In a Little While

Happy Sabbath,

I had a challenging week, but I am here.  I am alive.  I am home and for that I am thankful.  I had all sorts of difficulties this week at work, home, and even with church.  One particularly stressful item is my financial state.  I am in trouble and had on my heart and in my prayers this topic throughout the week.  I believe the Lord spoke to my situation today during Sabbath school and even during a seminar held after the divine hour message.  The person who didn’t know he would leading out Sabbath school decided to bring up something that was on his heart.  He said that there were people who are poor and come to church expecting church to cover their issues.  They expect handouts and another person said there was a woman they knew who had a list of different issues she was dealing with and this woman thought she was supposed to receive payments from the church because of her state.  We can pray and pray for windfall and we may get say a million dollars but that won’t last for long for most people.  Find something you can do.  The word of God says that

Genesis 3:19 (KJV) In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

2 Thessalonians 3:10 says: For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

My mother gave me some money and I am thankful for it, but I know that I cannot sit around and whine and complain that I’m in trouble and need help.  God gave me skills and abilities.  I’m going to have to sweat a little more.  I’m going to have to get a part time job.  I picked up another application and a church sister who works at the nursing home the church and I go to was telling me about opportunities available.  I picked up an application before but decided not to turn it and looked at Amazon and other places that played games with me.  I can no longer sit around and wait for another check to come in the mail or a family member/friend to help me out.  So I have work to do next week.  It’s more important to teach people how to fish than to keep giving out fish until you yourself run out.  I can get another job with the Lord’s help and it will be done.  I was bummed because I worked pretty much a full quarter.  I worked for a bonus of 1k and last week somehow, I made a small mistake and I don’t know if that small mistake is going to cost me that 1k.  I believe it is.  I have had a perfect record for the past two out of four years and some how despite my frequent system checks, a mistake still managed to get through.  I really needed that money and now I have to work harder and wait yet another quarter.  I’ll find out if they will be merciful and give me the 1k because I really REALLY worked hard for it.

I was driving my son home on Tuesday and saw one of a church sister’s son’s playing outside in their yard.  I didn’t know if she was home but had hoped she was so I turned around and decided to bring my son over for an unannounced playdate.  I arrived to find children unsupervised running outside without shoes on.  My son ran in their home so I had to go in and get him.  I waited in the living room with one of her teenage daughters until she arrived home and what I observed over the next three hours of me being there troubled me.  My son by the end of it had picked up a dead squirrel with his hand, I was covered in mosquito bites, a cat was being chased through the house by nerf gun totting children, and dysfunction was every where.  I saw a mother who had no energy or interest in being a parent to her children.  I saw responsibility being put on other young children (despite teens being around) to change the diaper of a barely two year old.  There were other things but I won’t speak about them here.  I am no better than her.  Perhaps if I had as many children as she had, I would feel and respond the same way.  This just goes to show you that you don’t know what someone else is really going through. 

My son of course was sick that night with asthma and had a rash on his face (probably from touching his face with contaminated dead squirrel fingers).  He recovered in time for school the next day but behaviors he picked up from that visit continued through the rest of the week.  I didn’t tell my mother what I saw, just that he picked up a squirrel and there were nerf guns and my mother warned me about exposing my son to some people. Then I saw a bible verse (verse for the day) that hung around in my head for a little bit (by their fruits, you will know them).

Today, chaos erupted with my son being around her children.  They are sweet children, really, but some things they are learning and behaviors that are being reinforced at home are problematic for my son’s well being.  I had to separate him at least twice throughout the day.  We went to nursing home and I was surprised when a different parent came up to me and asked me about play-dates.  I thought she had talked with the other parent of those children but it turns out she did not. Her daughter is four and has the maturity of a forty year old.  She is a wonderful influence to my son and I would love my son to be around them. 

My mother is okay as far as her thyroid.  They waited long enough to announce that the mass they saw in her throat is benign.  A huge weight is lifted off my mother’s shoulders, but she still needs prayer for many other health related things. 

It was a difficult week but God will not give us too much that we cannot handle.  I am thankful for the small victories and the big ones (my mom’s thyroid) and for enough money to make it through to my next pay period.  I thank God for this week and that I can leave this week behind and walk into the new one encouraged. Now I'm going to go practice playing a song by Amy Grant, In a Little While.  If you have not heard it, you should.  Go to youtube and play it.  I hope it encourages you as it encouraged me. 

Happy Sabbath and new week to you.

Portuguese

Happy Sabbath,

I’m glad to get on here and still have Sabbath hours available.  Last Sabbath I got on here a little late because my little sister came over following my visit to my parent’s house to allow my son to meet two other cousins in his peer group.  Today was a lovely day at church.  We had a good service and fellowship lunch and aside from my son acting up and some extra-unwanted attention from a male member, I had a great day. 

I had a good week too and thank the Lord for it.  There was something I forgot to mention that occurred last week and it seems like it just keeps coming up for a reason.  Last week I was on my way to work and as usually on Mondays (occasionally Wednesdays), take mass transit to get to the office the few days I go.  That Monday, I sat on the train as I always do and over heard a woman trying to offer assistance to another person who didn’t speak English.  I love languages and hope to one day become bilingual and who knows, become a traveling interpreter.  Anything with traveling is dream job material at least for me.  I thought she was speaking Spanish and was surprised that no one else on the train offered assistance.  I decided to step in and offered to take her to her destination and by me intervening, I prevented her from getting off at the wrong stop that the lady was thinking she was going to, helped her switch trains and walked her to her new job at a Brazilian restaurant which was only 3-5 blocks away from my office anyway. 

I hate the Portuguese language.  It wasn’t until I was two blocks away from her destination when I realized she spoke Portuguese and not Spanish.  The only word I knew was obrigada.  I am thankful that most of what I said was similar enough so it was helpful to her but I never could get into that language despite working at a past job where I trained large groups of Brazilians who also struggled with the English language.  They were such wonderful groups of people, but I still dislike the language.  It’s like looking at Polish when you have the gorgeous Russian or Ukrainian languages.  The Cyrillic alphabet looks so much and sounds better.  Who wants to get a headache looking at extremely long words with z’s and y’s, and other consonants that shouldn’t be next to each other, NEXT TO EACH OTHER  and you’re supposed to say that mess?  I won’t apologize.  I don’t like the Polish or Portuguese languages.  It’s not attractive to me. 

Today I sat with a talented lady who is a few years younger than me and her mother and learned not only was she an artist but she studied Japanese and was for a good while studying Portuguese.  Somewhere else in the week Portuguese came up.  I don’t know what for.  Maybe God is trying to tell me something about Portuguese.  I don’t know, but for now I’m sticking with everything else but that.  And Polish, yick!

This week I took on a new person to my caseload and now I’m at 30 people.  This person has a whole lot going on and I feel like they chose me as a last resort and I don’t know if it is such a good idea.  My boss said he wants me to work with her because of my disposition.  He hasn’t seen me in action and a lot of times I lack confidence.  I just hope she doesn’t threaten to harm me like she did the previous case manager.  I feel as though people don’t give these clients a chance.  They come in and believe the first things they hear (negative things) about these clients and not with an open mind and empathy that is so needed in this field.  I was warned of all these horrible things.  She’s a liar. She’s manipulative.  She can’t be trusted and this and that.  I met her and she gave me a lot of information but she had receipts.  She was articulate, organized, and spared no detail about why she didn’t want certain people and how they made her feel.  I have seen it happen so much where agencies believe the staff and not the client.  I have another situation that I got involved in and there were two eyewitnesses to physical abuse.  If I didn’t make the call, that staff would still be abusing the same client and other people.  I made the call, forced them to open an investigation and both eyewitnesses gave their statements resulting in that staff getting fired.  This all happened last week.  Then the program director and I had a talk and I felt he was being dishonest with me.  He came at me the wrong way and there was no reason for it.  I’m having a meeting Tuesday coming up to finalize discharge from the program for my client.  But yeah, back to my new person.  I was nervous and not sure what to expect.  I know that she will be a challenge for me but I’m open to it and the Lord doesn’t give us stuff we can’t handle or bear.

Everyone is not in social work because they care about and like working with people.  I don’t want to be in that deceptive number.

Now the man at church.  There is a church brother/elder who is perhaps 10, maybe 15 years older than me. I don’t know.  I feel like he is in that range but looks are very deceiving and it is true what they say about black people, we don’t age. I am not looking for anyone.  My son is to be the deterrent but it doesn’t seem like the son thing is working to deter this person.  When he came to my church, I had just returned from NY and wore this amazing African skirt and headdress.  I was greeted by him and then I was overhearing him asking others about me, what distant exotic land I’m from and all the shebang.  Sorry to disappoint but I’m ADOS.  Ancestry DNA gave me 1 percent Russian but I'm still 93 percent African and of average black American-ness and I can't shake being average and boring. He didn’t see my son those couple weeks because he was in Carolina.  I brought him back thinking that would end the issue but this man keeps his eye trained on me and approaches me whenever he gets the chance.  Today, he cut me in line jokingly and then tried to put his arm around me.  I’ve even seen him try to make small talk with my son the other week. 

I have to figure out how to make that stop.  The other guy, I was feeling better when I saw he finally brought his wife to church.  I was beginning to think he was not married and when I saw her and heard her, I was impressed by her.  She is a gorgeous woman, quick wit, and deeply spiritual.  Perhaps she attends another church and is heavily involved there, I don’t know. Unfortunately, she didn’t come today.  He comes up to me ever so often but I think he’s just a friendly guy and don’t really see too much issue with him.  He held his arms out to invite a hug but I just shook his hand.  I don’ hug men. It’s against my policy and I know the enemy of souls is trying to start some drama at church.  I don’t have time for it. 

The married man can easily be put in his place by the whole church. People pay attention and they are not stupid. There are a lot of mothers in the church and I choose to stay close to them and under their keen eyes.  The other guy, I don’t know his deal but I know he is interested in me.  Then there was the teacher who went back to Jamaica.  He seemed to be in his early forties and I had mistaken another new set of faces to be his wife and daughter when really they were his cousins.  I learned that the last day he had in the states.  So the enemy is stirring stuff up at church and I have to be on my guard.  I refuse to be caught up in another mess again. 

So what do I thank the Lord for this week? 

I thank the Lord for renewed intuition and self-awareness.  I thank Him for financial help by way of my mother.  I thank Him for the four years I have on the job as of early this month.  I thank Him for electricity that works in most of the rooms of my house, food on my table, and clothes on my back.  I thank Him for family, health, and a great church that I can go to where my son can grow and learn.  I thank Him for the Sabbath.  I rested through the night and it was a good sleep.  I thank Him for this afternoon and what I was able to hear and learn about during the Sabbath lunch.  I thank Him that I am still worth something and can be used by Him even if it involves Portuguese.  He’s not finished with me and I am thankful for His plan tailored for my life.  I trust His plan.  I trust His leading.  I just want to always know when He is leading. 

I hope you have a safe Sabbath and new week to come.  Don’t let the devil trip you up at work, home or in any other place of your life.  Stay alert. Stay woke.

In Need of Much Prayer

Happy Sabbath

I have been having a good day.  I spent part of the day at church and the last half with my sister.  I learned this week that my little sister is getting married and that is an exciting a joyous event.  Also this week, my mother had a procedure done (biopsy) and they took samples from her thyroid area.  We will know in less than a week (by Wednesday) if there is an issue or not. 

Lots of things to pray about.  My clients. My sister and her plans for the rest of her life.  My son at school and behavior at home.  My financial situation, home, cricket issue, and power issue.  When I was away, I think a bad storm came through and caused a power surge in my house.  My kitchen lights, plant gallery (dining room light), and bedroom and masterbedroom bathroom lights are not working right consistently.  I had to purchase standing lamps and use extension cords to get light in certain areas.  I don’t have the money to fix it right now. 

There is so much hitting me at one time.  My health, my mother’s health, my dad’s health, my car, again my clients. 

I am being pulled in so many directions and I’m not sure what to do. 

For positives this week, today I had an opportunity to meet another young cousin of mine.  I now know there are three young children in my son’s age group that he can be around.  I am extra cautious around family.  I have some pretty messed up family members but the children from where they originate from, they don’t seem that scary.  I am open to letting my son be around them but I will still be watching and present. I don’t want to hear my son say something unfortunate happened to him 10-15 years later and it was something I could have prevented.  Predators are everywhere.

Another positive is something I heard from my client.  He was in need of money badly and it came through when he was turned down else where.  I am thankful for being in a position where I could also step in and help him out. 

I am thankful for four full years of being employed at my company.  I have a great job, great management team, clients, and still enjoy it as much as when I first started.

I am thankful that I could take my son to the farm.  He had such a wonderful time there and was able to make food for the chickens, feed the chickens and explore/meeting different barnyard animals.

I am thankful that my mom is recovering from the biopsy.  She is less sore and able to speak and hopeful.  I am also thankful to see church members today and one not being in so much pain as I remember seeing her in last week. 

There is lots to be thankful for and there is lots to pray for. 

Financial, Health, Family and Direction.  Those are the things I need prayer for.   I hope you enjoy the rest of your Sabbath and have a safe and prosperous new week.

Reach Out and Touch

Happy Sabbath,

I’m keeping the post short today.  I just got back after a long day at church, planning an event coming up later this month.  I hope that we get a lot of people to show up and that we have more people available to help man the stations.  I volunteered to do two tables but I am concerned about how my son will do and if the person/people watching over the children will Really, keep an eye on him.

I praise the Lord. 

I praise the Lord because I went to the store yesterday.  I bought some items for next week and the weekend and know I am running very low on funds.  When I got home, I decided I was going to clean up around my living room entry way some more.  I had a lot of mail that piled up that needed to be organized and since I don’t have a shredder, I was going to put junk mail in the wood stove to burn.  I went through several envelopes and came across an envelope from the people who were helping me to buy my house.  I opened it and came to discover that they gave me a check for 150 bucks for incomplete secondary inspection charge.  I looked at the date in panic realizing they dated it back for July and at first I thought my last day to get in the bank was today, but it was actually October 9^th, not in September.  I deposied the check right before sunset. 

When I returned home from Carolina, I went to drive home with my son and I had a flat tire in the front.  It was probably the one I accidentally filled up with too much air but removed the excess after getting to a gas station that offers free air but the kind that tells you what your air pressure is.  Unlike the one that I paid 75 cents to fill up air the week before and had no way of knowing what damage it was causing. 

My dad put air in the tire with his machine and the next day I went to Pep boys and PRAISE THE LORD didn’t have to buy a new tire.  It was actually a nail in the tire and they were able to patch it up.  The two front tires are on tred 8 and the rear tires are brand new.  I still have to be careful around potholes because of the bent tire rod but I am back on the road and I thank God for that. 

My son went back to school this week and had a great start.  Thursday was his first day.  The bus picked him up and I was waiting for him to return by bus but the bus never showed.  I got a call from the school saying he missed the bus and they tried to say it was due to his behavior.  When I got to the school, the teacher said it wasn’t his behavior, but a mix up the teachers had and when they realized their mistake, he missed the bus and had to wait at the principals office.  I am thankful that he had two great days despite being really grumpy and rude to my parents and myself his first day.  He went to church today and was able to participate in Sabbath school.  Some of the other church activities were missed due to miscommunication between the pastor and church members.  We ended up meeting out in a parking lot for hours and as I said we just got back.

So I thank God for the nail in the tire, that it cost 16 bucks and not 230.  I am thankful for the check I found in the mail.  I thank Him for an opportunity to support at church through music ministry.  I am getting better with playing and am working on my transpositions.  I want to be able to play any song at any time in any key when someone calls it out.  I was able to find the key for one song but the second one someone interrupted with I was not ready and had to turn to the page in the hymnal to get it.  I am playing songs by memory now and know many by number.  I took my son to the other church where my membership lies and he went to the piano.  He started playing a song that sounded nice but heres the thing.  My son does not know how to play piano and usually shows no interest in learning at home.  I taped it.  He needs to learn and I want to teach him.  Much to do. 

Today was a good day and I heard a good message at church.  Elder talked about the woman who had an issue of blood.  He talked about how Jesus went about healing people, reaching out and touching people.  The review of this story, of history shows that we too have the ability to touch Jesus.  This woman touched Jesus and virtue went out of Him and she was healed.  Imagine that in order for her to touch the hem of his garment, the very bottom, she had to be crawling, struggling, reaching with everything she had.  Thousands pressed about Him and she was only able to touch the hem of His garment.  She touched Him and healing, strength, everything she needed was given to her.  We can do the same.  Reach out to Jesus.  Reach for His garment.  You don’t have to wait for Jesus to reach out and touch you for your life to change.  Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

Happy Sabbath