My Psalm 42

My heart was cast down. My mind wandered and I was at fault.

Oh Lord, You are the light I must follow. I was approached by the evil one at night and distracted by a false light. It lurked in my open life until I sought after it secretly.

I am at fault. I knew the verse that warned not to trust men's strength.

Lord, you have me in a humble place and there is much much more work to be done on my soul. I wallowed in refuse spewed from one hundred men. The many this wee morning I still don't know. I knew not all who my attackers were.

That period of my life hurt me immensely. I writhed in constant agony of the choices made.

By me.

But you had a plan in place and I committed such great sins against You.

The pain matched the wound, the pinch I unintentionally but intentionally gave You.

With healing, there is great pain and You permitted I should live to testify of Your love.

So I testify.

Lord You are great and marvelous!

You comfort the confounded even when we don't even understand what you are doing for us. I was confounded and at times simple, but looking back now I see golden flashes of your light, shedding upon my life.

Healing my heart.

I had to endure it to know how to stay and walk with You. I had stopped praying and reading Your word Lord. I avoided mention of You but knew inside what love and beauty I witnessed was gloriously true, real, and alive.

I cannot deny You, the Holy One.

Jesus.

Help me to continue to seek after Your face daily.

Nightly.

Mid-day.

Remind me to take time to delight in You.

You said to me, even me seek Your face and I know that verse. Your face will I seek, he said. Well Your face, You is who I seek.

May I never look away again from You.