Sigh

Happy Sabbath

I'm not sure what to title this week. I am home and have been home for about 2 hrs now. I had to bring my son to the hospital again for behavioral issues. I was not able to get the treatment I was seeking for him and I am left with a problem when he goes through this again..He perceived another child was being rude to him which resulted in him trying to take her glasses, hit her and taunt her. This led to him trying to push me when I had him sitting next to me at the piano to try to control the situation.  When Sabbath school was to start I talked to him about keeping his hands to himself and as I was scolding him he tried to kick another little angel who was passing by and not bothering a soul. Completely unprovoked. This led to another church sis and myself trying to restrain him and him attempting multiple times to bite, scratch off and pull off skin from my hands. He pinched me and headbutted as well and it went on so long that I decided to move forward with taking him to the hospital.  They wouldn't do an evaluation or offer medication and they said they will not do so if there is no psych doctor already set up to see him. They suggested I try another hospital and I called another one for them to tell me the same info. A psychiatric nurse came out to see him but again it was a dead end. He had calmed down really when he came through the doors of the hospital.  I have to call his pcp Monday and request an appointment to not only request a referral for psychiatric care but to get the topical cream scripts that he is out of. I could request another route via PHP or other out patient programs and I will explore more next week. I am now open to trying medication with him. Something I've always been against. It was the fact that he came at these children unprovoked is what did it for me.

I apologized to the children's parents and truly hope that his behavior has not scarred those girls in anyway. He is never to leave my side. If I'm at the piano, he is sitting in the chair next to me. He cannot come close to the other children. I will keep him separate at church until he can get the treatment he needs to have better control over his emotions.  This cannot happen again.

We had a good day yesterday.  The weather was not the best but we went to my work office and were permitted to take as many computer monitors as we wanted..My company said the IT people were coming over the weekend to recycle the monitors and other equipment.  We as employees were given the go ahead to stop by and pick up as many monitors and mouses as we desired.  I walked out with two 15 inch dell flat screens and two 13 inch I believe with four mouses (mice). I ended up giving away one to a parking attendant for free..The other three we brought back home and I discovered one was missing a power cord (thr smaller one). I've ordered a displayport hdmi dock that can connect two display port male cords, 2 hdmi, USB c, and other options..I do need a power cord for the smaller one and I am able to link the smaller to another monitor with the vga cord it came with. So I'll ask if they can save a power cord for the smaller dell flat screen and if they can't, I'll order one..I've played around with multiple screens before using different computers and I might get a new cpu tower but need to shop around to get something good so I can put this power house of a security desk/office space together in my home..For now I'll work it with my current laptop which is compatible with most if not of what I have. We could also connect it to the Xbox so it would give a better gaming viewing experience. There is so much that could be done. So that and Sunday when my son went to a science fair and the children and Auntie came to our house were good things this week.

I'm trying to stay optimistic. 

I was unexpectedly on the microphone when I scolded my child and let anger start to get the best of me and that was embarrassing but I can't allow myself to feel any of that or anything else right now. I have to get a handle on this stuff. I changed my phone password so he can't sneak off with it to do what he wants..I took his phone and he will have to earn that back. I turned the wifi off so no xbox, computer youtube or other inappropriate things on Sabbath for him. I brought him home, fixed him a meal and he did not say his grace. There is so much more I could say. I need prayer. I'll end with that.

Homeschooling

Happy Sabbath

Today was a good day. This week was a challenging week. My mom's birthday was Monday and the morning was soured when my son went into crisis and I had to have him transported to the hospital. We were stuck there for hours but after he talked to the psychiatrist he came back to himself and we were able to talk. It was very hard seeing him like this. I told myself if there was 1-2 more bad incidents like the previous week that I would withdraw him from his school and try homeschooling.  We had a note to excuse him from school Tuesday but it was early Tuesday morning I decided to make that change for him. I drafted the letter, got assurance from my mom and asked my son what he wanted to do. After talking with him I called to cancel his bus service for the remainder of the school year and mailed the letter to the school to withdraw him. I've been looking for programs that would help him and I plan to create a curriculum for him tomorrow.  I did a sample plan that I used for Wednesday through Friday this week. I saw the track his former school was on and with my subscriptions to ixl.com, abcya and other programs, I think I can match up things pretty well to keep him on track. I am considering moving him out of district for 5th grade and have him on the waiting list for a school that I heard positive things about. We had our first field trip yesterday and the focus was a continuation of our discussion on government, services and what they do for American citizens.  Although he was upset with me having him walk so much, it was a wonderful learning experience that I know he will never forget. It was the first time he took trains and visited some important historical sites in our area. Many tourists flock to this area to see these things and this is right in our backyard. I want to print the photos of his experience and see how I can continue to build on it. He studies Sun-Fri. Mon/Wed/Fri I have block times from 10am to 4pm and tues/Thurs he has more flexible time to add in technology and other topics. Sundays will focus on performing arts/music/art and we will do projects and spend a good hour learning on one of the many instruments I have in my living room (baby grand, clarinets, saxophone, flute, violin, guitar, and trumpet). I'll do lesson plans for the remainder of April and if I can finish for June,  I'll do that as well. I have a live performance/musical paid for him on June 30th so that can be the last day of his 4th grade year. Lots of work but it can be done and I'm happy I can keep him safe from bullying and support his mental health and spend quality time with him.

Please keep us in prayer. I hope you will have a blessed and successful new week and thanks for tuning in. 

Happy Sabbath 😄

Happy Sabbath

I'm home and enjoying the remainder of the Sabbath.  I had a good week. I did a little DOOR Dashing, social work and retail work as scheduled.  I was able to get out to my favorite Asian supermarket and stock up on Thursday and I have a grocery delivery coming tomorrow morning which I look forward to. I put money out for my notary thing I'm in. Will do some studies, take a test and God willing, become a loan signing agent. I want to be a mobile notary and see if this could replace DOOR Dash and even my overnight part time work. My mom's birthday comes next week so I have to shop for a gift for that. Still waiting for my family to return from their trip. Its been a good week and I will not complain.  God is good. I hope that you are enjoying this day and that the Lord will bless you for the new week to come.

Happy Resurrection Weekend!!

Happy Sabbath and Holy Saturday!

I'm home, fed, and blessed today. Church was good but I didn't stay around after service.  I came home to unwind for the afternoon.  I was able to call my son and check in on him during his vacation.  People were asking about him and I told them he was out of town. I didn't feel like answering questions so that was another reason I dipped out. But the message was good and encouraging.  So was the sabbath school lesson reviewed by the Dare to Dream Sabbath school panel. I need to tune in each week for that because otherwise I don't hear the lesson during my busy week. I was able to door dash some before a check engine light came on in the very vehicle I just serviced hours before.  A counselor called to do intake with me for my son so I ended my dash and drove around half focused on the conversation and struggling to figure out my way home. I came home, fed the peacock and his friend cardinal and relaxes for the rest of the day. I started Sabbath activities early by getting into the children's Sabbath school lesson 30min in and cleaned up so I could go to bed and get some real rest.  It has been a good weekend so far. I plan to take my other vehicle to get an oil change tomorrow and get into my garden. I had on my mind to tackle  my parents' property and clip the hedges next week. During my call to my family this afternoon dad asked me about it so il can do it tomorrow since I'll be outside most of the day anyway and it will be too cold for the wasps to get jiggy with me. Later in the week it will be hot so best to get it all done tomorrow right? I mowed my lawn Wednesday and fertilized with milogarnite so all I need to do is clear garden weeds in the back, dump in the soil and seeds and put down fresh mulch in the front.

I'll get off here. Happy Sabbath and Happy Resurrection weekend to you! 

Here are two clips from a lesson I saw on Youversion that were interesting. Enjoy

This Teaching Clip made me think of you. Watch Discover the Good News of Holy Week Explained:

https://www.bible.com/en/videos/41380?orientation=portrait&utm_content=story_clip&utm_medium=share&utm_source=yvapp

This Teaching Clip made me think of you. Watch Discover the Good News of Holy Week Explained:

https://www.bible.com/en/videos/41380?orientation=portrait&utm_content=story_clip&utm_medium=share&utm_source=yvapp

My house could have burned, but God..

Good morning!

I know it's not my typical posting time. I always post on Sabbath about how the week went for me.

God is GOOD!!!!

I left my house with the stove on. I was trying to use a method to remove staining from my Dutch oven and put the pot to a boil with baking soda before leaving out for my oil change appointment.  My appointment time was for 8am and I left the house about 7:35am. I just got back about 9:40am and came in smelling a strange cleaning product smell. I took the pot off the stove immediately but the enamel is ruined and has to be flaked off.

This could have ended soooo much worse. My son and parents went off on their 12 hr drive to the vacation home and they left close to 1am this morning. I will be alone for all of next week until they return. I also have a full day scheduled for door dash. What if I headed out immediately to start dashing and did not come back home??

God is good good good good good!  I have never left the house and forgot to turn off a stove. This is an absolute first. I meant to turn the pot off and let the water and soda sit covered to do its thing. God is good and I am extremely thankful on this preparation and Good Friday which leads to Resurrection Sunday because around here we worship Jesus and don't worship false gods like ashtoreth (Easter). God is GOOD!! Double check your stuff and have a safe Resurrection weekend!!

To Pet or Not to Pet?

Happy Sabbath,

I had a tough time today but God is good. I was talking to my son about childhood on Thursday and started remembering this great time when my cousins from the south came to visit us. I told him about that time and I had never spoken on it. Tell me why the next morning my mother tells me a cousin from the south was coming that afternoon to attend a funeral for another one of her close cousins about 20 minutes away from my town? I didn't know this person. My cousin is not doing financially well and she was not able to attend funerals in our area at least twice in the last few years.  One she was really close to, our beloved cousin Maria she was not able to come. She is about 15 years older than her and she thinks people felt bad for her so someone bought a round trip ticket for her to come this time.

It was a delight seeing her yesterday.  I did notice my son was off during the week and tried to deal with his behavior in different ways (taking away entertainment). Today at church we had to use a different area due to another funeral occuring in the sanctuary.  Strange that my cousin was not too far away attending a funeral and here at my church there was a different service going on. I set about getting things set up with the piano and trying to keep my son from going out of the are we had permission for. After I finished working with my class I had to talk to my son a few times to get him in line. I went to the piano for service and when it was children's story time I looked and noticed my son was not in the room. I went looking for him to find another sis having to restrain him and keep him from hitting his head on the wall. He was trying to hit his head and in complete meltdown. He has not done this in years. I literally had an IEP meeting yesterday and we agreed he could move on to the inclusion class for next year. He is a national honor society candidate,  honor roll, doing great with his animation channel and doing other projects, how could he be going backwards like this. Several people had to chase him and eventually I was able to take him home. He has calmed down and we talked but now I have to get behavioral support again and reconsider his class for next year. Before the meltdown, I talked to him in the hall and he started crying telling me two children were bullying him. I pulled one parent and child aside and we had a talk. I intended to do the other but I had piano responsibilities during the main service so I planned to do it later today. I wasn't able to get the child but did tell the mom what he communicated. Some people don't see it that way but I know my son is not lying about things like this. I know how terrible people can be and teach generation gets worse and worse. I strongly dislike coming to church and people asking if my son is on his meds. My son doesn't take psychotropic meds and I refuse to go that route. He has been great since first grade and I hate that when people see behavior like this they think he is lacking in other areas and he is not. I know that is something I may face when going back next week.

I told my mother what happened and she recommended I get a pet for him. He needs something to look forward to, something to take care of. I refuse to get a dog, they are cute but absolutely disgusting creatures.  Cats bite and scratch you. The kitty litter stinks and they shed alot. I was bit by someone else's cat two weeks ago. So no. I thought about a toothless snake but that would be hard to find. My mom is terrified of snakes. She will never come over again.  So a bird. It's not enough for us to already have male peacocks coming to my door to eat their breakfast and dinner. We talked about it, my mom, my son and I and I think we will leave out after sunset to seek out a bird to add to this chaotic family. My dad shouted he needed a dog in the background. We pay him not mind.

So I need prayer over all this. My son's mental health, our new pet??, my sons education and future, help at church, and my own sanity and pockets. I'm not doing vet bills. If we come home with someone I hope to give them a good life but I hope he or she will be someone my son loves, enjoys, looks forward to interacting with and caring for. Birds require alot. .....I could do an aquarium but I've had fish before. Blah. It's a problem I don't want to create and have. We'll see. Happy Sabbath.

*** Update. 9:06pm. I spent more time talking to my son and thinking about things. It makes no sense to get a pet and I'm not going to. He is passionate about animation, videogames and enjoys being outdoors. I have tried a fish with him in the past and his attention was too short for it. It wasn't long before I was the only one seeing about it. Same for his plants. He's had several indoor plants and has a larger veggie fruit garden than I have yet by June, he has consistently refused to come outside to check on things or tend to it despite the initial excitement.  I end up having to tend to it. I'm out doing lawn work every week. To get a bird will not be fair to the bird. I do not have the time to give to it. It is not financially responsible either. I have real goals I'm working towards and want to ensure my son and I are good by the time he turns 18 and I start giving serious thought about retirement.  Too many people in dire straights with ruined credit and pay check to pay check all too often are pet owners. I hear many stories of people going into debt to pay their pet's medical bills. I don't have the heart to see an animal suffer so I know I too would likely be one of those broke people giving a kidney and a lung to save it...to spare it another 5-6 years. I don't have the energy to risk it escaping the cage and struggling to secure it again. I don't like the fact that it would be in a cage. I want it to be free but not inside my house. I already buy alot of food for the peacocks and they don't even live here. Birds can stink too. I have a child, a tropical rainforest throughout my home, the peacocks and myself to look after.  Having a baby won't make him stay and treat you right. Same goes for buying a bird or other pet. Its creating problems that don't need to be made. Someone else can give those pets a better home. Not me.