What We Don't Change We Choose

Happy Sabbath and last Sabbath of the year.

It's been a good week. No complaints. No bad surprises.  It's all good. I was able to sit back in the congregation and enjoy the service. I did play for a little bit in the morning and was able to have a great class with my Primary students even though most of them came late. I saw faces I haven't seen for a while which was nice and enjoyed a lovely song by a sister who always does it right. She has such a beautiful contralto voice and I was happy to assist her with a speaker for the background.

Now I'm home and my son is creating a Bible commic series that I think is going to be a hit. I watched some of his Bible story videos and plan to watch some more.

No complaints.  This is a good end to a differently different year and I look forward to seeing and making new great things happen for 2025.

What we aren't changing, we are choosing. I'm choosing to change for the better and have a better closer walk with Christ. 

Be Humble

I quit my part time officially today. It was hard because I know the Lord gave me this job. I didn't want to leave. It gave me financial security for the last 4 years and its hard to let go of that comfort you get from having those extra funds.On the flip side, I didn't want to go back because of bad decisions I made back in 2021. I sinned and there were consequences to my choices, my actions. The Lord knows me and what my issues are. If I were to go back, I would have to deal with so much pressure.  From unkind people talking about what they think they heard or know about me to being harassed by people who I would not cross in my regular daily life. He gave me a wonderful opportunity and I went and messed things up. God used my son to help me step back to get a better view and handle on things. God is my provider. He is the One who makes my life, everything good possible. God made this opportunity come to out of no where when I was in my greatest need. He's done it before and if I commit to walking faithfully with Him, He can do it again. I looked for a verse at random while praying about what I should do and I came to Isaiah 27:10. It says, Isaiah 27:10 Yet the defenced city shall be desolate, and the habitation forsaken, and left like a wilderness: there shall the calf feed, and there shall he lie down, and consume the branches thereof. "

An interpretation of it via Google search said,

Symbol of God's care
The scene of calves grazing and lying down in a desolate city can be seen as a symbol of God's care and provision, even in times of judgment. It can also be a reminder of the hope and renewal that God offers. 

I have done wrong and wasted the time and money the Lord allowed me opportunity to make. If I continue without seeking Him and committing myself fully, my city, my home, the things that I've worked for will be destroyed. It may be that I have nothing left after all of the time I put out there, but if I humble myself like the calves, like livestock, like sheep, I can trust that He will take care of me. I need to humble myself.  That verse is for me and I know it is because of the chapter number and verse number.

I need to humble myself like a calf. I need to lie down and take a break and accept the Lord's provisions. I am not self made. God made me and if He tells me to take a break from this hustle life, then a break I must take. 

Staycation Time???

Happy Sabbath

I am thankful to be home and able to rest today. I was supposed to be on a trip with my family but ended up canceling a few hours before.  My son became a pathfinder and we attended the most beautiful service and concert. I had received notification from Mt mother that instead of going on the trip as soon as pull up she said we were to leave at 3am and recommended I come at that time. I had already packed everything and was thrown by that. Then she remembered she wanted me to park my car in their driveway and so she asked that we come over after the service ended. I agreed.

I drove over and my son had an attitude. I also was annoyed but tried to fight through it. Then things fell apart when I saw the space that was reserved for us in the suv. Every single year we pack four bags. He has 2 bags (one for meds and his machine and the other his clothing) and I have two bags (my clothing and a bag for his and my electronics). I also had a small jackery generator I would use for our computers during the ride. I don't know what plane my mom was on but she managed to eliminate even space for the bags. I was peeved with this and knew it was also time for my monthly. I needed space and I could not imagine tolerating a tight ride for 10-14 hrs and not being able to stretch my legs or have any space. I struggled with it and decided that we would not go because I knew I would blow a gasket riding down there. I also knew that even though mt mom said we would be doing work on the house down there, every time I've gone, I was not permitted to do anything. 

I sat at the table thinking about the trip and went on to pay a bill. Then my mother came down confused why I was not upstairs and she gave me a Christmas gift which she insisted I open that evening.  I'm glad that I did. It was $1000. I thanked her and returned home with my son. My monthly started horribly at 3am, the very time we were supposed to be headed out on the road for the trip.   I then decided to go to the bank on Monday and when I tried putting the 1k in, the bank rejected 100 and accepted the rest. I was confused so I did another transaction and it accepted the remaining 100. I went home with the intention of moving all funds to one of my high interest savings accounts when I received a notification that I would have auto pay for another card on Saturday.  When I looked at my accounts I realized that I gave too high of an amount to pay one bill. If I left for vacation,  I would have been in the negative for my main checking account (at least that's the numbers read that morning). I am thankful that I didn't go because of that. I'm thankful for the alerts so I kept the 1k in my account as protection for the week.

I talked more about Walmart with my mother Saturday night and after hearing her feedback, made the decision to not return to them. It's going to be tough. When I had Walmart, I didn't have to wonder if I had or didn't have enough in my account.  My relationship has improved with my son since stopping in October. I am getting more rest. I am not frayed like I was daily. I don't have to slap myself to stay awake while driving on the highway.

I received a notification today from them asking me what I planned to do and I don't plan on responding.  It's so not like me to just quit like this. I have to though.

I am thankful for these last three months. I am thankful that I could spend the whole of the holidays with my family. I am thankful for the help I am getting through my family by the Lord's hand. I am thankful for how this year is drawing to a close.

God saw the mistakes I was about to make and helped me out truly and I am so thankful. 

Vacation Time

Happy Sabbath and good afternoon

It's such a good day. The children led out a fantastic program and the script was done by one of our own. She did a play previously and it was really good and funny as well (she really has a gift for play writing). I was happy to see my son participate in it and actually listen to what it was about. Later today he will become a pathfinder which is exciting. And then tonight we will go on vacation. I have everything except my phone charger and his electronics packed up. I look forward to a relaxing vacation and change of climate.  I am off work all of next week through Christmas. It's going to be a nice break. God is good. 

My Son

Happy Sabbath

I had a good week and a good day at church today. I was looking at some photos this morning and cane across something that makes me think I judged a situation the wrong way. I have to talk the Lord about it to know for sure. I always screenshot receipts and have a trail when I spend money. I had two screenshots but there was nothing with a dollar amount attached to it. I think that perhaps the enemy saw an opportunity and tried to confuse me with the timing of it all and it is possible the harm set up for me was not by the person I thought all this time. But I also can't rule them out.Only the Lord knows and so I give it to Him.

I am home with my son and am enjoying this lovely Sabbath afternoon making Bible comics with him. He looked through my old portfolio and was inspired to start a new series and work on a series I created when I was 15 and haven't touched in all these years. He wants to be an artist and I love seeing him put his skills to use and glorifying the Lord at the same time. I will always encourage it and he's pretty good too. I just wish he'd take up a love for making music and get on some of the instruments I have in the living room. We have a baby grand, four clarinets, a flute, alto saxophone, snare drum, trumpet, violins, guitars and other instruments around the house and if I can get my hands on a bassoon or tenor sax, I'd feel almost complete. I love music. I love making music and I want this to be passed down to generations in my family. He is so talented and I want him to get even more skills and use them for the Lord.

God is good. I am thankful for my son, for my family. I am thankful for the skills that we have and that they are growing. He is working in my child's life and that's all I could ever ask for. 

A Good Day

Happy Sabbath,

Today was a good day and Thanksgiving was OK. I went over to my parents' home to celebrate with them. I made fried chicken, vegan beignets and a vegan entree as I didn't expect much to be available for me to eat but I was pleasantly surprised by a spread of plant based dishes my mother prepared for me. It was so wonderful to see my son sitting at the table with everyone eating his chicken and beignets. I am happy that it was not too salty for people. My son wouldn't lie about food and he really did help himself. I wish I could try it too but I've been committed to being a vegetarian and am not willing to change up now. For the vegan entree, I mixed Trader Joe's plant beefless bulgogi with the vegetarian fried rice and shelled edamame with my favorite soy sauce (Tam Thai Tu) from Chin Su foods. I always try to introduce vegetarian options and they liked the bulgogi but were confused about what it was.

I had a good day at service and am glad to be home. I changed up the shape of my beignet recipe and now they cook better as vegan donuts and my son loves them. I am thankful that my son is now eating my food. I have always experimented and don't like following recipes. I want to be that cook that can walk in any kitchen and hook something up delicious without needing measuring devices or following a strict process. He asked me a strict vegetarian to make chicken and I did what I would do if it were chicken or even how I would if I were to consume it.

I'm thankful he is eating. I'm thankful my family enjoyed my food. I am thankful for the company that I was able to be around. I am thankful to Jesus for every day. God is good and I hope that you had a great week and Thanksgiving too. Praise the Lord and Happy Sabbath!

Thankful and Blessed

Happy Sabbath

I am at church and Happy today. I am thankful to get rest last night. I am thankful for good health, for employment,  for the confidence and strength that Jesus gives me. It's a tough and ugly world and time but I am thankful that He is keeping us through it all. I am at the piano and waiting for divine service to start. I hope to honor the Lord and play well, lifting His name up in song.

God is good. I hope that you have had a great week and that the Lord keeps you from danger and blesses you and your household. 

Attack Thwarted

 Happy Sabbath,

I am on here later than I intended to be.  I had a good week and great Sabbath.  I opted to sit in the sanctuary to hear the full sermon today and I was not disappointed.  I like when there are speakers who don't sugar coat the truth or tell a feel good message.  There was a word for everyone there and for me it was even more of a warning to stay alert and ready for the troubles ahead.  

I had an interesting week.  I was subject to credit card theft.  I have not been subject to this type of fraud since dealing with my son's father.  So I was contacted via text by a person who attends my church.  They offered a service for me and I thought on it and didn't want to respond but felt obligated to speak to her when I next saw her.  I then decided I would purchase something to try to help her out because I know that she and her child are not in the best of situations.  Red flag number one was that she called me later in the day to try to discuss and get the money but I told her I would talk to her tomorrow after the Sabbath.  

Sunday came and I looked over the site and decided on what I wanted. I thought about purchasing with my credit card but I did not know if the purchase would be credited to her store and if she would get the benefit so I decided instead to purchase the items with cash. I went over to her home intending to give her the cash and head on about the rest of my plans.  Earlier in the day I had gone to the YMCA, purchased a drink for my son from a vending machine, went to Burger King for him to get something as well as Five below and then went to drop off the cash. But this led to me being asked to take her to the laundromat and I agreed.  I took her and her son to the laundromat and agreed to pick them up since when they would finish it would get dark out and not be safe for them to walk home.  I came to pick them up and then she asked to go to McDonald's. I agreed since it was near by.  I drove to McDonalds and let them out. She asked if I was going to come in and get something and I said no because I had already picked up Burger King for my son earlier in the day.  She and her son come back out with their food but she starts asking her son what happened to his tablet.  They go back in the store and return with tablet in hand.

Ok...so the son left the tablet by accident. Nothing suspicious.  I knew she wanted to go to the bank to put the money in and I figured since she was in my car I could quickly take her over there. She told me the bank and she got out and took a strange amount of time fiddling around with her bag in front of my car before she went into the building. She came out and asked about going to Dollar Tree.  Now I had planned on going to Dollar tree anyway after dropping her off as I wanted to get those pomegranate drinks my parents buy all the time that are really nice.  I drove to Dollar tree with her and all of us went in the store.  I went looking for the drinks and I didn't see any of them. My son was running around playing hide and seek.  I heard her and her son in the next aisle over talking about what they wanted to get.  I meet with them at check out and there are other people in the store but in our lane it is just us and she is ahead of me.  She only had a few items that were fairly inexpensive.  Then she tells me she forgot her wallet out in the car and asked if the car was open.  

I couldn't see the car from where I was standing and didn't want a line to form while waiting for her to return so I did what I would typically do. Offered to pay for her things.  She didn't say thank you and immediately reached for another item to add to the conveyor belt.  I didn't notice anything off. She was in front and her son as well. My son was here and there.  I paid for everything with my card and thought nothing else of it.  

I drove them home and went home with my son.  She later sends me a text asking for my email, birthday, address.  I thought her phrasing was a bit weird and I am not the person to tell people my birthday so I only told her my social email address which I respond to most on.  It is newer and does not have junk mail or scammy stuff connected to it in anyway. 

I wake up early on Mondays and start work at 4:30am so when I started moving about around 4am I noticed an alert on my phone that there was a charge for $100 that I did not recognize.  I went into my app and confirmed that it was an attempted charge of $100 for a beauty related site.  I called the fraud line and had them cancel and requested a new card.  After doing some checking around I found it suspicious that it was beauty related and it was saying I was giving a gift to someone out of free will.  

Then no later than 3 hours after me being up, I get a text from her asking me to drive her to some place far at 9am.  I told her I could not and was working.  

Then later in the day she asks if I can take her to another place and I decline again.  I tell her that I have no availability during the work week. My son saw me write that message and laughed at me but I don't just hand over my time to anyone especially when I have strong doubts about them.  I'm busy.  I'm busy doing work. I'm busy playing a video game. I'm busy making dinner or cleaning my house. I'm busy getting a much needed nap.  You don't owe anyone an explanation for how you use your time except the Lord okay? I also didn't want to get struck again driving her around to who knows where.  

The next day she tells me my items arrived and I thought that was odd.  Why so quick.  How??  I tell her I will pick up the items when she comes to church on Sabbath, sticking to my busy week statement.  I'm busy protecting myself, yeah. 

Then also the same day I also get a message to my email which is really really scammy.  It was called AngeLink and the stories listed which asked me for a gift were really not it.  

She didn't say anything else to me all week and then today she gave me my items.  She kept trying to see where I was going.  I had a ministry to attend to later in the day and I was surprised but not surprised that she and her son caught a ride to come out to that ministry.  They have never done so.  Prior to that she asked me if I had $10 and I typically don't carry cash on me so I told her of a truth I did not have the money.  She went about asking another person who has a big heart but I found it quite odd that she caught a ride out with that person who lives no where near where she lives, never told her that she intended on asking me for a ride home.  She was trying to catch me again.  When she told the person that I was going to give her a ride home, the person who was expecting to do so didn't reach in the way she typically would. Usually she would say that was great news and that it works out better because we live in the same town (the other person would not have to drive out of her way).  Instead, the other driver seemed worried and confused.  I did agree to give her a ride but I overheard her asking that other person for the $10.  I don't often hear people asking for money like that but in this case she was not quiet about it and I think she did so to make sure I heard because I told her no hours ago.  Then she got in my vehicle and I drove her home but as I passed a McDonalds and was out of range she had wanted me to drive back so they could go there.  I didn't though.

Didn't you guys just get lunch at church?  I don't make unnecessary purchases on Sabbath and I don't go out of my way to help others to do so either.  I told her several times I was taking them straight home as I had other things I had to do.  I didn't go into specifics but just said so.  She kept saying to her son that she would get someone to take them to McDonald's later and then proceeded to ask me if I was going back out later. She kept trying and I  told her of a truth my vision is not so good at night.  I dropped them off and kept my wallet close to me.  

I don't know how my info was taken that day.  I believe perhaps and unfortunately I believe it was her. That she took a photograph of the front of my card. She was not successful with getting the $100 because she didn't have the CVV number.  Either that or there may have been another device in play, I don't know.  

I had a bad feeling and there were so many red flags I might as well become a Moroccan or Chinese citizen they were so red.  I will not get caught in a situation like that again.  I've had my cards taken. I've watched money drained from my account minute by minute. I've dealt with such people who claim to be Christians.  I did tell another Church sis my suspicions.  I do not intend to cause division in the church and definitely don't want them to stop coming.  God can change any person and fix any situation and this situation is not out of His reach.  I might also be wrong in my summation.  For all this, I need prayer.  

I am not out $100.  I just am dealing with an inconvenience of not having my primary shopping card.  I'm missing out on my cash back.  I have other cards and my credit score is about 813.  I'm not getting tricked again and allow my heart to run ahead of my mind.  

As I write this the Sabbath is over.  Today was a good day.  I had a great day with my church family and know that the Lord will work all of this out.  

Quick Thanks

Happy Sabbath,

I am waiting for my son to finish up with Pathfinders meeting. I am thankful for a great week. My aunt's birthday is today and turned 80 so I am thankful for that. I am thankful for my job and to be in better health today. God is good. No complaints
I hope that you have had a good week and that the Lord will be with you.

Gifted Youth

Happy Sabbath,

Today was a great day. I'm sitting here with my son seeing him make great Christian content for our church youtube channel. He is out here being a sound engineer, creating great songs with programs I've never even heard of. He is producing fun Bible story videos for the children and going far beyond what I could ever do and he's only 11. I love it so much. I look forward to working with him and the other youth,  the Adventurer instructors and church members.  I have no complaints. God is good. God is blessing my family, my son and others with amazing gifts that are being used to glorify Him and they are excited about it. They are excited about God. I want this interest to continue to grow for everyone.  It's wonderful to see. :)

Great Week

Happy Sabbath

Keeping it very short. I had a great day today. I was able to bring my child to his first Pathfinders meeting and I'm excited for the things he will learn and the adventures we will go on. I am also helping with my group and we are getting ready for our service for the children. I was able to visit a new church and try out their piano which was lovely to play. I had a productive Sabbath school class and was able to cover everything I wanted to share with the students.  My parents are in the Carolinas and safe. I just had a great week and thank the Lord for it all. 

Thankfulness

Happy Sabbath

I am thankful for a safe a productive week at work.
I am thankful for time to spend with my son and to be at home.
I am thankful for having enough money to get groceries.
I am thankful a clean beautiful room that I can rest in.
I am thankful for my family.
I am thankful for a great day at church and to be able to work with the youth.
I am thankful for the talents the Lord has blessed me with and that I can be useful.
I am thankful for another day.
I am thankful for the Lord's peace.
I am thankful for the Lord's protection.
I am thankful for Jesus.

Train

Happy Sabbath

I had a good week. I was able to work from home four days this week. My son started therapy yesterday and the visit went well. Church was good today. Monday I picked up my mom from the train station. I wondered why she wasn't texting me a bunch and my dad told me she was riding with one of her friends. Out of 365 days in the year. Out of all the times to hop on an Amtrak train, it was Monday. The train was an hour late and when my dad went to inquire, a familiar voice to my mom told them to just come inside the station because they knew it was a delay. There happened to be two childhood friends in the station and one was riding up to NYC. They did not know they both would be in Carolina at the same time. It could only be God. And so, my mom rode up with her good friend. God knows what the other needed and I thank Him for keeping my mother and her friend on their unexpected travels.

God is good :)

October

Good morning and Happy Sabbath
I am awake earlier than I planned to be.  I am troubled but I will still and always give glory to God.

I am thankful that a team has been assembled to support my child. I put out a request thinking that I would just be linked up with a therapist for him but we have been given a case manager for him, a resource person for me, and a therapist who is actually trained or seems to be. My child was to go to NC with my parents for two weeks and but he became violent in route so they had to return 3 hrs later. When I went to go take my 2hr nap to prepare for my parttime job overnight he decided he was not only going to go outside without my permission to ride his scooter but he attempted to drive the suv.

My child is 11.

I am now seeking a LOA for the part time because I cannot trust what he will do. I do have supervision for the full time and if I'm lacking I can just use PTO, but stopping my part time puts me in a tight spot. I hope to return in January as I get things figured out for him. The absence of the part time puts a twisting foot on my wallet. I have enjoyed these almost 5 years of freedom to spend on the things that we wanted.  I rarely would worry about prices; I knew I could afford things and shopped and moved about without stress.

Without that stream of money, we will have an extremely tight budget and I am trying to help him understand the changes.

I had tried in the past calling around to get additional help for him and I got no where. I am thankful that with the help of the case manager,  my son had his first psych appointment two days later following my outreach. He started a med which I know many of my clients have used. I haven't heard of too many issues for them on it. He did complain of a headache and said he felt sick which nausea is one of the side effects.  I don't want him to be on psychotropics but after everything that has happened this week and over the years, I have to see if it will help. 

I am thankful that currently there are enough funds to sustain us. If necessary I can cut off the YMCA membership.  I was able to reduce my phone bill by almost half and I terminated a quarterly extermination service that kept the wasps and crickets at bay. I was told they would waive the cancelation fee of $251 and I hope they will.  I had been paying them nearly $70 monthly for over a year and only called them once (which was this week) to have a treatment before time. I wanted a final indoor treatment to make sure crickets don't breech this fall.

I am thankful for an easier way to submit info to get reimbursed at work for mileage and more money is being paid back for cellphone reimbursement.  It was so tedious and annoying that I let go years of submitting that info because it would yield so little yet take up so much of my time. I was making bank with the part time so I didn't care I wasn't getting the extra funds for mileage or cellphone.  The person responsible for processing all of that also was losing documentation and letting things sit on her desk. When I saw I didn't get paid for 2 months of mileage I decided to give up. There is a new person running it and the process is soo much better now.  Those checks will definitely help ease things up.

I am thankful.  I have managed to save alot of money. I can still homeschool my child and live in this home we have. Even though I'm stressed about it, I still have an opportunity to return to my part time. I don't want to use the pto I accrued with them because if I do, I might psych myself out of returning.  I also want it to be there for an emergency.  I am thankful that my parents are still trying to help even after what happened this week.


There is alot to be thankful for. I'm going to prepare for service today. God is good, even when it's the month I dislike the most: October. 

Happy Sabbath 

Corn

Good morning and Happy Sabbath

I'm getting on here early. I am thankful that this has been a good week. I am thankful to have had some rest last night which was sorely needed. I reached out to restart therapy for my son and there are new characters involved offering more than I expected or even knew about. I am thankful that there are more options. 

I had a sad moment yesterday and walked off to talk to God. I was directed to two passages of scripture in James and I just have to seek after the Lord. My son is behaving like my opp right now but I know the Lord can change things around.

We did have a good day Sunday going to a corn maze. We had to work together to find the clues and get out. It was hot, it was fun somewhat, and we have alot of work to do. I was hit by locusts and had a spider go over my face.  I could have done without that.

I tried to use my suv that was acting like it didn't want to start 2 weeks before.  The battery died. I called AAA and had it towed thinking I could get other things fixed at my former mechanic.  All they did was replace the battery. The window control doesn't work on the driver's side for the passenger window. Also, after spending around 2k on this issue, the AC stopped working again. Prior to the battery,  it was barely working but I was frustrated and waited so long I just accepted it. I didn't want to spend any more money on it with the other guys. I need a new car and I don't have the money. 

I'm going to prepare for service today. I hope that where ever you are that you have a great day. 

Relationships

Happy Sabbath,

I'm posting early because I don't know how much stuff I'll have to do this afternoon for church. I ran out of time last time and I don't know if I'll be able to get a moment to myself.

This week was a good week but a different one. One where my relationships were tested and my confidence was shaken in all. I showed up for something important and tried to do my part and help but I felt as the youngins say, vibe, was off. I noticed how people were moving around me and responding to me and I didn't like it. I decided to leave as a result. I did have a good excuse but I was supposed to come back and I decided not to do so. I went home,  took the medicine I forgot to take and laid down to rest before I worked hard the night before and didn't get any real rest that would have sustained me through the day. But I know how I am. I can keep going on zero and could have that day but I was not willing to deal with the aloofness of others.

I felt people's disregard for me during the work week but that isn't really anything.  Those people are not church family so that has little effect on my mood. I felt like I was under spiritual attack on Wednesday night so much so I used my last time off to stay home. I worried I would not have the energy to work because I didn't sleep. I tried calling my mom but it went to voicemail and she never does that. I texted her and didn't get a quick response still went forward with calling out of work.

I eventually got a response and she said she had the volume turned down.  Again, something she never does.

I go over Thursday morning to be told that she and my dad are going to the vacation house for two weeks in October.  It was her first time telling me this and she is not taking my son who is homeschooled because of how he has responded to them throughout the year. I'm setting therapy back up for him to work on these things but I was completely blindsided. I am dealing with several major car repair issues and other things and now I have the added concern of my son being unsupervised for longer than I've ever allowed.  I can't afford childcare and I have relied on the help of my parents throughout these years. I told them to go on the trip and that we will be fine. I am going to pray on it. I have a bit of a mess before me but it is nothing that I can't get through without God. 

I am thankful my son for the most part is at an age where he can be responsible and keep out of trouble.  I do have a concern for something but again I'll give it to God. I can rearrange my schedule and make my outings shorter so I can return home quickly. I will continue to look for options that will allow me to be present with my child and give me the funding and flexibility I need to maintain this home.

I had attempted a field trip yesterday with him. I wanted to take him to a fine arts museum and we got on the train. I haven't done so in such a long time and didn't know how to validate my ticket. We got on the train and I looked up online that the process changed. I got off at the next station and thought I could get back on quickly but the train took off. I told my son first to hold on but I'm glad he got off with me because he would have been going for a nice little ride. He grilled me on that and I deserve it. When I told him what the field trip plans were he was against it so we decided to switch tracks after properly validating tickets and took the next train back to where the car was parked. As we waited and talked about field trips we could do for social studies or science, a guy with his 3 children came to the station. He was yelling at his children about how life was unfair, using strong profanity and just angry at the world. It seemed perhaps his oldest was fighting in school and he had to get him. Not sure about the others but he was having a hard time trying to figure out what he was going to do for the day. I hope that things improve for that family. 

Everyone is going through something.  His connections, my relationships are being tested and our weaknesses in character have shined through this week. But God is good and He is faithful to carry us through is we seek and lean on Him. I have talents that I need to use for the Lord.  I hope to move forward doing so and not allow how someone looks at me, speaks to me, or moves around me prevent me from living up to the standard He set for me; from being obedient.  I need to give Him the childcare situation and trust His leading for it all.

I'm getting ready for service today. I hope that you have a happy Sabbath and that your burdens are lifted away and eliminated in Christ Jesus' Name.

Short LATE Post

Happy Sabbath

This is perhaps my shortest post because I'm soon late. I thank God for helping me have a great week. I had successful meetings, didn't end up stranded,  paralyzed or have any other major problems. I attended a great service today, was able to have communion and meet a new pastor. My son is putting out amazing new videos and far exceeding what I couldn't even imagine. He is taking my older material and putting a fun fresh spin on things. I am thankful for my family and all these many things. I am thankful for Jesus giving me another chance even after making poor decisions. God is good!!!

Wonderful Week

Happy Sabbath,

I'm posting a little bit earlier today than I usually do. I thank God for helping me to recover from my illness I had last week. I thank God that I was able to take off all last week and relax. I thank God that I am at church today and I am thankful that my son had a great first week of homeschool.  We ran into that church sister again yesterday when we went to the YMCA. She was outside waiting already as we walked uo and I recognized her immediately.  I don't know why I ran I to her a second time. There has to be a reason for it and if so, the Lord will reveal it. God is good. I have overcome a strange and difficult time and I am thankful because of Jesus' intervention. I also celebrated my baptism anniversary on the 1st. 

Just Make It Over The Bridge

Happy Sabbath,

I thank God. I thank God for keeping me and getting me to safety.  Monday I was experiencing gi issues and I felt queasy and unsettled as I went into Tuesday. I had a full day ahead of me so when I came back to my house Tuesday morning to switch into my full time job gear, i picked up frozen bottles of water and my flavor enhancer, computers and forms and headed back out the door. I went to my first meeting and it went well but I still felt sick. I went to my second appointment and was feeling still off but told myself and a person who called me that I would press on. At the time I believed I had food poisoning from ordering poorly refrigerated oatmilk from Walmart delivery. After my second appointment I called my township to see if they approved a permit I was seeking for an event my church was having. They told me they were still waiting on the police department to review and then would give me a call. I passed this guy who was waiting at the intersection earlier and when I came back to that same intersection I handed him a cold water I was intending to drink. He thanked me and I drove on to seek out a place to use a restroom. I received a call right after I gave the man the water and they said the permit was approved so I rejoiced over that. I kept driving and suddenly my hands started feeling numb. Then I pulled over and my hands and feet were feeling numb. I was started to wonder how bad the food poisoning was so I informed my supervisor I was ending my day at 11am and I told my parents I was heading back their way. I attempted driving but had to pull over twice more because the numbness was increasing and it was freaking me out. It was getting so intense. I came up to a bridge which only has one lane in and out. I prayed hard for the Lord to help me make it over the bridge because if it got any worse, they would have had to shut the bridge down. I made it over the bridge and I took the first turn which was for the bridge police and when I made it there, I could go no further. My hands and legs were paralyzed. I turned off the car and had the windows down and flashers on. I had my phone within reach and was able to dial my parents and tell them where I was before I called 911. If I had taken any more time, I would not have been able to call for help.

I was taken to the hospital and they diagnosed me with hypokalemia and gave me two large potassium tablets and the paralysis and numbers started to lessen up. A weird doctor also came in the room and tried to say I had a panic attack but I was certain I didn't. He gave me Ativan which made me a bit unsteady on my feet but otherwise, I was back to normal when I returned home. I rested for the day, did go to work part time on Wednesday but for my main gig I took off all week. I went online looking for what could cause temporary paralysis in those areas and came across a video of a doctor who ran an experiment on himself having low potassium and he was in a much worse off condition than I was.

I had a follow up with my PCP office and the guy confirmed it was hypokalemia.

I am so thankful. If it continued on it could have affected my breathing, my heart and other parts. It could have ended badly. God kept me through it. I thank Him, I thank Jesus for His help, the swift response of the medical and police force and that I was able to get a proper diagnosis and treatment quickly.

God is awesome :D

Inspired

Happy Sabbath

It's was a good week. I was able to get new tires on my other vehicle but I have to get new cross bars before they can do an alignment.  They will allow me to do a tire rotation for free as a AAA member. I was told to order lug nuts because they needed to be replaced but if I got them through AAA, I'd have to pay $150. I bought some off of Amazon for 20 bucks and plan to price out the cross bar repair before making my next move. My suv has working AC but I know more work needs to be done.
I am thankful nonetheless because I could be out here depending on bussing and Lyft drivers. I would need to rent a car for my main job to even do it.

I've had my ups and downs with my son but God is good. I learned also today that my pastor is going to another area and we are getting a new one. He and his family will absolutely be missed as he helped us get so far and to do many great things. I had decided to go to the YMCA yesterday and chose to wear these retro Nike air max sneakers I had from the 90s. I only wore them a handful of times in childhood and didn't wear them out again. My son was determined to take my gym Adidas shoes so I decided to put the old sneakers on as I didn't have a pair I wanted to damage with creasing in my collection. We played basketball and when I went to switch it up on him my right shoe broke. The heel separated and I had to hold it together with a hair tie I always keep on my wrist. I stuck it out so we could get it in at the weight room but as I was leaving the room my left shoe separated.  The shoe malfunction caused me to end my visit early. I came outside and saw someone familiar standing waiting for her ride. It happened to be this pianist who I knew from my other church
.She played for 40 yrs and when I stopped at her church I for a period would cover for her when she was sick or wanted to sing with a group.  I ended up leaving to be the pianist at my current church and she suggested I stop by her church to visit. There unfortunately is no one to cover and except for vacation or being extremely ill, I would never just decide to not play piano for my church. I'm the first member in the building and usually close to the last that leaves. Today they had to turn the lights off on me and I always stay at the piano if I'm not trying to supervise my child.  She is 93 and goes to the gym. That is absolutely inspiring to me. My late ficative aunt who I used to live with was in her 80s hitting the gym. So I am encouraged and it was so nice to run into another church member in the wild.

I don't know the exact reason but God knows. I hope that she has a blessed weekend as well as my pastor's family and anyone who reads this.

God is good. 

Don't Ruin the Mood

Happy Sabbath,

My son right now is not happy but I am. We just left church and are going to minister at the nursing home. He became frustrated when two children he selected were making too much noise and even when they were not making noise he wanted them to sit still and wait an eternity for him to finish recording his parts. He's going to have to work on that. We were not able to get their parts recorded and now he's totally shut down and not even talking to me. Any whoo, today was a good day. Things don't always go the way you expect them to but it doesn't have to sour your mood. I was trying to get someone to redo a design but she ended up getting caught in other meetings and did not make her way back. I have limited ability to do the designs and if I don't get more cooperation I'm really just going forward with what I have. I am not going to stress over nobody or anything.  It really is how it is. I had a good week. I am back in my suv. I have to go back to AAA next week to get my tires because they did not record my appointment when I scheduled online for yesterday.  No biggie. It is what it is. After nursing home, I'll go home and relax. I have to go to work tonight so I'll get that out of the way and if my son continues with his foul attitude I'll go to the gym alone tomorrow morning. 

It's going to be a great weekend.

I hope that you too will have a great weekend, are having a great Sabbath and that you are blessed. 

Need a Ride

 Happy Sabbath,

No complaints.  I was able to celebrate my sister's birthday yesterday and spent time with my parents.  It was a good time even with everything going on with the weather.  I took off some time during the week (one day from my part time and a day and a half from my main).  I didn't need to take time off from the part time. I try hard to save it for when I feel sick or there's an emergency but I just decided to use it to relax more at home.  My son did say he wasn't feeling too well but he pretty much talked about it after I took off.  He was fine though.  I am looking forward to going to the gym tomorrow. I invited my sister and she is willing to check it out using a visitor's pass.  I'm working on ending big-backedness this year.  I have broad shoulders courtesy of my mother and my apple shape causes everything to gain on my upper half.  I am doing arm and back exercises and am taking care of business.  I was in great shape in my late 20's and managed to get into great shape in my late 30's and then got lazy.  I am 40 and know I can get back if not better.  I hope to get a good work out in, mow the lawn, fix some things around the exterior of my house, and maybe even go to a festival that I have always wanted to check out.  I'll see.  

I am still waiting for my suv to be fixed.  I dropped off last week Wednesday again and they didn't tell me how much it would be at first.  I had waited until Wednesday this week to check in and the guy told me the price was the same as before.  I told him he didn't quote a price.  He told me it was $1086 and some change.  I won't even say how much I paid for the condenser, compressors (one blew up so the other was covered by a warranty), the starter and other stuff.  If the AC does not work on this car, I'm going to call it quits for the suv.  I have spent way too much money and that car is not even the newer car.  I really need to get a new one.  I spoke with my pastor today and he has to get similar work done but he managed to get his cars over 300k miles.  It's encouraging because I felt like I would have to give up after they hit 200k.  I drive a lot.  

I have to give it over to the Lord.  I need transportation and I have not had a car payment in almost 11 years.  I want to save up money for a new car and if I have to get a new one, I want to be able to pay 80% or more in cash if I have to get into an agreement.  

I'm going to get off this thing.  God is good. I had a good week. I was able to get around where I needed, celebrate my little sis' and God continues to provide for us.  I hope you have a blessed and wonderful week as well. 

Thankful

Happy Sabbath :)

Keeping it short since I'm late here. I'm thankful for an opportunity to go back to the gym with my son.  I did overdo it one day and have to wear a knee brace but I am able to get on machines and get my workout on which is something I've missed for a long time. I am thankful to have my main work schedule back for work. Hopefully they will stop playing with people's time and let us get our money. I'm thankful for a good week and that my son was willing to attend bible study. I hope that he will get baptized one day soon but we have to be consistent with going to bible study, prayer and doing the things the Lord would have us to do.

God is good. 

YMCA

Happy Sabbath,

I had a good week. I returned from vacation and started back to work Monday night. I had in my mind that I wanted to get back into the gym and I also want to sign my son up for Taekwondo. I had to wait and see what they were doing with my part time work schedule and it appears as though things are returning to normal.  If I have to cut any costs, then I'll cut the quarterly exterminator treatments and the food bill. So far I'm seeing fewer spiders around here, no ants and no wasps mysteriously coming into my son's room.  I want to go through the year and see if any crickets show up.

About Wednesday I thought more about going to the YMCA and by Thursday, I decided I didn't want to wait until August 1st. I should just go get the membership on Friday.  And that was what I did. I haven't been to the Y in about 8 yrs (I had stopped because I started a new job and I couldn't afford it).

Prior to me starting,  on Thursday I met with four clients and for 3 of those clients,  the staff or team members without me asking started talking about them either attending the YMCA or needing to sign up. It was those three separate random but divinely appointed conversations as well as the verse of the day for Friday and additional commentary from Youversion that got me rolling. I was not aware the Olympics was going on in Paris as I don't follow those things. I listened to a video that further inspired me to get started.

After we signed up in person, I gave my son a tour of the facility and helped him train on some of the equipment.  Now he WANTS to put down the computer and become a gym bro (it's the funniest thing).

We also had a good time at VBS this week. I was in charge of the craft activities and the children made beautiful oyster/clams, beach ball twirliwigs and rainbow birds for the Thunder island theme.

Some children pressed my nerves a bit but overall it was a good experience and my son enjoyed being around the kids despite getting injured during a game of dodge block. Someone got the bright idea to throw jenga blocks instead of balls or other soft objects appropriate for dodgeball. He reinjured the same area as when we went to Walmart on Wednesday he was not looking and hit his head on the wall when entering Walmart by the carts door. He didn't duck. Poor thing. He's doing better and refused to go to the hospital.  I have ice packs and Tylenol and he has his biscuits and pizza so we are good.

I need to get off this thing but God is good. I thank Him for helping my son to feel better after busting his head (had to say it, I'm petty).
I thank God for confirming to me that we should move forward with restarting the YMCA. My son is becoming more health conscious and motivated. We can work out and encourage each other. He can be a mewed up sigma he wants to be and I don't have to blob out in old age. I am thankful for the financial means and time to do this. I am thankful I was able to see all my clients this week and be productive.

God is good. 

Carolina

Happy Sabbath,

This hour I'm sitting in a sofa in my son's room in Carolina and relaxing and I am thankful to be here and to have this vacation.  I expected to come here for a week to do work around the house. The only work I did was drilling holes through steel to attach some shelving in a trailer we have. My parents argued about what they wanted to do so much that nothing got done. I hope that we can move forward with getting someone trustworthy to come out and help finish the work. I looked up a few people on the  Nextdoor app as everyone else that came family recommended caused even bigger issues. We are so close and we would have easier tasks done like putting up drywall but my dad keeps stalling and making excuses.  I wish I could be here more often but my part time pay is needed and the part time doesn't give me the time off that I need.

I had hoped to go to a beach or lake during my time here but that didn't happen. I had my groceries delivered here so that was cool. I was able to go inside of a Food Lion for the first time in decades. If I try to do anything touristy, my mother will shut it down. So in the future I'll have to plan things out and arrange my transportation so I can see what's out here. I would prefer to come out here in the spring or autumn; it would be so much easier to get around without all this heat and fear of horse flies and fireants.

We are preparing to leave today so I will have to do church online. Tomorrow I might go to a lake near to my town and I think I'll take one of these tents back (I brought one this trip because my son was telling me of a spider invasion in the house). I just saw another tent that is larger here that I could use.

I am thankful that I was able to be here and relax this week. I am thankful that I could visit a cousin who just bought their home on the other side of town.  They own multiple properties and it was inspiring to be in her company and see what we could do when we give it to the Lord and are diligent in work. To know where her husband, my cousin from my mother's side came from and where he is now is simply incredible.  He came from nothing and is doing his thang. I'm so happy for them. I hope to build up like them and live in luxury too.

I'm going to come off of here. God is good. I hope you enjoy the day for yourself and spend as much time as you can with the Lord. 

Up and Down

Good afternoon and Happy Sabbath,

I'm going to keep this short because I need to pack for my trip tomorrow and prepare for work tonight. I had a good week. I thank the Lord for keeping me as I was having something of a medical emergency Tuesday.  The heat was getting to me and I thought I was going to pass out behind the wheel as I was going and returning home. I've never had breathing issues before but I most certainly had them Tuesday.  For my trip tomorrow I am packing my son's inhaler just in case because where I'm going is even hotter.  I thank the Lord for helping me get through this week.  I thank the Lord for the Message I heard from my pastor today which was about knowing our purpose. I thank the Lord for my jobs. One job gave me a 2% raise but if a budget is approved for the state, I will make nearly 9k more. My part time is cutting my hours which I'm not happy about but I will hang in there and hope things go back as they were. It seems every time I go to do a vacation, they start messing other things up. I know the Lord opened that door and if it is time to close it, I'll listen to Him. If the budget is approved and the part time stops playing games with my schedule, I could make over 83k a year. I have to wait and see what part time is doing as I want to start going back to the YMCA with my son for fitness.

I'm going to prepare my work stuff for tonight and gather my trip items. God is good :)

Fireworks and Farms

Happy Sabbath

I'm thankful to be home. My son and parents leave for the vacation home this evening and I'm looking forward to break, at least for a week. I expect to join them not tomorrow but the following Sunday.  I am thankful for a beautiful July 4th. I thought about going roller skating but I was tired and dealing with women's issues so I decided to forgo it. I started hearing fireworks and since I was off the full day I decided to go out with my son to ride around my neighborhood and hunt for fireworks.  I was able to stay close to my house and enjoy many firework displays while on an elementary school swing set. I'm glad I didn't allow my son to prevent me from going to this nor Sight and sound theatre yesterday. I saw the show Daniel and it was beautiful.  When I arrived back home I purchased the same seats for Noah which will be playing next year. This is going to be a summer time tradition now and I have to make sure I book a year out or else, we can't get the best seats.  I purchased the dvds David and Jesus and intend to watch them when my son is away. I enjoyed seeing the farms and countryside.  The beautiful horses, cattle and other animals as I traveled to get to the show. My son had no interest in the landscape or animals and I tried not to allow his attitude to ruin my experience being in Lancaster.

My son almost caused another house fire yesterday before we left out. He was disobedient during the show and to top it off, he put himself in a dangerous position when I was driving us home so he is no longer permitted to sit in the front seat. He reclined the chair all the way and stood up (sear bely was on his thighs and not protecting him. He was doing this to show off for what ever reason and I snapped on him because I was on one of the most dangerous highways in the area and we all were going at a high rate of speed. One person cut me off almost causing me to crash and I had to lay on the horn which is something I never do.

Then today he went to church and was disobedient..I only allow him to bring his computer for Bible related activities or to work on Christian projects with the other children.  I warned him that if he continued to misbehave he would not be taking his computer on the trip to the vacation house...and it's a very VERY long ride down there with nearly nothing to do. He chose to play video games and try to lead other children astray so he is not bringing it there.  I "might" bring it when I come.

I do want to do school work with him so ....I actually may just do it with him using my phone. Why should I bring the computer? I don't even want to bring mine. I am charging his Nintendo switch. If he continues to do poorly he won't even have that.

I am going to get something to eat and take my nap for this evening as I have to go to work. I hope thatvi can get my suv repaired next week. I put alot of money into repairs and still don't have AC. If they give me another ridiculous number then I will just become one with the summer and forget about any more work with this car. I need a newer vehicle and I want to pay for it in cash.  

I'm signing off. God is good. Thank you that I live in such an area I can enjoy fireworks and so much more.  Thank you for providing for me and keeping us safe. 

83

Good afternoon and Happy Sabbath,

I'll keep this short because I am running late to prepare for my work nap.

I am thankful to celebrate my dad's birthday yesterday.  He turned 83 and the event was a success. We went out to Olive Garden and I was able to get him some really nice gifts that he could use and would appreciate. 

I am thankful that although my car is not fixed, God saw it fit for me to get to the shop in time before they were going to leave for the weekend. He told me he would put my key under the drivers eat but when I was dropped off by my lyft, the car was locked. He didn't know it self locks and alarms. He and the owner were still present and they were able to use a jimmy to open the door. If I came any later I would be without the car for all of next week as they decided they were going to close and take that time to enjoy a short vacation.

I've been going through a whirlwind of a challenge with this car and I will have to wait till the second week of July to see if there is anything else they can do. First it was an oil change and brake light. Second it was the starter..Then it was the ac compressor, then 2 condensers. Their recharge machine needed to be repaired and they managed that Friday. Now it's leaking freon and they believe it is an ac coil. They will have to go in through the dashboard but ran out of time Friday. 

I had a good week but now I have something worrying me.

On Thursday I went to see one of my clients and she told me I was shaking. I didn't know what she was talking about. Then today at church, a little girl told me I was shaking.

I have been feeling like my bed is shaking or at least that was weeks ago. I hope I don't have Parkinsons. I asked my son and he said he has seen me shaking but never said anything. I'm worried. I'm only 40 and now all of these problems are starting up from huge clots, hip nerve pain, anemia and more.

I'm going to take some vitamins, clean up and lay down.

I also had this weird dream where for some reason I was in Manhattan with my son. He was much younger than he is now and I recall the dream not being a pleasant experience.  I was trying to get into Madison square garden for some weird reason. Then a day later my son's therapist meets with us and she recommends that my son and I go to NYC for July 4th. I've never taken him there and know that he will be very cross with me if I make him walk more than one city block.  I may venture to say that it is worse than walking Washington DC. Good things and weird things this week. 

I hope to give a better report next week God willing. 

Still HOT but I'm Cool

Happy Sabbath.

Keeping this very very short because I need to lay down for my pre-work nap. No complaints..God has kept me safe this week in this heat and I had a good day at church. I was able to help out for Sabbath school and service and for work I was kept hydrated and away from heat stroke during these tough times. I was told my AC was repaired in my suv but when I went to pick it up yesterday it was only blowing hot air. I started with an oil change and replacement of brake light. Then my car cut off when I was driving so I had it towed to my mechanic. They told me it could be the starter so they gave me a new one. I went to pull out of the lot when the car cut off again. They told me it was the AC compressor. I brought it back to get the ac compressor but then they told me the condenser blew up and metal was everywhere and they had to clean it up. They replaced the condenser with a Ford condenser and I roll around town for 20min-30min to see there is no AC and the AC guy left for the day.  My other vehicle, a Ford does not have AC and I could prepare many dinners and stir fry meals on the dashboard and in the back. I am thankful that I still have a vehicle to get me around for now. I really hope that they will fix it by Tuesday because I don't want to go another couple days driving around in an oven.

I am thankful I have the money to do the repairs. I am thankful for the food deliveries I'm able to have and I had two supermarkets deliver and my friend deliver food items all yesterday. Walmart doesn't want to allow for case water delivery so I'll pick up some tomorrow I think.

I need to lay down for my nap. I hope you have a blessed day and week and stay cool if you are dealing like a heat wave like I am.

Turn the Heat Up

Good morning and Happy Sabbath

It's 4:44am and I am trying to go back to sleep. It's going to be a busy day. I believe we have the nursing home ministry today and my son is trying to finish production on a Bible movie so he has to connect with a few other children to get their parts. I don't know if I will have time to post later today so why not now.

The heat is kicking up but God is good.

My car stopped working Tuesday and I had my vehicle towed. It would turn off while I'm driving and I was about 30 min away from home. Thankfully I was in a quiet residential neighborhood and not on a dangerous highway.  The mechanic told me it could be the fuel but then he said I needed a starter. I okayed the starter and when I came to pick it up he told me my AC converter went bad. I get in the car and find that if I activate the AC or heater, the car shuts down while in drive.

I was counting on this vehicle as it was the only one that had AC.

Now I have 3 old cars in my driveway.  My 2009 that has heat but no AC.  Same issue with converter only another autoshop was able to disable something inside so that if I drive and accidentally hit the button, it won't shut off mid drive. I have a 2006 that my parents left in my driveway as a backup. I didn't drive it enough so the battery or something else went kaput. My dad is meticulous about leaving windows cracked with his vehicles to prevent heat and cold from damaging the windows so for that car with windows cracked for years, there are spider nests and hornet kingdoms I'm certain in that vehicle. And now the 2008 SUV which was gifted to me within the last 3 years. There is a serious heatwave coming up and I have to come up with plan AC because I will fry with my laptop and papers in those cars.

I went to AAA yesterday to get my 2009 serviced and a woman overheard the service manager quoting me a lower price for my tires. This led to us having a conversation about God and her surviving a bad accident where a teen hit her 2018 vehicle and messed up her back. She was a very sweet lady and as we talked she told me about her children and her youngest who she seem excited that they were going to turn 40 this year. She then told me the date her youngest was born.

I was shocked because we share the same birthday.  It's really a rare occasion when I come across anyone with the same birthday. This sweet lady also said she was looking for a church so I asked for her number and sent her information for the one I go to. I also let her know that there are other congregations there that believe differently. God will send her where she needs to be. I believe that because that is what happened to me. I know that the truth is in my church and I know that there is truth in other churches too, but you have to listen to the Holy Spirit and allow the Lord to guide you. She said she has a friend who is Adventist. I hope that everything goes well for her and that the Lord helps with resolving her car problems and health problems. 

It is 5:08am now. I'm going to try closing my eyes for 45 min. The heat is turned up and things are getting a tad bit expensive but the Lord God is good nonetheless.  Praise the Lord and keep the faith,  no matter now hard it gets.

Thankful For The Lord Blessing My Son

Happy Sabbath,

I had a good week. It's good to see my son getting along with other children and putting his creativity and skills to good use. He is working with other children to make Bible story movies and today they really worked well together.  He is using a program that I never really learned to use but had heard about years ago. He's doing amazing things and I am going to continue to encourage him in the Lord. Work went well this week too. We are doing some new things for in home therapy and I like the direction things are going in.

No complaints. God is good. I hope that you have a safe and blessed weekend and new week to come. :)

It's a Good Day

Happy Sabbath

No real complaints.  God is good.  Work was working and I was able to get my lawn cut Thursday afternoon.  My son is still chugging away at his lessons. I am making more time to tackle his social studies, science and trying to finish out his math work (which is alot on IXL). He is understanding and remembering the concepts and if we go though the entire summer, he will be OK for 6th grade. I love this homeschool thing.

He is working on a Bible game and bible movie so it's exciting to see what he has been and is able to do. As long as he is learning stuff that is useful I'm cool.

I am dealing with spiritual attacks and I do need prayer for that. But I'm going to stay positive and keep on going down the path God has for me.

I hope you are having a great day and that you will have a blessed weekend. 

Unsettled

 Happy Sabbath,

I had a good week but ran into some challenges along the way.  I thank the Lord I was able to get all my trainings done (7hrs total under 2 hrs to get a short work day on Thursday.  I did take some time to view videos and look through materials and I went ahead and answered the quizzes that were available to pass and get training credit.  Last year it was much harder and I am thankful that this year was not so.  

I am thankful that the device I purchased for my free computer monitors works.  I have dual monitors now but I am still without internet at least for the time being.  I might look into getting a wifi card as all attempts to download wifi drivers and bluetooth drivers for that computer failed.  Nothing was compatible and I am only able to connect via ethernet cable which I temporarily did in my bedroom. I managed to download a couple useful applications but I would really like it to be connected in that room.  If a wifi card doesn't work, I will have to have my internet provider move the modem source to that room instead of the opposite side of the house where it currently is.  I haven't needed to open up a cpu in many years so I'l have to get the right screw drivers to get access and hopefully not mess things up if I do the card.  

I am thankful that I have a free computer, monitors and printer with toner.  I hope to finish putting everything else together in the next two or so days.

I am thankful for a good service today.  Two of our founding members are leaving and it was a good message today and tribute given.  They will be missed by many.  One moved back to her home country so now we are left with two to carry on,  I am going to do what I can to keep things going in the right direction and be present in support of the ministries as much as reasonable.  Maybe that's why I was under spiritual attack last night.  I have been dealing with some things over the past few weeks but nothing like what happened last night.

I prayed with my son before heading to bed and I don't think it was even one hour into my rest that I had what I would say was a vision of an invisible force throwing my plants and things down and around in my bedroom.  I awoke to it and am not sure if I screamed but I went into prayer for quite sometime.  I felt a presence around me that was unsettling and continued to pray it away.  I also went on to play scripture in my room as I continued to pray and did not leave my bed.  At some point later, I looked over to see if anything was disturbed but my plants were still on my side table as usual so I thought I had imagined it.  I went to sleep and woke up around 6am and prepared questions and did a review of the children's sabbath school lesson.  Then as it was almost 7am I decided it was time for me to get up and went to get out my bed and head to my bathroom.  It was then that I had my glasses on and could see that what had happened last night was not my imagination.  I saw my aloe vera plant on the floor along with the hand soap bottle and hand sanitizer bottle.  That plant has never fallen on its own and sits on top of my toilet.  No reason in the world for it to move, yet it was laying on the floor, soil and all with broken arms of the plant.  

So it was not my bedroom but my bathroom instead that this happened.  There were other things that happened over the last two sabbaths at church which I brought to the attention of church leadership.  One of ny students saw something and experienced something and many people would disregard what he had to say but this stuff is real.  I pray for him, his family, the children in my sabbath school, my family, my home...myself.  God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and of a sound mind.  I'm under attack for a reason but the Lord Jesus is greater than anything out here.  I'm giving it to Jesus.  So though I am unsettled, I am and I hope that you with what ever struggles you are facing trust in Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to help you.  Jesus promised to send a Helper.  Let us seek Him and stay with Him.  May you continue to walk and be blessed in Jesus' Name.  

Great Day

Happy Sabbath,

It was a busy but great day today..A really good week
I thank the Lord that I was productive at work. I thank the Lord for good practice with the children. They prepared songs and a program for Adventurers day and it went really well. I am thankful for the ability to support this growing group of children and that I could get our new classroom decorated..This would have been the third week that we had the room and it would not be right to not get it set up by now. The children helped decorate the room and put up signs. I want to make it even better by next week so I'll think about other things we can do.

My son is having some pain so I need to tend to him but yeah, it was a great day, a great Sabbath and God is good!

Be Thankful No Matter What

Happy Sabbath,

I hope you had a good week..I come on here each week to make sure I am recognizing what the Lord does in my life and to show that He is living and present and cares about us. I am thankful for His divine timing. I am thankful for His gifts and planning. I was giving stuff I had no use for away and last year I picked up four computer monitors that my job was donating. I gave one to a random parking attendant and another to my former boss and therapist of my son. I kept the two and thought I would use them with my laptops but I was not able to.  I was considering giving them away. First I loaded up bedding stuff in my suv to donate and did so. Thursday I received a message that my employer was giving away CPU’s,  monitors and other items. I needed a CPU with the correct ports to work for the monitors so I responded immediately that I wanted one. I never schedule meetings for work on Fridays but a case I just took over already had a meeting scheduled for Friday so I agreed to go. Since I would be out that way anyway, I could stop by the office and get the computer and other equipment and I did. I even walked away with a free printer and toner. I brought those items home and hooked up everything except for the printer and a monitor finally works. Now I just have to order a splitter for the cord...it's not I think its for display port, I need something that will connect both monitors to the cpu and I'll be straight. 

After I got the computer stuff, I had the church youth come to my house for practice which went well. At the end of the day, I ended up giving several a ride home. For months that suv has been filled with bags and crap and I was only able to give them a ride in a clean vehicle because I cleared it out for donations and went to pick up the free electronics for my home office. Also,  I'm notorious for not reading my emails and the fact that I saw the messages about free computers twice, I can only give it to the Lord because I really am missing alot for everything else and it's pretty embarrassing to be honest.

So I'm thankful this week for the practices I was able to host at my house. I'm thankful for the free computer equipment and supplies. I'm thankful I was able to drive my church friends home when that vehicle is never in the right condition...except for last night. I am thankful that I was able to get to my work assignments and get those things taken care of. I am thankful for God's timing and support with the little things and the big things.

I am thankful for praying people around me. I felt like something was off yesterday...I don't want to say. It was for another child who was at my home. Then today as the children went to their new classroom, I didn't notice but one of the youngest ones said someone ran past him and almost knocked him down the stairs. I didn't see it but I knew we needed to pray. There are people who can sense those things and if it is not of the Lord, we need to take a stand against it and pray. I am thankful that even after we prayed in the classroom, one of our church leaders came up to pray again. I am thankful that we can come to Jesus when things go wrong, when things are strange and when we don't know what to do. May the Lord be with you, keep you safe and sustain you and your household. Happy Mothers day to the moms out here. 

May-day

 Happy Sabbath,

Today was a good day, not going to complain.  I'd like to thank God for helping my aunt through a difficult time.  She went to the hospital last week and was able to get the surgery for her heart.  The value was loose and they fixed it but they didn't unblock one of her arteries. She stayed in the hospital for one day and went home. She still needs a lot of help though. Although she had heart surgery, even though she was sent home, she out I want to say the same day or next taking my cousin to get groceries and things he needed. He is 31 years old and she told me he didn't want to work with a counselor or social worker. He doesn't want to get a job or do anything to improve his life. Growing up, I did not see a disability and from what I hear the main thing that is keeping him stuck is the OCD.  He needs help too because my aunt will not be around much longer. She thinks she had a heart attack when her daughter passed away last year.  The stress of the situation really messed her up and then her grandson (her passed daughters son and brother to the 31 year old) passed away in March I believe due to a drug overdose.  Their sister is in prison for crimes committed in the community and for attempted murder of my aunt.  Their father is ill and was receiving care from his older brother before the older brother passed away.  They are also at odds and seeing how things have gone over the years, I suspect he was probably abusing them all (the dad).  So here is my aunt and my cousin who doesn't know how to live life on his own.  A lot of prayer is needed. It's so sad.  I remember years ago we would have many family get togethers (either a party at my aunt's home or my parent's house) and I remember when we'd be over to see my aunt. She was surrounded by so much family and people who seemed to love her.  Where are they now?  Where are they??  

Make Jesus first and foremost in your life.  We cannot depend on other people, we should depend on the Lord and only trust in Him.  He is able to provide and take care of these situations.  I hope that he opens his heart to Jesus and I hope that she does so as well before it is too late.  

I need to straighten up and prepare for my nap before work tonight.  I will have a bunch of people over my house tomorrow to practice some things for a church service so that will be fun.  I am thankful that I was able to have time tomorrow to mow my lawn, get rid of a lot of trash and clear out a closet I had in my guest room.  Now the guest room is accessible and clean.  I want to get something to store our bicycles and think I'll look online for an outdoor storage bag or something.  I really need to get my garage cleared out so that will be a task I can work on later this month.  My parents always want me to hold on to stuff, even the boxes when there is never a time I ever need to disassemble and put the items back in the boxes.  I am giving stuff away.  I threw away a mattress and will give a crib mattress and other things away to the goodwill.  It feels good to have more space and I'm no where near done.  So the plan is to either stop at Trader Joes or Walmart tomorrow to get snacks/food items, maybe drop off the donation stuff if the place is open, cut and wash my son's hair, and finish cleaning before everyone gets here.  

I am going to go and I hope you have a wonderful, relaxing and happy Sabbath :)

Need Prayer

Happy Sabbath,

I am at church now and am writing early because there are some issues going in.

My parents were supposed to leave early this morning to NC, but as always, something always goes wrong within the 24hrs before they leave. It's usually a malfunction of the suv or a flood in the kitchen. This time without fail, it is my aunt.

My aunt is in the hospital with an 80% heart blockage. She was scheduled for surgery on 5/15 but hopefully with her there now they will be able to do the surgery within the next few days. It's a sad situation and much more I cannot share. She and the family need prayer.Im going to the hospital after service. 

I will still be positive despite all thats going on. I had a good week. I am thankful for getting through this week and that Lord has and continues to provide for me. I have to play piano for service so I'll move forward with that. I hope you have a great Sabbath and if you are a praying person, please keep my family in prayer. 

Battle

Happy Sabbath

Not having a good time right now but God is still good. April is not the month for my son. April and October are the worst months period.

He had a tantrum at church and I ended up having to leave earlier than planned.I permitted him to bring his computer to church. He is to work on Bible movie projects with his peers and he interacts well with the other children when doing this. At one point he needed to charge it so he plugged it up and sat down with the others. A wonderful young lady was leading the class today and reading bible scriptures and I pulled out my bible, but thought it would be good for him to have his bible available in case she started asking the children to share a text. He threw the bible on the floor. Then he put it far across the table away from him. Even on the way to church he complained saying he didn't need to carry a bible and the way of this world today is technology.  I could not accept this level of disrespect to the Lord and His holy word so I said if he could not even so much as keep it on the table in front of him, he would lose his computer for the day. He said fine so I took the laptop and this lead to a tug of war matching the stairwell and more nonsense. 

As it stands now, he is not permitted to bring the laptop to church any more. Any projects he was working on with the other kids, no matter how awesome they are, are finished at this point. He can only do school work with the internet. For the rest of the time, I'm turning the internet off. He has disrespected God too much and embarrassed me and I don't have any other options.

On a positive note,  I was able to celebrate my mom's birthday Wednesday.  I also received my bloodwork back today. I was afraid of the results. I need work but it's not too bad. My blood sugar was 5.7 so I'm pre-diabetic again. I can turn that around with making healthier choices and reducing my sugar and carb intake. I can exercise and fast. I just need the will power. My lipid panel was good. My hemoglobin needs alot of work. I need to start taking iron and eating iron rich foods and I have not so my numbers are very low. My thyroid is in the lower end of good range so I have to give attention to that as well as my super low vitamin D.  I don't get enough sun. I bundle up like an Eskimo when I mow the lawn to avoid getting stung. I will have to get supplements and find time to sun bathe. I also had my dental appointment yesterday and they said I didn't need a root canal so that's good news.

So some wins and loses today. I'm going to straighten up, eat something other than teriyaki seaweed and take my nap for work tonight. 

A New Chapter

Happy Sabbath,

Today was a nice day. I had a great day at service
I practiced with the praise team and showed some children how to play a few songs on the piano. I had the largest group ever today for children's Church and had a good turn out for Sabbath school. My son worked on some new church projects with another child and I had fun playing some of the videos he helped produce. It was a busy but good day.  My pastor is going on to a new congregation so that was surprising.  We will miss him and I hope and pray that the Lord will guide our church's leadership and give us someone fit to help us accomplish the Lord's will and missions. Alot of changes and hopefully for the better.

I was off Thursday and Friday. Thursday I thought my cousin's funeral was being held but it wasn't.  I decided to stay off for that day, so homeschool with my son and get rest..His funeral was Friday and i heard they gave a great service and send off. I still can't believe he is gone and at such a young age. He named his son like he named mine. He gave him two middle names and his is King James. I hope he gives his heart to Jesus and doesn't make the same mistakes that his family has made. Friday he and I had appointments.  His went well and mine well my tooth stopped hurting. I do have an appointment scheduled for Friday next week which I am thinking of keeping. They can evaluate as to whether I need a root canal for two of my teeth. The appointment before last I was told I had three that needed repair. They said I was missing a filling but when I was checked yesterday,  this guy told me I wasn't.  So which one is it? I'm not going to pay for people to fool around with my teeth and nothing is wrong with them. I'm doing OK for now so I think I'll do the appointment next week to get the answer but will hold off until next year to make repairs. I'll probably have to pay around $300 for the two appointments of looking around my mouth only. I will also consider looking for another dentist because they should have been able to tell me what was wrong during yesterday's visit. Not wasting my time and deciding not to do anything.  They looked at xrays and video of my teeth for years and I opted not to do the work because it's so costly and my insurance is trash.  If I keep things clean I can avoid more expensive work.

I am going to straighten up and take my pre-work nap. I had a good lunch and my son had his pizza. I'll pester him for a bit and will call it a night. 

Creating Something New

Happy Sabbath

It was a good day today. I allowed my son to bring his computer to church today and he and another child started to make some really great Christian content. The children really are the future.  I was blown away initially by my son's ability to animate but I just heard a music intro he produced at church and I am absolutely shocked at what he is able to do. I look forward to seeing the things he makes for our church channel and the new talents he will develop along the way. My cousin passed away on Friday last week. I didn't find out until Sabbath when I took my son to the hospital.  My son had tried to sled down the stairs on a pillow so injuries are just assumed at that point. When we were in the pediatric ER, my mom told me about the cousin. His funeral will be Thursday next week and I plan on attending. Yesterday I saw two different hearse vehicles going around the area. Then today we had to clear out the church by 2pm because the host church was having a funeral for one of their own. I don't know what is going on. It's very strange.  Oh yeah and that earthquake.  So I am going to prepare for my work nap and make sure my son stays focused on Jesus these remaining Sabbath hours.

The world may make no sense and descend into chaos but God is good and we can trust Him to bring us through it all.

May you be blessed and have a wonderful Sabbath and weekend. 

Resurrection Weekend

Happy Sabbath

I'm not sure what's happening but I'm going to trust the Lord has it all..Happy Resurrection weekend.

I'm sitting in then pediatric waiting room of the hospital right now waiting for then to take my son down for xray. He was playing on the steps on Thursday and tried to slide down the steps with a pillow.  .....

just went gor xray and came back. When we arrived at the hospital I saw a text from my mother asking me to call her.

She told me that my cousin was found yesterday.  He was 37 years old. I don't know what happened but my thoughts immediately turn to substance abuse, that just my first guess. It's such a sad thing because he seemed to have so much promise. His mother passed away the other year from cancer. His little sister who was as sweet as syrup is currently still in prison for trying to delete my aunt (her grandmother). His little brother has OCD and I believe has a profile for being inappropriate with children.  He is not able to live or function normally on his own and he is I believe 30. The cousin who passed away was a cousin who I grew up with. There were many family get togethers and fun times. But there was darkness too. I never said this to anyone but my mother. He also was inappropriate towards me when I was a little girl. Looking back on how people were I suspected it was introduced by his father or people they had around the family when they were younger.  It was a huge source of shame for me but I was able to get over it. Many people who experience abuse never do. This cousin was also the first person in my memory to make me feel unintelligent.  He felt it necessary to make me feel so low in the presence of other cousins when I didn't even do or say anything.  The enemy will target you however it can and truly my first times of feeling unacceptable by my peer group was by him. That was an early ugly seed that grew and festered into decades of low self confidence that is still a challenge to this day.

I am so sorry he passed. I don't hold what he said or did against me. I'm sorry for his son who I met during the funeral for his mother. That little boy is his twin, absolutely adorable and so innocent. I hope his mother will be able to provide for him. There is no one on his side of the family who can help.

I heard that his father was the one who found him. He lived with him in the home he grew up in. I don't know what to say. May God be with his young son who is left behind and with his remaining siblings. May his passing be a wake up call to everyone over there. Jesus is the only answer. May the Lord give comfort to the family and provide for those in need. Jesus died so that we all could have a real chance to live and to join Him for eternity.  I don't know where my cousin's heart or mind was at when it happened, but I have to leave it to the Lord. May we even in our last moments go with Jesus. 

Keeping It Short

Happy Sabbath

Keeping it short. I had a good day and week. Glad my son's back home and we are getting school work done. I have continued decorating our home and am getting it in shape for Spring. I have to find all my docs to do my taxes.  I might do them tomorrow,  not sure but I'll get it done. I'm trying to get the last bit of interest on those funds before I have to pay the government back so I should probably wait until the first week of April.  I have no complaints. God is good. I hope you have a great day and weekend as well. :)

Time

Happy Sabbath,

My son is back home with me since Monday. I spent time updating things around the house when he was away and spent the most money on his room. He loves it and I'm glad I made the changes I did. I am still doing improvements and expect to get a new kitchen table rug and a few other things to make our home feel nicer. I thank the Lord I was able to pass mt NNA exam on Sunday. I still have access to the platform so I want to spend more time making sure I get all the files and resources I need before its no longer available.  I don't know if I will make a serious move towards being a loan signing agent. I just want to have skills that will serve as good backups for what I currently do. I am interested in learning how to do electrical work and other random things. I'll see what happens later this year.

I am going to have my late lunch and take my nap ahead of work tonight. We were supposed to meet for nursing home today but as I expected people either forgot or just decided flat out not to show up. I waited for over a half hour and about 15 min in, another faithful sister showed up and waited with us. We were supposed to start at 2:30pm. I decided to leave at 3pm because no one else came. I got a call from another church sis at 3:17pm but I had already arrived home by that time.  It's incredibly disrespectful not just to the people who were waiting but this is God's business and people continue not to take things seriously. I am no longer going to send emails to schedule when people are not committed to showing up. I asked a church leader should we still have the visit at 2:30pm and she said yes. But she along with everyone else was no where to be seen. And I would know because I always come early and sit in an area to know who is coming in and out of the parking lot. So my son and I went home. If I hear from more people that they are committed to going, then I may prepare myself but I'm not announcing to their organization that we are coming and no one shows up.

Other than that, it was a good week and good day. I am not going to waste time being negative and dwelling on these things.  The most precious thing we have is time and we need to be careful how it is utilized. 

May you have a blessed Sabbath and use your time wisely. May the Lord be with you.