Challenging Times

 Happy Sabbath

I am having some trouble with my son respecting authority and need prayer for this.  He thinks that I am on par with his friends from school or other peers and he is getting some awakenings he is not ready for.  Despite this and actions that I have taken for something else unrelated, I have to still say that God is good.  I don't deserve His mercy and covering.  I don't deserve Him to carry me through these issues.  The war is on in so many parts of my life from home, church, and even at work.  I have to remember to check my armour and make sure that I have it on, not simply near by because I am making mistakes that I shouldn't be making.  May God be with you into the new week and make sure you step into this evening and into tomorrow prepared because we have a while to battle this out.  Keep your armour on.  Keep the faith and no matter what, even if you sin, know with every breath you have moving forward, repent and seek God.  Keep His commandments and love the Lord your God because this is the whole duty of man.  This is man's all and all that we need to be concerned about. 

Happy Sabbath again :)

Happy August

 and Happy Sabbath

This month is quickly drawing to a close and I am thankful for a great month so far and the things the Lord is doing in my life.  Yes, my son is mis behaving and trying me but even in this moment I choose to remain thankful and stay positive.  

So I don't have COVID but am not absolutely certain if I didn't have it.  In order to get my leave of absence approved, I have to have forms filled out by my doctor so I will see about that next week if possible.  I have a lingering annoying cough that I am trying to get rid of.  Today I was back online with my church family and able to sing and play piano as I used to.  I did have to cough but it was not as bad as I expected it to be.  

I had a heart to heart with my son this morning and talked to him about God and how the Holy Spirit has been present in my life and gave him some true life examples.  Something that happened this week also included the Holy Spirit.  Thursday, I had a long day at work.  My sister from the west coast came in that afternoon and after I returned from my appointments I stopped to get my son, greet her, returned back home and went on to finish my notes and referrals for the day.  As soon as I finished, I was delirious and decided to lay down for a little bit.  I had so much undone but was too tired to even do anything about it or even look out for peacock who often comes by twice a day to get his bird seed. Peacock (aka Pierre) has also encouraged Pedro and their weird cousin/brother peacock bro to come over to my yard. I can tell them apart by Pierre being the smaller but most comfortable around me (so much so he nearly could eat out of my hand, he lets me be that close to him), Pedro who loses everything when I so much as blink or cough in his direction and he takes flight, and the opportunistic cousin who may have had his feathers cut off with scissors (he has a perfectly even cut straight across the back so I believe he has had more contact with people than anyone.  He was not afraid of me when I put food out and he is much bigger than Pierre.  I mainly only see Pierre though and this thursday, I didn't see him in the morning before I left out for my appointments or the afternoon.  

I headed to my room to lay down and set the alarm and saw my phone light up with a call from a church sister.  I was so tired I told myself I would absolutely not take any calls or answer any, I didn't care what it was for. I ignored her call and set about trying to get a one hour alarm in the phone set up but the sound was not working.  I was confused and felt it had something to do with my church sister calling but I was determined to lay down. I had bought a back up alarm clock in the event my phone starts acting strange like it was that moment.  I set the back up alarm clock and went ahead to lay down.  That was about 6:50pm thursday night.  Friday, I did my work and finished my stuff by 11am.  I decided to mow the lawn, water the plants and set up chairs and a blanket under the crab apple tree so I could relax and read a magazine between my newly planted rose bushes in the shade.  I noticed a texted on my phone talking about a tour of our new church and believed they were talking about it occurring Friday. At first I said I wouldn't go and almost didnt go by my parent's house to attempt to spend time with my sister.  My sister from the west coast is very narcissistic but she seems to enjoy my son and my son wants to spend time with her.  I decided to try to let mess go and spend time with her but she is on pacific time and has a tough corporate job and had to do work while we were there so even though I stayed for many hours, she was still working very late. 

When I got there, I was surprised that my parents went straight to asking me about how church was going and what we were doing up at the church.  This is not a normal question they ask and I had glanced at the text message about us doing a tour so I felt it was okay at that time to share that we had a new place.  I had changed my mind about the tour and decided I was going to go since we were out close to the area anyway.  I sat and did a singing session with my mother and we sang gospel songs.  She has always had a beautiful singing voice but she doubts herself now because of a change due to thyroid surgery.  I ended up leaving with my son to find the church and as we sat and the clock struck 7pm, I looked down and noticed the date of the text about the tour.  It said Thursday, 8/18, not friday.  The tour occurred the day before.  It wasn't until later I realized that everything that happened when I was trying to go to sleep, my church sis calling me, my cell phone alarm refusing to set and work at 6:50pm, I believe it was the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention so that I could go with my son to do the tour.

To be honest, feeling the way I was feeling, I don't know if I can say if I knew the Holy Spirit was trying to get my attention that I would have immediately jumped up and headed to the address they gave.  I thought the church was actually another building but it was at building that I remember in my earliest memories that my parents took my sister and I to in search for a Christian school when we were children.  My parents decided not to send us there.  At this time, a spanish day care runs out of that side.  They are open to our congregation and I am excited about what we will be able to do in this new space.  It's a great location and I look forward to worshiping in person with everyone again.  

My son expressed his fears about the spiritual world and things that have been bothering him and I took time to talk to him about the power and love of God as well as the Holy Spirit's work in my life.  I often don't offer commentary when in Sabbath school but I was impressed to speak on what just happened to the church as an example.  God also used one of my church brethren to share an important message today.  

Know that you are never alone.  We are thrown all sorts of things and what was spoken about hit me on so many levels from the person who delivered the message today for service.  He was hit with tragedy and my family  is going through something eerily similar but no matter what it is, continue to trust and seek God.  Trust in Jesus.  Look up to Him.  My cousin likely has stage 4 cancer too. She has lung cancer and it spread all over her body and is affecting her knees and other parts.  Her son who she has cared for got into trouble years ago. A type of trouble that if I were to speak on, many would say his actions are absolutely unforgiveable.  There is much going on with that side of the family and I purposely do not want my son to be near it because he will be damaged by it.  Every family has their dark secrets and troubled past and present but no matter what evil people have done, no matter how deep the muck we are standing in, the Lord sees us and He loves and wants to save us, to save you.  

The Holy Spirit is here with us.  He is your Comforter.  He will lead you into all truth.  He will guide and protect you.  I have known Him as One who has revealed truth in some crazy situations.  I have known Him to guide me towards the right path.  He has alerted me to things I forgot and has my back even when I don't deserve Him.  I have seen His work and am thankful that He is here.  May the Holy Spirit be with you the reader and may you be blessed and never ignore His calling and direction.  I don't want another thursday to happen again.  I don't want another time when He speaks through someone at church and I ignore the warnings.  I ignored last year and pretty much was knocked flat on my backside and it was my own doing.  Do not ignore God.  

May you be encouraged and blessed.  Isaiah 43:5

Or Maybe Not

 Happy Sabbath

I am feeling better this week.  I took off work after being told by my employer that I had to so I did.  Friday I was scheduled to take a COVID test at a pharmacy so that I could get clear electronic results I could submit to work.  I don't know how I did this but somehow I had the wrong time in my head and arrived 30 min late, but I was able to get a test done.  I was disappointed to hear that I would have to wait 2 days to get my results. I had told my part time that I would be getting the test Friday and had hoped to submit results by then.  I came home and decided to take one of the at home COVID rapid tests and it was not long until I saw the line show up on the letter C again.  Surely that means I still have covid right?  I thought about giving my son a test but something made me pull out the instruction packet and look at it more thoroughly this time.

See the first time I took the test, I was on my parent's front porch with teary eyes and runny nose trying to make sure I followed the instructions to a T.  No pun intended but it was that T that I was missing if any of you have gone through the process of doing your own test.  I saw the solid line on the C line and was convinced I was a positive COVID case.  I had all the symptoms from the severe sore throat, fever, cough and even loss of taste and sense of smell.  I had something almost like chills and lethargy.  I went through a lot so I know it wasn't all in my head.  

When I did the rapid test the second time, I made sure to get the stick all the way up in my nose and get all the mucus and anything that my be clinging in my nasal passages.  I turned the papers around and looked for how to know if you have a positive test.  There it was on the back of the instruction manual.  A single line at C alone means negative. If you have a line for C and a line for T, then it is a positive case.  If it is T alone, the test may be faulty.  

I don't know still if I even had COVID. Going off of the results of the first test and yesterday's test, that tells me I never had it, but why did I feel so awful?  I am still dealing with remants of a cough and took medicine for the first time today in an attempt to try to stop the cough.  I am terrible when it comes to medicine.  Medicine will sit in my fridge until it evaporates (it has done so many times).  I prefer for my body to do what God designed it to do and fight the illnesses/issues plaguing me.  The fevers, cough, sneezing, all of that has a reason (to expel what is creating issues in your body).  

I was so convinced I had COVID, I dropped groceries in the store and left. I held my breath passing people with masks on for fear of spreading this to them.  I have stayed home and stayed away from loved ones.  I had a lot of uncertainty and concern that things were going to get worse for more people than myself and here it is quite possible that I didn't even have it?  What is worst of all, I told my jobs I had it.  I have been off work for a week from my part time and they don''t play with fake reports.  When I took my first test, I didn't think about taking a photograph of the test.  If I did take a photo and send it in, anyone familiar with the test would have called me a liar.  I could potentially lose my job for false reporting.  I still don't know.  I am waiting for my results from the pharmacy to come in.  If they come in by 5pm today I will move accordingly (if negative, I will report to work but if positive, I will continue calling out).  I just hope that I don't lose my job as they have not approved my leave of absence yet for this.  If they approve my leave, they will take my time off saved up which I set up for October.  I will have no emergency time left for emergencies as a result of all of this.  I started to not say anything at work about being sick and I wish I didn't because I would not be dealing with all of this.  

I hope I can go back to work and begin accruing vacation time again.  I hope that I don't get sick again from what ever.  I wish I read the instructions more clearly and if I did, I wouldn't be in all this and the fault is squarely on my shoulders.  God knows my heart and I wanted to do the right thing.  Please pray that everything goes according to His will and that I am able to come through all this in the end. 

With this I am going to give some attention to my son who is making a mess and needs to stop.  I will wait for 5pm and check results and if no results come, I will call out.  I thought I had COVID but really it is a maybe not moment. 

Covid and the Creek

Happy Sabbath,

I am at the park with my son trying to get fresh air. We both tested positive for Covid and this is the reason why I didn't attend service last week.  My throat was so sore I couldn't sing and now I'm dealing with a headache that keeps coming back.

I will not complain though. I am able to sit here by the creek and listen to the water lap along the shore..Periodically we get big waves that cause my son to retreat. The Sabbath is to be a delight.  I want him to enjoy the Sabbath and to appreciate the beauty that God has created around us. From the birds and butterflies that are coming over to the rustling of the wind through the trees, it I absolutely beautiful out here. There are bees that are freaking me out but I am trying to brave them.

I thank God for a beautiful week even with sickness. I thank Him for my family and other comforts HE has provided me. I want to take time to watch my son and listen to the sounds of His creation and keep this time as it should be.

Please pray for our recovery and that we do not spread it to anyone else.

Happy Sabbath