Walking With Caution

Happy Sabbath,

I had a good week and am having a good day. I am hoping to go out tomorrow and have a great day with my son even though he has been picking at everything that I do and there are other issues. I am busy busy busy and I am trying to figure out how to balance my time and make sure I don't get burned out. I have church responsibilities, work, family, it is increasingly challenging and I struggle to find time for myself. Someone approached me today asking about piano lessons for himself and I don't know why I said yes when this is the busiest time of my life. This of course is opening a door to the child I lent my keyboard to. I may very well end uo teaching both of them. I only have Fridays and Sundays available for now. I am offering Fridays as I try to keep Sundays open for me to recharge. I have not charged anyone for lessons in some years. My last was with an older lady from Cuba who offered to teach me Spanish and I her piano. Prior to that I had several children I worked with and was paid cash.   It's funny that this comes up as one of my full time work clients had asked me if I was still teaching piano when I talked about me taking on another job.  I am open to doing this with the guy who asked me today and since he is unemployed he could teach me French. A dream job of mine (one of the many) is to be a traveling interpreter for some kind of aid service like doctors without borders or people escaping war or some other crisis.  It would enhance my performance as a social worker and make me more marketable.  I do have to be cautious and skeptical.  For one, you are a visitor to our church and I think this is the second time I've seen him. He is unemployed and knew this but approached me asking if I could give him lessons. I didn't know at first..My mind was thinking I could do them for free because he is a brother in Christ but then as we talked he asked about payment and I racked my brain to think of a fair price for my time. Why ask for lessons when you know you cannot pay? Why were you out in the hallway for most of the service? I'm collecting my red flags. I like the idea of learning French. If things get weird, I'll pull the plug through. 

I am going to prepare for my afternoon nap and pack up for work tonight.  I have things on the schedule which include going to the zoo, the beach. and dropping off a keyboard at his house. I also have to get on a zoom meeting for planning a community event coming up.  I have to call the nursing home so schedule our church for next month. I don't mind making the calls and helping with organizing. Its the people pointing at me as the director or leader of anything I'm not ok with. I don't want the responsibility if things don't go to plan. I don't want the public acknowledgement.  I'm always under the radar, behind the scenes. I like that sort of thing.

I pray I don't make any dumb mistakes. I've been doing great and I do not want to mess anything up over extending myself.  The Message from the service was really good..HE tackled a difficult topic, the topic of sexual abuse and brought up the story of Absalam and his sister Tamar. He talked about issues going on in the church and spoke to the youth, adults and even possible predators because it is more common than we realize. It is one reason why I took my child out of the other church. I do not have proof but I had a feeling something was wrong especially with the way this church member was looking at the children..I would make sure I was in the same room with the kids if he happened to come in there. One lady had 7 children. I kept watching him waiting for him to mess up but he didn't,  at least when I was around.  Parents, know where your children are. You can't trust anyone. I remember nearly having a panic attack when he walked away with my son who was about 4 at the time. As soon as I finish the tune on the piano, I immediately went searching for my child. He didn't do anything but even today I feel if I had not stepped around, who knows what would have happened. There are pedophiles in the church, in our families and in our neighborhoods. There are also adult predators who try and test other adults. I was victim to a sociopath so I have a painful and expensive experience to look back on. Just be on your guard is all I'm saying. Trust in God. Don't trust in man. Be blessed 🙌