A Forgiving Christmas

I witnessed something that I never imagined I'd see yesterday. Family gathered together in harmony on Christmas day, but not just any family. My sister's grandma stayed over my parents' house. Her daughter would not allow her to stay with her while she is I'm the process of trying to sell her home. She is 86 years old and had five children. Some of which are dead and the others, either can't be there for her for legit reasons or are wicked to the bone like two that can be identified.

I know not much about my little sister's side, her story. Her existence, if in another person's story would burn through a marriage. It almost did to my parents and created turmoil for the entire family unit. We loved her though, despite the circumstances that brought her to us and yesterday, we opened gifts, enjoyed roast duck, homemade red velvet cheesecake, and other dishes (my mom can throw down yall) all in merry fellowship with my little sister's grandma in the living room.

This couldn't have happened without the Lord. I even did my first family photo shoot with all my sisters. My son enjoyed the simple gifts he received. I was able to give more to my family and enjoy their company, all on a day in the lower 70's in the northeast on Christmas day.

I thank the Lord for healing and forgiveness. My mom has been through a lot and it is clear she is rightfully named the first name she has. I thank the Lord for my mother and family.  I thank the Lord for excellent credit. I paid off my credit card and I jumped about 40 points back up into excellent range. I thank Him for fantastic productivity numbers for work this week. For having all these paid holidays that I can enjoy at home with my son. For His existence, protection, and salvation He offers.

And His forgiveness He offers us. He inspires us to take it to a new level. I'm just glad to witness it in different areas of my life experience.

A Change

The Lord has blessed me with a great week. Last Sabbath I was home and wanted to wash my son's hair, but he was coughing and sniffling some. He can develop asthma when he gets really sick and knowing the eligibility meeting for him to get into the disabled school program was coming up in a few days, I did not want him to miss it. He missed two others because of hospitalizations. He had almost three years worth of hair. I have seven years of thick natural hair myself and as I took apart the last braid I made in his hair, I decided to do something different.

I promised God I'd cut it. I wanted to make sure I would do it and I take making promises to the Lord very seriously. I had a vision in my mind for my son to attend kindergarten with a huge power to the people fro, but when I took his hair down, I thought about how effeminate it made him and I didn't want to risk him getting sick with the next wash. Between him and I, it was just too much hair, so I made the promise and went looking for my dad's barber kit. I never cut someone else's hair and was previously afraid of a buzz trimmer.

I cut it down low on the sides, cleaned the edges and let a little more on the top and middle back to have it resemble a low mohawk.   He looks like an amazing little boy now. My mother saw him (surprise!!) and she began thanking God in shock. My dad took a bit to realize what he was looking at.

He really does look so much better.

Next, I was reading a Bible plan on Youversion about debt and along with this changes theme, decided to pay off a 5k balance on one of my credit cards. I kept the other cards at zero, but this one through all of my compromises, and excuses was well on it's way to maxing out at 8k and there was just no good reason for it. The wicked borrow and do not repay. I don't want to be like that. So after sunset that same day I cut his hair, I paid my debt off.

During the week, I worked harder and smarter as it went on.  By the end of the work week, I increased my productivity to 90%. It is still a challenge as a new person, but the Lord enabled me to get all that work done before the Sabbath with no regrets. I had some low points, but I decided to strengthen myself in the Lord. Satan tried to put people on my path and area to dishearten me, but I still came out on top.

So I thank the Lord for my son's wonderful new look. He is so handsome and amazing. Now if he wants a power to the people fro in the future, I can support him in that, but for now I'm going to play barber.

I thank the Lord for preventing that car from crashing into me. They decided they were going to get in my lane and didn't look to see that I owned it. We both were going about 55-60 mph.

I thank the Lord for showing me I can be debt free through smarter life choices.

I thank the Lord for getting me through this week and getting my son to that meeting where everyone could finally meet him. I met his teacher and she's great. He can write his alphabet, knows his alphabet (English and russian) numbers 1-20, all colors, several full length songs, shapes and names of other polygons, and has a dictionary full of words stored in his head. He will get help with his speech and I believe he will be more than ready to start kindergarten in a few years.

I am thankful for being able to get a lot of work done this week.

Thank you for all these things. The little things do mean a lot.

What are you thankful for?

Safe Travels

The Lord brought me through another good week and safely home. I commuted today by mass transit, but the other four days I drove to and from work. The roads I travel are dangerous in my area. It seems every other hour, there is a major accident.

Last night I drove around 40 miles to get home and every route the gps was trying to force me to was red with accident traffic. I decided to ignore the gps and try one road that freaks me out at night (six speeding lanes of blinding headlights and people with no sense) and once I got past the ramp to get to that way, it was pretty clear the rest of the way. Took forever for me to get home, but I would have been out there an extra half to full hour more if I hadn't taken this route. If it weren't for the Lord, I would not be driving any where. I drive the roads that I've feared in the past and could never imagine driving on after sunset. No longer do I feel the same way.  Jesus makes me brave.

I am relaxing and am thankful for this moment. To have the choice to do so. For a change to recover and be revived.

This is all I'd like to share tonight. May you enjoy your evening as well and find God's rest.

Happy Sabbath :)

My Psalm 42

My heart was cast down. My mind wandered and I was at fault.

Oh Lord, You are the light I must follow. I was approached by the evil one at night and distracted by a false light. It lurked in my open life until I sought after it secretly.

I am at fault. I knew the verse that warned not to trust men's strength.

Lord, you have me in a humble place and there is much much more work to be done on my soul. I wallowed in refuse spewed from one hundred men. The many this wee morning I still don't know. I knew not all who my attackers were.

That period of my life hurt me immensely. I writhed in constant agony of the choices made.

By me.

But you had a plan in place and I committed such great sins against You.

The pain matched the wound, the pinch I unintentionally but intentionally gave You.

With healing, there is great pain and You permitted I should live to testify of Your love.

So I testify.

Lord You are great and marvelous!

You comfort the confounded even when we don't even understand what you are doing for us. I was confounded and at times simple, but looking back now I see golden flashes of your light, shedding upon my life.

Healing my heart.

I had to endure it to know how to stay and walk with You. I had stopped praying and reading Your word Lord. I avoided mention of You but knew inside what love and beauty I witnessed was gloriously true, real, and alive.

I cannot deny You, the Holy One.

Jesus.

Help me to continue to seek after Your face daily.

Nightly.

Mid-day.

Remind me to take time to delight in You.

You said to me, even me seek Your face and I know that verse. Your face will I seek, he said. Well Your face, You is who I seek.

May I never look away again from You.

Teeth and Family Testimony

Happy Sabbath!

I am home and enjoying a relaxing lovely time laying in front of my fireplace. This week has been tumultuous for many, but the Lord has been with me and my family. I saw my oldest sister today. She had a bad car wreck a week prior to thanksgiving, but is alright. She wasn't afraid when it happened and guess what? She has a brand-new Honda suv today. She is being more careful in her commute.

Perhaps what is even greater, my son went into a room to mess with his fish Mr. Bubbles. He took the bottle for the slime coat and tried to pour it in the hole he usually feeds the fish through. I never demonstrated pouring anything but food through that hole and I don't know where he got the idea from. He spilled it and emptied the bottle. That fish tank sits top of my electric Yamaha Clavinova piano. There are buttons to that piano as well as a floppy disc drive to record and play music. It spilled all over it and almost got the extension cord/power stick. I praise God because it was not plugged in.

If it was, I don't know what would have happened. My son will be three in January and at this age he is defiant and getting into so much mischief.

I praise and thank Jesus for being there for my sister and watching over my son who likes to run around and mess with stuff he is not supposed to.

I had a great week, was able to take my son for his testing and to get my tooth fixed today. My tooth started having problems the day before my son was born and my stress over it was what caused me to go in to labor. Now it's finally fixed. I am thankful and that is my testimony for this week.

.......

After I posted this, I prayed for my family still out and about for safety and no issues with car trouble. Right after my amen, my mother told me that my older sister (2nd oldest) was at a nearby pizza place and locked out of her car. She thought she'd have to call AAA. I went to get my car keys knowing my phone was at 1% power to go get her when she called back and said she found them. She stopped by anyway. When I was having my devotion, listening to music from a Bible plan in YouVersion and writing this blog, my phone power was steadily dying. It changed every 4-5 minutes. I lay on the floor by the fireplace expecting it to cut off. At that time at 1%, I was listening to Pandora piano hymns. That's when my mother came and told me about this sister.

When she was here, I had my phone with me, waiting for it to die. My mother was annoyed by it and my sister who is an atheist turned on some music that she claimed sounded like Christian music and she tried to drown the soft sounds out. I talked with her for a while and put my phone in the dining room thinking the power would cut off and wanted to avoid losing it.

The phone continued playing soft Christian hymns for another one to two hours. It didn't die until I was ready to take my son to bed.

I am writing this on Saturday morning now and the sun is not up.

I opened the Bible and read and I was inspired to write my own psalm. I wrote this before 6am today and I'm posting it as a reminder to myself of what the Lord has brought me through. I think writing our own psalms is a great way to bring us closer to the Jesus we want to serve.  They are prayers and also testimony that we need to strengthen our walk. I want to continue to connect with Jesus and hold myself accountable on my commitment to do so.