Choose: A House or A Husband

Happy Sabbath

The answer is House of course. 

I am blessed and have had a good week.  I received a text from my real estate agent asking me to call him on Thursday.  He told me that the listing agent was being given permission by HUD to allow me to move forward with the town ship resale inspection.  I contacted my loan officer right after to ask for him to help to get things rolling again for a mortgage.  My previous application was closed out because the seller took too long so I had to reapply.  I filled out the mortgage loan application online and was sent e-documents to sign again on Friday, but I didn’t get any more word from the agent or listing guy on Friday like I expected.  I am being given up until June 6^th to close on the house, which means I need to get the inspection, get the info back from the inspector on what will fail (and I already have a good idea of what will be marked) and the cost of fixing those items the inspector marks off will be factored into the agreement I have with the bank.  I expect to get things done for under an additional 5k and once I make repairs, I will be permitted to move into the house.  If I don’t close before June 6^th, I will have to pay for every day that it is left open.  I don’t think it’s fair because they wasted a whole month of my time.  I was supposed to close by May 4^th by the way.

I will take a leap of faith and see where this goes.  I’ve come this far, I can’t turn back now.

I received the first text from my real estate agent letting me know we were going to start making progress on Tuesday and when I received that text I was at work during a meeting.  I was supposed to be seeing one of my clients for a monthly welfare visit and when I entered the building, he was not there.  I was met by a man who I assumed was his staff and after pretty much marching on in there and making my demands, I learned that this person was the new program manager for my client’s home.  I was then disappointed to hear that he would not be back for about an hour so my options were to either sit in my car with no working AC (third time it’s gone out, system needs to be recharged) or stay at the site and discuss my client’s needs and changes with the program manager. 

I was talking about the client but pretty soon, he was working hard to turn the conversation around about me.  He also became very flirtatious and suggested we go out on a date several times.  It’s been years since I’ve had any encounter with someone trying to test me.  The field I’m in and my routine keeps me pretty isolated from incidents like this and I thought I would be safe from thirsty males who don’t know what to do with themselves. 

There is a reason I am mentioning this encounter. 

I have been single and happily so for over 5 years and plan to stay by myself.  I don’t want someone coming in making promises and messing up my life like what happened before.  But I did on several occasions think to myself if I were given the perfect relationship, the perfect someone, what their attributes would be and thought about what God would have for me.  I said to God that if I were to even bother with someone, they would have to be this and this and so so. 

I said they would have to be at least 6’ tall, should be within my age range (slightly older), be African, perhaps have 1 no more than 2 children (knowing how to be a good parent), have a good job, be able to sing, speak a foreign language.  And out of all these things, I said their first name has to be James. 

I always liked that name. I’ve known different people named James, but never a black/dark skinned person in my peer group with this name.  James is a common name and has been around for decades.  James is a biblical name.  When I was in denial of my relationship with my son’s father, I used the name James as a fake name to throw people off track of what was really happening with me when my son was first born.  James is a name I stuck with and so going back to the thoughts of the perfect man, the husband God would bless me with, his name would be James. 

But in all things, God gives us the freedom of choice.  I also said to myself that I would not even pursue someone even if they matched up with all these things. 

This guy I met at work matched a lot of what I said in my heart to God some weeks ago, but it’s not a perfect match.  He’s not Adventist.  He’s Methodist.  I started out at a Methodist church by the way but my perfect match should believe the same as I do.

What shocked me the most out of the entire encounter was how forward he was.  Usually professionals I meet and even non-professionals have a few interactions with someone before they start asking about going out or in this guys case, taking me back to Africa to meet his sisters because they would love me.  He has a 10 year and 7 year old child (I forgot which is the son or daughter).  They live in his home country and he is planning on bringing them over here.  I didn’t ask him about the mother of his children and he didn’t mention her.  I mean, why would I ask you and I just met you as a new member of my client’s team? 

I looked like crap that day. My son accidentally scratched the top of my lip and caused a white head to pop up in the center of my cupids bow and it looked like a booger that I could not wipe away.  I tried to cover it with a little foundation but of course that didn’t work.  I was dressed to be comfortable, not my best self and yet this guy was interested in me.

So at this time, I just think he is out here to be a distraction.  My focus is on getting a house, creating a stable loving environment for my son, and living my best life for God and myself.  I don’t need distractions.  If there is someone out here for me that God thinks would help me to stay on track with Him and would be the perfect father to my son, I’m going to need to see a lot more proof than the current list.  As I said, almost all boxes on that list were checked.  He has two bachelor degrees and I believe he said a masters in finance/economics.  He is going to an ivy league school now to get a second masters in the psychology/mental health field.  He has a business running back home and has a lot going for himself.  He speaks three languages ( two African) fluently and even sang the French national anthem to me.  He is very good looking and has all these accomplishments so that makes me question why he is single to begin with.  I also don’t know why I was so interesting to him.  I’m a plain Jane (not the A$ap Ferg type). Only God knows.  I have to stop with the trap music, God has a lot of work to do on me.

I am renting a uhaul tomorrow and will be moving my belongings out of my apartment to storage with the help of my little sister so that will be interesting.  I thank God for my little sister.  We’ve had several rough patches together and this year, we are doing better.  My older sister declined to help claiming she has constant heart palpitations when she climbs stairs or lifts anything heavy so please pray for her. 

My thoughts are to focus on the house and getting my  clients places where they are happy living.  I had a near victory that was crushed on Friday by a situation that I cannot discuss.  I hope to see some things work out for them next week. 

God is good.  I thank Him for helping me to know my worth and to make better decisions for myself and my family.  There is more in store and I look forward to seeing what will happen next week. 

Thankful for Stability

Happy Sabbath

I thank God for a beautiful day and good week free of trouble and turmoil.

I thank God that my family is doing well and my son had the opportunity to go to the aquarium with his class.

I thank God for the weather because it is tolerable and making everything around me lush, verdant, and beautiful. 

I thank God for my job.  I thank God that my car is still working and that I will be paid next week so I can get it serviced.

I thank God that my son’s pink eye is going away. 

I thank God that I have a place to stay.

I am still waiting on the house thing.  I suggested my agent apply some pressure to HUD but I still have to wait for them to update their records and speak with the township before I can do anything.  I drove down the street of the first house and saw that there was some clean up done (a trash bag filled with debris in the front yard).  Nothing much had changed outside of that bag and the for sale sign being missing.  There was no car there so I really believe an investor picked it up.  The house at the very end had a bunch of people standing on the back porch.  It’s a very large and irregular lot and that house went through several renovations. 

I have not been by the house I’m waiting on for over a month now.  I’m thinking I will wait until June and if they are still playing around, I should just walk away.  If they would just send the letter or call the township, I would schedule the inspection right away and close in 1-2 weeks. 

I don’t know what to do.  The longer I wait, the more money I can use to pay down debt or put towards home repair.  I have to start a new mortgage application all over again since I’m over the 120 days the bank gives me after they run my credit.  I was slowly bringing my score up and now it will take another hit.

I will wait another week and see if there is anything new I can report.  I will continue to find things that I can thank God for and I hope that you will too as well.  May you have a great Sabbath, a safe and happy week, and stay encouraged!

Oh Maybe Not...

Happy Sabbath

So I went for a house viewing on Tuesday.  The house is at the top of the lane from my parent’s house and I didn’t have any specific feeling about it when I approached.  I parked my car at my parent’s house and walked up the street to find my real estate agent waiting outside the door.  The house looked very nice inside.  Only problem was who ever lived there left all their food behind which spoiled and became a buffet for flies.  The house stunk. I liked the converted garage and the fire place style.  The bedrooms were okay and the living room would have several nice areas for me to put my piano.  In the back yard, there was old wooden fencing on two sides and a damaged metal chain fence to the left where the couple who own the greyhounds reside.  A dialysis center is directly behind the house but the fence was high enough that not really anyone could see in.  The yard was smaller and had 3-4 trees in the back. 

It was a nice house, but prior to me coming out, my agent told me that HUD decided they were going to work with me and do everything they could to sell this house.  They needed an answer immediately and if I commit to the non-HUD L rancher, I would have to drop the straight rancher with the humongous yard. If I walked away from the straight rancher, I wouldn’t be able to get my $1000 deposit back.  For the L, I would have to start the process all over again, paying more money out.

I said no to the L rancher.  I knew I would only offer a grand more than the asking price and would be out bid by an investor.  The home is set in such a way that it is very dark during the day and I need my light.  Someone speeding down the street would crash right into the house and knowing people are constantly coming and going on the back side of the house is unnerving.  The dogs could jump over the gate and I don’t want neighbors with dogs, at least for now.  It would cost a little more to fix up the one I committed to, but at least  most of the floors are stripped and I know what is going on in the house with the last inspection.  I have more brick and stone than the L that is all vinyl.  My mother had a friend who previously lived in the L and she was disappointed that I said no. 

Hud is supposed to be contacting the township and I have not heard anything else for the rest of the week.  My realtor told me that when we get the inspection, we could close in 1-2 weeks and that the seller would not put any extra charges on me because we are well past the deadline. 

So that’s where I am.  Taking screen shots of the house from trulia and doing some imaginary upgrades with a computer photo program.  I will still say “if” I get the house.  Last week, I thought there was no house.  Now, I’m back to obsessing over it again. 

I went to church today thinking that after service, I would go to a luncheon at the church 2 houses up from my parent’s home.  I invited my mother who was psyched about going, but it turned out that last minute, they changed the venue.  She decided not to go and instead headed out with my older sister for a concert this afternoon. 

I’m a bit bummed about it.  The church it was originally selected for was my childhood church (a Methodist church).  I have not been there in say about 25 years and I was curious to see all the changes that have happened with it. 

I am not going to continue to be bummed.  I am going to be thankful.

God allowed me to wake up this morning and have a great day at church.  My son’s eyes improved (he has pink eye) throughout the day and he is feeling better overall. Nerves didn’t get the best of me at the piano.  I don’t know if it was a joke, but the speaker started throwing random songs at me that the congregation and I didn’t know, but I was able to play them.  My son behaved for the most part.  I had a great and productive week with my clients and did well at meetings that I didn’t really prepare for. I’m thankful for getting paid this week and being able to handle my bills.  I was able to move more items to storage.  I am thankful for a delicious lunch I had at home. I am thankful for peace and quiet that I can use to spend and focus on the things of God. 

God is good.  The house situation is not a bust.  If I get that house…now I’m guessing in June, I owe it all to Him. 

So I look forward to see what the next week will bring.  With God, it ends when He says it’s over. 

Moving On...Again

Happy Sabbath

I had a good week this week and thank the Lord for that.  I was able to  keep my productivity up and was successful with all of my work appointments. 

I had a great time during the camp trip I attended last weekend.  It was my first time sleeping outside in a tent and building my own fires.  I was stressed out about housing stuff and bothered by some other things that occurred that weekend but the best part about the trip was the rain. 

I loved the rain.  It rained lightly every other hour the first night we were there.  The second day we were expecting thunderstorms.  That evening, an hour before the close of Sabbath, a huge gust of wind came through and I rushed to secure items and was able to get everything including my son in place before the rain came down.  It was as if the Lord held back the rain until I got into my tent. 

The rain made everything alright, it was very relaxing.  My son stopped tantruming and went to sleep.  I was able to enjoy listening to my audio Bible and didn’t have any further interruptions from other people.  The rain stopped about an hour later and I was able to go use the facilities with my son before we returned and settled for the night.  The rain started up again after the bathroom break and continued  on and off like every other hour. 

I slept better that second night and woke up around 5:30am and packed up everything by 6:45am and headed home. 

I would do it again but next time I would have a much larger tent and bring better cooking items. 

The house thing is a bust.  On Monday, I received communications from the bank and it seemed as though I might have a chance.  My realtor was thinking the title company was going to help get the letter we needed from Hud as they supposedly had a good connection with them, but Thursday turned into Friday and Friday is now Saturday.  My agent said he would send out the documentation to cancel the contract on Friday if he did not get an update from them.  I haven’t heard anything so I assume we will have to cancel the contract.  My 45 day mark is Monday.  HUD only gives you 45 days to close. I went to see a short sale on Sunday after the camping trip and that was the worst house I ever stepped foot into. That was a definite no.

I am still very disappointed but I know that God has something for us out here. I have to keep looking every week to see if something pops up.  The house that I saw Sunday and the very first house I saw started at about the same price, but the first one was clean and pretty much move in ready.  It just needed a few cosmetic repairs which I could count on one hand.  I pray I can find something like that again. 

I was able to get a storage unit and started moving items on May 1^st.  May 3^rd, I went by the apartment and the barrier I set up to keep the wasps out (theres a nest in the ceiling), well they broke through and I will have to come with hornet spray cans locked and loaded every time I walk up in there.  I am thankful that I am able to stay with family again.  I remember how much I wanted to leave and it was such a stressful time for me.  We were stepping on each others toes and we could not continue with that arrangement.  So this day and tomorrow, my focus is on finding a house.  I have to.  We will be stepping on each other again.

I received a flier from church about a luncheon that will be held next Sabbath.  Turns out, that luncheon is held at a Methodist church which is 2 houses up from where I am currently staying.  That church was my very first church when I was a child.  So after service next week, I plan to drive home and walk to the luncheon. 

I am going to try to stop stressing out.  I just want the Lord to show me where to go.  I don’t know what I will hear next week or what I will find.  What ever it is, I will give it to God and we’ll see where we are from there.