The Lord is my Refuge

 Happy Sabbath

I know I said a lot for my post last week.  Some strange things happened this week and I told my mother everything.  I have to remain on guard and in prayer.  I'm home and plan to go lay down for a while and I'm thankful that even though things were weird and some things didn't go the way I wanted them to go, I am thankful that the Lord brought me through to this place in time where I can breathe and have some relief of it all.  While my son is away, I hope to complete some projects around the house.  I want to do some painting in my kitchen, finish rearranging and organizing his bedroom, see if I can wash an area rug, and make some other changes.  I need a new roof to my house with gutters and I will have to price that stuff out...maybe get that done next year, I don't know. I was able to get out to the gym this week.  I was also able to mow the lawn and get it looking straight.  I love being able to look out my kitchen window on a well manicured lawn and not be the odd one out on my street.  

I am also concerned about security.  I have a security system but I need to get something extra.  Not only do I have to concern myself about the weird neighbor behind me but I think I may have to worry about the front of my home.  I had thought my son tried to open up a credit card in my name because he was fully involved in the theft of $800 but it really looks like he was not.  

The person who tried to get the card used an old number of mine.  I have not had that number since before my child was born.  I changed that number to cut ties with my child's predator father.  

And another thing.

 I only had a situation one time before where someone opened up a credit card in my name without my consent or knowledge.  That person was my child's father and also, it was the same type of card.  The card account that was opened up this summer is the same account that was opened up more than 13 years ago.  

I had an uncanny encounter yesterday when I was mowing the grass.  I am severely nearsighted and have astigmatism and must wear my glasses.  I started mowing the back yard first because I wanted to get that over with quickly so I could limit as much time as possible as I could have to be near the weird neighbor.  Fortunately, he didn't come out when I was out there so maybe he was at work.  

I hurriedly mowed the backyard and then I passed the threshold of my fence line towards the front of my property when I noticed a man and a small child  (little girl) about 1.5-2 years of age on the sidewalk facing me.  

When I mow, I am fully geared up.  I wear a hoodie, gaiter mask, goggles, scarf to secure all this hair, headphones with my Reggaeton blasting to motivate me, sweat pants, gloves, and Tims to protect from the bugs, wasps that always try me, and the grass weed and debris that is kicked up in the air when I'm working.  I'd rather be a puddle of sweat by the end than to be sore, stinging, itching, and wheezing from the pollen and air debris.  

I saw the little girl so I decided to stay close to my house and not approach the side walk where they were.  I do this for every person who is near my house when I'm mowing or edging for their safety.  So I focused on the area around my bushes and recycle in but noticed that they continued to linger there.  

I was confused about why they were standing there and acted like I didn't see them.  I really just wanted to get my lawn finished and I was tired. My lawn on average takes me 2.5-3 hrs to finish.  The man then started walking a little forward and he and the little girl stopped again, but this time directly in front of my house.  Since they moved, I went ahead and mowed down to the side walk where they were previously standing.  I again acted like I was not watching but I noticed that the man appeared to be familiar.  

I also noticed this man point at my house and continued to linger with the little girl.  I continued mowing from my fence line down to the street and back and eventually he decided to walk off with the little girl. He did not linger or point at anyone else's house even though the two remaining homes on my street and on my side of the street had way more going for them by way of visual interest.  My neighbors have beautiful flowers, greenery, and the one directly next to me has their fall decorations up.  He did not point or stop to look at them.  

I then noticed that he and the girl crossed the wider roadway to the side that has no side walk and they stood there facing my direction and lingered for a bit. I was mowing the strip of grass closest to the street in front of my house.  They disappeared from view and I didn't know which way they went (whether they got in a car or continued up the side that had no side walk.  What was unusual about it was that when people walk around the neighborhood, or if they walk their pets or with their small children, they either turn left or right and remain on the sidewalks. They never cross the main roadway to that side.  The placement of my street compared to the others and choosing to walk over there makes it a very weird choice.  People walk around the block. That's just what normal people do.  

This man kept lingering first in front of me on the side walk and then in front of my house.  People tend to go on their merry way.  

I've never seen this man walking with a young child down here before.  I know the people who typically walk down here and he is not one of them. 

He pointed at my house. My house has no features that are just so amazing that people have to stop and look and admire.  The houses that have all that are the neighbors at the end of the street. The houses they didn't even bother to look at.

The man looked familiar.  He looked like my child's father.  

The only other time was last year when a man approached my door offering solar. I had arrived home with my son and when I got out the car, I saw an unfamiliar vehicle drive down my short street. I ordinarily don't stop to look but this time I stood there and watched them drive past my house and stop at the end of my street and park. I slowly gathered my items and watched this car sit there as I went in my house with my child. I had to set up my computer to complete my final virtual meeting of the day so when I got inside, I promptly did so and shut the front door behind me. When I was on the face time with one of my clients and someone started  knocking on my door and wouldn't go away. I was in the living room and loud so they knew I was right there and close to the door.  I was annoyed by the knocking and after I finished my virtual meeting, I went to the door to tell whoever was knocking that I was not interested.  I opened the door and didn't look at the person in the face at first.  When I did look at him, my brain could not compute what I was looking at.  I'm hearing him tell me he wanted to talk to me about solar, but I'm seeing my predator face to face.  I told him I was not interested and closed the door in his face.  I then saw him him go to his vehicle and sit there for what was around 20-30 min.  I didn't see this person approach any other house.  I saw no badge or clip board or anything.  I watched the car and tried to get photos and pretty much had a minor panic attack right there. 

For years I worked to get over the hurt and devastation I went through because of this person.  I've watched countless videos and read materials about sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissistic abuse to try to understand how I fell victim to a person like him. People thought I should stay connected if only to get monetary compensation.  But I prayed to the Lord and the Lord told me to completely break free of this man and have no ties with him. That is what I did and I have had years of peace because I followed the Lord's leading.  

I could be wrong about the person I saw yesterday.  But most of the time, I'm right and I hate that I'm right in times like these.  So I need to up the security on my home.  I have to continually check my mail.  I have to check my credit history to make sure no new cards pop up.  I have to change up my driving routine and leave at different times. I have to lock my doors in this peaceful neighborhood.  I have to lock my car doors when I return in the afternoon.  

I went to get my suv tires repaired and they told me that only one tire needed to be fixed because there was a puncture in the side wall.  They could not patch it because it was in the side wall. The mechanic told me it could have been a nail that eventually worked its way out.  I don't believe that.  You get nails on the bottom, not on the side.  I believe someone passing by purposely punctured my tire.  Now I have to park my suv closer up to my house.  Around the same time, my car started getting tire pressure sensor fault errors lighting up on the dashboard.  That car has had new tires for quite some time now and I never NEVER had that message pop up.  

I don't know who is involved if there is a who to be involved.  I just know something's not right, but I will walk with the Lord.  I don't have time to be afraid.  I don't have time to be afraid to step outside my house. I don't have time to be afraid of the weird stalker neighbor behind me or the predator from my past showing up at my door.  God gave me a life and I have to live it and I'm going to live it to the best of my ability.  There are other things I haven't brought up here, but God knows and these things will be on my prayer list.  

I had a weird week. I had a challenging week. But God is good.  He knows what people do in the dark and it will be brought to light.  He is my fortress, my shield and buckler.  The Lord is my Refuge and I will continue to put my trust in Him.