Depression to Determination

Happy Sabbath,

I’ll keep this short but I had a good week and a pleasant surprise today at church.  Hope (at least I think that’s the fake name I gave for her) came with her husband and her two children to church today.  It was my first time meeting them but I had heard a lot about them.  Her daughter is 3 and her son is almost 1 years old and such a joy to be around.  They are talking about trying to move to another town several miles away in this state and I really hope that it works out for them. 

I was hit with a situation that really had me in my feelings for a while.  My son has been behaving terribly at times, and although it has improved at home, he is not too great with my parents. My parents claim to be Christians but when a test comes up for them, they run away.  I know who I believe and why I believe Him.  I have told many people my story and I am still learning that no matter what I say or how often I say something, people can choose to either ignore, forget, or create excuses for why things in my life have turned out the way they have.  I am used to people praising God’s name when it is convenient for them.  Now I work Monday through Friday and my job allows for me to create my own schedule.  I can shorten any day as much as I want to with little to no notice and I have my Saturdays and Sunday’s free.  It is seem by many people that Saturday is a great day to get a job and this is what my mother continues time and time again to push on me. 

Yes I want a house.  Yes I want to create a business or find a part time job opportunity that will help me get a little extra needed cash to continue my adulting process, but I have Sunday available and several afternoons available during the week to do this.  I just need to find something flexible enough.  My mother once again told me I would have the money if I worked on Saturday and I was bothered because she out of all people should know or remember what I’ve told her.  She then went to say that I told her that God spoke to me in a dream when that was not true.  God did not tell me in a dream to observe the Sabbath.  You can read my earlier blog posts to see why I observe it.  I recall prior to this we were talking about my son’s behavior and she keeps saying the devil is in him but she won’t pray with me for him.  As I was praying, she was ready to move on to something else and actually did. 

There are other things that happened and I’m sure that perhaps you have gone through similar things.  You may not believe as I do, but you believe in something.  You know what your experience is and why you are motivated to move in that direction.  The verse for today was Let not your heart be troubled.  Ye believe in God, believe also in me.

Yesterday it was “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.

And before that was In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. (John 1:1; John 1:12, and John 14:1).

The Word is Jesus, and the Bible is God’s word.  I believed and still do believe His word.  If you believe what something is saying, you will do your best so that your actions will show it.  I am not saying I’m perfect.  I know I am far from perfect.  I am not complete with what I should be doing and I have made choices knowingly that are wrong and Jesus sees this.  Every day I fall, I have a choice to stay down or get back up and try to do better and right for the next moment. 

As many as received him…to them that believe on his name.  That power, that connection is extended even to me.  Just because I have not seen someone come back to life or witnessed the red sea parting, doesn’t mean that He would withhold power to do such things.  These things happen if it is His will that they should occur and if we have faith and complete commitment. 

I was bothered by what she and others said, but I can still get up and move forward because I know my experience.  I know in Whom I have believed.  I see horrible things in the news.  I am pestered by people at work who are lead by something not good.  I cannot confide in family because they do not believe, they have no faith.  That had me feeling discouraged, depressed even.  I thought about my first seven years of being an Adventist and how the decisions I made and my son’s father ruined seven years of witness.  Prior to him, people listened and had interest in seeking God.  They tried different churches, they were happy about their new experiences with Jesus.  They were changing into better people. I was discouraged this week, but Jesus says do not let your heart be troubled, believe in Him. 

Jesus was who sought you from the beginning and who you met (I hope).  Don’t forget it was Him.  Don’t pay attention to the people and things around you.  Pay attention to Him because if nothing else, He is really all that matters.  He really is a true friend to the friendless, a father to the fatherless, and everything to anyone who is in need of something pure, good, and complete in their lives.  I read those texts and I am reminded that Jesus is with me and still for me and I want you to know that He is there still for you too. 

So don’t be discouraged when you share your testimony and the person you thought closest to you does not recall or seem to care.  Keep sharing your testimonies, but talk to Jesus.  He will lift you up and help you to keep pressing on.  Stay with Him and you will be alright, that I can guarantee.

May you have a wonderful Sabbath and a blessed new week to come.