Season of Thankfulness

 God is good.  I am thankful for these days I can have off with my son.  I took off 2 additional days from my main gig and my part time didn't schedule me as I expected so I was off for Thanksgiving night and able to enjoy it with my family.  I had hoped that my little sis would come for Thanksgiving at my house, especially because she is at odds with mom and dad and I didn't want her to be alone but she chose not to come. So instead, I decided to move my travel time to their house at the time I had originally set aside for her.  

I am a plant based vegetarian which uses the label vegan to avoid having the long discussion of what I do and don't eat. I do eat honey and am not strict about my sources of food coloring or vanilla flavoring but intend to tighten the reins on that this season.  I am not an animal activist.  I support family and others who want to eat meat and dairy products but choose not to put that stuff in my own body due to what I have read about in the Bible, my own negative experiences with them, and also because veggies are just so delicious and there are endless creations in the kitchen with them.  Last year I made my own version of slow roasted chicken in my crock pot.  My parents loved it and so I decided this year to try my hand at lamb.  I bought lamb breast and put together my own blend of seasonings and rendered it for a good 12+ hours in my crock pot.  They loved that as well and the scraps they gave to their back yard cat that comes around every day looking for free food. The cat was really getting into that meal.  I guess next year I could try quail or I could do salmon...my crock pots solves all challenges and mysteries.  It can fix all issues.  Salmon or steelhead trout with rice and roasted veggies..hmmm.  And perhaps I could bring a vegan option for them to try to.  I am just thankful that the lamb turned out well and I was able to make other dishes too like these vegan stuffed shells, cupcakes and I gave them some of my home made toffee (real butter originally made for my son, of course I can't eat it).  My aunt taught me years ago about making toffee and I have made that as well as toffee brittle and even jumped on the dalgona train and did a basic dalgona and one with chocolate too.  Too much sugar for these diabetics and almost diabetics.  

I am thankful that I was not scheduled thursday night because I was able to at the last minute take my son to see the movie Encanto which just became available in theatres on Wednesday in my area.  This was his second trip to the movie theatre and now I think I'm going to have a routine with him where we go to the movies at least once monthly for movie night.  I encouraged him to bring snacks in but decided ultimately to get the theatre popcorn and soda so he can have the full experience and it was a lovely night.  

I am thankful for many things but last but not least, the gift that Jesus gave by giving up His life for me.  I was able to partake in communion today and am thankful for this life He has given me.  I don't know all of what He has planned for me.  On monday I was approached by a person at work and didn't realize who it was at first. It turned out to be the husband of one of my church sisters and he was picking up items for the babies who were sick this week.  I helped him find the potato chips he was looking for and got his committment to sing today during service and for a concert I have to organize next month.  I also was approached by a coworker who appears to glow and is just wonderful to be around every time I see her. Reason for that is because she is a Christian.  She asked me about serving sizes as she intended to cook thankgiving meals for 40 plus people and I did my best to give advice about that from what I knew about my church family and how they throw down in the kitchen.  Both experiences in the same shift.  Not sure why.  Usually I am dealing with people being inappropriate or talking about what they thought they heard about me.  It was nice conversing with both of them.  I do have to say I was surprised by the brother's exchange.  I realized that he was not an adventist as I had once thought. His wife is and now things kind of make sense now with why he was not showing up when we expected him to.  May the Lord be with their family and help them because I know it must be frustrating when the person you are closest to doesn't believe how you believe.  If He can reach me, He can certainly reach him.  There is so much for all of us to learn and I am still on this long journey of learning and accepting truth in my life.  

There was a reason I had those exchanges that shift and I look forward to more experiences like that where I am encouraged to share my faith and encourage others to follow Christ.  I was distracted but we gotta get things back on the right track.  I am thankful I have an opportunity to do so.

Happy Sabbath :)

Appreciating and Remembering

 Happy Sabbath

I have a warm comfortable home. I am able to spend time with my son and get rest.  For the moment, I checked my part time work schedule and see I am not scheduled to work the holiday. Crossing my fingers but still am thankful that the karen who was working at my job before is no longer there so she can't force me to work a day that is not apart of my regular schedule. 

I am thankful for PTO and that I can take off as much time as I want from my full time. I intend to be off Wednesday through Monday of the following week after thanksgiving.I was able to find lamb in the store and get it before shopping became too difficult. I have it in the freezer as I intend to make a lamb dish for my parents for the thanksgiving day dinner and if my sister comes earlier in the day, she can try some earlier in the day for the lunch. I love slow cooked meals and next week is my week to get into it.  I intend to make a cake with my son and I'll do a pie as well among many other things. The alternative style of cooking that us plant based vegetarians get into with the exception of the lamb of course.  

I went to Target and was able to get some lights and a super long garland which I used for the entrance for the hall way and put lights into the garland I had up over the window year round and never took down.  I am decorating for winter, not christmas.  I have so many good memories of Christmas time but know that Christmas itself is a pagan holiday that I cannot get into.  I will not get a christmas tree.  I do exchange gifts with family.  It's hard to work around when I have a son who is into every pagan situation including Halloween. I remember the smells of pine and spruce, cedar and peppermint.  I remember happy music, smiles, snow, good food, and the joy of being together with family.  Those Hallmark movies.  The Nutcracker and other movies with Frosty the snow man and stop motion animation like that in Gumby, those were favorites if not traditions in our home around this time of year.  Motown playing on the radio holiday favorites.  I want my son to think back on his childhood and have great memories of growing up and I want to provide him with all of it.  

I'm still looking out for an xbox S series and saw one at the original price I was going to do but I would have to drive at least an hour away to get it.  I don't know if the place still has it.  I could just wait until after december and try, I did get him a computer so he will be excited about that when he sees it next month.  Playstation 5 is still not being made fast enough.I just want him to have the world.  

I had a heart to heart with God this morning. I hope He changes those issues within me.  I indeed have issues.  I sat and looked at what I was pursuing and what I wanted to have.  I looked at places I wanted to live with my son and found the houses I looked at prior to the one I am living in now.  I am still working on this place and it continues to come along and is absolutely beautiful.  I plan next to get myself a good nail gun and want to do some board and batten or wainscotting throughout my house especially after I saw some videos of how simple the project can be.  I am looking forward to doing that.  The house I tried to buy, they took off the market.  I had prayed to the Lord believing I would get that house, number 34.  I didn't understand why I didn't get it.  I put down an offer and they decided to remove the home from the sellers list and not offer it to anyone.  I prayed about it and believed God said I would have that home.  I have to talk to Him about why I didn't see it right.  I know I have an issue when I pray for something and I forget certain details of what I prayed for so I have to go to God again and bug Him a 2nd or 3rd time about the issue so that it is clear to me.  I was so certain I told family and friends who were doubtful.  

I don't know what happened but what I do know is the Lord opened the door for this one. I could have been discouraged when that house was removed from my options.  But I wanted to have the Lord pick the right place.  I saw another house that seemed amazing but I was given a dream that I should not get that house.  I cancelled my viewing and my mother was upset with me.  I settled on this one and people didn't understand.  I look back and see that the offer I made for this house was the exact same as who ever bought the first one.  I have over 3000 more sq feet in land space for my current property.  I am in the best neighborhood in this town.  My property value has more than tripled since I purchased my home. If I were to see, I'd leave with a pretty cash sum and some to do what I want.  I showed my son the homes of the others but and even though that victorian one still pulls my heart, I wouldn't trade this house, my house for any of them.  

God knows what He is doing from houses and jobs, to what is happening at church and every part of my life.  I just need to sit back, wait and trust in Him.  And spend more time with Him.  I hope that you will do the same and enjoy your time with God. 

God is good :)

Bothered

 Happy Sabbath

I don't want to come on here being all negative and stuff.  I am thankful for a good week. I came back to work this week and it was not all total chaos and unbearable.  I had some successes and some low points, but all in all God is good.

Today was a little different because a church member decided to go past me and set up something when I had already made arrangements for the service.  I am bothered when people tell me it is my responsibility to do something and when I am doing the work for it, they dismiss any authority I was given to do that work and go on with their program.  Why ask me to do this or that when you were just going to do your own thing and not really include me anyway?  I always try to make peace so I allowed the change to happen, but my heart, my mind was not in it for the rest of the program so I decided to log off and listen to something on Dare to Dream network.  

I was also bothered a bit when a client's family member who was aware of what strings I was trying to pull and the work I put into finding a safe place for her daughter came at me as if I didn't try anything at all and really the family was responsible for all of her success.  Pretty much telling me that I was utterly useless.  Other people would be quick to try to salvage that relationship.  I, however, am not operating that way any more.  I quickly got the ball rolling to part ways.  I only jumped on the case because they were disatisfied with how others were treating them and that they were not able to get help.  With God's help I was able to get her into a place when every single other place I called refused to take her.  I did other work and bent over backwards, but there are some people you just can't please.  She ruined everything that was set up.  She turned everything down that was working.  I am not taking the blame for that.  So yes, I was a little bit bothered that the mother came at me the way she did, but it's okay.  I'm not dealing with that any more.  

There are other things but I will stop there.  I'm home, we are safe. I had something good to eat.  I will press on and keep it moving.  I am thankful that I can keep it moving.  I am thankful that I am moving. 

I am looking forward to doing an escape room with my sister and my son tomorrow.  Other good things are to come and I'm going to get from being bothered and get on being encouraged and inspired. 

Bonus post

 It is after 10pm tonight and I am off from work from my part time.  I told my son if he did this one thing I would spank him (in not such a nice way).  I made the mistake of showing him a video of some people doing martial arts and handling light sabers and this excited him so much that he first grabbed a ruler and began swinging it around the family room before running off to get his red and blue light sabers to do the same tricks the people were doing in the videos.

I told him repeatedly not to swing anywhere near the new smart tv that I had installed not more than 2 weeks ago in our activity room.  Repeatedly.  

I didn't spank him.  I took my anger out on the light sabers and destroyed them so much that one piece somehow ended up almost in not the next room but the living room which is the one next over from it.  I didn't get a protection plan for the tv.  I looked at protection plan options and they do not even cover accidental damage to the screen.  I had purchased a TCL 55" CLASS 4 SERIES 4k uhd hdr Smart Android TV and originally got it for about $268.  I was not sure what I had and in my haste to replace it I ordered a roku by accident but just cancelled it and placed a new order for the TCL android tv, the same as I had before, only this time, the cost is $378.  The regular cost for the tv is $488 without sales or discounts.  So that tv will arrive God willing on Monday to replace the one that he just broke.  

I had a talk with him and he apologized and hugged me.  I didn't have to beat him.  The tv which has the damaged screen can still be used, the vertical lines on the right hand side of the screen are just extremely annoying.  I am going to put it in the guest room for now. My bed room does not have the space...although I could get a mount and install it on the wall that has the mirror and just move the mirror to above my bed, I could do that.  

I am lacking feelings of anger.  Instead, I am thankful.  Without God, I would not be able to replace it so easily.  I would have probably raged towards my son and I did not.  I spent a lot of money on this backroom and I am going to do what I can to enjoy this space.  I spent hours repainting, purchased a large beautiful mirror and hung it with new curtains, shades and shelving.  I have a sofa in here and never imagined ever buying one like this.  I demolished old shelving and bought a new shelving unit to store all the books and items which were on that old shelving unit.  There were other purchases I made to do this make over.  I can't let it all go to waste. So I thank God for the funds to replace and the strength not to take it out on my son as even in his disobedience, he really didn't mean to do it.  There will be more disappointing times as he grows but I have to think of the times I have let God down and disappointed Him before I even think to raise my hand to that little boy in the room.  God is merciful to us and we need to live by His example.  God is good. It could have been worse.

Cabbage

 Happy Sabbath

Not sure what to call this blog today. I had cabbage yesterday and just enjoyed some cabbage with my beyond meat burger meal today. Cabbage it is I guess.

God is good. My son is better and had recovered really in full by Sunday.  I was not able to secure a PCP appointment this week but have something I can still send him back to school with.  I was sick as a result of him coughing in my face and my illness went away by Tuesday.  

On Sunday, since I knew that we would have to remain home I decided to go ahead with a much awaited purchase and purchased a sofa with chaise, and a bunch of gifts for Christmas for my family.  I received the sofa on Wednesday and rushed to put it together and am so happy with the purchase.  My family room/home office/activity room is nearly complete.  It is very comfortable and fits the space so well and now my son and I can lay back and watch our 55" smart tv and hopefully play some video games if I can find an xbox s series or something like it on the market.  Most of the gifts arrived. I'm still waiting for my dad's boots.  I bought my mom some adidas tennis shoes and my dad will get some Sperry boots.  He is always picking at me for the shoes I buy and claiming his is better since he paid $20 for them at Walmart or some other place. But he knows those shoes don't last. If he is going to have shoes, he should have good quality shoes. I thought about timberlands but know how rough he can be with them and wanted something that would hold up weather wise, be water proof, and still look good for years to come.  The sperry's showed up and caught my eye and I personally wanted to get a pair of them. Your welcome dad.  My son has a laptop still in the amazon box. There are a bunch of other things but I will have to wait until he is out of the house before I start packaging things up properly.  My sister asked for a samsung watch that could check her blood pressure and I got that for her while we were on google duo.  

I am thankful because there was a time that all of this would not be possible.  I would have to swap money from this account to that account and look for a credit card.  I have not needed to use credit cards for any of this.  She asked and I didn't even have to look at my main checking account to see my balance before going forward with the purchase.  I am thankful that I didn'[t have to get new tires on Thursday.  I drove out I want to say Tuesday when my pressure signal came on and usually when that happens, it means there is something really wrong with a tire and I have to get new ones.  I know I have not been driving much and I got new tires not too long ago so I was confused how I needed something now.  I went to Pepboys and they told me nothing was wrong with any of the tires.  All the tires were lower and they just filled them up with air and checked for leaks.  I will be careful traveling around and if it happens again, I'll come for them. I am thankful I didn't have to put out money for that this week. 

I was sitting with my son yesterday and he started asking some hard questions.  I keep telling him when he gets to be older..18 or so, I will tell him everything.  I told him some more about life before him and things that upset him.  I probably shouldn't have told him the significance of his birthday for me, I should have held off until he was much older.  He was upset with me about that but he was more so upset with his dad and the decisions his dad decided to do. I don't believe in telling a happy doopy story.  The facts are the facts.  He was a bad actor, but I was not smart and made bad decisions too and that cannot be hidden either.  You have to learn from these bad decisions.  

I spent time cleaning out a suit case (one of many things I need to go through that is in the hall closet).  I am thankful that I was able to get space in there to put the vacuum cleaner.  As I cleaned the suitcase and looked at tags of trips long long ago, I came across calendars and a journal, and even a letter I typed up for my former employer.  What was written on those pages hurt me but I cannot erase it. I cannot throw that away.  I need those painful reminders so that I remember not to go down those roads again.  

I am peeling the layers of my history and spending time saving the good, the necessary, and throwing away the bad, like a cabbage or onion.  I spent time cleaning the guest room and changed the layout around.  I like the new layout.  I can get in the room and know where more things are.  I have more closets to go through and more things to fix.  I am in a good place right now and I have to thank the Lord for that.  If He did not intervene, I'd be homeless.  I might be childless.  I would have nothing and be nothing and possibly not be alive.  My biggest concern this week was when is the sofa arriving and oh no, the packages were left on the front porch!  My son can choose what he wants to eat and is able to have it when he wants.  He can wear what he wants.  If he is cold he can put on warm clothes or turn the heat up in the house.  He can watch tv in his bedroom and I can watch tv in the activity room.  We can feed the peacocks that come up to the patio. He can grow, he is growing up in comfort with his needs being met.  I don't have to water down milk or stretch xyz to make a meal.  I don't have to walk away from a purchase at the register because a card being declined or tell him no because I just don't have enough.  I am thankful for this period of blessing and bounty.  I don't know how much longer it will last but while I have it, I thank God for it.  I thank Him for second, third, and fourth chances to get things right.  I thank Him for the sermon today.  I am going to go check in on my son now, but yeah, just wanted to share. God is good all the time.  Never stop praising Him even in times of distress.  Don't give Him up. Never give up the faith. And eat more cabbage.  It's good for you, especially the purple kind with leeks. 

Happy Sabbath :)