Police

Good morning and Happy Sabbath

I come on here every week and try to share something positive that the Lord has done or helped me with in my life. This was mostly a good week but last night was an especially hard night.

What started the Sabbath was my child not wanting me to hang out in his room with him. I wanted to talk to him since he had been out most of the day at school and with a visiting therapist.  To try to teach him boundaries, I told him that since he did not want me to be there (and he pushed me and wanted me out), I said he could no come in my room. I had no way to know that I would be struggling to hold a door and the police would come in  to save me from serious harm he was trying inflict.

It is 10:45am..I'm at my parents house and have a door barricaded. I lived a horror movie of an experience last night that I wish on no one. The hospital would no admit him because he calmed down upon entry. Now I'm living what so many of my clients have experienced with their loved ones. There are no words.

This blog is for positivity and God's grace in my life.

I thank God I'm alive this morning.  I thank God that my son did not hurt himself or succeed with his attempts towards me. I thank God for my parents.  I thank God I had a safe place to sleep in my parent's home. I thank God for my son's insurance. I thank God I was able to open those front doors before things got severely out of hand. I would have had either a busted front door or window from police having to enter the house. I thank God for the outpatient services that are available right now for him. I hope to make it to Friday for him to get his psych evaluation.  With everything that happened I am almost certain he is bi-polar, I have to get him help and I cannot live in fear in my own home.

I will get myself together and eventually leave this room. He started pushing paper under this door I'm behind now. I'll take a look and see how we can go forward.  My famous phrase, "It is what it is", I have to just keep going.  No matter how difficult life becomes. I'm numb right now. I have to be.  I'll work with God to handle this mess and numb myself to worry because only God can really fix this.