I am home today after many things that happened this week. I have been strained, stressed, sick, and offended but I am still going to praise the Lord. Through the freezer, I am thinking I'm at fault for this. I went for my first eight hours on Monday night but on Sunday night I did 5 hours. I knew my lips would be chapped so I went in search of my chapstick and couldn't locate it. I saw one of my son's "many" chap sticks sitting about (he has taken mine without my permission at times) and I thought it would be enough to remove the top layer of the chapstick and sides so I could use it to avoid the dreaded chapness. I don't know but Monday night came and I was freezing. I thought the place turned on the air conditioner. I was freezing when I left that place Tuesday morning with a sore throat. Tuesday afternoon I was exhausted and felt like I was hit by a truck. I was freezing and had a fever on and off through out the week. I worked both my jobs and was offended by a church sister who along with someone else undermined the very little authority that I was told I had and that would be respected if I should exercise it. I see now that it will continue to be undermined and I am doing my best to be in a supportive role and not leadership role at the church. I know I don't have all the answers and I am not going to pretend I do. What ever will help gain more souls for Christ, I will get behind. I am getting over the offense as I don't need pride to keep me out of the kingdom.
I get to Wednesday and my son has a phantom tooth pain so severe and out of the blue the school sends him home. I am pressured to schedule an appointment for him ASAP and despite having an impossible schedule and all this going on I didn't get the support I hoped for with taking him to the appointment. Going on another 24-48 almost 1.5 hour sleep period with the flu, I take him to the appointment WHILE I'M STILL SUPPOSED TO BE AT MY MAIN JOB and the dentist could find nothing. Nothing! He was only in pain on Wednesday, not at the Thursday appointment. Friday comes and my parents harass me about my choices in medical care for my son and me and are trying to pick a fight. I am still sick and snap by pounding the table in anger and storm out of their house. I would realize later that I just injured my wrist in my tantrum and would end up buying a wrist brace and medication for my son two minutes before Sabbath. See, I took my son to urgent care after I finished with school on friday. Most people I know who need to see the doctor can't see their doctor the exact hour or even same day they want. You either schedule a few days out, call for an emergency appointment same day and accept what they offer you or do urgent care/er. I am working two jobs, one of which I cannot take off work for 90 days probation. My son's copays for er are $35 but even with my "good employer" insurance I have to pay $100. I took him out from school so to avoid my parents this weekend. I took him to urgent care for them to say they are a true urgent care and won't charge him a copay. I don't believe that. I expect a bill for $35 to come in the mail. Since I believe they will bill as an ER, I refused to be seen. I went through almost a full week of suffering so I didn't see the sense in paying $100 for them to likely prescribe nothing as I'm almost over it.
I was upset on friday and really thurs, the thought came to me that I should look for other childcare support options. I asked a church member if she knew of anyone who could help but she never responded. I know she read my message though, shes on WhatsApp. Friday I asked my sister to help me tonight and she agreed so I am thankful for that. Other people have been silent and that's alright. I won't make the same mistake again.
So I need to find other options to help with childcare. There are so many problems and I don't want to focus on those. Jesus has the solution to it all. This is what I am praying for in the new week to come if I should see it. My friends who have cancer, please keep them in prayer.
I stayed home today thinking I'd still be as sick as I was for all the other days. I felt better. I rested and watched a service online. I am thankful to enjoy a Sabbath in my home and for another pianist to be able to cover the service today.
Happy Sabbath to you
Happy Sabbath to you
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