Saturday, May 26, 2018

Choose: A House or A Husband


Happy Sabbath

The answer is House of course. 

I am blessed and have had a good week.  I received a text from my real estate agent asking me to call him on Thursday.  He told me that the listing agent was being given permission by HUD to allow me to move forward with the town ship resale inspection.  I contacted my loan officer right after to ask for him to help to get things rolling again for a mortgage.  My previous application was closed out because the seller took too long so I had to reapply.  I filled out the mortgage loan application online and was sent e-documents to sign again on Friday, but I didn’t get any more word from the agent or listing guy on Friday like I expected.  I am being given up until June 6th to close on the house, which means I need to get the inspection, get the info back from the inspector on what will fail (and I already have a good idea of what will be marked) and the cost of fixing those items the inspector marks off will be factored into the agreement I have with the bank.  I expect to get things done for under an additional 5k and once I make repairs, I will be permitted to move into the house.  If I don’t close before June 6th, I will have to pay for every day that it is left open.  I don’t think it’s fair because they wasted a whole month of my time.  I was supposed to close by May 4th by the way.

I will take a leap of faith and see where this goes.  I’ve come this far, I can’t turn back now.

I received the first text from my real estate agent letting me know we were going to start making progress on Tuesday and when I received that text I was at work during a meeting.  I was supposed to be seeing one of my clients for a monthly welfare visit and when I entered the building, he was not there.  I was met by a man who I assumed was his staff and after pretty much marching on in there and making my demands, I learned that this person was the new program manager for my client’s home.  I was then disappointed to hear that he would not be back for about an hour so my options were to either sit in my car with no working AC (third time it’s gone out, system needs to be recharged) or stay at the site and discuss my client’s needs and changes with the program manager. 

I was talking about the client but pretty soon, he was working hard to turn the conversation around about me.  He also became very flirtatious and suggested we go out on a date several times.  It’s been years since I’ve had any encounter with someone trying to test me.  The field I’m in and my routine keeps me pretty isolated from incidents like this and I thought I would be safe from thirsty males who don’t know what to do with themselves. 

There is a reason I am mentioning this encounter. 

I have been single and happily so for over 5 years and plan to stay by myself.  I don’t want someone coming in making promises and messing up my life like what happened before.  But I did on several occasions think to myself if I were given the perfect relationship, the perfect someone, what their attributes would be and thought about what God would have for me.  I said to God that if I were to even bother with someone, they would have to be this and this and so so. 

I said they would have to be at least 6’ tall, should be within my age range (slightly older), be African, perhaps have 1 no more than 2 children (knowing how to be a good parent), have a good job, be able to sing, speak a foreign language.  And out of all these things, I said their first name has to be James. 

I always liked that name. I’ve known different people named James, but never a black/dark skinned person in my peer group with this name.  James is a common name and has been around for decades.  James is a biblical name.  When I was in denial of my relationship with my son’s father, I used the name James as a fake name to throw people off track of what was really happening with me when my son was first born.  James is a name I stuck with and so going back to the thoughts of the perfect man, the husband God would bless me with, his name would be James. 

But in all things, God gives us the freedom of choice.  I also said to myself that I would not even pursue someone even if they matched up with all these things. 

This guy I met at work matched a lot of what I said in my heart to God some weeks ago, but it’s not a perfect match.  He’s not Adventist.  He’s Methodist.  I started out at a Methodist church by the way but my perfect match should believe the same as I do.

What shocked me the most out of the entire encounter was how forward he was.  Usually professionals I meet and even non-professionals have a few interactions with someone before they start asking about going out or in this guys case, taking me back to Africa to meet his sisters because they would love me.  He has a 10 year and 7 year old child (I forgot which is the son or daughter).  They live in his home country and he is planning on bringing them over here.  I didn’t ask him about the mother of his children and he didn’t mention her.  I mean, why would I ask you and I just met you as a new member of my client’s team? 

I looked like crap that day. My son accidentally scratched the top of my lip and caused a white head to pop up in the center of my cupids bow and it looked like a booger that I could not wipe away.  I tried to cover it with a little foundation but of course that didn’t work.  I was dressed to be comfortable, not my best self and yet this guy was interested in me.

So at this time, I just think he is out here to be a distraction.  My focus is on getting a house, creating a stable loving environment for my son, and living my best life for God and myself.  I don’t need distractions.  If there is someone out here for me that God thinks would help me to stay on track with Him and would be the perfect father to my son, I’m going to need to see a lot more proof than the current list.  As I said, almost all boxes on that list were checked.  He has two bachelor degrees and I believe he said a masters in finance/economics.  He is going to an ivy league school now to get a second masters in the psychology/mental health field.  He has a business running back home and has a lot going for himself.  He speaks three languages ( two African) fluently and even sang the French national anthem to me.  He is very good looking and has all these accomplishments so that makes me question why he is single to begin with.  I also don’t know why I was so interesting to him.  I’m a plain Jane (not the A$ap Ferg type). Only God knows.  I have to stop with the trap music, God has a lot of work to do on me.

I am renting a uhaul tomorrow and will be moving my belongings out of my apartment to storage with the help of my little sister so that will be interesting.  I thank God for my little sister.  We’ve had several rough patches together and this year, we are doing better.  My older sister declined to help claiming she has constant heart palpitations when she climbs stairs or lifts anything heavy so please pray for her. 

My thoughts are to focus on the house and getting my  clients places where they are happy living.  I had a near victory that was crushed on Friday by a situation that I cannot discuss.  I hope to see some things work out for them next week. 

God is good.  I thank Him for helping me to know my worth and to make better decisions for myself and my family.  There is more in store and I look forward to seeing what will happen next week. 

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