Quiet

Happy Sabbath

Today has been a wonderful day and I thank the Lord for it.  I thank the Lord for a good week and for the blessings He has given me.  I am home this Sabbath and I was able to listen to a sermon this morning at 5am and watch a service live via Praize Vision online at 11am. 

The pastor of the church for the 11am hour said something that I think is important.  We don’t take time to be still, to be quiet.  We are so busy with things at work, with our family, and even at church that we don’t take time to sit and in stillness listen for God.  It made me think of when I was at church last Sabbath after I had heard the two members speaking words of criticism and not being direct with me or who ever else they were talking about.  I sat and tried to focus on God.  I closed my eyes and was praying and I guess it’s not something normal because if you are sitting still and you have your eyes closed, something must be wrong.  Another church member persisted in interrupting my time praying to ask if I was okay.  I think about my second church years back and I literally had to hide on the floor in the first or second pew because anyone seeing me sitting there in quiet automatically thought something was wrong and felt it was their duty to break the silence.

I liked staying home.  I thought much about how I used to stay home to avoid giving the Lord back my tithe and an offering.  I started thinking about this some more today and was pleasantly surprised to see that I could give a tithe and offering through Adventist Giving online and send it directly to my church and conference.  I was able to join a chat of other worshippers via Praize Vision who for what ever reason were not at church physically today but they wanted to lift the the name of the Lord from their homes and various places they were located at.  I am thankful that the Lord ahs many ways for us to connect. 

I was able to listen to the sermon.  When I am physically at church, there is pressure to be busy.  Everyone is busy doing something.  Busy running the display and organizing background tracks for singers who will go up for special music. Busy moving equipment around, finding all the baskets for offering, searching for Sabbath school quarterlies.  Busy reigning in children who are tired, bored, fidgety, and want all of your undivided attention.  Busy looking pious.  Busy looking holy.  Busy doing too much.  We ought to be busy getting to Jesus’ feet and opening our ears to His message for the hour.  Instead, people are busy checking text messages, watching a foot ball game, updating their work calendars.  People hang out in other rooms busy putting stuff together they should have done eearlier in the week. Busy cooking or reheating food, taking up the entire sermon time doing this and not taking time to connect with others but only to make sure they have a plate set aside before everyone gets to the room. 

I think I will try doing this more often…perhaps once a month.  It was good that I did this.  I could sit here and take in the sunrise and enjoy the sunshine.  I could enjoy the quiet, read without noise and confusion around me.  I could listen to a sermon without the noise and confusion around me.  I could pray without interruption.  Next Sabbath I intend to stay home but the second Sabbath of the new year, I plan to return to church.  I’m not sure which congregation I will visit but I plan to go. 

I should mention something else this week.  I was feeling overwhelmed by the attention my Godmother was giving me.  I am not used to someone calling me every single day and expecting me to be available to talk at any hour. 

I work a full time job and although I make up my schedule each day, I still have to show forth 40 hours per week of quality work and it takes a lot of my mind and time to do so.  I also have a child I am raising with limited help from my parents.  My son needs my attention.  The Lord needs my attention.  I need personal time too.  I am an introvert and have gone for years without having to respond to calls for anything outside of work.  My own family does not even call me.  My friend is Jesus.  I do not have a best friend on earth or other acquaintances I call and deal with for more than a few minutes one day a week.  I told her I was feeling this way and I think she took offense and I was careful to say I didn’t want to offend her.  I have to pray about every friendship and person that comes into or within inches of my life.  People may seem to mean well but it might not be for the best. 

I certainly have changed much from 2010.  I was much more extroverted and would open up about challenges I was having with my church family.  I am no longer that person any more and I have no desire to change it.  I feel that the Lord should be the one I go to first about my problems.  Now when I am dealing with something, I am trying to be more careful about who I share I with.  I think that if you share concerns with any human being, go to other believers, but first pray about doing this.  People mean well but sometimes they don’t consult the Lord to help them to respond appropriately to you and it doesn’t help the situation.  My godmother had much to say about what I should change and what I should do.  I did make a real effort to put some of those things into practice but there are some things that I need biblical backing from and I feel that it is lacking. 

For example, anointing.  There are people in the Bible that were anointed with holy oil.  She told me to make an anointing oil, to get myrrh, frankinsence, lavender, olive oil, and other spices and anoint my home, myself, and my son and plead the blood of Jesus over my son and myself.  I did do this and even though I know the Word speaks of us being a royal priesthood,  (1 Peter 2 says 9But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light

I don’t feel that I qualified to go and do some things. I am working on getting my heart right, my mind right with the Lord.   There is a verse that says if there be any sick among you, call for the elders of the church. James 5:14: Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: 15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

 Let them pray over the sick and anoint them with holy oil. It is the prayer of faith that will save the sick.  I feel that there is too much stress over having “holy oil”.  I feel as though it is being said that if you put this oil on a person or what ever thing, that people believe evil can never come upon what was anointed. 

I looked for verses in the Bible and the only one I read about anointing things other than people was in Exodus 40:9 which talks about anointing the items in a tabernacle. 

“And thou shalt take the anointing oil, and anoint the tabernacle, and all that is therein, and shalt hallow it, and all the vessels thereof: and it shall be holy…”

My house is not a tabernacle.  My house is not a church.  I’m also not an elder. This is what I am struggling with.

I know that we are given power by God to deal with different things.  I need my mind and heart to be right with the Lord.   I need permission from Him to act.  I need guidance from Him to do what is right. 

Christmas happened this week.  I went to my parent’s home with intention to step no where near their tree.  I thought in my heart if I should go or not.  I did not expressly pray if I should turn around until after a certain point.  See, I thought in my heart that if I saw a sign, a bear along the way, I should not go to my parent’s home.  I packed up the gifts I had for my family and drove down the road (6-8 minute ride across town to my parent’s home).  Halfway there I saw a guy walking along the road and there was a fuzzy creature a short distance from him appearing not to be on a chain.  I said out loud to myself after looking hard at it that it looked like a bear (it was likely a dog of some extremely hairy fluffy breed), but as I said it I had then decided to pray if I should continue the remaining leg to the house.  I didn’t see an answer that last leg and came to the house and stayed about 2 or 3 hours with them.  All that my godmother said was fresh in my mind.  The balls, the ornaments on the tree were representative of the beheaded children, the victims that were sacrificed to saturnilus and put on evergreen trees for display.  She said that cartoons were demonic and there is no place for cartoons in a Christian home.  She mentioned Teenage mutant ninja turtles being one of those things and out of all things, my son was given a teenage mutant ninja turtle box gift set of some kind.  My younger sister came with her boyfriend and she was wearing a jacket that had all the Looney tunes characters printed all over it.  She was always a looney tunes fan and collected Bugs bunny stuffs over the years.  Other people like Marvin, that alien character. 

She threw a lot at me and I seriously have to pray about it all.  My son watches cartoons when at my parent’s home and I have limited control over what they do in their own home even when it comes to my son.  She talked about music being inappropriate for church.  I think about songs sung during worship and found no issue with those songs.  I have no issue with “Lord I lift your name on High”.  I have no issue with Tauren Wells, Selah, and so many more.  I saw a video talking about problems with Bethel Music.  Everyone has an opinion about this that or the other.  Why can’t we just worship the Lord, okay? 

So this is where I stand but I know the Lord will bring me through the right way. 

I had a good week.  I had very high productivity at work and purposed not to waste time at work on Thursday or Friday.  I am enjoying my home and played a board game twice with my son earlier this week.  My plants are thriving.  I have food in my refrigerator and praise God, my son tried chef boyardi Abcs and 123s for the first time in years since I bought them and he ate his alphabet.  He also tried half a crescent roll I purchased for the first time and baked this morning.  It is a big deal because he practically lives off of oatmeal and ice cream due to allergies and pickiness.  I want him to try and eat more foods.  Maybe I can get him to eat some veggies?  We shall see.

Today is a beautiful day and I thank the Lord that I could see it being the last Sabbath of the year.  I am excited for the next to come. 

Tares

Happy Sabbath.  Can I be honest with you? It is 12:51pm and I have been home for about two hours.  I had a difficult time with my son again at church and right after Sabbath school, I decided to take him home. 

I am thankful for two things this week.  I am thankful for a sister who I now count as my Godmother.  I am thankful also for a phone number she gave me, a phone number to something I have not used in almost 10 years. 

Last Sabbath was very difficult for me.  I had decided to return to church with my son after the tantrum he had at the other church. Several of the members from that church came to my church for a concert and when I arrived there, my son decided he was going to go his own way.  I had to stay because I promised two ladies (one of which is my godmother to play for them while they sang a song we practiced earlier in the week.   I had hoped my son would recite his part for the concert but the person who wrote up the program intentionally left him off.  After I did my part, I found my son and kept him in a room until the event ended.  I was to give the other person a ride home but someone decided to step in and cover that so I took him home.  I was beyond furious and not just with how he behaved in both settings, but at how I responded to him during the incident at the first church. 

I ended up talking to my godmother during the week and she gave me a number to the Metro NY Men’s ministry.  Back in 2009, a friend of mine gave me this number along with a number to a prayer line with some people in Washington state.  We would call every week at 7pm and I used to listen in at 5am in the morning with my job’s phone.  They had changed the number or something and after that, I didn’t listen in any more.

I am thankful for this ministry.  I was not sure if they would be on this morning but I called and sure enough, service was happening and I stayed on the line (did dose off for a little) for 2.5 hours or so.  I called the replay number on Thursday and called for the live conference call on Friday morning.  I also listened to the health medical ministry broadcast last night. 

If I cannot get to church because of my son, I am going to call this number.  My godmother and I spent time praying about my son and talking about what is afflicting him.  It is a demon.  I have been using the term autism and been surrounded by people who keep pushing this but there is one thing I know and that is the Lord would not lie. 

When my son was having trouble early on, I prayed about what was happening.  I asked the Lord that if it was a demon afflicting my son (causing him not to talk) show me a beaver.  That very same day I came back to my parent’s home and what did I see, but a beaver scurrying across the street and into the wooded area facing my parent’s home.  I didn’t expect to see a beaver that day.  Turns out, there is a beaver family that lives over there, along with deer.  In the time that I prayed to see a beaver to know if my son were afflicted in this way, I knew there was a beaver in the area but the beaver would rarely come out of the bushes because of the traffic on the road, people walking their dogs on that side of the street, and well, there is really no good reason for it to come out of it’s habitat. 

It came out that day and I was dismayed when I saw it.  I prayed, fasted for a little (not long enough).  It took some time and my son is talking and when he is at home, he wont’ shut up.  But he is still being afflicted and I am under attack by the enemy as well.  My godmother reminded me of the power that we have in Jesus.  She said I needed to get rid of anything hindering me at home, any trinkets, habits, music, anything that the devil can use as a stronghold.  I at first thought I was okay because I don’t have pagan items in my home but then I realized that my music was a problem.  My ringtone to my phone. My youtube video subscriptions.  Even the classical music I borrowed from the library such as a piece by St. Saens (Rondo Capricioso).  I borrowed the score knowing the composer was an atheist and although the music sounds very beautiful, it is not lifting up the name of Jesus.  The enemy was a musician too and I should have known better. 

I returned those books to the library.  Brahms might not have been a bad choice as I noticed there were songs he wrote that were made to praise the Lord, but I lost the desire to play all of the scores I borrowed and wanted to really clean house. 

I was encouraged to listen to a song by Babbie mason that my godmother wanted to sing.  I decided to ask Pandora radio to play Babbie Mason music and you know when you do this, it will also add other songs to the list that are not by the artist.  I happened upon a song by Spensha Baker on Thursday morning and by the evening, I purchased it and made it a ring tone and learned the piano accompaniment to it.  The song is My Purpose.  If you have never heard that song, please please look it up and you will never want to stop listening to it or singing it. 

By Friday, I made up a mixture of olive oil, frankinsence, lavender, and eucalyptus.  I couldn’t find myrrh oil in the store.  I was advised to anoint areas in my home, my son and my self.  I prayed over the mixture and did so.  I had a great time opening the Sabbath.   My home is peaceful and I feel safe here.  I have to invite the Holy Spirit to be in my home every day and I am praying more with my son. He is doing good at home now but not at church.

After hearing the message this morning, I got my son and I ready for church.  I walked in and was disappointed to hear two people who usually are there first not talking about God but mundane things.  There was no warmth in their greeting and if I had not tried to get their attention twice, I’m certain they would not have even spoken to me.  Two daughters came in after us and surprisingly, they greeted them and asked questions and showed interest.  Then they went back to their own discussion but spoke criticism indirectly about how parents let their children run around and don’t control them.  I know that was meant for me because you see, when I brought my son the night of the Christmas concert, my son got away from me and was running around and I couldn’t get a handle on him.  I was the only person guilty of it that night.  They also made other comments that didn’t matter much to me, I tried not focus on them and think about the reason I came today. 

I was prepared to do the children’s Sabbath school today but no child showed.  I instead used some of the materials to do with my son after he finished with his class next door.  Then we went upstairs and everything began to go wrong.  I was not going to tolerate him misbehaving and embarrassing me at church again.  He refused to sit.  Someone spoke to him and then another person and he refused to respond but he can talk people’s ears off when he is not at church.  We were asked to close our eyes and pray and he clapped his hands in my face and demanded what he wanted.  People look at my son like he has an intellectual disability and the youth snicker when he passes through.  People look on with disapproval, avoid eye contact, or make light of his behavior and encourage me to stay when things get out of hand.  People do everything, any thing and everything but pray. 

I dragged him out of there.  My son doesn’t need a dvd to watch. Can you believe someone offered that as the solution to his behavior? My son doesn’t need a book with stickers and crayons to color David and Goliath in to keep him quiet.  My son doesn’t need someone saying “oh come now, it’s okay (enter wrong name that is not my son’s) why don’t you listen to your mother and sit quietly.  He has been at this church for how long and certain people still don’t know his name. None of that works.  My son needs prayer.  My son needs prayer and I need prayer. 

That’s the one thing that is never offered there no matter how bad things get. 

The Lord knows who is His and when I go to church, I most certainly don’t want to be one of the tares.   I am thankful that He has put my godmother near me.  I am thankful for even another woman at the other church, two even that allow the Holy Spirit to guide them and are truly living for Jesus. 

I plan to stay home next Sabbath and the first Sabbath of the year.  I don’t know what the Lord will show me, where He will take me in the coming days, but I want to be around people who are led by the Holy Spirit.  I want to hear truth.  I want to be encouraged.  I want to do better as a child a God and as a mother.  I intend to connect to the ministry conference line this week.  I listened yesterday and I listened today and just in those two times, I felt as though I was really being fed. No interruption by my son.  No interruption by other people or children in the churches I visit.  I actually listened and really heard what was said and I am going back for more.  I also listened to a pastor, Randy Skeete on youtube and I plan to watch more of the sermons this afternoon.  What the men’s ministry and Skeete speak about, this is what we need to hear in church.  This is what I need to hear at this time in my life.

So I am thankful for the conference call and my godmother.  I am thankful for people who believe in the power of prayer and who are interceding on my behalf. 

I’m going to worship the Lord now and I don’t need any interruptions.

Tantrum

Happy Sabbath

I am having a bit of a problem at this hour, but I am determined for the Lord to get the glory and victory over it all.

I went to church today and was prepared to assist at the one church not knowing they were having a special Christmas program.  My coworker was also coming to visit and I of course wanted my son to be on his best behavior, not just because it is church and we are going to worship the Lord but also because I don’t mix work and other parts of my life.  People are judgemental and assume that you are not trying your best or trying at all. 

The day started out fine but when my son was given a cape and directed to go out with the other children, he decided to do his own thing.  He shook tambourines during prayer time.  He stomped and screamed in the pulpit.  He struggled with everyone who tried to calm him down.  For most of the service, I had him in a room with him screaming and I admit I was harsh with my discipline.  Even my discipline didn’t work.  He continued screaming and screaming and refusing to calm down.  It was only when a church sister came in and sat with him and her daughter that he really sat in quiet. 

I was able to return to the sanctuary, hear part of the sermon, and support with piano as I try to do.  I missed the message but the one thing I took from the sermon was that no one should be praying more than you are for your own family.  No one.  If we have faith, if we really believe, we should be praying constantly about our children, our parents, our sisters, brothers, and friends.  I should be praying more for my son.  I know there is power in prayer and I admit I have not been praying as much as I should.  I see the evidence of it with my son disrupting the service several times in meltdowns I have never seen before in this setting. 

I have a responsibility to be a good mother.  I also have to bring what I have no control over to the Lord and stop trying to fix things on my own, in my own power.  Spanking is not working.  Yelling at him is not working.  Taking what he loves most away from him lets him know it is wrong, but it does not correct the issue.  I don’t know the answers but I know the Lord does.  We are home right now and I will get it together and go to the Christmas concert.

Yesterday I was driving to work and probably I should say this.  The night before, I was watching a video on corrupt cops being arrested by other cops.  One actually was from a town about 5 minutes away from me.  Then I get in my car on Friday and am heading down the highway.  I am approaching that same town and suddenly, there is a police officer right behind me, following me in the right lane.  I happened to be on a call at the time and although I was holding my phone in my right hand, the car has a blue tooth system so I can talk or dial people without having to mess too much with my phone.  I have a magnetic phone holder but opted not to use it at that moment.  Despite the cop being right behind me, I continued on with the call. He followed behind me for a good while and then pulled over in the far left lane and as soon as he pulled behind another driver in that lane, he put his flashers on and pulled that person over. 

It could have easily been me and I thank the Lord that it wasn’t.  I don’t know why he didn’t pull me over.  I had a phone in my hand and that can be considered distracted driving.  I don’t always follow the rules when I am driving but God has shielded me from many problems and many consequences that affect so many who don’t follow those rules. 

I am supposed to be playing piano for two ladies singing at the concert tonight.  On Wednesday I promised to pick up one lady and bring her to my home so we could practice.  When I got home, I went about cleaning up and when I turned on the hall light, a bulb went out.  Not sure why it happened.  I went about finishing and was about to leave after using the bathroom.  I go to fix my clothing and my thumb nail split and bled.  I thank the Lord that I was standing right in front of nail clippers in my bathroom and I cut the nail and when I cut it down, it didn’t hurt.  That never happens.  I bandaged my thumb and went about picking up my church sister and practiced for a few hours on my piano.  My thumb is good.  The last time my nail split, I stopped playing piano for years (that’s another story).  I thank the Lord that I could play piano with a broken fingernail without extreme pain.

I had a good week.  The challenge is today, that’s what it is.  But I will not leave without saying God is good and giving a testimony about His greatness.  He protected me from getting into an accident, from tickets, and helped me to wake up this morning.  I was humbled today with my son’s behavior.  I have a lot of work to do on myself and with my walk with Christ. 

May you enjoy the rest of your Sabbath and God bless you on your travels and work through the new week.

Waiting

Happy Sabbath

Nothing dramatic this week.  Nothing completely fell apart or is left in tatters.  God is good and always is. 

Earlier this week I was anxious for a hearing that had been postponed at the last minute.  The new meeting came and the judge dismissed it because the required parties didn’t show up as outline in the appeal request. The individuals wanted me to represent them and although I spent time reviewing their case over the past week, I still felt unprepared and was going to be exposed for the fraud that I feel I am.  Of course I would feel unprepared because I never had to represent anyone in this way before.  When another person came  late (after the hearing was cancelled) she talked about the case and then I believe enemy was using her to play into my fears and anxiety about my self and my ability to do my job competently.  She broke off in this spheel that the people of my organization and others would eventually be out of work and if I my self was not looking to be a supervisor and work my way up, there would be nothing available for me in the years to come in this field.  “The writings on the wall” she put it.  I interpreted what she said to mean, “you don’t know what you are doing so you need to find another line of work because you don’t have the skills to keep up”.

I know this field is becoming more competitive and I agree that they are pushing for more social workers to have a medical background, nursing even.  Hospitals are hiring nurses for roles that people with bachelors of social work hold.  I don’t have a medical background but I don’t tell people I have a masters in social work.  When you tell someone you have a degree or some talent, they treat you differently.  They judge you.  They compete against you and really try to test how strong you really are. That’s why I stay to myself and don’t tell people what I am able to do in my every day life. The Lord helping me to get my masters and my previous job experience as short as it may have been really the reason I got into the job I have right now.  Despite having these extra letters after my last name, I feel that I am a fraud and don’t belong here.  Imposter syndrome some call it. I am encouraged slightly because I know God is on my side and can help me when I don’t have the answers and often I am looking for them. 

I went to a place on Friday to speak to a program director who out of the blue said that I should be looking to become a supervisor.  She thanked me for not leaving  and thought about other professionals who have quit for what ever reason and she made it seem that it would be foolish to not move to step up to supervisor.

I have no intention on becoming a supervisor.

I’m sure I talked about this before but I like my case load. I like how often I can get in my car and just leave. I am an introvert by the way so I need to make sure I have the ability to exit when I need to, not be someone on call on the daily or a floater without rights.  I like the freedom to make a schedule of my own and change things at the absolute last minute and not being responsible for coworkers caseloads and all the chaos that supervisors have to deal with on their own.  Sure, they may make more money, the kind of money I really do need to make right now, but I don’t want to be tied to an office.  I don’t want to be forced to see faces of people I may not like whenever they feel like stomping in my office.  My current position allows me to deal with people face to face, from a distance, or not at all if they are absolute hell raisers on my own terms.  I also get to really see the growth and impact that my contribution is making in the lives of the clients I help.  Being a supervisor means having any where from 2-4 times as many people as I currently have and I don’t see how I could be as useful, helpful for my clients after spreading myself so thin.  Supervisor equals burnout and although I want the money but I’m not going to get it that way.  The money will come and God has me here for a reason so I will wait here. 

So I guess I can say the indirect ways of one person telling me that I should quit my job and the other telling me to move up or stay broke and look silly kinda got me down this week but I was able to break out of it and encouraged myself.  No fire fell from heaven this week for me. No million dollars appeared under dazzling lights on my kitchen table.  God didn’t do those things but He held me together this week.  He helped me to get to work safely and on time. He helped me to bring my son to an appointment, providing heat for us in my home, and food for us to eat.  I thank and praise God for those things. 

I watched a program about the children of Israel leaving out of Egypt and heading to the promised land.  I rejoiced in the way that God provided for them and how He lead them out on eagles wings, protecting them, providing for them, and being merciful and forgiving when they had such hardened hearts and dulled understanding.  How can you see all that God has done and still not believe that He is there for you?  How?!!! 

God didn’t divide the Jordan river or drop manna from the sky this week, but He still provided everything I needed.  I thank the Lord that He extends that invitation to us many generations beyond the original peoples and the gentiles that heard the good news in Jesus’ days.  He loves us.  He wants us to trust Him.  Why don’t we?  God may have you in a place that doesn’t make too much sense to you but it is all for a good reason.  Stick with Him and wait upon Him, even when you don’t see where your life is going and you doubt yourself.  Don’t doubt God.  He has never and will never lie.  God really is good and I pray that you will have a blessed new week in the Lord. 

Nothing Between

Happy Sabbath

I had a good week.  I had a good week but some things were thrown in that were and are still confusing for me.

I thank God for hearing me, a sinner, someone who has let Him down time and time again.  Who am I for God to even think on or even take notice of me?

Last night, I started family worship in my home.  I ended last Sabbath with worship and I want to do family worship every week with my son to start and conclude the Sabbath.  After we had worship, I stayed at the piano in my living room and looked at different songs my son was turning pages to in my hymnal.  I saw 286, Wonderful Words of Life and this one is one of my favorite songs.  I played it and thought to myself about how I never hear it at church.  No one ever calls this number during song service.  I thought about how I go between two churches and about possibly dropping my attendance at the one my membership is at because I don’t feel like I am hearing from God there.  Funny how the week’s lesson was about having faith instead of searching for a feeling.

I thought or prayed even that if I could hear that song at church this Sabbath, for it to let me know that I should continue at that church still.  I have been in my feelings this week for another reason.

A coworker in higher ranking is coming out to one of the churches I go to.  She asked me if I was still going to be there and I told her I was and after talking about her son, she brought up the issue of another person, a friend of hers who was going to her church.  Long story short, the friend she claimed was an atheist who was going to her church and this person was suffering from depression, partly because she just had a baby from an adulterous situation.  She showed me a photograph of this beautiful baby and told me that the friend was considering giving the child up for adoption.  There were some other details she shared and as I heard the story, I was happy that the lady didn’t give up her child.  I saw some similarities to her and my own story which is mostly public on this blog, but private to practically all I pass in every day life. I left for the day as scheduled, but on my ride home, I started thinking about it and wondered at why she decided to speak about this person’s situation to me.  My coworker is an extremely smart person and she would make a really good detective if she were interested in that line of work.  Did the Lord give her these words to share or was it the enemy? In her sharing, she told me that she is not a person to judge others and still was supportive of her friend even though she got involved with a married man and his wife doesn’t even know this child is out there.  I’m confused as to why she said the person was an atheist but the lady was a member of another church (not Adventist) so I feel as though she may have thrown this story out to me to see how I would react or if I would open up about what she may already probably know (or thinks she knows) from the grapevine. 

I am still praying for an answer about that. 

I went to church today and sat at the piano.  The second song the Sabbath school superintendent requested I play was 286, Wonderful Words of Life. 

I feel distant from other church members and compared to the other church, the current one I am a member at is colder.  The other church feels like family.  It’s smaller, people are very transparent with one another, and people really pray. But the Lord wants me to continue with my main church, so I will. 

Something great happened earlier this week but I forgot what it was.  I have one more testimony though.

I was finishing up my month yesterday, being the last day of November and felt as though I accomplished a lot and saw everyone I needed to see as required by my job.

Or so I thought.

I had 10 minutes before I had to take my son to my parent’s house so he could catch the school bus when I started thinking how delightful it was that I didn’t even have to go to a certain building this month.  I didn’t have any client I needed to see Friday that was connected to that agency so I know it was the Lord that put these two individuals on my mind.  I stopped and thought to myself that it was strange I didn’t have to go there and it is unusual because I tend to go there at least once if not four times in a month. 

I checked through my computer and saw that I missed two people. They were scheduled with the agency representative but just never made it to my calendar. I didn’t check for more individuals (probably more people should be added to that list, I’ll find out Monday uhhhh....).  I emailed people and in the car ride to my parent’s home, made a last minute appointment for both that same morning.

I have come across situations like this when a certain person will come across my mind and I am provided by the Lord with just enough time to fix/address a situation with them and not end up embarrassed. My case load is only 29 and when someone is not in crisis or having any minor challenge going on, it is easy to overlook them.

I thank the Lord for helping me to remember those two clients.  I thank the Lord for hymn 286.  I thank the Lord for having one of my clients move in my old neighborhood where my favorite Asian supermarket is.  I have not been there for over 6 years and Thursday was my first time going since the chaos with my son’s father began.  I walked through there and pretty much everything (except the tofu) was in the same exact place as things were 6 years ago and I could find pretty much everything that I wanted quickly.  Coconut gel! Red curry paste! Large seaweed sheets and honey powder! Even wonton wrappers that you can fry to make your own wonton chips (which I did today, not healthy but certainly yummy)!  I thank the Lord that I could walk through that store once again and that I have a client who lives close enough to justify me stopping there to purchase all of those and many other goodies. 

I thank the Lord that my sister still has her job.  She is still waiting for the final outcome so please keep her in prayer but she is still working.

I sat this week thinking of my failures.  I thought about how low I had fallen after I took that train home; after I heard the story about the woman who kept her child out of wedlock.  I don’t trust any person enough.  I mean I was or thought I was doing everything right.  I didn’t even see how bad my sins were and I was drowining in them.  I know she said she doesn’t judge and that she doesn’t have the right to judge, but I’ve heard this many places and times before.  We are human.  We say things and we don’t keep our promises. 

But praise be to God that He keeps His promises.  He forgives us when we have sinned.  And even after all of this, all that I have done, the Lord is still willing to give me sunny days.  He has blessed me with this house and my family.  He is using me with a music ministry that I thought was destroyed when I chose a man over Him.  He has kept me from serious injury through several car accidents.  He provided me with a car when I didn’t have money for one and I shouldn’t have even had one.  He gave me peace when I didn’t know where to find it.  He answered so many prayers before.  I don’t deserve His love.  I thank Jesus that He keeps His promises.  I thank Him that He loves me and has forgiven me. 

So if anyone says you cannot come back from what you have done or you cannot over come, know that it is with Jesus that you truly can.  Only God has this power to take you out of the mire.  Only God can transform you and change your circumstances.  The very nonsense you have accidentally or perhaps intentionally but naively gotten yourself into.  God has an answer for it all and He can turn it around for your good. 

Where would I be if I didn’t have Jesus? 

Repent and seek Jesus, seek the Lord.  It isn’t once saved always saved.  We make choices that can make us lose out on eternity with the Lord but as long as we have breath, have life, have another moment to be  with the living, we have another chance.  Repent and seek the Lord.  Nothing can separate us from the love of God.

Nothing.

Please Pray

Happy Sabbath

I thank God for another good week. 

I thank the Lord for an experience my mother shared with me earlier this week.  When she was down with my dad at the vacation home, she was outside and a car pulled up near the house.  A young lady got out and approached my mom.  The vacation house is my grandmother’s house.  It was one of  10-11 homes on the street.  It was paved I think for the first time back in the 80s because I remember summers down there and all the dust around.  It’s in the country, not in a convenient area to walk, drive, and there is no mass transit that takes you any where near the road.  My grandmother’s house was a four room house (living room, two bedrooms, and kitchen.  When my dad married my mother, he helped around the property and built a bathroom so they wouldn’t have to use the outhouse that my mother feared most nights because of the snakes and other creatures sure to be lurking in the dark.   The house next door, a Ms. Ladonia had passed away and so my dad purchased her lot and tried paying people to tear that house down so the taxes would be less.  The guys took my dad’s money and didn’t tear the house down so my dad went down by himself and demolished it on his own.  I think combined its about 3 acres of land, but I’ll have to check with my parents.  My aunt had a trailer on the opposite side of the path that lead to this neighbor’s home.  That path was not supposed to be there because they didn’t maintain their shrubbery and lost the original path that led onto their property, so the new path cut through my grandmother’s property.  My great uncles owned homes across the road and my great aunt still lives in the house adjacent from my grandmothers.  The road is a family road and although there has been a new neighbor here or there, everyone for the most part is related to us in some way. 

Well the house that had the path which cut through my family’s property, their mom was thinking of burning the house down to cut down on the property taxes, but my mother happened to call her up and stop her before she was going to go through with this.  She had moved to DC and been in DC for some years and this lady decided to sell the house (not the lot but the house) to my mother who had such fond memories growing up on that road and playing at/sleeping over at the house.  That house was moved over across the field and connected to my grandmother’s home and now the house is about 10 rooms if not more from the original 4 rooms it long ago was.  My mother had a dream to work on this house and have it ready for thanksgiving so we as a family could head down there during the holidays, but I bought my house and I stopped her plan and I know she is disappointed with this. 

But I know that the Lord has it for this home to be built and to be so much more.  My mother used a week with my dad down there to clear rooms and get some dry wall into place.  My dad doesn’t understand how important it is to her and no one really is speaking encouraging words around this project. 

So she happened to be outside the day before they were going to leave and a car pulled up on the road by the path that cuts through the property.  A young lady approached and said that they happened to be in the area and wanted to check out the old homestead and others started getting out of the car.  This young lady turned out to be the daughter of the woman who owned the home and my mom knew her (had not seen her since she was 4 or 5 years old).  They expected the house to be gone, destroyed and were confused but delighted to see the house attached to my family’s property and new life breathed into it.  My mother had memories of several parts of their home and knew it would be a terrible move to destroy it, especially when she was working on expanding the house and making it a great family vacation destination.  Our property has the only two wells that provided water to the entire community, not just the few homes on our little dusty road.  My mother had been wanting to go down every other month but either my house plans, health issues, or something else came up in the way and she was disappointed time and time again.  God had it that out of 365 days in a year that the neighbors rode all the way there that very day to see what great things were happening.  My mother also usually is very relaxed and “homely” when she is out doing work but it was this very day that she decided to dress a little better and wear a hat and she thanks God that she wasn’t caught looking as crazy as she usually does.  The neighbors walked through the house and it is not just my family’s, but it is their home as well.  It really is.  When the house is finished, they and anyone else in the neighborhood is welcome to stay  and not have to check into a hotel. 

My great and aunt and cousin have keys to the house as they live across the street and can keep an eye on it. 

Only God can make timing like this.  I hope others can see it and will get behind this project because it is going to be something wonderful and I know for myself, I want to be apart of it. 

I went to church today and decided to go to the one in my home town.  There was a topic that I was looking at prior to going (adultery) and I was surprised that it was brought up during the service.  I was shocked to hear that someone else had fallen into this sin but prior to coming, I thought about how perfect I was on the path but satan was throwing things in my way to tempt and in his plans try to use me to get others off of their walk with the Lord.  I remember the thoughts and feelings, how strong they were but I remember choosing (thank God) not to disappoint my Lord and not to be used for destruction by the enemy. We have to constantly pray and guard our hearts and minds.  If you see any way you may cause someone else to stumble, don’t tell yourself that it is their problem and not yours.  Remove yourself and change what you can.  Anything beyond your control, give it to Jesus but first move of defense for yourself and offense for the enemy is to remove yourself and prayer.  Today I sat hearing someone asking for prayer for a couple that was hurting from adultery.  There are men in the church that I have to be mindful of how I am when I am in the same space.  I have to sit far away and if I can’t do that, I will focus my attention on my son or something else.  I have caught some looking at me.  We need to examine our motives and our hearts.  I pray that we all keep our focus on Jesus and not allow the enemy to come in and distract.  The sermon today was about agape love.  When we have real love, agape love for one another, we can fellowship with one another with pure minds and hearts. We won’t be distracted, embarrassed, afraid, envious, competitive, selfish, and so many things that are not evidence of real love. 

The church, myself have a long way to go to being perfect in love. 

Please pray for me.  Please pray for the churches.  Please pray for my sister who texted me today asking for prayer because she made a mistake that may cost her, her job.  She is a believer and when there are two or more gathered in Jesus’ name, prayer is heard and great things happen.  Please pray especially for her.  She is the sole provider for her mother (my dad’s exwife) and her daughter and she has been at her job for many many years.  I don’t know what the Lord has in store for her, but I ask that she have a stronger relationship with Jesus and that she is financially secure, no matter what direction this takes. 

Please pray and God bless you

Through the Ice Storm

Happy Sabbath

I thank God that right after Sabbath last week, I received a call from my mechanic.  He said my car was ready Friday but he forgot to call.  My phone is usually not charged and when I am home, I have it on silent mode and never have it close to me, but it was God’s will I had the phone in hand when he called me at what was 5-10% battery power that night.  Their business is supposed to be closed by 4:30pm but he called me around 7pm so I headed over and was able to get my car and everything I really wanted fixed was repaired.

I paid for things outside of the body work and the bill ran up over $700 but he let me go with $400 charges.

I am mighty glad because I knew the brakes on the other car I was borrowing from my parents was not great on the road and if I had to deal with slick conditions, I would not be able to really stop in time.  The week went great and was challenging, but it became extra challenging when Thursday came around. 

I had three appointments for that day and knew that a winter storm would be affecting the area, but expected rain to wash everything away.  I headed out and completed my first two meetings and was on my way to the third one which I expected would give me a dicey return drive home when I was done.  I was only 15-25 minutes into my drive when I noticed my car was losing control quickly.  I opted for back roads thinking everyone dealing with the storm would be on the main roads and slow m down.  After hitting more ice, I decided to call and cancel the meeting for the afternoon.  I used my gps to find another route to head home for what was supposed to be 40-45 minutes away from where I was.  I saw secondary roads getting backed up and didn’t think much of it and when I came to base of a hill which I would climb, I noticed a car having trouble at the bottom.  I saw everyone else going up the very same hill with no issues so I decided to follow my gps and proceed. 

My car just couldn’t handle those hills and the area I had to travel through had many rolling hills.  I tried pushing the van of a girl in front of me and almost blew my transmission trying to get the move on that same hill.  I had to ignore my gps because it was taking me towards more and more hills and if I left my car in park, my car would still be sliding down.  It came to a point I had to use the bathroom and I thought about what I told myself to do that morning.  Last time I was stuck in traffic, I had a stomach bug so I made sure a plastic bag was in the car, but on Thursday I didn’t think to get a cup in case I had to go, if you know what I mean.  I prayed and prayed during and after the first of four hours I would be stuck out there and the Lord put a convenience store chain that I frequent in my sight line.  I got gas, used the bathroom, was allowed a free cup, and got back on the road to deal with more hills, driviers losing control and getting way too close to my just repaired car, and driving 2-20 miles per hour for most areas, even going miles out of my way to avoid what would be an area that yields inevitable accidents just to get to my parent’s home to pick up my son.  My son got home 30 minutes late and he fell asleep on his bus by the time he rolled up and I was surprised I was there before him. 

I thank and praise God because I could have been stranded out there.  There were so many accidents and people ran out of gas.  I heard that on I78 that there was over an 30 mile back up where cars were stuck in ice and snow, out of gas and drivers went to sleep because there was nothing that they could do to really stay alert.  They were out there for 12-18 hours, I still don’t know how long.  People have to use the bathroom.  People have health conditions like diabetes or may have been heading to the hospital because of some complications or childbirth.  So many things could have happened but I thank Jesus that it went the way it went for me and my family.

I thank the Lord that my home is coming together.  I thank the Lord that my son is learning at church and listening.  I can tell through his prayers.  I pray for the youth of the churches I visit.  They have so many distractions and influences around them vying for their affections and I want them to continue walking in the direction the Lord has for them to go.  I have seen children get baptized but not too long after pick up the bad habits of other youth at school and in the world around them.  I know the parents who several are elders if not pastors are crying out for their children and asking for the Lord to intervene.  I want to see them doing well.  I want to see them and my son developing healthy and strong relationships with Jesus.  I want to build my relationship as well.  Pray for the youth and thank the Lord for what He has blessed you with.

Thank Him for yet another day to change and grow with Him.

God is good.

God is Good, God is Great!

Happy Sabbath

I want to thank the Lord for a wonderful week and Sabbath.

Right after I wrote what I wrote for last week’s blog, I received a call from my friend who asked if they could come over and pray with me.  It’s been a very important thing to me to have this house blessed, especially after moving in and after what I experienced, I knew I needed this to happen sooner rather than later.  I accepted the state of my home (it is still coming together but it looks less than the shambles it was in when I started).  The pastor, my friend and her mom came and prayed in my house and I am thankful for that.

I am also thankful that things did not get out of hand with my son at the hospital.  Saturday, he was not feeling well and that was the main reason we stayed home.  After the group left, he really started throwing up and complaining of stomach pain.  I thought it would run out of his system faster especially since he was drinking water and doing breathing treatments (has asthma) but it just kept getting worse so we left at 3am on Sunday (day light savings time) and as I was driving, I was not sure if the hospital I preferred to take him to still accepted his insurance.  I couldn’t reach anyone at the emergency department and so I decided instead to head on to my town’s ER hoping there would be no line and that they would be able to help him.  I got there and there was no line. He was seen pretty much right away and we stayed there no more than 3 hours.  They gave him medicine that stopped his stomach pain so he could breathe normally and when we got home at 5am (was 6am unchanged), he was able to sleep peacefully through the rest of the night and into the late morning.  Turns out it was a stomach bug going around because I first had bad symptoms on Friday and when he was supposed to see his therapist on Monday, she cancelled saying that she too had to go to the hospital for the same issues.  She came on Friday this week and told me her husband and a couple other people she knew also got sick. 

So Sunday, he recovered praise God.  Since he recovered, I decided it would be good for us to go for a ride and we went to the store to get some nice things for our home.

On Thursday, I received a text from my mechanic and came to find out that the company responsible for my car damage had sent them a check to repair my car.  My son and I had eye doctor appointments in the afternoon and I needed to drop my car off with them so they could get to work on it before heading to the eye doctor.  I drove to the auto shop and my mechanic drove my car back to his shop after I stopped at my parent’s home because I would need to borrow one of their vehicles to get around.  I took their car back to my  house and spent time with an unplanned raking of leaves with my son who thoroughly enjoyed jumping in piles and helping me.  We were about to take off down the highway with the car to the appointment when I realized there was no gas in the car. 

I thank Jesus that two gas stations are not too far down the street.  Prayed all the way there and made it and was able to fill up before going to the appointment which we were almost late for.  I am also thankful that we both were able to be seen at the same time. 

I was excited so we went to the eye glass shop and I thought to purchase one pair for myself and two for my son but ended up getting two for each of us and it hit me hard in the wallet.

I had Comcast come out yesterday to set up our internet.  I scheduled this because earlier this week, I received an alert that I used 18 gb of data and my plan gives me 6 gb and I supposedly only had 8 gb available from previous roll overs.  I wanted to watch 3ABN last Sabbath and that hour or so definitely is going to hurt me in the pocket almost as bad as the eye glasses and the aviators that my son picked out for me.   On top of this, my mechanic called me on Friday saying that the bill for the work I was authorizing him to do would run about $600, $600 of which will have to go on a credit card because I don’t have the money in the bank to deal with it.  I told him I could handle only about $400 and he said he would see what he could do.  I had no idea it would be this much and I am hoping that the bill will run much lower.  I need the sway bar links fixed and an oil change.  He wanted to replace the motor mount but that is no big deal. He did it before when I had my last accident I think in 2017?  I am low on money and trying to get my head above water.  I am hopeful that the Lord will work things out but I don’t like being in debt. 

Sabbath service was great (except for my son acting up during tithe and offering time).  Lunch was great. Fellowship was great and Sabbath school was fun. I am home with my son now and want to do some bible study and spend the rest of the day singing. 

It’s been a great vacation week and I am hopeful for a wonderful new week to come. 

My Family Needs Prayer

Happy Sabbath,

I had an interesting week but there are two things that concern me that I need prayer for.  I didn’t go to church today because my son is sick.  I initially thought it would be myself but I guess we both have a stomach bug.
I didn’t try to keep track.  It was either Tuesday or Wednesday that I was home and I had this dream that scared me.  I then went from the dream to the presence of something trying to take over me.  I prayed about it and went on about my business.  Now last night I decided to stay with my son in his room for the first time.  Yesterday was a warm day and I am not trying to use too much heat if I don’t need it.  I made sure the thermostat was turned off because it was hot.  I was up and down with my son all night long and close to 3am, I had this thought that the heat needed to be turned on. I am lying in the bed with my son who is sleeping. Next thing I know, the heat starts blowing through the floor vent in his room.  I was confused because I knew the thermostat was off.  I got up to see that air was blowing through all floor vents and the thermostat switch was pushed all the way over to on for heat.  I turned it off and headed back to his room to see if he would be willing to get up and use the potty but he refused.  He would cough on and off much like he is doing now and he had a runny nose.  I prayed in my heart and went back to bed to experience the same nonsense I experienced that Tuesday or Wednesday night.  I had to pray rebuking the enemy because I don’t have time for this nonsense. 

I am not sure about Sunday last week, I may have honestly forgotten to turn the heat off then.  I was too tired an lazy I didn’t bother to check the matter but last night I knew the heat was off. 

Please pray for my family and my new house.  I want Jesus to be here.  I want the Holy Spirit to be here.  I don’t want the enemy to enter here. 

AS for my week, I had a busy and productive week on the job.  Bills were paid on time, praise God.  I spent some evenings enjoying playing my piano, unpacking some boxes and relaxing in my room.  My son was able to explore the backyard before Sabbath started and the weather was mild and felt great.  This morning I looked out the kitchen window and spied a blue jay flying to perch on the fence at the bottom of my hill before dipping off into the neighbors back yard.  I have many beautiful colors in the back yard and it is a beautiful sight to behold sitting in the kitchen or plant gallery (I don’t have a dining room table so the space is my plant gallery. 

I thank God for helping me to get home yesterday.  I went to my first two appointments on time and decided to use an hour to type up my service notes.  I called the optometrists office and thankfully was able to schedule an appointment for my son and myself as we both need glasses. When I realized I was 15 minutes behind for traveling to my last site, I took off driving and my stomach started to bother me. My stomach was hurting me bad and I was not sure what it was.  I got to a major highway to find it was backed up and I had the choice to either commit to sitting in traffic or using the last few seconds to escape and head north bound and add 10-15 minutes more to my commute but give me the option to pull over at a store or rest stop if I had to use the bathroom. I chose northbound and the pain in my stomach went from me feeling like I was going to vomit to diarrhea.  At certain points, I even felt like I was going to pass out.  I arrived at my destination and used the bathroom, saw my client and when I went back to my car, the feeling started all over again. I then went to a supermarket a block up the road and used the bathroom, bought some seltzer water and chips before getting back on the road and keeping myself composed. 

I got my son and took him home and he was coughing and complaining that he was sick.  Now this morning or afternoon I should say he has the same bowel issues and is having breathing difficulty and nausea.  So I poured out my soy milk (he is allergic to soy so he didn’t have it.  I guess it wasn’t the soy milk after all.

I thank God we are both home.  I thank God that we have the things we need and our home is comfortable.  I thank God for good people like my church sister who I’ve known since I was 4 years old. I asked for prayer and I really mean it.  I have come too far to give up and turn high tail now.  Pray for my home, for Jesus to be the center of my life and my son’s.  For Jesus to reach my family and for His presence to be in our homes.  Pray that my son feels better, that the truth makes it to more people and that we are not afraid to speak and do what is right even when facing frightening and possibly painful circumstances.  I pray for courage, guidance, and strength.  I pray for unshaking trust in God. 

Happy Sabbath

Happy Birthday

Happy Sabbath

God is good.  All the time God is good.  Today is my birthday.  God gave me a most amazing present and I am so happy to share that I stayed the first night in my house last night.  I was able to get the certificate of occupancy yesterday after all this time.

I was told by a woman who I feel was happy in denying me when I realized I didn’t have a survey completed.  My parents paid $400 for a survey to get completed and this was something that was supposed to take 2 weeks but they made it happen the same week.  My parents gave me the survey and I headed to the township to give them the heating certificate and this document and it was the same lady who denied me before.  She took it quickly and headed back, spending around maybe 5 minutes in the back before returning with the certificate of occupancy.

Or at least that’s what I thought.  My eyes only saw the first four words “The Certificate of Occupancy”.  I was so happy that I didn’t bother to look over the rest of the document.  I asked the lady point blank if there was anything else I needed to do or if I would need to return at a later point and she said no unless I wanted to come by and say hi.  I thought this was sincere and I headed out happy and headed to my parent’s home to finish doing my service notes before figuring out what my afternoon and Sabbath plan would be.


I finished most of my work when my parents came back to their house and I stopped to pull out the certificate.  I noticed that it said “The Certificate of Occupancy—Expires in 30 Days”.  I was confused about this but my mother spotted another error.

In the owner line it listed my father first and then my name.  The only time I gave them my father’s name was when I was scheduling the township inspection and they said if they could not reach me I needed to provide a back up for when the inspector comes out so I gave my dad’s name and number.  Of all the times paperwork went over and the township discussed my case, the only person that came into their presence was me.  I purchased the house, not my dad.

I headed back up there and the lady who served me saw me and decided to dip out and keep checking around the corner to see if I was still there.  Finally a different lady came to assist me and my mother decided to come out for moral support.  The lady was quick to say that my dad did this or that but my mother backed me up that he had nothing to do with the house and the house is mine.  By having his name on that document, he might be held responsible for property taxes and their taxes are just as high as mine.  I’m glad my mother was there because the lady was not getting it when I was telling her that my dad’s name should not be on the document. She sat down on the computer and corrected it in less than a minute.  This time it read The Certificate of Occupancy.  Period.

My name was listed as owner.  I believe the previous lady intentionally put that it would expire in 30 days and added my dad’s name.  At no point did I see anything talking about a process where a certificate such as this would expire in 30 days.  If it expired, they could come out and fine me. They could also create confusion and problems for my mortgage provider who is handling my tax payments.

I walked out with my mother feeling bitter but I have to let that one go.

I headed back to my parent’s home and finished my notes. Then I decided hurriedly to pack what I could so that my son and I could stay over at our house.

I never thought I would get this far, see, I was expecting to come very close to moving in my house sometime in November.  I never thought I would be in by my birthday. I have a blow up bed and two sleeping bags.  Some of my furniture is already here but the rest will be moved tomorrow.

I went to church today and my son said a prayer.  He actually prayed and thanked God for different things and I didn’t have to talk to him before.  He thanked the Lord for me having a birthday and when he said that, another little boy in his Sabbath school told me that his older brother also was celebrating his birthday today.  That boy’s family sits in the same pew as I do.  I am 35 years old and have never come across another person with the same birthday as me and here this boy sits with me just about every week.

I thank God for his traveling mercies.  I was heading home on Thursday and was at a major intersection.  My mind was on another conversation when I decided to turn to go westbound but I didn’t realize I was turning into oncoming traffic.  The lanes I turned into didn’t have any cars…THEY ALWAYS HAVE CARS. I realized my error when I saw the left turn markings on the street were upside down.  I did an about face and had to wait for the green on my new side.  I then went down and did a proper uturn.  On Friday, I never expected my schedule would have me going to the same exact area.  I didn’t mess up this time.  That stretch of roadway is extremely dangerous and I’m sure I’m not the only person who did this but I beat myself up for making such a stupid mistake.  Can’t tell my family this especially after the accident I had back on 10/16.  Again, I was waiting at the intersection for the light to turn green when the truck hit my bumper while the light was still red. That was not my fault and insurance companies are playing games with me right now.  I’ll call around next week to see if I can get someone to schedule an adjuster to inspect my car.  My car has been totaled twice.  Three times a charm.

I praise God because on Friday also, I looked at my schedule and realized that my car was due to be inspected and that I didn’t have any other days to go get it inspected except for Friday morning.  I rushed out thinking I didn’t have a new registration.  I had searched before but couldn’t find one.  When I was halfway to the place, I checked again in my second wallet and the first thing I pulled out was the new registration.  I changed gps directions and headed to my inspection area.  I really thought the line would be long and I thought they would fail me.

There was no line.  They passed my car.  They didn’t count the damaged bumper or other issues with my car.

There were other good things that happened this week but these are the ones that stick out the most.

I was able to sleep in my home with my son for my birthday.  I avoided another disaster or rather I should say the Lord prevented another disaster on the road.  He permitted my car to be approved by inspectors and for me to not pay a second large fee for a new registration.  He also permitted me to go to church and to have a wonderful day in Him.  I even saw a beautiful baby boy dedication today.

I thank Him for another birthday.  We love Him because He first loved us  John 4:19 was the verse for today.  This is a new chapter in my life and I want to live my life loving Him more than ever before.

My mother told me that in her home town she heard on Thursday that a building had burned down overnight and no one knew what happened.  Then Friday the house at the top of our vacation property's short street burned down.  That house belonged to long time (generations) neighbors of hers and they had too turned their home into a vacation property.  My mother believes someone is going around looking at vacant seeming properties and is intentionally burning them down.  The area is extremely rural and you are hard pressed to see anyone walking down the dusty road in any direction.  My mother has been hoping to turn our vacation property into something amazing and she has been spending most of her time helping me get into my own house.  I believe in her dream (most of the family doesn't care much for it or want to be around each other).  I pray that no more fires occur and what ever caused the fire, who ever did it is caught.  I pray also that the family that lost their home at the top of the street will get the help they need.  Those homes go back I'm sure to the end of slavery times.  Please keep this in prayer and may you enjoy your Sabbath and week :)