A Wasp and Car Blessing

Happy Sabbath

God is good all the time.  I do not recall the exact order of events this week, but I do want to share that I had a great week.  I was able to go to the zoo with my son on Sunday (a zoo where you can get very close and personal with the animals and actually feed them by hand) and although he was difficult after the first 40 minutes of us being in the zoo, I was blessed to go and enjoy seeing some of God’s beautiful creatures.

On Monday, Presidents day, I had to make a decision about the car.  Statefarm told me to call them on Tuesday but I contacted my mechanic on Friday about what I might do and spent time Friday, Saturday night, and Sunday looking for cars that I would purchase.  I saw a nice bmw for a good price, but I don’t have BMW maintenance money so I decided to focus more so on suvs (Ford explorers with AWD or 4WD and the ford fiesta Hatchback).  I also looked at Kia suvs and liked what I saw.  On Monday at the park, I called the insurance company to double check what the settlement would be that they would give me if I decided to keep my car.  The number was actually higher than I originally thought.  I contacted my mechanic to ask if he could fix the car for below the price and he said yes.  I called Statefarm back and told them I planned to keep my car and after they did some more checking, the representative said I could receive an additional $250 because I was inconvenienced and I guess didn’t request to use a rental? 

God is good.

I played with my son for a long time at the park.  We climbed the “mountain” ( a really steep hill great for sledding) and caught a butterfly which I was able to photograph in my hand.

My mechanic asked during the week if he could order parts and then for a deposit.  I was able to see that they had already brought the car in the shop from the lot and started working on it.  He is only charging me $5200 for the entire job and the rest of the money is left over for me which is great and a blessing.  I put that money in a high interest savings account and will figure out what I’ll do with it later on.

I just praise God because even though this car is a 2009, it has so much going for it.  My first car I bought brand new in 2012 and it didn’t come with even half of what this car has.  During this accident it was valued about $3000 more than what my past insurance company was offering and when I spoke with State farm on the Friday the week before, they went through a list of features my cars has that I didn’t even know it had.  I didn’t even have to come up out of pocket to fix this car.  God has provided for me a vehicle at every turn when I couldn’t figure out a way for one. 

I received the settlement check on Tuesday and went to the bank where I made my decision to believe in Jesus for the first time back in 2006  (I had not been to that bank in years). I went to the same area (one table down because the very place I was standing back in 2006 was occupied by another person).  The bank was still set up the same.  I deposited the check and left the city early (flexed my time for the day) and went home. 

God is helping me to solve mysteries and find answers to problems.

Last night I was watching 3abn Dare to Dream network and enjoying some great singing and Bible study when I noticed a large insect fly through my kitchen.  It was a wasp and yes it is February.  I have gone through so much wasp and hornet spray last summer its ridiculous and I barely had any to handle this bug.  I took care of it but started wondering again how it got in, especially around 9-10pm at night. This was my wasp mystery.

I know the weather is warmer and used to think that they were coming from the window in the kitchen or the central air ventilation system.  If the heat is driving them out, it can’t be the ventilation system because I have that thing running high on 80 degrees all the time and have not seen not one this winter prior to yesterday.  I looked to the fan and then started to think that perhaps they were coming through the gap between the ceiling fan and the ceiling.  Looking at my balcony where I’ve seen wasps and bees go inside the cracks, it’s parallel to my kitchen ceiling; I photographed the wasp and looked online to identify what type it was.  It is a paper wasp and they are known for boring holes through wood and making nests in walls and sometimes ceiling fans. 

I taped up the base of the ceiling fan and will continue to watch it (I added more tape to the window, but that thing didn’t need it.  It’s sealed up great.  I plan to get some mesh for the vents and will let maintenance know that there is a nest because seriously, just about every day during the summer, I had a large wasp and or smaller stinging flies in my apartment and they all seemed to originate from the kitchen.  It puzzled me for the longest time because I don’t open windows and have been trying to figure this out since June of last year.

I praise God if I have officially located the cause and even if I have not, I praise Him regardless.

I went to church today and stayed almost to the end of the sermon.  My son started acting very bad so I decided to leave a little early. I am hoping to have my son join the Adventurers at church.  His Sabbath school teacher is still trying to make sure that other parents are going to be present and supportive, not just dropping their babies off as if it’s a day care.  My son needs this and I need it too.  I am hoping also to become a better parent.  He is really becoming a handful and very resistant to authority.  God is putting the right things and people along my path to help me do better and I am thankful for this.

So I praise the Lord and thank Him for a wonderful week.

Jesus is a Loving God

Happy Sabbath

I am not sure what the Lord is trying to accomplish in me right now as I am frustrated with the events of this morning, but it is Sabbath, I am home and I am going to worship Him regardless.

I had a good week this week.  Wednesday, I called the insurance company of the lady who hit my car to see if they received the police report yet.  I’ve been calling every week and when I called Wednesday, they told me it came in on Tuesday and they had the witness statement but they said they needed to call the witness to further confirm (despite this being sent by the police department and being reviewed by three different individuals-the person writing the report, the police supervisor and the transportation department for the state the accident occurred in).  She told me it could take any where from 3-10 business days before they would move forward with anything and that witnesses rarely answer the phone or return calls. 

However, God is good because I received a call not longer than 20 minutes later that they were able to speak with the witness and confirm to the umpteenth power that he saw the lady not stop at the stop sign and hit my car.  Then they told me it would take about 3 business days for a representative from Statefarm to be sent out to look at my vehicle.  I waited until Friday and saw an email saying there was an estimate available.  I called them (they were in no rush to call me because they don’t want to pay for the damages).  They tried to give me until the 20^th (a holiday) to decide if I wanted to retain ownership of the vehicle, take the settlement, or do something else.  I asked for the 21^st and they agreed and I shared the info with my mechanic.  This weekend, I am praying about this.  I could try to keep the car as I’m sure my dad would press me to do so.  I could accept the settlement and surrender it, and use the money to purchase a new car.  After Sabbath would be the time I could look for good prices on used cars in the area.  I don’t know.  I want a Mercedes so….

I was told by the Sabbath school teacher last week that she would not be at church today because of a Pathfinders event happening at another church.  I questioned whether or not I should go and on Friday, I decided I would stay home because I knew my son would not behave.  If a Pathfinders event is happening some where else, that means most if not all the youth will be over there too (so no one to help mellow out my son).  Friday, I also forgot to pick up his medicine from my parent’s home.  I began the Sabbath by reading texts in the little Bible Promises book I have from many years ago.  I turned at random and read the texts under Loving God, and Success. 

The theme of success or the search for success has been my theme for the week as I struggled to deal with work challenges; being invited to send my resume to a new agency where I could create my own director position, but realizing I just didn’t want to deal with the chaos and incompetence that has caused them to be seen in a bad light, kind of like the trump administration, but what ever.  Other agencies drew some blood too this week, but thanks to the Lord, I have been able to stay on top of it all and not be bogged down.  I have a nice job and it requires high detail orientation, a lot of driving, accountability, and leadership, but it doesn’t pay as well.

I entertained thoughts of home buying too.  I was looking on Trulia and I know that before I showed my son a photo of a house and he said he didn’t like it.  This time he did so I decided to send my email and phone number, not really thinking someone would call me, but expecting an email to get general info about the property.  I noticed the person was associated with the two individuals I called last year about properties in another town and I did receive calls and emails later on in the week. 

When I asked my mother about why she didn’t want me to take vacation time in April as previously requested, she shared her plans to take my son down with her down south to work on the property in NC.  She then talked more about her plans to do all this so that my son would have a place.  She is saving North Carolina for him. 

I remember conversations in the past where I told them I was saving money for north Carolina, that I planned to move there and out of all family, I was the only one who expressed interest in the property there but the responses have been nothing less than discouraging.  The other year, I decided to give up on the dream of moving there.  Every time I opened my mouth, it seemed like they thought everything I was speaking was nonsense and disregarded my genuine interest.  God answered my prayer years ago about going to North Carolina and I felt like it was a promise land for me.  I continue to ask if NC is still in my future or did I blow it because of the sins I committed that have caused me to go off course.  The Lord has been silent on this one so I am keeping my options open as far as home buying but very hesitant to make a decision until I know I have the Lord's backing.

To me, it doesn’t make sense for my seed to inherit the land when I am encouraged to purchase a home in my current state of residence.  If I do this, I know I will not have money to put towards the upkeep of North Carolina.  It is difficult to sell a home when you are trying to move by a certain point.  I would also be alone down there (no trustworthy family in the area) so I would have to seek out other child care, have a job that makes more money, and a good car. I'm not saying that God can't make this happen but I am saying that I can't see it right now.

I read those texts about Success and Loving God from the book and went to find my phone.  I found my phone and was surprised that when the screen lit up, it was open to the SDA hymnal application for page 279 Only Trust Him.  I didn’t open that app all week, but it was open some how for me at that moment.  My son watched videos on his tablet and was even watching one that involved shaping playdough with the song, "If you're happy and you know it, say amen."  I don't do the best job at getting my son to watch Sabbath appropriate material but I encourage him to go in the Bible app.  He was doing his own thing when he came across that video and it was nice to hear.  I sang the hymn shown on my phone quietly to myself, spent time praying about everything, and went to bed.

I woke up and my son’s first words to me were, “Jesus is a loving God.”.  He also said some other things that I couldn’t make out clearly, but he was talking about how God is king and he talked about a queen and then turned into gibberish.  These were his first words to me after waking up himself.  He started talking about church and I asked him if he wanted to go and he said yes. 

I was up an hour earlier than I typically get up on Sabbath to prepare for church.  I found an outfit to wear and set aside a green polo button down, tie, and trousers for him.  I went through mess trying to clean him up, put the tie on only for him to mess it up and I removed it.  He also tore my stockings with the rough edge of his shoe but I was determined to persevere. 

The time was so late that I decided it would be best to stop at my parents to pick up his medicine I forgot yesterday, get the leather jacket I wanted him to wear today (but was not in my coat closet where I expected it to be) and my mother gave me two lollipops to help keep him calm for church.  I also didn’t have the money I wanted to give to the Lord and if I’m honest, for appearance to others.  This too is something I’m praying about.  I want to be successful and appear to be extremely successful as a single parent but God knows where exactly I am sitting (next to the top of the trenches). 

Something I never do: I decided I would stop at a mart that has my bank’s atms inside just to get the money.  I got out of the car and a man wearing garments that I’ve seen certain religious Africans wear was standing in the parking lot loudly praising God.  I brought my son in with me and held the door for another guy who was talking to me telling me that it’s his first time back in town (and he was looking at the events unfolding in the parking lot).  I head to the atms to find both of them were out of service.  The guy who was talking to me was also headed for the atms and noticed and then he said “ of course” and some other words (focusing on the weirdness). 

I told him he could go to another one on the other side of town (not too far away) and in all my talking I never once looked at him.  I got back in the car and it just seemed to be more chaos (marathon bikers, strange people in other cars, aggressive drivers) as I went along the road to get to church. If I left on time, I would not have seen any of this. 

I arrived at church and asked my son to sit with me and I would give him a lollipop.  He acted as if he was in agreement, but of course he took the lollipop and decided to play Gi-Jo and crawl all over the floor of the sanctuary and stand on the pews.  I tried several times to get him to stop without spanking him and remained stern, but nothing made a difference.  I felt as though I would not be able to get the benefit of being there with my son running all over and thinking its okay to disrupt the service as he’s tried to before so I decided to put his leather coat on and we walked out, to the car and back home.  All within one hour. 

My son is in his bed asleep.  I am in the living room and it’s quiet.  I don’t know what to make of the things that happened this morning.  I had planned to stay home today and that’s what I should have committed to I guess. 

I remember the days I used to spend deep in prayer and enjoying the company of the Lord.  Today needs to be one of those days.  Where ever I can spend time with God, that’s what really matters and I hope that where ever "you" are at this time, you choose to do the same (at church, at home, at work, where ever you have a moment to talk to Him, do it).  None of us are perfect and I know for myself, I’m far from it.  Jesus is a Loving God and He forgives us even for the awful decisions we make. I’m giving my morning Sabbath frustrations to Jesus.  We have to give it to Him and He will make it alright.

I will praise the Lord because my avocado plants (I was about to toss one of them) both are growing.  My ginger tree is tall and growing more and more leaves (it's that tall it might as well be tree).  My Pothos is hanging in there and even though I used the wrong soil for my son's flowers, the beans, onion plant,  and what is left of my coriander plants, they are holding on. 

I was able to get the food that my son needed prior to Sabbath starting, attend my doctor's appointment, get a positive answer about the car from Statefarm, pay the big bills on time, and much more. 

It may not be me parting the red sea or walking on water, but this is my testimony for this week. God is good!

Parking Spaces

I want to thank the Lord for a good week and for helping me to go to church to fellowship with His people.  I was able to get things done this week without much event.  He kept me safe as I traveled and kept my son and family safe as they went about their daily business.

Today I went to church on time and brought my son to Sabbath school.  He was okay on his way to the church but once inside and after being denied the right to play with a flashlight or bell that were within reach of him, he spiraled out of control and didn’t return to baseline.  Despite this, I was able to sit in on an older adult Sabbath school study (my son invited himself into their room so….) still in session and hear two different arguments.  One of which a sister said that individuals are sanctified and justified simultaneously and the other didn’t believe it happens at the same time for all people and said that repentance needs to occur first.  The one who brought this up brought up 1 Corinthians 6:11 which says, “And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.”

I am interested in seeing what she brings in next week as there will not be a children’s Sabbath school due to a Pathfinders event taking place at another church so I can sit in (or at least try to if my son behaves).  The way I see it, sanctification is a process especially if we end up sinning again, as so often we do.  We have to surrender our will to the Lord to allow Him to resanctify us, renew our hearts. He chooses to justify us; He gives us the grace that saves.

  

We can choose to set ourselves apart and the Lord also selects us as something special to Him (even when we don't see it or are not ready yet to recognize it).

To me it doesn’t matter much if sanctification and justification occur instantly/simulatenously or at different times.  What matters to me is that the Lord’s will is done in my life as He wishes and at His timing.  To sanctify is to make pure and to set aside for a holy purpose.  When you are justified by God, God makes you free from the penalty of sin.  I am interested in hearing more and hope to be able to go to church and hear this next week.

I was also blessed to be able to sit with Hope and hear that she had a good week and I’m glad for it.  She shared more about her children and prayed with me and I even had an opportunity to talk to two more young girls (this person who comes to church has many children and they are in the same school district as my son). 

Prior to coming to church, I was looking for items to get ready and I went into a soft box (I have boxes for my 5x5 Kallax shelving unit I use for storing clothing and random items) and I came upon the credit cards I couldn’t find the other week. I had searched those boxes including the one I went in and couldn’t find the cards.  Two of the cards I needed were in there.  The most important ones I needed back in the end of January but couldn’t locate, I requested the credit card companies send me replacements.  I am thankful that I didn’t have to call about the other two and end up having to pay a replacement fee.

There is something I should mention though, I forgot about it.  For some reason one day this week was all about waiting, not sure as to why.

I was scheduled to see one of my clients on Tuesday and I reminded the manager that I was coming.  I came out to their house and the person was not there.  I waited 39 minutes before calling the manager who said she was at another meeting and told me she’d call right back.  She never did call back.  I waited past an hour and called again but the manager allowed my call to go to voicemail.  I was actually parked in the area for about 2 hours because I didn’t want to waste my gas going else where and didn’t want to have a car accident and have trouble explaining why I was not where I said in my schedule I was to be.  I decided I was not going to allow this provider to do this to me again (like they’ve done in the past).  I decided I was going to go home and reschedule the meeting.   

I drove and got stuck in traffic.  Two car accidents shut everything down. I ended up driving over a median (following two other cars doing the same thing because it was slanted) and went into the empty left turn lane to go to Walmart because I had to use the bathroom.  I had been sitting outside that person’s house for hours and then was to be stuck in gridlock traffic, so no way!   

I went in Walmart and used the restroom and decided to purchase some plant food for my kitchen crops and a Pothos plant to hang some where.  I noticed the plant food was on clearance for $5.00 so of course I picked it up.  I get in line for the girl to tell me that my $12 was to be $21 something and even after I went and took a picture of the shelf item and showed her, she said she had to get a manager.  She didn’t tell me that she was leaving at 6pm and made a half hearted attempt to call the manager.  She was even going to hold up all the people behind me in line to wait for the manager that she knew would never come and knew she wouldn’t have to deal with me because she was leaving.  I asked her to cancel the transaction while I waited and allowed her to ring up the other people before she switched off with the next person.   

The next person didn’t do anything so I decided to take the plant, the plant food, and the photo of the shelf and head towards customer service.  I stopped at another register prior to getting to customer service and the lady said she couldn’t help me.  I head over to customer service and wait, and wait some more.  Finally a man set up the register and gave me some attention and even after I showed him the photo and the item, he said he couldn’t do anything.  I waited still for a manager to come and they finally decided to ring it up as $5.  The manager said that if it had been more of the same items she couldn’t allow me to do the $5.  That’s not my fault, they had three of the items (including the organic food blend I selected listed on the shelf as $5).  I left and sat in the grid lock traffic some more before talking to my mother on the phone sounding frantic and tired and wanting me to come get my son.  I then decided to drive about 30-32 miles out of my way  (away from the grid lock) to get my son and finally head home.

The blessing that night is that when I got home with my son late I expected to have to park a field away from my apartment door.  The parking space was very close to my apartment and that never happens. God is good.  Even Thursday when it snowed really bad that morning and I drove to the train station, I was able to park in the very first parking space in the lot.  That too never happens. 

I don’t know why Tuesday was the day I had to play the waiting game, but God still blessed me with parking spaces.  I don’t know the lesson I was to get out of it or if my son will ever stop his tantrums and poor behavior in public settings.  I do know that this was a good week and God is good.  My son is sleeping right now.  I might go take a nap too.

Happy Sabbath )

God Provides

Happy Sabbath 

I am having a wonderful day today and had a good week too. 

I had a good talk with Hope (person I mentioned the other week) and she shared with me that her dad was serious in trying to have her husband deported.  Please pray for Hope, her husband, children and her parents.  We both have families that are similar.  As I may have mentioned last week, I have several narcissistic family members and it has done so much good for me to move myself away from them to regain my own peace of mind and confidence and to be in a quieter environment where I can focus on God. From what she has shared with me, she is dealing with what I used to deal with.  She has an impossible situation but there is only one Person who can handle the impossible and I know that He cares for her. 

As much as I try to separate myself, I am dependent on my family for childcare.  I also benefit with auto insurance and another narcissistic sibling has given me access to free internet.  If I made more money, I would choose to put my son in the YMCA day care program for before and after school.  I can pay for the auto insurance, but it seems like there is always a problem coming up and the money I expect to be there for one thing goes for another.  I live in an apartment that is about 1/3 more expensive than others I could easily afford in poorer neighborhoods.  I chose this apartment thinking I could send my son to the school system in the neighboring town, for child care, because of the neighborhood and cuteness of the town itself, and because there were no other places in this entire county that offered the space and amenities at the price that this place offered.  If I had my way, I would not have to ask my parents for anything, but God has it this way for a reason. 

On Monday, I drove off with the car my older sister gave my parents when she bought her dream car. I went to work after getting cleared by the doctor on the Friday prior and did my best to get everything rescheduled and lined up for the day.  I left the office with my forms for my meetings and when I arrived to the location where the car was, I went to open the door.  Now when I drove the car last year (I was waiting for my black ford to get fixed after a lady rear ended me after a turn) I couldn’t get the drivers side door to open with the key and didn’t bother.  I would open the other side and cross through to unlock the door. 

When I went over to my parent’s house on Friday, my mother showed me how to unlock the drivers side door (you have to put the key all the way, pull it out part way, jimmy it this way and that and then turn).  I did it on Friday with no problems after she showed me.  I did it on Monday morning when I took my son over prior to going to work.  When it was time for me to get in the car to go on my appointments to the same area I had the car accident, I put the key in and did as I did before.  I didn’t use too much force and continued to jimmy it expecting it to open. 

I twisted half of the key off in the lock. 

I ended up having to call my dad who was about 23 miles away to bring me the back up key.  I stood out there for 45 minutes waiting for my dad to come and it started to snow (wasn’t listed in the forecast, but okay).  It stopped before he came though.

Of course when he brought the key, he had to put me down as he usually does and I expected this abuse.  I said I would pay for a replacement key and I’m sure it will be about $200 since it’s a car key. 

I went on to my appointments and at the last place, all of a sudden snow was coming down very heavy and fast. I of course did not have what I needed to clear the car since I had followed a partly sunny but cold day forecast.  I went to the car and cleared it with some gloves and was able to head on home.

I just thank the Lord that I was able to have a car to complete Monday, Tuesday and all of my appointments and get home without any more issues.  I called the lady’s insurance company on Friday to see if they received the police report yet and they had not.  They were quick to volunteer-tell me that they were not going to pay for any car rentals until they could establish liability, but God’s good because He provided me with the blue little car.  The blue little car I couldn’t stand but works and was available when I most needed it. 

I have high credit card debt on my main card and prior to the accident I had decided on a plan to pay it off and wanted not to use it.  I planned on using my tax return to pay off the debt.  I have a high credit line on another unused card and low line on another but I was not able to find those two cards, my emergency card connected to my savings accounts or my credit union card for some reason (I searched practically every where).  No one took money off of the cards and so far I only requested two to be replaced.  If I wanted to put a rental on one of the cards, I wouldn’t have had it available any way, so the blue car truly is a blessing because I would have been shocked to my soul to go to a rental place find discover those cards were not in my wallet.  I remember taking them out of the wallet because I didn’t want to get robbed by someone on the street and they take everything I have. I also remember items falling out of my wallet when I was in the tow truck riding to my mechanic’s shop, but I picked up those items and searched the floor of the truck.  I don’t know where I put the cards but it’s okay because as I said I’m getting replacements. 

I went to church today (didn’t go last week) and was glad that I was able to go.  My son did somewhat well during Sabbath school and after children’s story, he decided he was going to run all over the place (pulpit included) and do some new things during the service. I am thankful for the people who stepped in to help keep him safe and in a proper place. 

I watched a video posted on They Overcame By and was surprised how much this lady’s testimony mirrored my own experience.  She went to school for nursing and was able to get a great job, but what I connected with most was her challenge with the cars and desire to get her son into an academy.  She too is a single mother and the way God blessed her encourages me.  I wish I had the money to send my son to an Adventist academy and it very well may be God’s will and in his future that he will be able to go.  Since first visiting the church I’m going to now, I learned about a near by academy and looked into pricing for a year’s tuition.  Last Sabbath, I listened to young people singing from an Adventist academy in British Columbia.  I’m not a doctor, lawyer, or nurse who can send my child to an academy or boarding school.  I’m on entry level social work salary so if my son ends up going to one of these schools, I know it’s no one but God who is able to make it happen. 

If I can’t get the car fixed for what ever they offer, I want to get a new vehicle.  I do have expensive used car dreams of an Audi, BMW, Mercedes.  One of my savings accounts is called Audi.  I like Ford but have been looking at more and more BMW’s on the road lately.  I find it funny that the woman who shared her testimony on that youtube channel said she was provided a BMW from family and ended up going with Ford (the BMW broke down and she was able to get the Ford with no money down after starting her nursing job at a nearby hospital).  God provided students to watch her infant son.  God provided free housing for her when she had no place in the area to live and promise of a place to stay near the school had fallen through even after she came with all of her belongings and child in the car. 

If you have time today, go visit their channel because people need to know that Jesus is alive and He is really doing wonderful things in the lives of people today. 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLPft0HhqJrlEjYxsSiXdvA

God knows what I need and what I want and I trust that He will do and give what is best for my life. 

So my testimony this week is that God provided me a car to use for work, kept me safe while out on the road amongst crazy aggressive drivers, that we were able to go to church and that I am able to see another bright sun shiny day.