BP

 Happy Sabbath

I am having a good quiet and comfortable day at home.  My church had an event Sunday that I was able to help out with.  I went about helping with the set up and when I returned with some more items for one of the vendors, I met my parents at the area where they were administering covid vaccinations. Before I was to sit down and get the booster I decided to have my blood pressure checked. My pressure has historically been high and mainly so because I don't consistently take my medication and I like my food to taste like something.  I sat down as my dad was getting his booster on the other end of the table and they told be a reading they were greatly concerned about.  They were so concerned, they said that I should go to the ER.  Of course I declined that and decided to go home and try to rest for a bit and take that medicine that I never take.  I went home and took a nap for about 2-3 hours before heading back out to try to assist with packing things up.  The people who did the vaccines were gone but there was another table by another medical team that was still doing blood pressure. I had my pressure checked again and it was incredibly higher than before. The people who knew what was going on refused to allow me to carry anything, packed my car with my belongings and sent me on my way. I went home and tried hard to rest more as I had more anxiety around what was going on. My dad went an purchased an automatic blood pressure reader and I have been trying to limit my sodium intake and take my medications to control the BP. So far my numbers are looking good and I am thankful for the opportunity to check my BP and see how bad it really was. 

When I had my fourth covid booster shot, I believe I developed a rash or hives the very next day and it stayed with me for a few days.  It is so hard for me to take medicine and so when my mom presented me with two benadyl pills with no box providing directions and her straight away telling me to take it, I took both trusting her judgment.  Later that day I struggled to keep focused on my work and it took everything out of me to just post three service notes.  I had to retire for the night and the next morning I still was not feeling right so I worked from 4:30am to 6:30am and took off for the rest of the day. I spent the day cleaning up around the house, watching tv and dancing.  When I had tried to check notes early that morning I saw I was writing stuff in the system and clearly not in my right mind so I have to go in and fix the notes which I can do Monday.  I thought it was burn out but it was actually due to Benadryl I took. I never had such an effect in my life and don't want that to happen again.  I took it while being sleep deprived and felt like I was having an anxiety attack. 

So my week has been focused on my health and trying not to stress out.  Today, plans at church were very different mainly because of the lack of communication from church members leading out service. I'm sure they were disappointed that I did not jump out of my house and race over in my car to meet and support them but I am not going to be doing such things any more.  I am not putting my health or my son's health and safety at risk.  I talked to my son and continue to talk to him about things he needs to be aware of.  We will be worshipping in out new location next week and I look forward to it but I am not going to throw caution to the wind.  There are many great and kind people but only God truly has our backs.  I thank God for keeping my son and I through this week, helping me with my blood pressure and for what He will do at this new church location we will worship at.  There is much around to discourage and CONFUSE us and others but I don't have time for that.  May the Lord shut all of that mess down. May His purpose and goals be realized and Name be glorified through our obedience, persistence and growing faith.

Christ and Only Christ

 Happy Sabbath

Some things happened this week that got me feeling down.  My cousin is dealing with a terrible situation which I cannot speak much on this platform. I pray for restoration and reconnection to be made in all of that and for the health and safety of the victim to be secured.  

My other cousin who has cancer needs so much and is slowly getting services/supports in place.  For what is working I thank God for it, but her situation still needs much prayer.

I am thankful that my mom received a clean bill of health. She was concerned about possible cancer for her but no issues were detected so I know she is relieved.

My work schedule is affected because we picked the wrong dates for vacation and I still have points on my record that I expected to be removed due to an approved LOA.  I will try to check again later this evening but my status continues to remain in jeopardy and the upcoming vacation we had set up months ago might not happen.

This at church, things at work, many things not working out and falling apart.  

I partially listened to the sermon today but I was annoyed and bothered by other things that were going on.  I won't go into detail for those things either but I have decicded that I am no longer going to sing for service.  I will try to help out with things where I can, but I am not going to try to be something I am not and do things that I lack the skill have no strength to do.  I am content operating in the background and am trying to get back to that space because that way, I won't have people having such high expectations and then tossing me aside when greater and better comes along.  I attended a meeting yesterday and there were decisions made and a comment was made by the pastor which he immediately followed with the words to me, no offense. But I am offended.  I'm offended but I'll get over it.  I am not chosen for certain tasks.  I don't want it to be highlighted for everyone that I am not selected. 

People say they prayed for a pianist and I came a week later.  I didn't pray about that but they say they are certain I was an answer to their prayers.  With that, I will simply be a pianist, do what I am supposed to do and stay in my lane.   

Back to the situation with my cousin, I shared a situation in desperation searching for help and equally prayer for his situation but only one person said they would pray about the situation.  No one else responded.  No one said anything and that tends to happen.  When I am dealing with or my family is dealing with something devastating, there are crickets but there are trumpets for everyone else.  I don't know why that is, but the one thing I know is I have one good friend I can go to.  My supervisor called me and I was in the middle of dealing with my cousin's crisis.  Can you believe my supervisor laughed?  I get that people are racist and don't care but I didn't expect her to chuckle at the predicament. 

I have one good friend and I am thankful that He is my friend.  As I go through these things I am trying to help my son to see that we both have the same friend and that he needs to go to Him too.  It is a shame one cannot rely on anyone in the nuclear family, so called friends, or even church/community members who make all these pledges and vows to help those in need.  Trust in God.  People will fail you, disappoint, and abandon you.  People will discount and discard you.  They will forget you and they may even betray you.  I tried telling my son some things and he I guess was too upset to hear so he didn't want to hear any more and that's ok.  People are terrible but God is so wonderful.  I hope and pray that you strengthen your relationship with Jesus.  He really is the only one we can go to and our one and only true friend.  I don't believe in alot of things people talk about as far as relationships in this life. Those things fail and you'll end up with rope burn, rashes, bruises, and an empty fridge or some other random nonsense, but with God, you can trust Him with your entire life.  Be His friend. Spend time with Him and no matter what happens to you and to me, it must be Christ and Only Christ.  

Be blessed and go with God today :)

Back to School

 Happy Sabbath :)

Keeping this short.  I had a good week and saw some different things happen and am glad to see and know that the Lord is very present and still moving in my life and the lives of those I care about around me.  My son had to go back to school on Wednesday and the evening before I decided I needed to do a special prayer for him before he goes.  I went on to pray that prayer and asked for the Holy Spirit to be with my son in his journey through the 4th grade and as I prayed, I noticed a bright light was in front of my face while my eyes were closed. I assumed my son was playing around with a flashlight or something he had but didn't stop to reprimand him and continued to pray. When I opened my eyes, things were as normal and I spoke about the flashlight to which point my son responded that he didn't have one and was confused about what I was asking about.  There was no flashlight.  

I have been watching testinonies from various people about how they came to Christ and heard heart breaking stories of struggle and years of terrible decisions they have made or others made towards them.  Since watching them I have been encouraged by what I have heard. Some testimonies were a bit out there but I enjoy seeing how the Lord is able to reach people who seem even the most unreachable.  

At this moment, my church sis is leading an initiative to reach people out in the community. I pray that this will be a success and more members will participate to assist. I had said I would go but then I saw the time that everyone was expected to meet.  I have to work tonight and I always shut down by 4pm for other events.  It is 4:38pm right now and I'm late in getting to bed to take my nap for work tonight.  She called me and wondered where I was and told her why I didn't show but recall hearing others were going to show so I do hope they come out.  Few in number or many, may their effort be blessed by the Lord and may many souls be reached as a result.  

My son is healthy and doing well. My family is doing better and my son participated in his first communion service today.  I am looking forward to doing more and helping/seeing my son grow in the Lord and increasing my commitment to God.

Happy Sabbath and have a great weekend :)

Labor Day Blessings

Happy Sabbath and Good afternoon

Challenging week this week but I am thankful that the Lord brought me through it. My son started out with great difficulty and I ended up having to take away privileges. The enemy tried to use that as an opportunity to turn us against each other even more but I am glad to say things are improving between my son and I and we are doing better. We have bonded more on some things and are having better quality time together. I took things away from him after he was disobedient and caused harm to someone else. The enemy decided to use his wackiness to put a video on my YouTube feed to attempt at influencing my son for evil but that was shut down right quick. We have to watch our children and make sure the content they are consuming is safe. Any moment the switch can be flipped and they are under constant attack. I am doing what I can to help my son live a righteous life and do what is right under the sight of the Lord.

I am thankful for this vacation I can take. I cancelled a trip I intended for this weekend due to his behavior and think it is the best to do seeing as that costs are higher and we don't need to be out in crowds throwing our money down then drain.  I lived that life hard last year. The funds that I could throw into entertainment now are going to investments and improving what we have. I could have been so much further ahead had I not lost my mind on shopping sprees and NYC. I am much happier spending my time at home and with my son.  We can go bike riding, walk through the park, picnic in the backyard and so much more closer to home.

Please keep us in prayer. I hope that you will have a blessed labor day weekend if you celebrate and have time off. Happy Sabbath to you. 

Fixing My Focus on Jesus

It is 12:03pm. I am on break and listening to the song you are the sunshine in my life sung by the Clark sisters. The store never plays gospel music. Actually, the store never has the music on overnight. We have to bring our own music. Some listen with earbuds and others with their phones blasting their ratchet music. Right before this I was watching someone who has the most scandalous story times for herself and for her subscribers. I shouldn't be watching this mess. I heard her story about being inappropriate with someone of the same gender and as I was listening and moving through the store doing my work I also noticed a clearly homosexual manager moving often near my area. Clearly this is the enemy trying to influence me. I am thankful for the song that played over the speaker a moment ago to set me straight. Just because I like how she tells stories does not make it OK for me to continue listening in on things that are clearly sin and really everything she talks about involves it. So I have to let that channel go. My break is nearly over but I just wanted to share this. The enemy is always out here trying it. Be aware of what you are looking at and careful of the things you consume. I have alot of work to do on myself. If you pray for me, pray that I have more discernment and awareness and that I remain committed to Jesus. I was baptized on September 1st in 2007. I need to recommit myself again and release the nonsense.