A Little Short

Happy Sabbath

Busy day but a good day.   I will keep this short.

I am thankful for a good week. I am thankful for pay day and that I could give another full and honest tithe. I am thankful for the delicious lunch I had today. I am thankful that the song I tried hard to get the youth to be prepared for, the song that I had asked a mother to inform the youth and she did not despite my call directly to her and text messages, it still worked out and God was praised and people were blessed.  I am thankful for my parents who I am at odds with at times are helping me with my son and I can take him over to spend the night while I work my part time job tonight.  I am thankful for good work to do. I am thankful that my clients are doing better and that I am able to help them.

I am thankful.  This is my testimony for this week.  God is good. 

Just a Closer Walk With Thee

Happy Sabbath

I’m in the final hour of Sabbath and just want to praise God for a great week and day today.

I was upset with what happened last week but spoke with the people who were involved and changed my mind about stepping down.  I went to work this week and came to Wednesday to be surprised with an all day training.  I was not happy about it because I wanted to go home early and sleep up for work that night and what upset me more was that the trainer decided to select me to sit up in front.  They had tables with people facing each other and I ended up in the front front facing everyone in the training at my agency.  I am very anxious  and self conscious when I am in positions like this and seeing people look at me made me feel even worse.  I thought I was texting my sister about the ordeal and then realized I accidentally texted my church group how I was feeling in the moment.  You would think people would be at work, busy cleaning or doing other things in their life but of course several church mothers were immediately on the Whatsapp looking to see the newest text and read mine.  I’m new to Whatsapp so I didn’t know how to delete anything and braced myself as I saw another church member typing a response. 

They prayed for me and within 3 minutes I would say of me sending that text, my anxiety was gone.  I could sit comfortably and look at people and answer questions for the next 6 hours of the training in that spot.  That can only be God.  I have social anxiety and I usually never do well in situations like that.  I felt like a whole new person.   Satan tried to send people my way to pick at me and shake my nerves but it didn’t work that day.

I thank the Lord for my first paycheck from my part time job.  It was very welcome and well needed.  I was able to give back to the Lord what I owe Him and it feels good to do so.  I have enough I believe for savings every month and other things I need. 

Yesterday I had two dreams back to back about someone dying. I woke up crying and was not sure who it was who passed away, I’m sure they were for a reason which is why I’m mentioning them now. 

Today I woke up well rested and got to church on time.  I was the first person there for at least a half hour and decided to go with my son to set up for church.  I came to find out later that the person who usually sets up is sick today and stayed home.  Another church sister was not present and her three older children came in and one told me that their mom lost the key to her van so she couldn’t come to church with the rest of the kids.  They might come at 12pm and that would be too late.  I decided after setting up that I would go pick up three more of her children and after lunch/service, I took two of her other children to nursing home and them dropped them off at home. The other children I transported were taken home by someone else. 

At the nursing home a woman was sitting close to me and she told me she used to play piano.  She was shy and afraid to come up in front of everyone but decided today was the day she would come up and play What a Friend We have In Jesus.  And she asked me to play one of her favorite songs, Just a Closer Walk With Thee of which I love and have highlighted in a second hymnal I typically carry with me, I just never played it publically until today. 

It was a lot of overcoming happening this week.  A lot and it’s all thanks to God.  I have to go to work tonight and Sabbath is almost over so I will post this.  I thank the Lord for a good week and for what He is and has brought me through.

No Stress

Happy Sabbath

No stress.  No stress.   I had a challenging week last week and this week but praise be to God, I got through it.  I stayed home last Sabbath because I was sick.  I also stayed home because due to the agendas of other church members, they demanded another pianist come and resume playing for second Sabbath, which I had no problem with but when I asked for contact information for that person, those people who demanded the change waited unitl the last minute to send it after scolding me. It may not have been scolding but I was offended and tried to get over it.

  I had a tough week last week.   I was upset one day and forgot to mention it in my last post that  I was driving and dirt tired headed to the first appointment of the day following my part time job and I saw the tornado ahead but it didn’t register in my head.  I drove down the highway toward the tornado and soon I was hit with torrential down pours.  Several ambulances and police cars were racing this way and that way and I in my tiredness and frustration kept forgng ahead towards the storm.  Then around 5 minutes after drivng, I received an alert on my phone telling me a tornado was in the area and for me to seek shelter immediately.  I ignored the message and headed on making it safely to my first, second, and third appointments for the day without running into hail, downed trees or the actual tornado. 

No stress, no fear. 

On last Sabbath as I was home, my sore throat went away praise God.  It returned the next two days so bad I couldn’t swallow (just like the days leading up to Sabbath).  All the other symptoms I had added up to me having the flu, not corona or what ever they want to call that thing.  I got through another week of work and still left and right people were testing me trying to throw stress my way and see how I would react. 

I don’t have time for it. 

I returned to church today and was hit with more surprises.  Plans I put forth are shut down and the authority I was told I had was again not respected.  Different parts of the day made me feel like I was under attack.  The last straw was a church sister/elder coming up to me and criticizing me for the song selection the children sang during divine hour.  She believed I was the one who came up with the idea for them to sing the song and I didn’t bother to let her know I was not.  I simply said okay and walked away.  I have did what I could to prepare groups with selections that are acceptable for another elder to change the selection last second and I’m standing out here looking dumb not knowing what happened.  I created weeks and weeks of slides for them to be tossed aside and a schedule that made sense for again others to override what I put out with something else that no one is prepared for. 

So I said okay to the church sister.  I picked up my purse and items, went downstairs and got my son and headed out.  I don’t need to give explanations to people to leave, I am not a child.  I went home and am home now.  I messaged a church elder that I am stepping down from the role that she volunteered me for and gave some of the reasons for it.  I am not going to church to be stressed out and confused. I am going to worship the Lord, enjoy fellowship and be encouraged/encourage others and then go home.  Since I work Saturday nights, I really need to leave earlier so I can rest up for the night and being a choir director or what ever they think I’m supposed to be doing for all hours of Sabbath is not working with this schedule I have.  There are plenty capable competent people who can step in and do this and I noticed that ever since I stepped in the role, I have been undermined and criticized by mothers of the church.  I didn’t ask for advice. I am not looking for another mother, I have one blood born.  I’m not here for the drama and so I walk away.

I am thankful I am home with my son.  He ate something and is watching Bible stories and safe.  I am thankful for the jobs I have and the quiet clean home I have.  I am thankful that I have made it through this week and I will end this week in peace if God wills.  I will not allow confusion or stress into my life to drag me down and trip me up.  Someone else can take that.

Through the Fire, Through the Freezer

Happy Sabbath
I am  home today after many things that happened this week. I have been strained, stressed, sick, and offended but I am still going to praise the Lord. Through the freezer, I am thinking I'm at fault for this. I went for my first eight hours on Monday night but on Sunday night I did 5 hours. I knew my lips would be chapped so I went in search of my chapstick and couldn't locate it. I saw one of my son's "many" chap sticks sitting about (he has taken mine without my permission at times) and I thought it would be enough to remove the top layer of the chapstick and sides so I could use it to avoid the dreaded chapness.  I don't know but Monday night came and I was freezing. I thought the place turned on the air conditioner. I was freezing when I left that place Tuesday morning with a sore throat. Tuesday afternoon I was exhausted and felt like I was hit by a truck. I was freezing and had a fever on and off through out the week. I worked both my jobs and was offended by a church sister who along with someone else undermined the very little authority that I was told I had and that would be respected if I should exercise it. I see now that it will continue to be undermined and I am doing my best to be in a supportive role and not leadership role at the church. I know I don't have all the answers and I am not going to pretend I do. What ever will help gain more souls for Christ, I will get behind. I am getting over the offense as I don't need pride to keep me out of the kingdom. 

I get to Wednesday and my son has a phantom tooth pain so severe and out of the blue the school sends him home. I am pressured to schedule an appointment for him ASAP and despite having an impossible schedule and all this going on I didn't get the support I hoped for with taking him to the appointment. Going on another 24-48 almost 1.5 hour sleep period with the flu, I take him to the appointment WHILE I'M STILL SUPPOSED TO BE AT MY MAIN JOB and the dentist could find nothing. Nothing! He was only in pain on Wednesday, not at the Thursday appointment. Friday comes and my parents harass me about my choices in medical care for my son and me and are trying to pick a fight. I am still sick and snap by pounding the table in anger and storm out of their house. I would realize later that I just injured my wrist in my tantrum and would end up buying a wrist brace and medication for my son two minutes before Sabbath. See, I took my son to urgent care after I finished with school on friday. Most people I know who need to see the doctor can't see their doctor the exact hour or even same day they want. You either schedule a few days out, call for an emergency appointment same day and accept what they offer you or do urgent care/er. I am working two jobs, one of which I cannot take off work for 90 days probation.  My son's copays for er are $35 but even with my "good employer" insurance I have to pay $100.  I took him out from school so to avoid my parents this weekend. I took him to urgent care for them to say they are a true urgent care and won't charge him a copay. I don't believe that. I expect a bill for $35 to come in the mail. Since I believe they will bill as an ER, I refused to be seen. I went through almost a full week of suffering so I didn't see the sense in paying $100 for them to likely prescribe nothing as I'm almost over it.

I was upset on friday and really thurs, the thought came to me that I should look for other childcare support options. I asked a church member if she knew of anyone who could help but she never responded. I know she read my message though, shes on WhatsApp. Friday I asked my sister to help me tonight and she agreed so I am thankful for that. Other people have been silent and that's alright. I won't make the same mistake again.


So I need to find other options to help with childcare. There are so many problems and I don't want to focus on those. Jesus has the solution to it all. This is what I am praying for in the new week to come if I should see it. My friends who have cancer, please keep them in prayer.

I stayed home today thinking I'd still be as sick as I was for all the other days. I felt better. I rested and watched a service online. I am thankful to enjoy a Sabbath in my home and for another pianist to be able to cover the service today.

Happy Sabbath to you

Thankful

Good afternoon and Happy Sabbath,

It’s been  good day and week for me.  I am thankful to say that I went to orientation and it went well.  I had to leave before they could do some other things and I was waiting for a call but the call did not come so I went to the job site and was able to get approved for training.  I will have to go in for training tomorrow, Monday, and Tuesday from 5pm to 10pm and after that, I hope to be on the main schedule.  Pay day was last week so it would be very helpful to have checks coming, money coming in every week. 

I’m almost there but not fully.  I’ve gone through offers of employment to be bust so  am hoping and praying that this will be a successful venture. 

I don’t have much to come on here and complain about but I do have a prayer request for a friend of mine. I just learned today that she has breast cancer and will be going for surgery to address it soon.  It’s a rare type but sounded to be easily controlled, I pray so for her sake.  I ask for prayer for her that she has a good surgery and speedy recovery and no further issues.  She works so hard for the Lord and she is doing so much for others.  There is also another person who is in great need and her cancer is much worse.  There are so many people but please add these two ladies to your prayers (Cee and Kay) when you have opportunitity. 

I just got back in with my son from church and it was a good day.  I want to help my son warm up and settle in, the house continues to have heating issues but I thank God that we have a house and that the inside is not as cold as the outside.  We have heaters and a fire place.  We are equipped to deal with it and I thank Him for providing for us.

May you have a wonderful and blessed Sabbath and new week to come J