There Was Jesus

 Happy Sabbath

I had a rough start to this week but everything has ended well, praise the Lord. 

Saturday night I saw a clip of something that I wanted to share with my son that I felt was important for him to see.  I didn't want to take up much of his time and I asked him to come see but he yelled that he didn't care and refused to stay.  I was upset by that decided to close myself off for the rest of the day.  I had taken him to the hospital and tried to get an answer on his GI issues and we returned home and things were ok only for him to disrespect me by yelling at me and going off to do an art project.  Sunday, I had planned to take him to Six Flags.  I had already purchased the tickets online on Thursday for him, my sister and myself.  Sunday I was in no mood to talk to him but continued pushing forward as I could not get a refund for the type of tickets I purchased.  My sister has a habit of coming to town every weekend and she goes over to see my parents. She never comes across town (10 min or less) to visit with me). She also has not allowed anyone to visit her home.  I got the feeling that she didn't want to meet me at my house so I agreed to pick her up at our parent's house.  I didn't tell my parents where we were going and she told me that she didn't tell them anything but then as we were on the way, she admitted she did tell them.  I also felt judged by her. I don't remember what we were talking about. It wasn't something serious but I didn't like the expressions I saw in the rear view mirror. She refused to sit up front with me so my son sat in the front passenger. We arrive at Six Flags for pretty much all the rides to either not be functioning and a few had super long lines with malfunctions.  The one I really wanted to ride was not working. I was also in line for almost an hour between two groups of people who made me uncomfortable.  I only got in line to support my son who wanted to do a ride I was nervous about. We never got on the ride because of the continual malfunctions and my son wanted to get out of line and find something else.  When I saw that the other ride was not working, and encountered other problems including racism, my train ran out of steam to keep going.  My sister was not talking to me. My son was quiet and not talking.  I gave up at that point.  I had hoped to do some rides with all three of us but my sister had never intended to get on any rides. Why did you even agree if you were not going to get on anything or at least try to spend quality time with family?  My son asked to go home and I agreed. We drove to grandparents in silence and I wished my sister off and headed home.  I was so disappointed.  My son had to throw his jab that my plan for the theme park was stupid and a waste of money and my sister did not have any interest in spending time with us.  So I am not doing any more outings with her.  I will not go back to Six Flags. I wasted alot of money on a miserable time which should have been a great finish to the summer before my son starts the next school year.  As upset as I get with him, I still don't want him to miss out on great experiences. I'm considering doing a VR gaming experience tomorrow or Monday with him. We could do an escape room VR or battle against monsters experience.  Way cheaper than what I shelled out for the theme park and closer to home.  

That weekend was also rough because I had expected people to check in and care about what was going on with my son and I.  We had left service abruptly because he wanted to go to the hospital and I took him. He got blood tests done and the only thing off was his glucose level.  He has since recovered from what I believe was having consumed spoiled food at his grandparent's house.  I had expected people to reach out and the people I expected did not reach out.  Two others I did not expect did reach out and I appreciate them but everyone else, I felt horrible so much so that I deleted WhatsApp.  I wanted to sign out from everything but I saw in a video and other things that I know that God doesn't want me to do that. 

When people fail me, when I am abandoned, forgotten, ignored or purposely pushed aside, I have to remember that God has my side.  There is always Jesus.  I felt that way last weekend.  I felt that way when  this person for the umpteenth time waited until I started to play piano to block out the sound with a track on the loud speaker.  I felt that way when the people I try to stay in touch with showed no concern about what was happening for my child. I felt that way when everything happened with my sister and even other stuff I have not mentioned. I felt that way when my son screamed at me he didn't care when all I wanted was 10 seconds of his time as he was passing through.  

I heard a song this morning while I was getting ready and stopped because I heard Dolly Parton's voice. I'm like, she still making music?  I went to look for the song and it was with Zack Williams. The song is , There Was Jesus.  I played it when I was at church today on piano in the key of AbMajor.  

There's a part that says:

When the life I built came crashing to the ground

When the friends I had were no where to be found

I couldn't see it then but I can see it now

There was Jesus.

Jesus showed up today and He has been present even as I went through the difficult points this week.  I thought about how I was baptized back in 2007.  That day was so extra extra special to me, a date I never want to forget. Then four years later I damaged the memory of that day by dealing with someone I had no business dealing with.  Didn't realize that the enemy was targeting that day, trying to tarnish my memory and weaken me as a Christian.  I had committed for years to stay focused and keep out of trouble. The enemy sent another version of the person I dealt with and I again had no business dealing with them. I had a new bad memory that followed me for 4 years but God is a God of fresh starts. New beginnings. He can take a terrible story and rewrite it to have a beautiful ending. I sat thinking about my baptism date and how I tarnished it and my folly of four years ago and then God gave me a new awesome memory. My son was baptized on that day.  Now it is one of the best days of my life and it is only thanks to the Lord.  The enemy can try to destroy but God is building my life back better piece by piece and I'm thankful for Him.  Today at church some things that bothered me that I didn't speak about to the leaders, God addressed those things.  I was happy to see people go over and greet my child over on the other side of the church. They were not doing that before but they took the time to do so.  There were other things I heard. Jesus showed up today.  

So I must remember that even when I feel alone, like no one cares or even if that is in fact true. God still cares.  I love Him for that.  I thank Him for that.  I am committed to trying. I should continue to try and continue to love because God loved us first.  I will continue to try because, there was Jesus. 

Hospital

Happy Sabbath

Being at the hospital is not how I wanted to spend my time but God is still good.
My son has been having gastrointestinal problems since 8/11. I was told by him on 8/15 that he had stomach pain and diarrhea for a few days so I took him to the ER. They didn't perform any blood tests or urinalysis and instead sent him home with a diagnosis of stomach bug that should resolve itself in a day or so. He seemed to be getting around normal but he opened up Tuesday that he was still having the same symptoms.  I purchased pesto bismal and he took it for Wed, thurs and fri and still was having problems. I noticed during the church service he was missing so when I was able to get away from the piano I went looking for him. He told me he was in pain and I decided to take him to the hospital during the service.

At the hospital he said his stomach pain has been a level 6 consistently since 8/11. Also he decided to tell me today that he had two burgers on 8/11 when he was with his grandparents.  One was strangely sweet and the other had something hard and crunchy in the middle..He ate everything. 

We have been waiting in the ER since 1pm and still waiting. I just hope they will do some real testing and find out what is going on because I purchased tickets to Six Flags for tomorrow and I want us to go. I can't get a refund.

God helped me through this week with my clients..I found out that I was nominated for an award. I don't like my name being brought up for anything and like to operate in the background but I am thankful that my efforts with the Lord's help were being recognized.  If it were not for the Lord, my clients would not have been able to get the housing they needed. Everything was right on time and worked out perfectly.

The doctor just came in the room and will order some bloodwork. I hope they will be able to see what is going on with him and can rule out celiac disease, diabetes, and all the other crazy things I saw on web MD. Tapeworms. Yeah. 

I thank God for this hospital, the insurance, for it not being crowded, for us being in a quiet wing, for them.being willing to do tests.

My mom had fallen last week and she had her appointment yesterday.  She has sprained legs and may need surgery on the other leg. She fell because water was on the floor and loosened up a mat she had in the kitchen. Now the knee that had the replacement surgery is popping.

I have to keep her, my son and everything else in prayer. I'm having weird experiences I guess are anxiety mainly at night. It's like a wave of weirdness. I also feel weird sometimes when driving. They say that when you are perimenopausal it can happen. I don't know. Keeping it all in prayer.

Nursing Home

 Happy Sabbath

It's much later than usual for me to get on here.  I came back from nursing home with my son and a church brother and we had gone to encourage the residents there.  Usually there would be a group of us but everyone, their cousin and grandmama for some reason wanted to go on vacation this week, I don't know.

I was a bit apprehensive about going wondering who else would join us and when we got there, no one else came out.  I always hide behind the piano for music and this time I didn't have a piano to use so I ended up leading out in song service for each wing of the facility.  That is not something I do and definitely something I've always avoided.  But praise be to the Lord, He was with me and my voice.  My son sat away from us and didn't participate and the gentleman tried what he could but did mumble or stay silent at times.  One resident joined in for the second wing we visited and even though I was on my own for the first wing, everything went well and I hope that people were blessed not just by the music but the word that was shared with the people.  He spoke on ability and purpose in old age and reminded them that they were loved by the Lord, have value and are able to influence and do great things even in their current condition.  It was good.  My son and I dropped him off and arrived home where I was able to enjoy a meal prepared by another church sis that was delicious and filling.  

This week was a good week also at work.  It was packed full of meetings left and right and I was able to see all of my clients amazingly so.  There were a lot of people I needed to see and I'm glad to see that they are doing well.  My dad was having a medical challenge also at the start of the week but it seems to have resolved itself. My mother told me what was happening as it was something that would be considered embarrassing to him but I'm glad that he was able to have his appointment Friday and that everything for the most part is cleared up.  My mother also has recovered from her illness HMPV which put her in the hospital the other week. Everyone is doing ok and I have no complaints.  

God is good :)

Uneventful

 Happy Sabbath,

This was an uneventful week and for that I thank the Lord.  I thank Him for helping me to see my clients. For keeping me safe on the road. For being able to celebrate my little sister's birthday today. For the family I have in my life and church family.  I thank Him for payday and being able to handle these big bills I have been getting. I thank Him for the opportunity to turn health issues around.  I thank Him for rest. I thank Him for my gifts and having a place where I can use them for His glory. I thank Him for the weather today. It is beautiful outside and so comfortable in my home. I thank Him for life. I guess I shouldn't say uneventful.  All these things are wonderful blessings, wonderful events in my life.  I thank Him for helping me through turbulence and being with me in the quiet.  

God is good :)

Short Week

 Happy Sabbath,

I am thankful to have gotten through this week without too much issue. My family all were sick and my mom ended up going to the hospital on Tuesday and getting out Wednesday due to some weird virus going around called humanminipneuvirus or something like that (HMPV).  She tested negative for flu, covid, RSV and was having great trouble breathing.  She and my sister came down with symptoms on Thursday last week, my dad followed right after and my son started feeling unwell on Saturday.  Sunday, I felt drained and pressure in my chest and I took some time to rest for the first half of the day.  Monday I was fine but my son was still under the weather so I cancelled his therapy session. Tuesday, I felt the pressure come back but it didn't count me out for the day. My sister was coughing up her lungs and my parents were wheezing.  My mom still has to see other specialists but she is so much better than what she was and I am thankful for her recovery.  On Thursday this week, I'm not certain if it was my regular medication or the humid air but I felt light headed and ended up cancelling my meetings for the day and staying home.  So my week was cut short by illness and I didn't have to do too much with my job.

At church today Sabbath school went ok, but the children were not being respectful for Adventurers so I cut things short and headed out.  I had some prizes for them to win but I will not tolerate disrespectful behavior.  So I headed home and my son was able to do some of the kahoots I had set up for past classes. We had our lunch and I am going in my room to relax and spend time with the Lord. 

God turned around a scary health situation for my family and provided for us all this week.  God is good :)