Happy New Year!! 2023

Happy Sabbath,

Happy New Year?? At sunset my church will be celebrating at a location further away that I decided not to go to today. I have to work tonight and I don't like having to travel far especially on Sabbath so I opted to stay at my home church and support there. I'm glad I did or else those who were coming may not have been able to see the service live streamed from where they went. I brought my tablet. computer. chargers, jbl speaker and phone to help get things connected because I had little confidence in someone who said everything was taken care of. I was right not to have that confidence in her.

I am thankful that my son and I were there to help set up and connect. We were able to have a good Sabbath school and service went well. I also was able to get a delicious meal from another church sister before heading back home. We are supposed to be having communion today but they have fallen off with communication. It was supposed to start at 2pm but they turned the live feed off and did not connect the zoom so I will have prayer alone and take communion alone in my home.

Never did that before.

I will not complain.  I have had a great year. Free of serious issues and trouble. My family and I have been provided with everything we need. God has been so good to us. I will take some time early morning to get my plans together for 2023 and launch immediately at midnight. Midnight,  I will be at work either in an aisle reading my daily verse and devotion or sitting at the fitting room. I look forward to 2023 with Jesus and will recommit myself to Him and His mission.

Happy Sabbath and may you be tremendously blessed into 2023. Happy New Year to you!

Merry Christmas 💝

Happy Sabbath,

Keeping this short short. I'm at a Christmas program for our host church as we rent the space from them. I had an OK week. I had some challenges earlier in the week and shed some tears but made it through. Despite everything that occurred, I will continue to say God is good. I am going to tune into the program at this church...it's a methodist congregation and it's a huge change for me on Sabbath especially because I'm always going to work Saturday nights. I'm off tonight and am thankful I can spend the time out at a nice event with my son.

So with that I wish you Happy Sabbath and Merry Christmas.  

Running To Jesus

Happy Sabbath

I had a tough moment today and I'm sure more are to come. I had written a letter and am praying about giving it but I want to hear from God on the matter. I always write a letter when it is a serious matter for me. I'll leave that at that.

My son had breathing issues so I took him to the hospital Monday and called out of work for both jobs.  He still has a slight cough but has recovered well from what we initially went in for smoke inhalation and the rest of the week we suffered from the flu. My son's immune system was hit because of the smoke and he expressed feeling off and weak on Sunday. I started having chest issues about Tuesday but fought through. I went to appointments scheduled but anything from home I just took pto to rest and care for him. My mother went down as hard as my son from Monday. She is still having a hard time. I gave her a covid test yesterday and it was negative and she thankfully was able to get some meds to give her comfort. 

I am glad to be home,  warm, feeling healthier and away from the frustrations and issues of life. I thank God for that. I am thankful I have Jesus and I can talk with Him about these things. God is good. 

Firefighter

Good morning and Happy Sabbath

It is 6:27am and I woke up. I thank God I can say that. I put some socks on and headed to the bathroom to relieve myself and went to put wet items in the dryer. It is not something I normally do but I thank the Lord that I was able to. Last night, I practiced a song with my son for a concert I have to plan at church. We had dinner and after I made up questions for the children's Sabbath school, I became very tired and decided to rest in the family room which is my half converted garage. I woke up to ask my son to put some things in the sink to help me clean up. I heard him moving about doing so and not too long after it seemed...or maybe I fell back asleep, I smelled something burning.

That smell woke me up immediately.

I jumped up and rushed around the corner to find our kitchen table was on fire. My son had disobeyed me and while I was out of the room, he lit up the candelabra  that always sat in a low rectangular basket with two bath and body works candles, plate embellishments, the second TV remote he was not supposed to know about, a box of matches, and a candle snuffer. I threw water at it a couple times and each time the flames shot higher and higher.
I finally got some sense and hit the blaze with the fire extinguisher. I should have started with it the first time flames nearly hit the ceiling. From 10pm to after 1am I spent time cleaning up.

I have smoke still in my nostrils and now trapped in my lungs.  I'll take a bath and see if I can produce enough mucus to blow some of it our because my nostrils were pretty black. Smoke stained every kitchen surface, the living room, the laundry room. I thought I would have to throw away my table but I was able to separate the burned items from the top and scrape away wax to smooth it down and clean. I will need to get sandpaper or a sander to try to remove the top layer since the table was harshly branded and that burn is not restainable.

I am thankful for God waking me up in time to stop the fire. I could get out from where I was but if my son was back there, he wouldn't know and we would have a huge issue. I am thankful for my son, that he was unharmed and I could hold him and keep him safe. I am thankful for God protecting us. I thought to myself that I could save the table and experimented with other baskets to cover up the burnt areas, but I realized that I would need a table cover. I headed to the guestroom/storage room and thought I only had a red round table cover. The one I used for my former apartments.  I looked but couldn't find it. I turned off the light but decided to take one last look for at least something and just as I was about to leave, in plain view I saw something not really familiar.  I pulled it out of the bag it peeked from and it was a natural khaki colored table cloth with ruffles on the bottom. I don't remember where it came from, may have been gifted by my mom, but I thank God for helping me to find the perfect table cloth I didn't even know I had like a needle in a hay stack.

I wiped the walls, plants, ceiling, reset the table with the cloth, chargers, dishware, and base place mats I wanted a chance to use, mopped the rooms a couple times before going to bed.

Today is a brand new day and I am thankful and grateful that I can exist in it.

God is good. Praise ye the Lord!!!!

Good afternoon .....have to add on to this post. It's 1:35pm. The music program went well despite one party not being able to show up and an unexpected addition. My mother stopped by for the beginning of the program and it was a pleasure to see. I am home now to a cleaner but still smoke smelly home and I have to comment on something that happened that I did not expect.  Before we were to start, the final participant came in with what appeared to be her family. But there was someone walking with her who was very familiar and for me not a face that I'd want to see.

I am a sinner and am absolutely not perfect.  I will have to look back on a posts I made last year but I basically got involved with someone who I had no business dealing with at work. I tried to stand steadfast but eventually I allowed the person to beguile me and work their way into my life where they had no place being. The judgment and results of my behavior are fully deserved and serve as a strong reminder that I have to put my everything before God and not think I can get away with sinful behavior. 

The person who was their was friends with the person I was dealing with. It seemed everywhere I went, this friend was there. I also had a dream about him that was not good. I dreamed he was involved in a homosexual relationship with the guy I was wasting my time with. I usually don't have dreams and when I do, there is something special I have to pay attention to. I don't know if how they were in my dream is true to life but I know of my errors and that he is aware of how hypocritical I was last year.

So let this be a lesson, a warning to you to make sure that you do not present two different sides of yourself. Be the same person in all circles of life. Don't let the enemy beguile you.  Choose to do good and live always in the light. Everything will be revealed in the end or perhaps sooner than one would like. Why would you want to embarass your self and your Lord and Savior.?

If you have made poor decisions, mistakes, know you can go to Jesus always. I thank Him for His grace, HIS forgiveness, and His mercy and know that even though I have a super stupid past, I have help to have a marvelous and better future with His guidance. 

Happy December

 and Happy Sabbath.

I am back on my personal laptop that I have not touched in probably 2 if not 3 months.  It's running ok and I am thankful for that.  I had a good week.  I went to a parent teacher conference yesterday expecting to talk to the teacher about areas my son needs to work on but instead she showed me he is being invited to join the National Elementary Honor Society.  I have to complete some paperwork and his fate will be decided next week.  He is an excellent student and this has been said to me before by his kindergarten teacher who recommended he transfer to a private school with high performing students.  I don't have the money for that and felt he could still get a good education where he is so I made no moves in that direction.  If my son requests to transfer I would look into it but for now, he will remain in the current public school system.  These days information is easier to obtain and they cannot gatekeep what he needs.  I can go on skillshare, youtube, Google university. I have access to several libraries and rub shoulders with teachers, principals and other educated people who are only a phone call or door knock away so don't ever see that to be an issue.  I need to make sure he is doing what he ought to be doing at school and taking up some extracurricular activities at home that will help him increase his skills and flourish. He is really into animation, typing, loves math, and wants to play piano.  He spends a lot of time gaming too and watching videos on how to develop games and studying languages like Russian and Spanish.  He is nine years old.  I wanted to find a program to make it easier for me to animate after my macbook went out of commission and I was surprised when we were on a long car ride back home, here he was over to my right creating content on an old phone I had given him. He made several animations, added timely voiceovers and processed the entire thing and it was enjoyable and educational to watch and surprising that he possessed such skills. I need him to train me on the program.  

God is good. He has blessed me with my awesome son and a great family who loves and supports what he and I do. I say this week to week but I am thankful for my career and my part time job.  I am thankful for the blessings the Lord has given me.  It is December and alot is coming up. I have to finish planning a winter concert, a cantata if you will for next week.  There are banquets, children's events and other things going on.  It's going to be very busy but fun.  

I'm going to sign off now but so far December is off to a great start.  Happy Sabbath :)

Thankful Thanksgiving

Happy Sabbath,

I had a great day and good week. Thanksgiving was nice and I was able to spend a few hours with my family.  Don't purchase lamb breast. It's a total scam. I made lamb breast last year and my family loved it but did tell me there was still alot of fat. This year I purchased two racks of lamb breast and cooked them from 1:20pm till about 8pm at 300 degrees Fahrenheit.. I poured off sooo much fat but was uncertain how much more remained. One I did with traditional Thanksgiving seasonings such as rosemary, thyme, and fresh sage from my garden. The other I omitted sage and rosemary and instead added half a stick of butter,  honey, and a blend of Georgian seasonings courtesy of Trader Joe's. Each received a healthy dose of garlic. I had already put the honey one in the oven so I didn't pull it out to hit it with some lemon zest. My mother tried both and said they were each delicious but I was dismayed to see her pull apart slabs of what I soon realized to be fat just to find only two small sandwich bags of meat.

$25-$30 for a handful of meat? Shame on you Walmart.  I will do chicken, veal, salmon or quail moving forward I was so disappointed. 

My mother prepared three vegan items for me to enjoy and I am thankful that she thinks about me during these events because if it were left up to everyone else, I'd be having a plain salad and cotton balls.

The food was good. The company was good. The week was productive and uneventful.  I have taught my son how to cook roti/parantha/buss up shut and now he calls himself a "cookist". Never thought I would hear such a thing. He is doing well and healthy and I am just thankful. 

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving.  Keeping one of my clients in prayer. She has a terrible seizure disorder and her mother is really having a hard time helping her through it all. She is non verbal and needs arm in arm support to get around safely.  Then there's my church sis who is in a similar boat only she is busy and accomplished but her seizures knock her off her game at the worst times.  If you have a prayer list and would consider adding them I thank you so much. More prayer, more power. May you be blessed and have a wonder Sabbath and week. 

Back Home

Happy Sabbath

I was able to return to work this week without too many issues.  I stocked up on things I needed and goodies from Walmart and the Asian supermarket.  I am thankful that a manager told me about another way I could take time off because I ended up having to call out of work due to my son having severe stomach pain. I think he just ate too much bread at one time and was constipated. I took off work from my full time Friday because of state wide issues accessing the site we rely on. I couldn't reach anyone that early in the morning to offer a bypass so instead of dragging out my day further than I would want, I took pto. I was able to go to church and work with the children.  I also did well for the service except when a photographer came up and I got nervous and blanked out. I had thought he was going to join in on the song using the organ behind me. Then he came up next to me and I thought he had a question before realizing he was a photographer.  I couldn't help but laugh when I messed up but had to finish the song.

I would have stayed longer after service but my son didn't want to have to put up with the bullying attitude of another child there and as much as we work with her, I understood it was too much for him today. I also had to see about other things so we left after I played a few songs on the piano at end of service. 

It's been a good week. I cleaned up my plant gallery, hung up some nice frames I got from a thrift store and I am planning on painting a portrait of my son to go in the larger frame that replaced the 3rd art I had up there before.  I think I will start that project tomorrow. 

I am home and thankful for my family,  career, job, and even the peacocks that continue to grace me with their beautiful presence each day. I love my home and the God who made all of this possible. 

Happy Sabbath 

Trip Continued

Happy Sabbath

I am at our vacation home and have been here since early Wednesday morning. We will be leaving early in the morning tomorrow (God willing). We were supposed to leave Friday for here but they were unable to start the truck so the plan was abandoned. Immediately afterwards, my son and I stayed home for Sabbath because he was not feeling well. He struggled throughout the entire day and when I was going to get up and go to bed he asked to go to the hospital.  We went to the hospital and without doing any actual tests they diagnosed him with RSV and went us back home without any relief. He had a hard time Sunday and really all week. Tuesday we heard of how to fix the truck and they pointed out a reset button. My mother called me in the afternoon when I was about to start a load of laundry and next thing I knew, we were racing to repack and get over to their house to ride the 8-10hr trip to our vacation home.

We made it at 2am. We found a bunch of crickets and a dead sparrow on a trap in the bathroom but we were happy to arrive safely.

It has been very relaxing here. I was able to go on zoom and watch service presented by the children today and that was extra special. They did such a wonderful job. My son and I did Sabbath school trivia yesterday and this morning. I am still trying to figure out how to keep him on track. He just seems determined to be disobedient and have his own way. He is comprehending and remembering lessons but it's the applying those lessons to everyday life is the challenge for me as a parent over him. I am going to check on him in a moment but I wanted to come o. here and share the good news that we made it down here and so far have had a great time.

God is good. May you enjoy the Sabbath day and continue to grow closer in your walk with the Lord. 

Trip Deferred

Happy Sabbath

My son, parents and I would have been at our vacation home by now but things did not go as we expected.  I sat in my suv and waited for my parents to back out of their driveway. I was to then park my vehicle in their spot, get in with them and we would take off for our 8-10 hr journey down the road and a piece. I then saw my mother exit the vehicle and go back into the house which made me think I should go back in quickly to try to use the potty one last time before we left. I entered the house to find her upset searching for a special key and remote.

When they were down there before there were issues with the truck so my dad got a remote and key that was to help override the system to get the vehicle to start. He had been driving the vehicle for weeks with no issue but the moment we expected to go for a vacation that was planned months in advance, the vehicle would not start. My mother prayed and I went to a bag that was an unlikely place but went through the tools and tissues and trash of it to find the key we had been looking for.

We get the key but the vehicle still would not start. We tried charging the battery. I went on YouTube and disabled the auto lock system as my dad thought that might allow him to get to the root of the issue but to no avail. Finally AAA was called out and they claimed it was an alternator issue.

I took my son home before AAA came there 2.5 hrs late and he started coughing.  Now this morning into the afternoon he has been coughing and having issues since being home. I'm doing medicines every few hours, baked him a cake, and have him hauled up in his room to rest and get over this sickness he is experiencing.  There was no way I was going to take him to church like this, we weren't even supposed to be here.

I don't know why everything happened the way it had but God has His reasons and we have to be still. We had vehicles break down in preparation before and even on the way. They were stranded before in Maryland. I was stranded with them in Virginia. It seems every time they try to go to the vacation home, something happens.

My dad just brought over my son's nebulizer that was packed in their vehicle. He is going through a treatment and I am doing what I can to keep us from having to go to the hospital.  If he goes they will just give the same meds he has been on all day. I do think the nebulizer is helping though.

So I am giving this trip into God's hands. My mother is surely upset right now as is my son. We have so much work to do and we are losing time on it but if it is God's will, then we will make it there sometime next week.

For now, I will rest and enjoy the Sabbath at home with my son, which is a billion times better than being stuck on the road.

Happy Sabbath.

The Final Countdown

 Happy Sabbath

I was not able to go to church today. My son started feeling sick yesterday morning and I had hoped he would stay in school until the hour I would have to go get him out early for his and my vision appointments.  The school nurse called about an hour into the school session and asked for me to come pick him up.  Thankfully I was incorrect with planning my second visit for one of my clients because it allowed me to head back to town earlier and get him.  After I brought him home and finished my service notes for work, we went to our vision appointments. We had not done this since 2018 (shame on me).  He lost his two pairs of glasses and only recently started complaining that he couldn't see at school. I have kept my pair since we first got them and they are so old and run down, we both desperately need new pairs.  We did the exam and both of us had worse vision and were provided with new scripts.  I decided to stick around and check out their optical shop and purchased two pairs of glasses for him and one for myself. There was a pair of kate spade sun glasses that would have been fantastic but I was not willing to spend $600 that day in total for everything so I just settled the one pair that is half rimless.  I was surprised that my doctor's vision was worse than mine.  She was wearing contacts and was able to do a good job on both of us.  I brought my son home after the vision session and he went in to eat and rest while I cut the lawn, raked leaves, and pulled up the gazebo cover.  The only thing left I really need to do is get a tarp for the bikes (I'm not storing them in the house any more) and to look for something to protect my magnolia tree.  

Thursday was my birthday.  I am 39 now.  That means I have one more year before I reach the hill and then everything falls down and sags from there.  I want to make the most out of this year before I hit that number and I am making some big changes financially, with my health, time, and focus.  By the time I hit 40, I want to be a ninja capable of being an extra in the Woman King, hair flowing and defined, successful, strong, waist snatched, and quadra-lingual, running another business, mortgage 25-50% paid off, thriving youtube channels, winning the best mom awards left and right, and having completed my secret garden in my back yard and redone my home interior to feel like a palace around the corner from Versailles.  This list is not complete of course.  I am trying some new things and hopefully by 40 I will be pleased with the end result...and my son will not be embarrassed.  He knows I'm good for it.  

I am thankful for another year of life.  I am thankful for my family and even though I try to keep special things under the radar such as my birthday, I am thankful that they cared enough to try to celebrate with me.  I am used to being forgotten  and putting everyone else first.  I don't want to take the time to have people get into my business and present all this kindness towards me only for them to instantly forget me and not come with the same energy the next year.  That has happened too many times to me.  It is not hard to remember other people.  People just choose not to and I have stopped allowing people to do that to me. People do it because they expect something in return and once they get what they want, their minds only stay on themselves. I am content being able to celebrate myself in secret and still celebrate others. I'm not giving people a chance to disappoint or hurt me by keeping certain things to myself.  The only one who will not do this is Jesus and I thank Him for being who He is.  

I had a wonderful birthday.  I had a mini celebration at my parents' home.  I left to bake myself some fancy mini square cakes (banana with pudding filling).  I decided to save money and make up a burrito bowl dinner instead of go to Chipotle and pay that premium.  I prepared my sofritas, corn salsa, and other things from scratch and ate biscoff cookies before going off to the movie theatre and enjoying a film with popcorn and slushie.  I picked up my son, ordered him KFC and went home to have my cake and my delicious Chipotle inspired meal.  I started planning my 39th year in my new journal and enjoyed the rest of the evening.  

I had a good week.  It is 3:15pm right now so I am going to go check on my son.  He is feeling better and playing in his room.  I am thankful for an extra period where I could rest.  I'm always running some where, be it church or work and I was able to sleep in longer.  My son was not doing well this morning but thanks be to God he is pretty much back to his normal self this afternoon.  

God is good.  Happy Sabbath :)

In Less Than a Week

 Happy Sabbath

My birthday is coming up.  It will be my final year in my 30's and then I will be...middle aged. An official old lady.  Everybody's auntie.  

I am trying to hold that off as long as I can.  On a more positive note, I had a good week.  I was able to attend my cousin's funeral yesterday and speak during the first part of it.  It was so good to see the people who came in support of her. She was such a wonderful person and her joy, her love and kindness really touched so many.  I learned that I have a cousin from DC who is a pastor and he gave such a touching eulogy.  And then I listened to my church brother today give another perfect message.  God is using people today and I am happy to see all these things in motion.  My mom had another procedure done to check on her GI condition and so far, results came back ok. There was a part of her duodenum they could not examine thoroughly but for now, there is no bad news.  

I have no complaints.  God is good.  I will prepare for a healthy final week of my 38th year and for my birthday, may go to see a movie or relax at home? Mow the lawn? I dunno.  I will see what it is when and if I reach that day.  

I hope that you are having a happy Sabbath and that you too will have a blessed and wonderful week. :)

In a New Place

 Happy Sabbath,

I had a great day today with my church family and hope that you are enjoying this day as well, no matter what time it is.  We had to worship in a different area of the building due to two other events occurring at the same time. It was good to see new faces and familiar ones who I have not seen in a while.  I am thankful for the items I had to bring and set up for service as it helped things to go pretty well by having them.  Next week, we should be back in the sanctuary as we have done since starting at this new building.  I am making connections with other church members who are musicians so I am able to get more people on board with supporting the service in song/music.  My week for my primary job went well. I was able to get repairs done to both vehicles and I am feeling more confident being on the road.  My suv was said to have some issues but I'll deal with that later on. I am happy so far with the new mechanic my parents put me on to. They get the work done in good time, seem honest and have good pricing for major repairs.  

I had to go to a meeting yesterday for one of my clients and happened to tell my mom the town I was going to.  My mom then told me that my aunt, one I stopped dealing with lived in that town. Then she told me the address and I laughed because not only do I see another client in the same apartment complex but the meeting that was scheduled for yesterday was in a building that is directly next to that very complex.  I decided to drive over to her home first and attempted to drop off a gift for her but she was not home so she directed me to drop it off at my cousin's house which is a block over from the church I used to attend. 

The church that I ran away from because of poor decisions I made in my past.  I didn't go down that street because I'm almost certain someone I probably might know would be outside and see me.  I loved that church and I hope that they are doing well, but I cannot return.  If it were not for the decisions I made, I'd probably still be there and living in that community.  The past is the past and I have to let that go.  I am in a new place and thankful to be here and serving the Lord in this capacity.  

God is good, loving and forgiving.  We are in a messed up polluted world and we may have even been the people messing it up and polluting it, but it is good to know that there is a God in heaven and Jesus who wants us to be saved.  If you are dealing with a similar situation where you made some bad choices, mistakes even, go to God and He will help you.  He will make you new and set you in a new place.  Once He puts you there, Stay there!  

Happy Sabbath and may you have a blessed weekend :)

Attitude of Thankfulness

Happy Sabbath,

Keeping this brief. I had a good week and am blessed to have gotten through unscathed. My cousin passed away yesterday so that adds another negative note to a month I don't care much for. She was the baby of my aunt's daughters and passed away from stage 4 cancer that had spread all throughout her body. I am thankful that she no longer has to suffer and that we had an opportunity to say goodbye to her..I don't know how hard my mother's side of the family is taking it but my prayers are with them.

I was able to get a new windshield and starter my dad purchased installed on my suv..They gave me new wiper blades and I was able to get that back yesterday. I have to get a new tire for it and will turn in my other vehicle to get the transmission worked on. I am thankful I have the means to do these things. I have several pet peeves. My first is bikers riding dangerously and without care in the roadway, slowing my car down. The second is when people waste my time. My dad wasted my time taking me to Sam's club saying he would purchase a new tire but then he backed out and told me not to go there with no good reason. I would probably still be waiting on him to get things taken care of and both vehicles would be out of commission by next week. Same for the windshield and much more. I decided to use ride shares to get to and from the auto repair shops to handle business. I don't want to inconvenience them asking for help and I don't want them to inconvenience me waiting on them to come through with things they are not even. sure about themselves. My mom said to call them..I am no longer doing that. They are elderly and need to rest and not worry about my problems. So please pray for me for the transmission charges that will come. I will have to cut back spending. I do not want credit card debt and am doing my best to keep all of that at bay.

I am going to take my nap earlier today so I'll get off of here, but I am thankful for the funds to handle business, my family,  and for the Lord's blessings in my life.

God is good. 

5pm

 Happy Sabbath,

I am getting to this blog a bit late.  I was able to worship with my church family in person for the second time since the pandemic started and it was a good experience.  I had thought I would be annoyed by things not going as planned but today was not a bad day.  My son sang a song for the service and I brought everything we needed to make sure the children's parts went well, that people in my class were connected and able to participate and that I could do what I needed to for the musical portion of the service.  I'm not crazy about their piano.  It's much quieter than ones I've used in other churches.  I will fine tune things by next week but I am thankful that I was able to come out and use my gifts for the Lord.  I took a look at a youtube channel I started at the start of the pandemic and was surprised to see that people are still going on and viewing videos.  One video had 3.4k views.  That was completely unexpected.  I look forward to trying some new things musically with the children now that I have them in the same space and hope that we can put out content that will not only keep them in a mind of reverence for the Lord during the Sabbath but also touch the hearts of new viewers so that they will worship the Lord and be encouraged to follow Him more closely.  I have to take my nap for work tonight.  Good week, good Sabbath, great day!

BP

 Happy Sabbath

I am having a good quiet and comfortable day at home.  My church had an event Sunday that I was able to help out with.  I went about helping with the set up and when I returned with some more items for one of the vendors, I met my parents at the area where they were administering covid vaccinations. Before I was to sit down and get the booster I decided to have my blood pressure checked. My pressure has historically been high and mainly so because I don't consistently take my medication and I like my food to taste like something.  I sat down as my dad was getting his booster on the other end of the table and they told be a reading they were greatly concerned about.  They were so concerned, they said that I should go to the ER.  Of course I declined that and decided to go home and try to rest for a bit and take that medicine that I never take.  I went home and took a nap for about 2-3 hours before heading back out to try to assist with packing things up.  The people who did the vaccines were gone but there was another table by another medical team that was still doing blood pressure. I had my pressure checked again and it was incredibly higher than before. The people who knew what was going on refused to allow me to carry anything, packed my car with my belongings and sent me on my way. I went home and tried hard to rest more as I had more anxiety around what was going on. My dad went an purchased an automatic blood pressure reader and I have been trying to limit my sodium intake and take my medications to control the BP. So far my numbers are looking good and I am thankful for the opportunity to check my BP and see how bad it really was. 

When I had my fourth covid booster shot, I believe I developed a rash or hives the very next day and it stayed with me for a few days.  It is so hard for me to take medicine and so when my mom presented me with two benadyl pills with no box providing directions and her straight away telling me to take it, I took both trusting her judgment.  Later that day I struggled to keep focused on my work and it took everything out of me to just post three service notes.  I had to retire for the night and the next morning I still was not feeling right so I worked from 4:30am to 6:30am and took off for the rest of the day. I spent the day cleaning up around the house, watching tv and dancing.  When I had tried to check notes early that morning I saw I was writing stuff in the system and clearly not in my right mind so I have to go in and fix the notes which I can do Monday.  I thought it was burn out but it was actually due to Benadryl I took. I never had such an effect in my life and don't want that to happen again.  I took it while being sleep deprived and felt like I was having an anxiety attack. 

So my week has been focused on my health and trying not to stress out.  Today, plans at church were very different mainly because of the lack of communication from church members leading out service. I'm sure they were disappointed that I did not jump out of my house and race over in my car to meet and support them but I am not going to be doing such things any more.  I am not putting my health or my son's health and safety at risk.  I talked to my son and continue to talk to him about things he needs to be aware of.  We will be worshipping in out new location next week and I look forward to it but I am not going to throw caution to the wind.  There are many great and kind people but only God truly has our backs.  I thank God for keeping my son and I through this week, helping me with my blood pressure and for what He will do at this new church location we will worship at.  There is much around to discourage and CONFUSE us and others but I don't have time for that.  May the Lord shut all of that mess down. May His purpose and goals be realized and Name be glorified through our obedience, persistence and growing faith.

Christ and Only Christ

 Happy Sabbath

Some things happened this week that got me feeling down.  My cousin is dealing with a terrible situation which I cannot speak much on this platform. I pray for restoration and reconnection to be made in all of that and for the health and safety of the victim to be secured.  

My other cousin who has cancer needs so much and is slowly getting services/supports in place.  For what is working I thank God for it, but her situation still needs much prayer.

I am thankful that my mom received a clean bill of health. She was concerned about possible cancer for her but no issues were detected so I know she is relieved.

My work schedule is affected because we picked the wrong dates for vacation and I still have points on my record that I expected to be removed due to an approved LOA.  I will try to check again later this evening but my status continues to remain in jeopardy and the upcoming vacation we had set up months ago might not happen.

This at church, things at work, many things not working out and falling apart.  

I partially listened to the sermon today but I was annoyed and bothered by other things that were going on.  I won't go into detail for those things either but I have decicded that I am no longer going to sing for service.  I will try to help out with things where I can, but I am not going to try to be something I am not and do things that I lack the skill have no strength to do.  I am content operating in the background and am trying to get back to that space because that way, I won't have people having such high expectations and then tossing me aside when greater and better comes along.  I attended a meeting yesterday and there were decisions made and a comment was made by the pastor which he immediately followed with the words to me, no offense. But I am offended.  I'm offended but I'll get over it.  I am not chosen for certain tasks.  I don't want it to be highlighted for everyone that I am not selected. 

People say they prayed for a pianist and I came a week later.  I didn't pray about that but they say they are certain I was an answer to their prayers.  With that, I will simply be a pianist, do what I am supposed to do and stay in my lane.   

Back to the situation with my cousin, I shared a situation in desperation searching for help and equally prayer for his situation but only one person said they would pray about the situation.  No one else responded.  No one said anything and that tends to happen.  When I am dealing with or my family is dealing with something devastating, there are crickets but there are trumpets for everyone else.  I don't know why that is, but the one thing I know is I have one good friend I can go to.  My supervisor called me and I was in the middle of dealing with my cousin's crisis.  Can you believe my supervisor laughed?  I get that people are racist and don't care but I didn't expect her to chuckle at the predicament. 

I have one good friend and I am thankful that He is my friend.  As I go through these things I am trying to help my son to see that we both have the same friend and that he needs to go to Him too.  It is a shame one cannot rely on anyone in the nuclear family, so called friends, or even church/community members who make all these pledges and vows to help those in need.  Trust in God.  People will fail you, disappoint, and abandon you.  People will discount and discard you.  They will forget you and they may even betray you.  I tried telling my son some things and he I guess was too upset to hear so he didn't want to hear any more and that's ok.  People are terrible but God is so wonderful.  I hope and pray that you strengthen your relationship with Jesus.  He really is the only one we can go to and our one and only true friend.  I don't believe in alot of things people talk about as far as relationships in this life. Those things fail and you'll end up with rope burn, rashes, bruises, and an empty fridge or some other random nonsense, but with God, you can trust Him with your entire life.  Be His friend. Spend time with Him and no matter what happens to you and to me, it must be Christ and Only Christ.  

Be blessed and go with God today :)

Back to School

 Happy Sabbath :)

Keeping this short.  I had a good week and saw some different things happen and am glad to see and know that the Lord is very present and still moving in my life and the lives of those I care about around me.  My son had to go back to school on Wednesday and the evening before I decided I needed to do a special prayer for him before he goes.  I went on to pray that prayer and asked for the Holy Spirit to be with my son in his journey through the 4th grade and as I prayed, I noticed a bright light was in front of my face while my eyes were closed. I assumed my son was playing around with a flashlight or something he had but didn't stop to reprimand him and continued to pray. When I opened my eyes, things were as normal and I spoke about the flashlight to which point my son responded that he didn't have one and was confused about what I was asking about.  There was no flashlight.  

I have been watching testinonies from various people about how they came to Christ and heard heart breaking stories of struggle and years of terrible decisions they have made or others made towards them.  Since watching them I have been encouraged by what I have heard. Some testimonies were a bit out there but I enjoy seeing how the Lord is able to reach people who seem even the most unreachable.  

At this moment, my church sis is leading an initiative to reach people out in the community. I pray that this will be a success and more members will participate to assist. I had said I would go but then I saw the time that everyone was expected to meet.  I have to work tonight and I always shut down by 4pm for other events.  It is 4:38pm right now and I'm late in getting to bed to take my nap for work tonight.  She called me and wondered where I was and told her why I didn't show but recall hearing others were going to show so I do hope they come out.  Few in number or many, may their effort be blessed by the Lord and may many souls be reached as a result.  

My son is healthy and doing well. My family is doing better and my son participated in his first communion service today.  I am looking forward to doing more and helping/seeing my son grow in the Lord and increasing my commitment to God.

Happy Sabbath and have a great weekend :)

Labor Day Blessings

Happy Sabbath and Good afternoon

Challenging week this week but I am thankful that the Lord brought me through it. My son started out with great difficulty and I ended up having to take away privileges. The enemy tried to use that as an opportunity to turn us against each other even more but I am glad to say things are improving between my son and I and we are doing better. We have bonded more on some things and are having better quality time together. I took things away from him after he was disobedient and caused harm to someone else. The enemy decided to use his wackiness to put a video on my YouTube feed to attempt at influencing my son for evil but that was shut down right quick. We have to watch our children and make sure the content they are consuming is safe. Any moment the switch can be flipped and they are under constant attack. I am doing what I can to help my son live a righteous life and do what is right under the sight of the Lord.

I am thankful for this vacation I can take. I cancelled a trip I intended for this weekend due to his behavior and think it is the best to do seeing as that costs are higher and we don't need to be out in crowds throwing our money down then drain.  I lived that life hard last year. The funds that I could throw into entertainment now are going to investments and improving what we have. I could have been so much further ahead had I not lost my mind on shopping sprees and NYC. I am much happier spending my time at home and with my son.  We can go bike riding, walk through the park, picnic in the backyard and so much more closer to home.

Please keep us in prayer. I hope that you will have a blessed labor day weekend if you celebrate and have time off. Happy Sabbath to you. 

Fixing My Focus on Jesus

It is 12:03pm. I am on break and listening to the song you are the sunshine in my life sung by the Clark sisters. The store never plays gospel music. Actually, the store never has the music on overnight. We have to bring our own music. Some listen with earbuds and others with their phones blasting their ratchet music. Right before this I was watching someone who has the most scandalous story times for herself and for her subscribers. I shouldn't be watching this mess. I heard her story about being inappropriate with someone of the same gender and as I was listening and moving through the store doing my work I also noticed a clearly homosexual manager moving often near my area. Clearly this is the enemy trying to influence me. I am thankful for the song that played over the speaker a moment ago to set me straight. Just because I like how she tells stories does not make it OK for me to continue listening in on things that are clearly sin and really everything she talks about involves it. So I have to let that channel go. My break is nearly over but I just wanted to share this. The enemy is always out here trying it. Be aware of what you are looking at and careful of the things you consume. I have alot of work to do on myself. If you pray for me, pray that I have more discernment and awareness and that I remain committed to Jesus. I was baptized on September 1st in 2007. I need to recommit myself again and release the nonsense.  

Challenging Times

 Happy Sabbath

I am having some trouble with my son respecting authority and need prayer for this.  He thinks that I am on par with his friends from school or other peers and he is getting some awakenings he is not ready for.  Despite this and actions that I have taken for something else unrelated, I have to still say that God is good.  I don't deserve His mercy and covering.  I don't deserve Him to carry me through these issues.  The war is on in so many parts of my life from home, church, and even at work.  I have to remember to check my armour and make sure that I have it on, not simply near by because I am making mistakes that I shouldn't be making.  May God be with you into the new week and make sure you step into this evening and into tomorrow prepared because we have a while to battle this out.  Keep your armour on.  Keep the faith and no matter what, even if you sin, know with every breath you have moving forward, repent and seek God.  Keep His commandments and love the Lord your God because this is the whole duty of man.  This is man's all and all that we need to be concerned about. 

Happy Sabbath again :)

Happy August

 and Happy Sabbath

This month is quickly drawing to a close and I am thankful for a great month so far and the things the Lord is doing in my life.  Yes, my son is mis behaving and trying me but even in this moment I choose to remain thankful and stay positive.  

So I don't have COVID but am not absolutely certain if I didn't have it.  In order to get my leave of absence approved, I have to have forms filled out by my doctor so I will see about that next week if possible.  I have a lingering annoying cough that I am trying to get rid of.  Today I was back online with my church family and able to sing and play piano as I used to.  I did have to cough but it was not as bad as I expected it to be.  

I had a heart to heart with my son this morning and talked to him about God and how the Holy Spirit has been present in my life and gave him some true life examples.  Something that happened this week also included the Holy Spirit.  Thursday, I had a long day at work.  My sister from the west coast came in that afternoon and after I returned from my appointments I stopped to get my son, greet her, returned back home and went on to finish my notes and referrals for the day.  As soon as I finished, I was delirious and decided to lay down for a little bit.  I had so much undone but was too tired to even do anything about it or even look out for peacock who often comes by twice a day to get his bird seed. Peacock (aka Pierre) has also encouraged Pedro and their weird cousin/brother peacock bro to come over to my yard. I can tell them apart by Pierre being the smaller but most comfortable around me (so much so he nearly could eat out of my hand, he lets me be that close to him), Pedro who loses everything when I so much as blink or cough in his direction and he takes flight, and the opportunistic cousin who may have had his feathers cut off with scissors (he has a perfectly even cut straight across the back so I believe he has had more contact with people than anyone.  He was not afraid of me when I put food out and he is much bigger than Pierre.  I mainly only see Pierre though and this thursday, I didn't see him in the morning before I left out for my appointments or the afternoon.  

I headed to my room to lay down and set the alarm and saw my phone light up with a call from a church sister.  I was so tired I told myself I would absolutely not take any calls or answer any, I didn't care what it was for. I ignored her call and set about trying to get a one hour alarm in the phone set up but the sound was not working.  I was confused and felt it had something to do with my church sister calling but I was determined to lay down. I had bought a back up alarm clock in the event my phone starts acting strange like it was that moment.  I set the back up alarm clock and went ahead to lay down.  That was about 6:50pm thursday night.  Friday, I did my work and finished my stuff by 11am.  I decided to mow the lawn, water the plants and set up chairs and a blanket under the crab apple tree so I could relax and read a magazine between my newly planted rose bushes in the shade.  I noticed a texted on my phone talking about a tour of our new church and believed they were talking about it occurring Friday. At first I said I wouldn't go and almost didnt go by my parent's house to attempt to spend time with my sister.  My sister from the west coast is very narcissistic but she seems to enjoy my son and my son wants to spend time with her.  I decided to try to let mess go and spend time with her but she is on pacific time and has a tough corporate job and had to do work while we were there so even though I stayed for many hours, she was still working very late. 

When I got there, I was surprised that my parents went straight to asking me about how church was going and what we were doing up at the church.  This is not a normal question they ask and I had glanced at the text message about us doing a tour so I felt it was okay at that time to share that we had a new place.  I had changed my mind about the tour and decided I was going to go since we were out close to the area anyway.  I sat and did a singing session with my mother and we sang gospel songs.  She has always had a beautiful singing voice but she doubts herself now because of a change due to thyroid surgery.  I ended up leaving with my son to find the church and as we sat and the clock struck 7pm, I looked down and noticed the date of the text about the tour.  It said Thursday, 8/18, not friday.  The tour occurred the day before.  It wasn't until later I realized that everything that happened when I was trying to go to sleep, my church sis calling me, my cell phone alarm refusing to set and work at 6:50pm, I believe it was the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention so that I could go with my son to do the tour.

To be honest, feeling the way I was feeling, I don't know if I can say if I knew the Holy Spirit was trying to get my attention that I would have immediately jumped up and headed to the address they gave.  I thought the church was actually another building but it was at building that I remember in my earliest memories that my parents took my sister and I to in search for a Christian school when we were children.  My parents decided not to send us there.  At this time, a spanish day care runs out of that side.  They are open to our congregation and I am excited about what we will be able to do in this new space.  It's a great location and I look forward to worshiping in person with everyone again.  

My son expressed his fears about the spiritual world and things that have been bothering him and I took time to talk to him about the power and love of God as well as the Holy Spirit's work in my life.  I often don't offer commentary when in Sabbath school but I was impressed to speak on what just happened to the church as an example.  God also used one of my church brethren to share an important message today.  

Know that you are never alone.  We are thrown all sorts of things and what was spoken about hit me on so many levels from the person who delivered the message today for service.  He was hit with tragedy and my family  is going through something eerily similar but no matter what it is, continue to trust and seek God.  Trust in Jesus.  Look up to Him.  My cousin likely has stage 4 cancer too. She has lung cancer and it spread all over her body and is affecting her knees and other parts.  Her son who she has cared for got into trouble years ago. A type of trouble that if I were to speak on, many would say his actions are absolutely unforgiveable.  There is much going on with that side of the family and I purposely do not want my son to be near it because he will be damaged by it.  Every family has their dark secrets and troubled past and present but no matter what evil people have done, no matter how deep the muck we are standing in, the Lord sees us and He loves and wants to save us, to save you.  

The Holy Spirit is here with us.  He is your Comforter.  He will lead you into all truth.  He will guide and protect you.  I have known Him as One who has revealed truth in some crazy situations.  I have known Him to guide me towards the right path.  He has alerted me to things I forgot and has my back even when I don't deserve Him.  I have seen His work and am thankful that He is here.  May the Holy Spirit be with you the reader and may you be blessed and never ignore His calling and direction.  I don't want another thursday to happen again.  I don't want another time when He speaks through someone at church and I ignore the warnings.  I ignored last year and pretty much was knocked flat on my backside and it was my own doing.  Do not ignore God.  

May you be encouraged and blessed.  Isaiah 43:5

Or Maybe Not

 Happy Sabbath

I am feeling better this week.  I took off work after being told by my employer that I had to so I did.  Friday I was scheduled to take a COVID test at a pharmacy so that I could get clear electronic results I could submit to work.  I don't know how I did this but somehow I had the wrong time in my head and arrived 30 min late, but I was able to get a test done.  I was disappointed to hear that I would have to wait 2 days to get my results. I had told my part time that I would be getting the test Friday and had hoped to submit results by then.  I came home and decided to take one of the at home COVID rapid tests and it was not long until I saw the line show up on the letter C again.  Surely that means I still have covid right?  I thought about giving my son a test but something made me pull out the instruction packet and look at it more thoroughly this time.

See the first time I took the test, I was on my parent's front porch with teary eyes and runny nose trying to make sure I followed the instructions to a T.  No pun intended but it was that T that I was missing if any of you have gone through the process of doing your own test.  I saw the solid line on the C line and was convinced I was a positive COVID case.  I had all the symptoms from the severe sore throat, fever, cough and even loss of taste and sense of smell.  I had something almost like chills and lethargy.  I went through a lot so I know it wasn't all in my head.  

When I did the rapid test the second time, I made sure to get the stick all the way up in my nose and get all the mucus and anything that my be clinging in my nasal passages.  I turned the papers around and looked for how to know if you have a positive test.  There it was on the back of the instruction manual.  A single line at C alone means negative. If you have a line for C and a line for T, then it is a positive case.  If it is T alone, the test may be faulty.  

I don't know still if I even had COVID. Going off of the results of the first test and yesterday's test, that tells me I never had it, but why did I feel so awful?  I am still dealing with remants of a cough and took medicine for the first time today in an attempt to try to stop the cough.  I am terrible when it comes to medicine.  Medicine will sit in my fridge until it evaporates (it has done so many times).  I prefer for my body to do what God designed it to do and fight the illnesses/issues plaguing me.  The fevers, cough, sneezing, all of that has a reason (to expel what is creating issues in your body).  

I was so convinced I had COVID, I dropped groceries in the store and left. I held my breath passing people with masks on for fear of spreading this to them.  I have stayed home and stayed away from loved ones.  I had a lot of uncertainty and concern that things were going to get worse for more people than myself and here it is quite possible that I didn't even have it?  What is worst of all, I told my jobs I had it.  I have been off work for a week from my part time and they don''t play with fake reports.  When I took my first test, I didn't think about taking a photograph of the test.  If I did take a photo and send it in, anyone familiar with the test would have called me a liar.  I could potentially lose my job for false reporting.  I still don't know.  I am waiting for my results from the pharmacy to come in.  If they come in by 5pm today I will move accordingly (if negative, I will report to work but if positive, I will continue calling out).  I just hope that I don't lose my job as they have not approved my leave of absence yet for this.  If they approve my leave, they will take my time off saved up which I set up for October.  I will have no emergency time left for emergencies as a result of all of this.  I started to not say anything at work about being sick and I wish I didn't because I would not be dealing with all of this.  

I hope I can go back to work and begin accruing vacation time again.  I hope that I don't get sick again from what ever.  I wish I read the instructions more clearly and if I did, I wouldn't be in all this and the fault is squarely on my shoulders.  God knows my heart and I wanted to do the right thing.  Please pray that everything goes according to His will and that I am able to come through all this in the end. 

With this I am going to give some attention to my son who is making a mess and needs to stop.  I will wait for 5pm and check results and if no results come, I will call out.  I thought I had COVID but really it is a maybe not moment. 

Covid and the Creek

Happy Sabbath,

I am at the park with my son trying to get fresh air. We both tested positive for Covid and this is the reason why I didn't attend service last week.  My throat was so sore I couldn't sing and now I'm dealing with a headache that keeps coming back.

I will not complain though. I am able to sit here by the creek and listen to the water lap along the shore..Periodically we get big waves that cause my son to retreat. The Sabbath is to be a delight.  I want him to enjoy the Sabbath and to appreciate the beauty that God has created around us. From the birds and butterflies that are coming over to the rustling of the wind through the trees, it I absolutely beautiful out here. There are bees that are freaking me out but I am trying to brave them.

I thank God for a beautiful week even with sickness. I thank Him for my family and other comforts HE has provided me. I want to take time to watch my son and listen to the sounds of His creation and keep this time as it should be.

Please pray for our recovery and that we do not spread it to anyone else.

Happy Sabbath

Branch

 Happy Sabbath and good afternoon.

Today was a much different Sabbath for me and there is much for me to ponder and pray about from this week.  I decided to disconnect and try to rest this Sabbath.  I started feeling off thursday evening.  I had a long day work wise and am thankful that I had an opportunity to come home in the morning and squeeze in a 2 hour nap before continuing on into more work.  I entered various homes and it was so great to see some clients I have not seen in over 2.5 years and I decided to stop at the grocery store before heading home to finish my work for the day.  I felt off and sneezed and was not sure of what was happening.  Friday morning my throat started feeling weird and by later morning early afternoon I had a burning that would not go away.  I stopped in the grocery store yesterday to supply my parents' house and my house with food items we both would need when they return this weekend (they are expected sunday evening) so I followed through with that but when I got home I wanted to shut down.  I cleaned up what I could, fed peacock, bathed, and laid down for the remainder of the day.  My throat was on fire.  

My throat was on fire so much that I was afraid my airway might swell and I would have issues breathing.  That never happened but I took some ibuprofen and drank fluids and tried to remain calm as I dealt with it all.  I sent a message to two church members that I might have to sit out service for Sabbath because I was not feeling well. I got through the night and the burning subsided earlier this morning but I didn't want to reactivate a problem so I decided to take a break from church service to continue this period of rest and healing.  I turned my phone off because people would be calling demanding an explanation.  I am the pianist and am rarely missing. I can count on one hand how many times I have gone missing in all these years for covering service and although I was feeling much better and suggested I would try, I didn't do service today.  

I hope I don't have COVID or monkey pox.  About a week ago I had a rash on my upper back and believed it was because of the soap I had been using.  I still continue to use that same soap and now am not certain if it was a reaction to the soap or me just having too much sucralose in my system because I know I overdo that with my beverages and other recipes.  All these things these variants are going around and I don't want to give my family anything.  I have every intention to go to work tonight and not take off work from my part time.  The only way I will take off is if I'm in an accident or I'm having issues with my airway and have to be hospitalized. Pain, fever, no other condition is going in my opinion to stop me from showing up.  I have continued to wear my mask and will social distance. I'm just confused as to where this strep throat situation came from.

There were other things that happened this week.  I was on my way to assist my pastor with church business when I saw a baby squirrel on the road way.  As always, when I am approaching any creature, I slow down to give them room to move to safety.  I'm afraid that the squirrel being as young as it was made the wrong move and when I passed at a slower rate, I looked in my rear view mirror to see a still furry figure on the roadway.  I didn't tell pastor when I arrived at the church just yards away and kept the tragedy to myself.  I helped move the items we picked up and headed back home to rest for 2-3 hours before working wednesday night at my part time.  

I have alot to pray about and issues to resolve within myself.  I went online searching for praize vision because 9-10 years ago, when I was in between churches I used to go on there and preferred to watch a church in NY.  Pastor Jules sermons were the ones that drew me the most, not certain why.  I would get my word for the day and spend the rest of the time trying to stay in a worshipful mode until Sabbath was over while living with my parents and other family who are non-adventist.  I felt community and comfort using that platform after having my world turned upside down months before all with a new baby in tow.  

I searched this morning and found that praise vizion was no more.  Only some of the videos were put on youtube.  There used to be this vast library of sermons you could select from for many churches throughout the US and even the Islands.  I guess COVID changed that for everyone so people branched off on their own youtube, facebook live feeds and chose zoom or gotomeetings because of cost and convenience.  I then moved to Dare to dream to watch what was on and turned out that at 12pm which is divine hour for my church, the speaker was none other than Pastor Jules.  He talked about branches.  

I will admit, my branch has not been as fruitful as it should be. As he talked about it, I looked out my window to my grapevine and looked upon the withering branches of it.  We have been having extreme temperatures and drought like conditions that are burning my roses, preventing good production from the grapevine, and burning out my grass.  I didn't cut my grass for 2 weeks now and have been watering it as often as I can trying to get it to green up.  The branches of my grapevine are thin and not producing many grapes.  There are grapes on it but I think this year, the birds will get the best of it.  But back to me being a branch, what good have I been able to produce?  I have a son who tries to connect on zoom for Sabbath school in another state but at the same time, is disobedient and chooses to do other things on the Sabbath and other days of the week that are not right and he has full awareness of it.  I have not been able to sway my parents in their old age to follow Christ.  I have not been able to sway any of my family.  There are people at work where it can be clear as day that they are Christians but if people were to look at me, what would they say?  

I have to do better.  I have a choice to do better.  I have to take action to do better and God has given me the ability to take action.  I have to take responsibility for my actions and in action.   I don't want to be a branch cut off and cast into the fire.  So I'm putting myself on blast for not being fruitful and not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  I thank God for today, His holy Sabbath day.  I thank Him for the pain going away from my throat and taking away my worry this morning.  I thank Him for sending my sister out to check on me.  My family expected to see me on zoom this morning and when they didn't they started calling and texting but my phone was off.  It was only when I was in the kitchen that my alexa echo announced they were calling that I went to turn my phone on and respond to them.  My son had audio issues and wanted to connect and I was not there to help him.  I don't know if they get on and are able to hear anything else that is said but hopefully some seed takes root in them.  I am thankful for my family.  I am thankful for Jesus.  I want to be a fruitful branch and am making changes today.  

Happy Sabbath

Roses

 Happy Sabbath,

I am keeping this one short. I am weak due to fasting and want to go lay down for a bit.  I had a great week and was productive at work. The Lord kept me safe on the road and permitted me to use the vehicle with the AC in this extreme heat that we have been experiencing.  I will not complain as I prefer this type of weather any day over long snowy nights and short cold dreary days.  I went out this morning to fill up the bird bath so the birds and other creatures could drink and refresh themselves.  I have not seen peacock yet but will keep an eye out while I am still awake.  He came close to sunset yesterday and I made sure he had plenty of almonds, peanuts and other goodies to eat. It is always a pleasure to see him stop by and he makes his way over quickly when he sees me at the door.  

I planted eight rose bushes along my fence line.  I have a ninth rose bush I've had for some months and that one is in the front of my home with beautiful gladiolas, and hostas in company.  I never thought I would be into flowers as I am now.  I occasionally buy bouquets of flowers to adorn my entry way in my living room and my front porch is filled with tropical foliage, lillies, and other plants.  I'm into roses.  My parent's home is like the secret garden. It is like Longwood gardens if people are familiar with Kennett Square and have had an opportunity to visit such a beautiful place.  The hydrangea bushes are literally taller than my own house, it's insane how things grow over at my parents' home and the rose bushes, my goodness.  I look online for ideas about gardens and even what is posted does not hold a candle to what my parents' have going on on their property across town from me.  Yucca bushes stand tall with gorgeous flowery blooms that you just never see.  Every direction you see something beautiful from magnolias, lillies, azaleas, to coneflowers, peonies, and rare blooms, it is a gorgeous site.  Now I'm trying to create a secret garden property of my own and that includes thujas and roses.  It will be very hot tomorrow but I hope to get out to figure out final placement of the thujas I picked up that are currently on my back patio.  I need to do measurements for courtyard I will design so that it will be a pleasant place to sit in, easy to reach and gather veggies, fruits, and flowers I may grow and provide the privacy I have been longing for.  If I can add a live water feature there, I may attempt that as well; I just need a good shovel for digging and a soggy day to soften the ground.  I could do a koi pond..I could install a flowing fountain, we'll have to see.  I am looking forward to doing more work on this property and making my home a pleasant place to live for my son and place to visit for the people I feel safe with.  I thank the Lord for roses, for the beautiful flowers, for the natural beauty He creates and surrounds us with.  There is so much beauty in this world and I am thankful for eyes to see it, to smell and hear it.  I am thankful for this opportunity.  It started with container gardening on a balcony and I fell in love with the jungle that it was becoming there and even in my kitchen.  If you can, take a quiet walk in nature today and just enjoy the beauty that God has put for us all around.  He put Adam and Eve in the garden to tend to it.  I hope that you too are inspired to start your own gardens, rely on the Lord to send the sun and rain and see how He makes all things beautiful.  Enjoy it and Happy Sabbath to you :)

In the Garden, In the Park

Happy Sabbath and good morning,

It is a beautiful morning and there is some rain on the horizon but I welcome it for my roses and other plants that need it. I am going to worship with my church family in the park today and am waiting for someone to come pick up a heavy item that they said they needed for the event. Personally, if they can get batteries for the mics, we would be able to just go ahead. I am trying not to feel down due to the lack of communication. These are my favorite people and though many are from the islands they all still seem to operate on CP time and that is not how I roll. It is 9:14am and I wanted someone to pick up and test the generators at 9am. We need to be there and seated by 9:30am but I have a feeling this lack of communication is very pervasive and will affect many other aspects of the service in a way we don't want. I had a lovely talk with another pianist and singer who I asked to play and sing for the service and she agreed. I intend to bring all equipment for her no matter what happens with the rest of the service.  We went over songs no one ever sings and played them together over the phone on our pianos. I look forward to hearing those songs she picked out and also to spend time surrounded by the Lord's creation and worship in a different place. I may go for a walk down by the creek as well with the children,  we shall see. God is good and I pray HE has his way today and guides us through this confusion we are in to higher pleasant ground.

Happy Sabbath :)

4:25pm update. I was right but God is still good. I ended up being the media lady and with God's help, connected the congregation online with us on site, worked out audio, did photography,  and made sure the pianist and speakers had what they needed. I was frustrated with my people but I was not surprised.  If anyone is going to prepare I'm definitely going to make sure I'm ready. I don't know about them. They, we all need prayer.

Please keep my church in prayer and for me to not lose heart.

Beautiful Rain

 Happy Sabbath

I am looking out my window and it is not raining now but it is expected to rain and there to be thunderstorms later on.  It rained last night and I am thankful for that.  My roses are getting enough water and continually blooming this summer because of it.  I watched the neighborhood peacock Pierre come up and drink some of the water in the blue plate I set out for him (it's really a frisbee but I use it as his feeding disc).  I didn't want to pour the water out as I saw him drinking so I pulled a doubled over clear plastic pot with drainage holes I drilled in prior and put his bird seed and nuts into that. He has one long feather remaining of his once gorgeous train hanging on for dear life.  I found two peacock feathers in the yard and forgot to bring them in yesterday when I was doing lawncare, so I will get them when I hopefully go out tomorrow, clean them and put them with the rest I collected for decoration.  They are such pretty birds and to me the most beautiful in the world.  I am thankful that the Lord has them not only wild in North America because they are native to India, but frequenting my back yard and gracing me with their beauty.  

I was sitting looking out my bedroom window into the backyard and surprised, thinking how far my property has come.  At one point, nothing was there. It was just a field, hill and a pine tree off to the side covered in poison ivy.  I am still working on ridding my yard of the poison ivy but now I have a volunteer maple, peach tree, vineyard, gazebo, raised garden, huge vegetable garden at the bottom of the hill, greenhouse, bird bath/feeding station, swing to relax in, and stage for plants next to grills and other yard furniture.  I am trying to create a secret garden...much like that from the 1987 film and I am in rose and boxwood mode so there is so much to be done.  God sends these beautiful creatures into my yard and I enjoy looking out my window watching the blue jays, cardinals, doves, and other birds come to my patio and enjoy the snack that Pierre left behind after he pecks over my raise vegetable garden.  That doesn't upset me any more.  

This week was a good week and today was a good day.  Work went well and I was able to see all my clients as planned.  I had good food, was able to get some rest, and declutter more around my house.  Sunday, I finally decluttered my bookcase in my bedroom.  I planted more hostas, and split up my daisies which are trying to hang on (it is just so hot outside).  The trees I typically buy to fill my pots that flank my front door entrance are thriving with the extra water I am giving them.  Everything is doing well...even the spiders that like to come out and invade my home this time of year. 

Spider or no spider, God is good and worthy to be praised.  Continue to thank Him for every day you are given because each day we have is truly a gift.  It's cloudy but beautiful outside and I am indeed thankful for this beautiful Sabbath day.

Happy Sabbath to you :)

Unspoken songs

 I hear the sound of prisoners praying, and their walls come tumbling down.  I hear the sound of foot steps their marching. As they come into the world. Thinking of You, satisifies me. I can fly, I'm alive in You. Work while it's day yeah, its what I hear Him say. End time evil is on the way, yeah.  Seeking Jesus, is just a measure.  A stone drops and no sound returns. My eyes on Jesus, no thought of turning.  He's got me wasted, I'm drunk in love with you. Seeking Jesus, is just a measure yeah. A stone drops and no sound returns. My eyes on Jesus, no thought of turnning.  He's got me wasted I'm drunk in love with You, in love aahh ovee love.  

I'm sure the lyrics are wrong.  This was a song sung by the popular christian band Unspoken many years ago...back in 2005/2006 or so.  I bought a replacement album and forgot what happened to it.  The first one I had I believe was lost in one of the first car wrecks I had.  I scoured the internet and found another copy on ebay but I have no clue where it is now.  I'm going to spend time cleaning my house this month so hopefully I come across it.  I love that song and also the one they sang Praises to the King.  Praises to the King, the One I love, oh praises to the King, yeah, the one I love.  I don't know why they won't list those songs on their website or youtube because most of the original singers are present and they were amazing worship songs.  I received a cd from a bro who invited me to come out to a free concert they were throwing at one of the universities I worked at during the time and later took classes and graduated with my masters.  

Happy Sabbath.  I am sitting home alone and these songs are coming to mind as I just left a good zoom church service.  For sabbath school someone called me and asked if i could do special music last minute and I agreed.  I looked a few songs and one was from when I was with the Mennonites ...What will you do with Jesus".  That song along with the songs from Unspoken were my absolute beginning to my Christian journey.  The person then called my name and I turned the hymnal at random and ended up instead singing Just When I need Him Most. #512.  I didn't have a moment to practice it or see if it would work for my voice.  I just turned the page and started to sing and I thank the Lord because that was the perfect song for the moment.  Just when I needed Him, he turned me to the right song to sing in that moment.  It was also the right song for my voice as I prefer to sing at a lower octave and like alto more than soprano range songs.  There were other favorites played today and I am thankful that my internet also worked well without a hiccup.  My son is out of state and attended service for a little bit.  It was good to see him and he was behaving himself pretty well.  I hope that his internet will work better for next week but I am glad that he was able to get on and I could see his adorable yet annoying face.  Love that boy.  

I am thankful for the visit from the peacock.  My son has been gone but peacock (Pierre) comes by nearly every day.  I have not seen his buddies but that's okay, I'd rather it just be him anyway.  I fed him this morning and looked out over my lawn that I am also thankful I was given an opportunity to mow yesterday.  They warned about thunderstorms but I saw not one drop fall.  I purchased a bird bath and set up the heavy mass in the back yard.  I also purchased peacock plants and other items to beautify the property as I am considering making my son's garden space into a secret garden.  

I am thankful for my roses coming back and blooming.  They just needed more water...really water every day and I have been trying to do that and they are responding beautifully.  I have buttercup yellow roses and am considering getting a baby pink.  I like light playful colors. I don't want red, at least not right now.  I hope to do some landscaping tomorrow morning and get more hostas and lillies in the ground.  My gardenias are coming up and my daisies are in full bloom. I will see if i can separate the bulbs and spread the daisies out more instead of leaving them in the cluster they have been in.  

I am thankful for a good week at work. I received a large and unexpected bonus...the bonus is almost the amount of part of my paycheck I get regularly in one account.  I am also getting a raise which I look forward to seeing.  I am thankful for these financial blessings and that my family is doing ok.  God is good and I I hope I can keep the right attitude and do more for Him in the coming weeks.  There is much being planned for by the church and I like doing the behind the scenes, on the ground prepping stuff.  I am going to have my final meal for today but wanted to get on here and share that God has been good to me. Every day He has been good to me.  Thank Him for His goodness in your life and if you are unsure, call on Him and just keep looking up.  He is here for you.

Summer

Happy Sabbath,

I'm waiting a long time for my computer to start up so I have to do my post on my phone to move on. Today was a good day..I was able to hear a spirit led sermon by one of my church sister's and the information was certainly timely. I had a good week and am thankful that I had two opportunities to really get some real rest in. I didn't realize how tired I was and am now really trying to find ways to get that sleep in. I believe I injured myself during sleep walking but the injury I was certain was a fracture feels a whole lot better and I am able to get around almost as well as I had before. I was able to purchase an ankle brace that I feel held reduce the swelling in the area because of the pressure it put on the injury. I am getting older and it is unnerving to know I have a wrist brace, knee brace and now ankle but I am in good spirits as I don't need to use any of them presently.  I can squat low and lift heavy without the need for these aides or fear of pain. A body in motion stays in motion so stay strong and keep using what you have while you can or prepare to lose it.

Last Sabbath was a great time. People functioned on CP time but we were able to press through and have a great time in the Lord. July is upon us. My dad's birthday is coming as well..He will be 81. I want to lavish him with luxury brands and honor him in these last years I have with him. I intend to get a vehicle serviced tomorrow and hope to go out to find some other nice things for him before he, my mom and son head out of state for the whole of July. I will have to tend to both of our properties while they are gone and cutting the lawns in this 90+ weather is no joke. Their property looks like Longwood gardens. I can only dream to get my property to that level. I have alot of work ahead of me and will give my stressors over to the One who can handle it all. 

I hope you have a happy Sabbath afternoon and are enjoying the summer. Stay encouraged:)

CPT

 Happy Sabbath

I am up and on here earlier than usual because my church is participating in a Juneteenth event and I need to be the first on the scene to get things set up. I love my people but unfortunately majority of them move on CPT and that annoys me so much.  God is good regardless and even if people can't figure out how to get anywhere on time, I know that God is always on time and shows up when you need Him the most. 

I want to make sure our stuff is prepared so I packed up things yesterday and will in an hour or so get my son up and ready so we can be there to secure the spot.  

I am thankful for the weather that is expected for today.  I am thankful for the placement of where our tents will be. I am thankful that sis just texted back now with what I need to do with some materials I was not certain if I had to bring because no one clarified it during the two meetings we had before.  I am thankful for my jobs. They announced Wednesday that they were giving us another raise.  Last year was the year.  I was hit with raise after raise after bonus, and then another raise.  I am making more money than I had ever expected I would make in such a short amount of time with both jobs and I am thankful for the opportunities that are provided to me.  I intend to get my suv serviced and replace the windshield and after that I will be able to drive it to do Doordash this summer.  I do not want to drive a car without AC, my main one carrying around people's orders while turning into a puddle myself in the car.  So far,we've had some hot ones and even the hot weather, I am thankful many times over as I'd rather have fire than snow and ice.  

I lost my earpods charging case and bought a replacement only to find the first one next to me about to fall between the seats some days later.  I am thankful I was able to find it and that I didn't toss the one earpod in the trash because I believed it lost for ever.  

It is 6:32am now.  I thought that I would get up to prepare something for the children for Sabbath school but I don't expect I will be back in time to be there.  There are two other teachers and capable adults who should be there so I am going to let it go for today.  I need to preserve my battery power and data for the event so we can be a presence there that will draw people to Christ.  

So I am going to go now and prepare.  I have a beautiful hymn playlist I intend to play and devices fully charged.  I need to bathe and figure out how to get a bunch of chairs and tables into my little car along with everything else and my child down the road. Looks like I'll have to make two trips.

Happy Sabbath

Randall

 Gotta get on here before I take my nap.  I had a good week and pretty much problem free.  I am being required to go out driving again for my job and see some clients that are not apart of my caseload.  I have a lot of people I need to see and I am thankful I was able to get out and see some more people and return home safely. But I will say the travel was a very harrowing experience.  I am almost certain a car that was within inches of crashing into me was a stolen car.  They missed me and sped through the red light and there were other reckless drivers out and about causing my heart to skip a couple beats and give a moment of silence.  Summer like weather really brings out the worst in people, but I enjoy this season and hope that I can continue to enjoy it and still keep my life. 

Something unusual happened this week and I don't know who I can attribute it to.  I have a client and I'll give the fake name Randall to replace his due to Hippa and how things find a way to come back and mess you up.  I was doing some work for Randall and then I thought about church business and decided to check the status of an application I completed on behalf of the church.  I looked and saw that a notice was posted saying that they regretted to inform us but our application was denied.  I was confused and told another church member that it was denied.  I would have stopped there and left things alone. I need a stronger heart for evangelism and that is one thing I'll admit I am lacking.  I won't say the event we are trying to do, but I am trying to follow God's will and support with it because it is the right thing to do.  I left another message for a representative at the township and his name also happened to be Randall.  I later received a call back from Randall from the township and he told me that he never declined us and there is no way anyone else could deny our request. All requests have to go through him.  I looked at the screen shot of the denial but he assured me he could proceed and said he saw our request still active in the system.  Instead of charging us the larger organizational price, he gave us the best pricing that could be offered.  I was appreciative and thanked him for making an exception in our case since he could have charged us due to us advertising but he chose not to.  I informed my church sisters of the approval and still showed the denial screen shot that no longer had standing.

Then I decided to try to sort out an issue for my computer.  I had paid for a McAfee antivirus service when I first purchased my laptop in 2020.  I was fine to pay what they would charge me but when I saw a notice of how high the cost would go in 2022, I decided months ago I would get ready to cancel auto renew so I could look for other coverage.  The date came for me to try to cancel and no matter how I went about on the site, despite following their directions, it would not allow me to cancel auto renew.  I then figured that since my bank card which I used to purchase the coverage was expired, there would be no way they could charge me so I left it alone thinking things were ok.  

They charged me.  I had called the bank back in May and they said I would have to wait for the charge to clear before I could contest it.  It cleared and even though my laptop was having issues and I didn't want the coverage, I decided not to contest it and count it a loss to me.  Then a week or so later and every day I got on the computer afterward, I would get notices of my coverage being expired but it was confusing because they charged me nearly $140 and why was it saying this?  I was busy with work and couldn't make enough time for a call until Monday this week where the person had me on hold and eventually I had to hang up so he gave me a tech support number I could call to continue the call with McAfee.  During that call, I wanted them to help me stop the pop ups that were saying I didn't have coverage.  On Wednesday, I called McAfee again but this time, the number they gave me didn't go to tech support but instead to some place else not related. I called around and kept getting the run around and after giving up on the phone lines, I tried to get support on the website but to no avail. Links would take me to inactive pages with no help.  I even tried to see if I could reactivate coverage in the app on my computer but it wouldn't allow for me to do so and kept taking me to a page to make a new purchase instead with no other options.  I was frustrated so I called my bank to contest the charge and guess who answered the phone?  

Randall.  I had to ask him again to make sure I was not hearing incorrectly.  This guy's name was Randall. The person who about an hour ago approved the request for my church, his name was Randall and my client who I did work for that same morning? His name was Randall too.  After a long time with bank Randall, he authorized a provisional credit to my account and I was able to make it to the bank in time to get a new bank card printed up to replace what I had been using.  

I don't know if what I've been using was a scam.  Bank Randall seemed to think so.  I'm not sure about the last Randall, but what I know is the name that was popping up throughout the day with three different people is not a very common name.  Again, the name was not Randall, it was something else very rare.  I don't know, but I thank the Lord that I was able to send out the referral for the first Randall and get the approval for the second Randall.  The third Randall gave that provisional credit but I am going to wait at least a month and possibly 1.5 months before moving that money because they may use recordings saying I wanted the service.  I had explaned to McAfee that I didn't want the service at first but since I was not able to cancel auto renew, I was willing to keep it. I just needed to stop the pop ups and be assured the service was working on my computer behind the scenes and even though they sent an email saying they resolved my request, I was and am still having the same issue.  I will uninstall McAfee once I am certain the direction this case will go.  

I have to take my nap but that is what I wanted to share.

May you have a great afternoon/evening and may the Lord be with you and your computers/devices as you use them.