Taking the Name of Jesus With Me Into 2018

Happy Sabbath,

It is a beautiful afternoon and I had a nice time at church today.  I had a good week and am looking forward to a whole new year if the Lord permits.  

The Lord allowed for my son and I to enjoy many great moments together this year. From zoos and parks, to museums, race car driving, and the beach, I am happy with the way 2017 has gone for us and look forward to doing more with him in the new year.  In the new year, it seems my family is starting a new tradition which will require me to drive 10-12 hours for the summer and other holiday events.  I have not taken my car out for longer than 2.5-3 hours so this should be interesting but I am thankful that I have homes away from home where I can go to do this.  

I expect to go on a ski trip with my son and church family in 2018 and am excited for that.  I want to give my son a fun birthday in January but most of all, I want to see us in our own house.  

I really have to depend on the Lord for this and if it is His will, we will have a house in May 2018.  There are knowns that make me nervous about going forward with this and there are so many unknowns that make me want to hold off.  All I know is I do not want to be in another apartment.  I returned home one sabbath months ago to see the apartments across from me go up in flames. At this hour, I can still look straight through in the burned out property and 6 units were evacuated.  The rent will continue to go up and up and up and I’m certain I can find a mortgage for much less than what I am paying now.  If I get the house in May, my parents will take my son away on vacation for the rest of the summer and I will be alone working on the house during the summer.  I am all for diy work and learning carpentry and electrical skills, but I am nervous to be doing this on my own.  I don’t know where the Lord will put us.  I have income that I wish was double what it is and as a single parent not getting any major discounts, section 8, or other savings offers, I feel like I could be making a big mistake, but I want a house.  I don’t want a condo, a town house, an apartment, or a row home.  I want a stand alone home with at least 3 bedrooms, a wood fenced yard and space enough to have a green house in the back (which because of the township I’m looking at, I’m sure I’ll have to pay for a bunch of permits for that and more that I want to do).  You have to get a permit for everything.  

I want a grand piano in my living room and to teach music in my home to more students.  I want my son to have his own bedroom and to have an office for a future business I of course will ponder as I decorate the space.  I want my own bathroom.  I want to be able to invite friends over without being concerned about having enough space or dealing with neighbors putting ears to the wall.  I don’t want to have to worry about someone else’s pest problem coming through my walls.  I want a lot of things but God is the only one who can say I should have them.  These are things I want.  I will say my son needs to have his own room.  He is going to be 5 years old and he needs more privacy as do I.  He needs space and room to run and play without me constantly shouting at him to be quiet and not disturb a neighbor downstairs or next door.

He needs space to grow and where we currently are, it is stifling although it is the biggest apartment I’ve ever rented.  This is the main reason I say I need a house.  

I pray that 2018 will bring the changes I need in my relationship with Jesus and that I am used more for His glory.  I pray to be more honest and less selfish. To have more temperance, better health, and be less inclined to anger and more to depend on God to calm me and give me clearness of mind when I am upset or confused about any given situation.  

I hope you all are ready for the new year. Remember to take the name of Jesus with you for each day of it.  Happy New Year and Happy Sabbath :)

Take the Name of Jesus With You Into 2018

Happy Sabbath,

It is a beautiful afternoon and I had a nice time at church today.  I had a good week and am looking forward to a whole new year if the Lord permits.  

The Lord allowed for my son and I to enjoy many great moments together this year. From zoos and parks, to museums, race car driving, and the beach, I am happy with the way 2017 has gone for us and look forward to doing more with him in the new year.  In the new year, it seems my family is starting a new tradition which will require me to drive 10-12 hours for the summer and other holiday events.  I have not taken my car out for longer than 2.5-3 hours so this should be interesting but I am thankful that I have homes away from home where I can go to do this.  

I expect to go on a ski trip with my son and church family in 2018 and am excited for that.  I want to give my son a fun birthday in January but most of all, I want to see us in our own house.  

I really have to depend on the Lord for this and if it is His will, we will have a house in May 2018.  There are knowns that make me nervous about going forward with this and there are so many unknowns that make me want to hold off.  All I know is I do not want to be in another apartment.  I returned home one sabbath months ago to see the apartments across from me go up in flames. At this hour, I can still look straight through in the burned out property and 6 units were evacuated.  The rent will continue to go up and up and up and I’m certain I can find a mortgage for much less than what I am paying now.  If I get the house in May, my parents will take my son away on vacation for the rest of the summer and I will be alone working on the house during the summer.  I am all for diy work and learning carpentry and electrical skills, but I am nervous to be doing this on my own.  I don’t know where the Lord will put us.  I have income that I wish was double what it is and as a single parent not getting any major discounts, section 8, or other savings offers, I feel like I could be making a big mistake, but I want a house.  I don’t want a condo, a town house, an apartment, or a row home.  I want a stand alone home with at least 3 bedrooms, a wood fenced yard and space enough to have a green house in the back (which because of the township I’m looking at, I’m sure I’ll have to pay for a bunch of permits for that and more that I want to do).  You have to get a permit for everything.  

I want a grand piano in my living room and to teach music in my home to more students.  I want my son to have his own bedroom and to have an office for a future business I of course will ponder as I decorate the space.  I want my own bathroom.  I want to be able to invite friends over without being concerned about having enough space or dealing with neighbors putting ears to the wall.  I don’t want to have to worry about someone else’s pest problem coming through my walls.  I want a lot of things but God is the only one who can say I should have them.  These are things I want.  I will say my son needs to have his own room.  He is going to be 5 years old and he needs more privacy as do I.  He needs space and room to run and play without me constantly shouting at him to be quiet and not disturb a neighbor downstairs or next door.

He needs space to grow and where we currently are, it is stifling although it is the biggest apartment I’ve ever rented.  This is the main reason I say I need a house.  

I pray that 2018 will bring the changes I need in my relationship with Jesus and that I am used more for His glory.  I pray to be more honest and less selfish. To have more temperance, better health, and be less inclined to anger and more to depend on God to calm me and give me clearness of mind when I am upset or confused about any given situation.  

I hope you all are ready for the new year. Remember to take the name of Jesus with you for each day of it.  Happy New Year and Happy Sabbath :)

God Willing

Happy Sabbath,

I have had a great week and a good day at church.  Last week at church, I was able to attend and enjoy an evening concert with my son.  I watched him be a wise man and I even had a chance to particpate and play piano for the son Oh Holy Night. 

This week, I was able to get a lot of work done and really be there for my clients.  I decided not to take any time off this month so I could really do justice for them and I am glad that I am able to tie up loose ends before the new year. 

My mind is on my friend right now and her family.  She has come to church last week and today and she is going through a lot.  Her parents are not kind people and they verbally abuse her and her husband.  She has told me many things and they ahve a family business they survive off of.  She and her husband get their money from her parents.  They are very cruel to them and favor their grand daughter over the younger grandson (neglecting his needs but buying expensive toys and items for her instead).  I think her son looks more like his father so this may be part of the reason. 

It is terrible that people treat people like this today but I am thankful for Jesus because He can make a way for them and for others.  I listened to a sermon about Saul of Tarsus today.  If God can change Saul's heart, one who was bent on killing followers of Christ in his fury, God can change the hearts of my friend's family members. 

They need so much help, they really do.  Please say a prayer for them that Jesus comes into their lives and changes them. 

I listened to testimonies today and much like what happened before, someone had a similar testimony to me.  She shared that she had to administer medication to her sick family member around the clock but she did not have an alarm clock.  She said she prayed for the Lord to help her to wake at the appropriate time to administer the medication.  She had to wake up at 4:30 to give it. She went to sleep and woke up at 4:40am to administer it. 

I am doing the same thing for my son.  He was diagnosed with an ear infection and has been having wheezing and coughing for some time.  The doctor gave him an antibiotic and ordered that he stay out of school until the 22nd, but the 22nd was the last day of school so I decided to keep him home.  I have to give him amoxicillin every 8 hours and the schedule my mother started when Ireturned from work was 8pm, 4am, and 12pm.  I also depended on the Lord to wake me up. I unlike my church sister, have a phone alarm but I decided not to use it.  I have been waking up around 4am to administer the med to my son and he is sounding so much better. 

Whenever I don't speak about somethiing God has done, God seems to have someone else speak and share a similar testimony to what I would have shared if I had opened my mouth. 

I would say this year is the year I have been stumbling upon money on the ground or left behind by others.  I went to a bathroom and when Iwent to the sink, a five dollar bill was on the counter sitting in a small puddle of handsoap.  I took the bill thinking I would have to use it to pay for the parking garage at a hospital I had to stop at right after to see my last client for the day. I went to the hospital and when I went to the garage, I thought about leaving right away to reduce the charges Iwould incur for staying, but I decided to stay in the garage and send out an detailed email to enlist the support of my client's team members who needed to know about a service issue she would have starting in January. She needs these services to survive and I didn't want to waste any more time driving some where and trying to pull on the side of the road to send the message after reviewing the service manual.  I sent the email and when Iwent to leave the garage, there was no charge.  The arm lifted up and I was able to drive out without issue.  That $5.00 went to my buy a house jar.  I have a jar with the money I am earning from the piano lessons I give, money I find on the ground, and any excess I might have at any given time.  I have not counted any of it. 

I am trying to save what I can and am trying not to be worried about the future.  My car started having a burning smell when I was driving my friend back home. I just had the car serviced on Sunday and no lights showed up on the dashboard so I'm not sure what that was about. I don't have money for a major car repair now.  I am trying to save money for appliances and other things I will need for the house.  I am trying to save money for my son's health care.  He has CHIP and his renewal is in March/April.  With all that is happening with government, I don't know what will happen for him.  At best I could add him to the dental plan I have through my employer but I cannot afford the full insurance offered through them as it amounts to almost the whole of one paycheck (bi-weekly paycheck that is).  He could have excellent benefits if I allow my parents to have custody of my son, but I'd rather struggle through dirt than to end up in a situation similar to my friend where she is not permitted to take her children anywhere without her parent's permission.  Her husband is not legal in this country and this is how they are able to keep control over him so he cannot take the children anywhere either without their consent.

I need money for lots of things and don't know what tomorrow will be like.  I am learning to say "this or that will happen...God Willing".  I will have a house next April or May, God willing.  I will have other things that I need or think I need God willing. 

I have to learn how to put God's will first in all areas of my life.  God has blessed me with much.  Take some time today to think about what God has blessed you with and thank Him today.  Even if it doesn't feel like it, God has blessed you.  Acknowledge Him now for it.

A Life Well LIved

Happy Sabbath,

I am thankful for a good week and for today.  I was able to do good at my meetings this week and the Lord kept me safe on the road despite the weather, crazy drivers and all that is going on. 

Today, I was able to pick up a church friend and go to church on time.  I had expected that after service, we'd go home and return later to watch a wonderful Christmas concert.  I didn't expect for someone to ask that my son participate and be a character in a play (I'm a bit nervous about this).  I also didn't expect someone to ask me to play piano for their song which I'm about to go and practice the accompaniment right now. Today is turning out to be a busier day than most but I am thankful that I can be a part of the celebration and that the Lord can use me in some fashion for His glory.  I spoke to an elder at the church and asked them about joining the church and he told me there would be a ceremony in the new year.  Another person I don't ever recall seeing also wanted to take part and I learned that a baptism is to occur on the same date.  I am looking forward to this.  Of course doing this is several months earlier than I had planned.  I wanted to own my house in the neighborhood before doing the profession of faith.  I've been attending this church for over a year now and I was handed a paper with the list of people who were nominated for certain offices and my name happened to be on that paper.  It's long overdue that I join. I want to be back doing what the Lord wants me to do and I need to take that step and commit.  I am thankful for the opportunity and that my son has grown to the point where we can sit in the sanctuary and I can listen to the sermon. 

I learned the other day that my Sunday school teacher passed away.  When I was growing up, I went to a Methodist church the next block over from my house.  I didn't remember much from the church.  I remember my sunday school teacher talking about Daniel and the Lion's den but other than that, my focus was on the smell of food being cooked for the Sunday morning meal following Sunday school.  My son is at that young age going to church and seeing all these different sights, hearing all these different things around him.  I want him to take it in and understand what is being discussed.  He remembered major parts of the story of Jesus today for Sabbath school and he enjoys coming to church.  I want him to learn about God and not focus on food like I did.  My sunday school teacher left behind a large family and did a lot of great things for the Lord and her community.  Even though she worshiped on a different day, I believe that the Lord has accepted her because of her strong faith and how she followed what she knew.  I hope to live as long as her and leave a life that people will remember, a life lived of faith and obedience.  A life that was honest and held on to the truth no matter what.  I hope the same for you too.

Happy Sabbath :)

Snow Day Wasp

Happy Sabbath,

I had a good week thanks to the Lord.

I decided this month that I would not take any time off. I want to really do justice to my caseload and be there working hard for them to tie up all important ends before the year end. So I will not be making 4 or 5 day weekends like I did last year. I'm glad that I made this decision because attention is being drawn to the quality of my work and although I received an outer agency and internal pat on the back, I need to step my game up. God has me in this job for a reason so i need to give my best effort every day.

I thank the Lord for keeping my son and I safe through another week. I thank Him that my son is doing good behaviorally at school and this school change is working out for now.

I thank Jesus for church today. It is snowing and I was able to get there early without car issues.

This morning my son and I came down the stairs and saw a paper wasp. I guess some how they breached the duct tape barrier i put to close off their nest in my kitchen ceiling. I came home to put more tape up there to keep them at bay. I'll know in the coming days if this worked or if they tunneled their way through else where.

I thank the Lord that my son can sit quietly in the sanctuary. When we sit in the mothering room, other children come and it tends to be loud and disruptuve to those in the room and sanctuary. Children ask me unnecessary questions. Late comers start up conversations that are not the most appropriate for the time. I plan to keep him in the sanctuary with me.

I thank Him for the Sabbath a day I can spend time with Him and rest.

That's what I am going to do now. I hope you will enjoy yours too.

Good Week

Happy Sabbath

My son and I are home today, but I still want to thank the Lord for keeping us through the week.

My son started at the new school on Monday and it went  well. He only cried and resisted when it came time for him to come in after recess. He is getting to know his new classmates and is excited about being in school again. He is also getting the school bus again and that makes things easier on us all. I was surprised to learn that the person who ran my summer camp when I was a child is his classroom aide. I had a positive experience with her and I even ran into her when I was trying to get my son in the first school and remembered her. I remember no one so it is a big deal. I am thankful that she is still around after all these years working in the district.

I had some attacks from the enemy, mainly through co-workers this week, but I expected something o come. When you decide to stand up and be willing to work for the Lord, attacks will come from somewhere. I’m staying encouraged.I am thankful that I am able to recognize his attacks and be prepared.

I received an outside agency bravo yesterday and all my bosses congratulated me. I never received something like this before and even though I don’t like attention brought to myself on my job, it was nice. I decided his month that I would not take advantage of the long weekends off by adding one or two extra days to them. We get many paid holidays off but because I  used so much time in November, I have missed some very important items that need to be addressed. Taking even more time off in December will not do any Justice to my clients. I want to finish the year strong and not be in the dark with all the new regulations and changes coming for January.

My son started complaining of being sick on Thursday. He went to school Friday and since he sounded bad yesterday, I decided to keep him home today. He is doing better and we are having a good Sabbath.

I thank the Lord for His traveling mercies. A person almost ran me off the road and I encountered some other terrible drivers out there. I made it out and back home safe and sound.

I made a little money with my part time business and I thank Him that as well. Those funds will go to things I need for the house I hope to buy in April/May. 2018.
I hope you have had a great week and that you will continue to for the next.

Thanksgiving for Next Year

Happy Sabbath,

I am thankful for tomorrow and 2018 if the Lord should let me see it.

I am thankful that I could spend another thanksgiving with my family and that the Lord is sorting out a bunch of issues I am going through right now.  

First was my tooth.  The other week, I bought some candy and decided to munch on some skittles.  Now that they are gelatin free, I was going to town on them and managed to crack a large metal filling that is in the back of my mouth from when I was perhaps about 10 years old.  I couldn’t chew on that side and ended up scheduling a root canal appointment this week.  They were going to charge me over $409 out of pocket and I went in search for my emergency credit cards and could not locate them.  I decided to use my main card and when I went to the doctor, I found out that the quote they gave me was not correct and it was actually more for the total (my insurance had changed and the procedure would max out my $1000 deductible).  I was advised to get what was scheduled that day which turned out to only be $279, not the $409 I expected to pay.  After the new year, the cost for doing the crown would be much lower since I’d be started with a clean slate and the person quoted around $200-$300 for the last of the work.  That is better than over $800 if I decided to go with everything before the new year.  I had it done and while wearing the rubber dam, it seems to have started a new issue on my other side which has had work done.  I am dealing with it and have changed my food consistency to soft chopped (no change for liquids).  So no more skittles or popcorn for me.

I am thankful that the card I had could handle the cost.  I have racked up a lot of debt on two cards and have been working hard to pay both of them down/off, so this dental procedure is a major set back.  I have a third credit card that has no balance on it, but Amex plays tricks with the due dates so I have avoided using it. 

Secondly, I am thankful for another chance for my son.  I went to the meeting at the school for my son right after my root canal and discussed transferring him to the appropriate program.  He starts on Monday.  They said that if he has a melt down at school, the staff are trained to handle it (applied behavioral analysis) and they will not send him home.  He will be at the new school in the section of the town that I want to buy a house in.  He was able to get his flu shot and another immunization done in time this week so I drove over immediately after the transition meeting and dropped off this information with the new school nurse (who had just received his file faxed over from the other school).

I am thankful that I could have five days off from work to get stuff together.  Tomorrow, I expect to work with two of my students.  I ordered materials online and went to another store and picked up additional materials after thinking the online location was not going to send the books in time. I called the warehouse for the online location and no one answered the phone so they were closed on Black Friday I guess.  I was determined to come with professional materials so I stopped by my other childhood music store which relocated closer to me.  In going there, my son was able to have his first Daniel Tiger moment like the music man Stan shop episode and he was excited to see all the instruments, music, and bathroom.  I was able to purchase a back up Charlie Brown collection book as I misplaced my other one.  There are several songs I enjoy playing in the book around Christmas time and I was able to get it 50% off.  It was hidden under a bunch of random generic Christmas books and loose sheet music and God knows that I was saying in my heart that I wanted only that book for myself if I could find one anywhere in that store.  I was able to buy other materials that go in the series I am using for my students and my son.  

I am thankful to have an opportunity to go to church today and to have fellowship with other church members.  I received a request from the church’s board to help out with one of the children’s classes.  I am concerned about any assignment as I need to make sure my son is not all over the place and being supervised by people I trust.  I don’t trust many people so I am always with him.

The last time a church board elected me to do something, Satan came in fast and furious with an attack through the person I was dating and his exgirlfriend.  We were feuding with each other and I ended up stepping down because everything was becoming too much.  I don’t know how the attack will come.  All I know is if I stand up to do anything for the Lord, it will come.  Accepting a role no matter how small is not something I take lightly.  Even playing for Sabbath school is not a game.  All of it needs to be brought before the Lord in regular prayer.  

A church member told me that in January, there is going to be a profession of faith ceremony along with electing members to their new roles.  I am not a current member of this church despite having attended every week consistently (except for one time when my son was sick) for over a year.  Some see me as a member.  Others don’t even know my name.  I’ve noticed that some started learning my name after they discovered that I could do some useful things. I don’t want to get big headed or lose sight of what is important.  

I want my son and I to have the best relationship we could possibly have with Jesus.  I want both of us to continue to strive towards excellence in everything we do.  People can think what they want to think about us.  With the Lord on our side, we can do anything and become anything.  We will live in that beautiful house next year.  My son will have better control over himself at school.  There are so many other things that we both will improve in.  

We will trust and God and we will be alright.  

Thankful

Happy Sabbath,

I had a great and challenging week.  Today and yesterday really were the highlight of the week.  To start, I stayed over at my parents house to get an early start on Monday morning at work.  I came back from vacation still sick from the previous week but was able to tackle a lot of challenges coming my way on the job.  Monday, I received a report from my son’s school that he did okay during the morning but then everything went down hill for the rest of the afternoon. I went to the dentist Monday to also find out that I cracked a metal filling in the back of my mouth.  I cracked it while munching on some skittles (they are gelatin free now so I went to town). I now have to get a root canal which will cost me $409.50 out of pocket with my new insurance.

On Tuesday, I received a call from the assistant principal asking for me to come pick him up.  I asked for my parents to pick him up because I was miles away and still on the job.  When I spoke with my mother later that day, she said that he was really out of control and expelled from the school. 

She said the word expelled but it didn’t register in my mind and I was determined to speak with the school to see where we really were.  I spoke with the assistant principal who said that he was not expelled, but we needed to have a team meeting and come up with some strategies before he could return.  She suggested he stay home on Wednesday and come back Thursday but I said he needed to stay out every day until something is set in place or else, he will just repeat the same behaviors.  He was fighting the teacher, students, other adults, kicking the cots of other students, screaming, throwing items, hitting things, and causing many teachers to come out from their classrooms to try to calm him down.  Nothing calmed him down. His teacher was in tears. He didn’t quiet down until after he was in the car with his grandparents and even when they walked with him through the school and out to the car, he caused a scene.  They checked his file and said they could not find any information on him having an autism diagnosis despite receiving this information from the neurologist in 2014 which started him with therapists and connected him to the school in the first place. 

I didn’t know what to say to him or to do.  I have tried time outs, taking items away, spanking him, scaring him.  I tried cutting out sweets, making him go to bed, and reasoning with him.  You can’t really reason with a four year old. 

So my son was suspended from pre-kindergarten.  I spoke with the principal, teacher, and finally school social worker who agreed to meet with me in person right after my root canal is completed.  That meeting is the day before thanksgiving which I was forced to take off for said root canal. 

I received a request from the school to make sure I bring the evaluation from the neurologist.  I have a binder for my son with most of his medical visit summaries but felt as though I would not be able to find the document.  First of all, I don’t know where the binder is and I believe I was looking for documentation before and could not find it, so I didn’t really try to hard.  The binder is somewhere in my home.  I have so many papers and boxes, I couldn’t be bothered.  When I asked at the pcp the previous Monday when my son needed a z-pack, they didn’t have it.  So I called the place where he had the evaluation done and they said I could pick it up or have it faxed.  If I had it faxed to my email-fax, I could run into trouble since calls and faxes are paid through the Medicaid waiver which funds my agency and I would be stealing.  I glanced at the clock and decided to make a mad dash to the hospital 25 minutes away to pick up the document, not knowing what costs I would incur or where I was going.  My dad drove me down there before, I never had to drive there. I drove there and pulled the wrong way into the parking garage.  I turned around before it could be an issue and parked in a patient only spot, ran in the hospital and was directed to the second floor.  A lady and her children were at the information counter I was supposed to go to but when she saw me, it seemed as though she felt the need to throw even more questions in to the clerk so I decided to head over to the other desk and gave them the name of the person I was to speak to about my son’s documentation.  I was able to receive the documents right away without charge.

I ran out of the hospital and outside to find some money on the ground.  There was no one around so I picked it up and ran to the garage wondering if I could pay cash or credit to get out of the garage and where I would have to pay.  I pulled over to the exit for the machine to not charge me. 

I was doing all this rushing because I was supposed to be in route to my first work appointment.  I asked google to have my gps direct me to that place and it said “yes, navigating right away” (what ever it says you know) but the gps lied to me.  I decided to follow street signs and let go of the gps and drove myself to my appointment on time.  After my appointment, I spoke to the school social worker over the phone and she agreed to meet with me next week and told me to bring the paper work.  She suggested transferring my son to a program that has trained ABA therapists at a different school (the school in the park where I want to purchase my house next year).  She said she witnessed his behavior and believes he should go there and I do too.  I drove to my next destination but when I was ¾’s of the way there, I received a call from my client from the first location that I dropped my bank card outside on the sidewalk.  The house supervisor who stopped there when I was leaving works at an office down the street from where I was actually headed so I asked for her to bring it to her office and I would pick it up. I was able to pick it up in good time after my last appointments ended. 

Today, I went to church with my son and decided to not permit him to go to the play room.  He brought no toys, tablets, or nonsense with him.  A church sister gave my son some great books to read and took him downstairs for Sabbath school while I played piano for the start of Sabbath school for the adults.  The service was great.  My son stayed in one spot and was able to write and draw on paper quietly.  The pastor talked about Difficult Spirits and what we could do to work through situations involving evil and demon attack.  He mentioned psalm 23 as something he and others have recited that has helped in difficult situations.  He witnessed exorcisms as well.  Prior to him talking about praying and fasting and what the Bible says we should do, a church sister gave the children’s story.  She talked about her experience being sick and going to the hospital for surgery and angels that God sent to comfort her.  She saw the same angel of two that came the day her daughter died.  She saw that angel in the operating room.  She also saw that angel when she was healing and they visited her when she was at home. She took a cell phone photograph of them and printed it out to share with the church because telling most people, they would not believe.  The picture was black and white and she said she took it of the side of the angel while they were not looking.  She mentioned that their face was turned.  I looked at the photo and saw the side of the angel’s face looking off to the right.  It was hard to see, but it was there.  I was so blessed to hear her testimony and that she is doing better because she has gone through a lot.  To know that Jesus loves us and that God sends even angels for His purpose, she said that each time she encountered the angels, she was filled with great joy, such joy she could not find words to describe it. 

She gave the children (who were playing and not paying attention to the story) something she promised some time ago: a prescriptions list.  They are Bible verses that provide answers for all human troubles and questions that we have.  I took the page and when I got home. I put it on my refrigerator.  I also prayed with my son in the car and went over psalm 23.

There are other things that happened this week, but I want to thank God for the following:

I want to thank God that we were able to go to church and sit through the entire service; that I was able to hear the message without the usual distractions.

I thank God for helping me to get the neurology report for free, finding the money for free, getting free parking in a garage that should have charged me $5, and for returning my bank card to me when I didn’t even know I lost it.

I thank God for keeping me safe out on the road with these wild drivers.

I thank God for that sister’s testimony and the visiting pastor’s sermon and his amazing piano playing and singing.  That was extra special, so much that I had to record it to hear it again.

I thank God that there is another school my son can go to and people who are trained to work with my son. 

It’s autism but it’s a demon as well.  It is a difficult spirit that he is struggling with and I needed to hear the sermon today.  There is nothing too hard for God or difficult for Him to handle, remove, or heal.  I’m giving this over to God, this situation with my son. 

I thank God for revealing the source of the bedbugs.  My parents purchased a new bed when my little sister moved out of their house.  Then after my older sister moved in, she started having itching and problems.  She went to the dermatologist and they prescribed creams but couldn’t tell her what was wrong with her.  The bed frame and mattress had bedbugs in them.  I came over on Tueday morning to find they trashed the mattress and were removing other items from the room.  I went home to give them the foggers I never used and spray (I brought home 2 of those nasty critters but didn’t know where they came from so that’s why I had the products).  They were able to save some money in treating the room.

I thank God that my son is willing to try new foods if Elsa or other cartoon characters are printed on the cover of the meal boxes.  He tried mac and cheese and doesn’t like it.  I don’t blame him, I don’t like mac and cheese either.  He ate some corn and ate all the pudding with magic color changing blue sprinkles and white stars! 

I thank God for a video I watched about this woman who was Funding Her Dream.  It inspired me to try something new for myself.  She has two children and their father was incarcerated.  She knew how to make money but didn’t know how to save it.  She made many lifestyle changes and was able to save over $60k in 3 years time or so to fund her dream, what ever it was.  I thank God for putting things before me that inspire me to do better and be a better person.  I thank God for helping me to learn to knit and not just that, but to make what is now one of my favorite scarves to wear in less than 8 hours.  I knit that scarf in the same day and wore it the next morning.

I thank God because He is good.  What are you thankful for today?

Guiso

Happy Sabbath,

I had a good week off from work this week.  My son sneezed in my face and coughed in my mouth a couple times while I was talking so I was sick the entire time, but I still had a great week. 

We spent some great time bonding together at home and the other day, we went to the park.  I decided to walk him down towards the creek a different way (the way I went on my birthday last month) and showed him the sand bar which gives easy access for boats and creatures to launch from.  When we were on our way walking, I saw an adult doe off to my right but my son missed it.  There was no need to worry, because we would see many more deer through the park as we went on our search for unblemished fallen leaves and pine needles.  We went to the park with the purpose of finding leaves for my wreath and pine needles or some other natural material for his reindeer he wants to give to grandma for Christmas.  He wants to make a snow man for pop-pop so we have most of what we need for that at home.  We walked for the first time together all the way through the dark wood and followed the path all the way around the park.  As we walked, we saw five more fawns in different spots close by and when we drove out of the park, a pack of three fawns stood close to the road and gave our shouted farewells blank stares. 

We filled an entire bag with pine needles and another with leaves, green pine needles on the branch, some acorns, and pebbles.  I spent time with my son gluing individual pine needles and bunches on the body of a papermache reindeer I bought from Jo-Ann’s Fabric and Craft supply store.  It has a couple more days of work it needs,  but the finished product should be amazing.  It will have an acorn nose and pebble eyes too.  I decided to use the green pine needles for my wreath and it is getting close to those William and Sonoma style wreaths.  Why pay over $100 for a wreath when you can visit your local forest or park and pick everything you need up for free? And the plus is that my son was able to see a bunch of real deer to give him inspiration for his own reindeer project.  God is good.

On Thursday, I received a call from Hope who told me she had wanted to make something for church today, but the person who said they would offer assistance didn’t call her on Sunday.  I decided to go out and get the items and in doing so, I ran into the person who keeps asking me to play piano for Sabbath school coming out of the store.  I never run into people I know so it was really nice.  I ended up going to at least three stores because I forgot to purchase the lemon at the last.  I dropped the items off at her house and missed a call from her today as my son and I were late heading out and contending with a spider at the front door.  I later learned her dad dropped her off and I was able to talk to her and tell her about some of the tragedies that the Lord brought me through.  I am glad I had the time to talk to her about the tough times, but also lift up the name of Jesus in it. 

Despite all that I went through, Jesus really helped me get through it. 

For what she planned to make, she made something called guiso (stew but with okra) and she brought it to church but our church is a shelter during code blue days.  The fellowship meal after service was to be cancelled due to the cots being set up for the code blue and Hope’s mom would not allow her to leave the pot of guiso at the church so we had to figure out a way to serve it or else it would have to go home with her.  She was able to serve it to all those interested and had only a little left to take home for herself.  It was really nice to see everyone running around with their bowls enjoying it and I had a bowl of it myself with rice and it was delicious.   We were worried that all of her effort would go to waste, but God made sure everyone who needed something received a bowl and all to took of it enjoyed it (and she didn’t have to leave her mom’s pot at the church). 

This week also, I was munching on some candy and now one of my teeth hurts on the upper left.  I might have to get a root canal or filling and I just received a notice that I’m overdue for a cleaning.  I went about scheduling a dental appointment for me and when doing so, I had to reschedule my son’s flu shot appointment to the next week.  When I went to put in his appointment to my phone calendar, I noticed there was an appointment saved in there at 4:30pm, but didn’t say for who or what.  I called the doctor’s office back to find out that the appointment that was plugged in for 4:30pm was for me (scheduled several months ago actually) and what was so great about it, my son’s was scheduled for the same day at 4:45pm immediately after.  I didn’t even know it but God had it all worked out.

There were so many other good things that the Lord has done but I just want to come on here to mention these.  God is good.  I hope you enjoy the rest of this Sabbath too and thank the Lord for the good things He does and puts in your life. 

Unexpected

Happy Sabbath,

I had a good week this week and thank God that I could see another Sabbath day.  I went to church today and am glad to have run into someone who has not been to church in some weeks.  Actually, a few days ago, I was looking through my phone and was thikning about numbers to delete.  I don’t like to make myself vulnerable and share certain details about my life.  I have a very limited list of people who I have done this with but because of my work and other responsibilities, I don’t make myself available.  I deleted certain numbers from my phone and came across hers but decided to keep it.  I recently also deleted a work client’s number from my phone because they were removed from my caseload. 

I received an email late Thursday from my supervisor asking me if I would consider taking that client back.  I enjoyed working with her but I dropped her mainly because I had an embarassing performance when I first started working with her. Her team requested me back because I worked with her for the longest I guess and because the others did not last that long.  Now I have to add her number back.  I haven’t worked with her since July.  Today, when talking with the person who’s number I kept, I saw that I also have not talked with her since July either after viewing my phone history. 

I thought she moved to another town but she is still stuck staying with her parents.  She, her husband and two young children live in their parent’s home and she endures verbal abuse almost daily by her parents.  We talked about parenting and some how I ended up talking about some difficult times I went through.  Doing so brought unexpected tears and at a time when the church was closing up and people walked in.  I thank God that I had an opportunity to talk to someone who shares similar challenges to mine.  She offered some advice that I am going to try with my son and  it’s just nice to talk to someone who is as nice as her and genuine in their concern.  I’ve been going to this church for over a year consistently yet those who are members do not know or try to know me or others like her who come.  I am not looking for a church family and if I was, I’d be very disappointed at least with this experience.  The most touching experiences I’ve had were through the visitors who come.  They come with thankfulness, a testimony, and a word to encourage others. 

My son has been having a difficult time at school behaviorally. This is something else I’m praying about.  He starts having trouble around nap time and rebels against the teacher and aids (hitting others, kicking/damaging property, etc..). 

I pray that I can provide a stable safe environment for my son.  I want to be better a my job. I don’t want my client or others to regret taking me back and I want to make a positive difference in the lives of others.  I want the Lord to help me use my gifts for His purpose.  I was asked last Sabbath to come today and play piano for Sabbath school. I am glad to have the opportunity to do so once again.  I’ve received mixed responses about this, but I am still encouraged to do so if asked.  This makes me think about another lady I sometimes see at church.  She just told me today that she would see me take the train and I never saw her.  If you see me getting off the train at your stop or anything of that nature, why not stop and say hello?  I’ve been on this train for over 2 years around the same time and I’m just now hearing this.  So I’m not going to church for a church family.  I’m going because I want to hear His word, be encouraged and encourage others with testimonies, and to have my son learn what truth is. 
I want to be a better mother and a better daughter of God.  There is a lot to pray about and work on.  My son is coughing and sick right now so I have to go, but I just wanted to come on here to publically thank the Lord for bringing me through another week safe and sound.  There is always something to be thankful for.  Thank the Lord today for the blessings He has given you in your life.

Another Blessed Year of Life

Happy Sabbath,

I had a great week and am thankful to see 34 years of life (as of yesterday).  On Sunday, I decided to treat my son to some race car driving among other things.  It was a very unstructured day because I was still trying to figure out what I was doing myself, but he and I went bowling, race car driving, on his first high air spin ride, among other things at a amusement park.  I then drove out of curiousity to see if this skating rink was still open from the time I attended as a child.  It actually was and we went roller skating until the place closed.  I fell once, hitting my head and thinking I had a concussion (I had this weird metallic taste in my mouth after I fell for a minute or so and the next day my head ached some).  The pain has since gone but I had a blast and my son had a wonderful time too being his first time using roller skates.  He’ll have to improve his balance before I take him ice skating. 

The next day I went to an amusement park/restaurant with my coworkers.  Despite me not liking them and them obviously not taking to me, I had a good time beating them at some of the arcade games available there. 

I had a productive week and was off on my birthday (Friday).  After dropping my son off at school, I decided to explore an area of this park.  I was blessed to come upon a sandy bank with direct access to a creek and there were benches and other nice areas to sit down and enjoy the beauty of the forest.  When I saw the legs of a deer coming up from the bank a short distance down from me, I bounced up on out of there.  I have been to this park many times over the years and never knew that this place was back there.  The park people added dark sand to create a path leading to the water in two different areas.  The paved portion of the walk/bike path goes deep through the woods and I have in the past stumbled upon deer in the wood (there is a post from last year on this).  After the woods, I paid my rent and went back home to do some old lady things (laundry, crock pot cooking, vacuuming, and mopping). 

Today I went to church and had an opportunity to talk with another mother who has a son and daughter straddling my son in age.  I have thought about what I would like to do when I get my house next year and one of those things is to start teaching music again.  She asked for me to teach her two children and does not live too far away.  I have an upright piano in my parent’s garage ready and waiting to be moved to my new house.  I fully intend to have a music room for all of the instruments in my collection and this could be something I can do whenever I need to make some extra money.  And I am going to need the extra money.  It’s been over 5 years since I last taught.  I had five different children I was working with in the past but since I moved and all the things that happened prior to my son’s birth, I’ve lost those connections. 

I know that the Lord can open these doors and I thank Him for opening this one.  I don’t feel good that I was not able to focus on the sermon.  The speaker in the room was too quiet and after the microphone sound was increased, my attention was not where it should have been.  Too many children in one room.  Too many questions being thrown around and me getting into social worker mode trying to offer a list of resources did not help the situation much. 

I am glad to be home this Sabbath and to have had another opportunity to play for the Sabbath school service.  I’m glad that I have another tool to use for disciplining my son (15 minute time out).  I have not needed to spank him and I feel as though I am becoming a better parent using this along with puppets to talk with him when he is struggling to communicate or not being honest with me.  It’s been a good week and I am looking forward to another great year with God. 

Thankful For Kite strings and Other Good Things

Happy Sabbath,

I had a good week and a great day at church today. I thank God for keeping me safe out on the road, focused during my meetings, and to spend quality time with my son.

I thank God for helping me to get to my appointments without needing to use a navigation system. I tried this for two days with places that are not easy and He helped me to get there and back home with no problems.

He helped my son to behave himself at school on friday. He's been a bit aggressive toward other classmates when he feels like he should get the next turn or should possess something. He is too young to be pushing people or kicking his classmate in the head (yes he did this somehow) and I have been working on tweaking my discipline process to get this under control. If I get bad reports from school or if he is continually disobedient in any other setting, he is then required to sit in time out for 15 minutes.  He cooperates with this and listens better after his timeouts.

I am thankful for an opportunity to participate in the music ministry at church. The main pianist comes to church late because she has knee issues so when she is not there, I enjoy being able to fill in for Sabbath school.

I have been wanting to find movies and activities for my son on Sabbath and I thank God for helping me to find a movie that he can enjoy but also is about Noah's ark and the creatures He made. The theme is forgiveness (although not perfectly accurate), its just great to have to keep his focus where it should be.

On sunday, my son flew a kite for the first time. I flew one along side him (my last time doing so was when i was 4 years old too. We went again later in the week and it was so much fun. I am thankful for the beautiful parks that are available in my home town. We explored a deeper part of the forest that i never walked and i am excited about nature again. I took one day to fast this week and it made a good difference in how i functioned for the latter half. I have been doing news reading, watching, game overload. I will add eating to this as well. I did eat later that day, but i decided to read the Bible and not listen to the radio or connect with all the stuff that is put there like i usually do.

I thank Jesus for all of these things and pray that you too have a wonderful new week with Him.

Spinning

Happy Sabbath,

This is going to be a short post but God has been awesome nonetheless.

Today I went to church and played for Sabbath school.  It came time for people to talk about the goodness of God and I hesitated to mention something that happened earlier this week.  God had someone else speak after my hesitation.  This person talked about her experience driving and being nervous when out on the road around this time of year.  The Lord kept her when she was unsure of herself the many times she has been out there and I was glad to hear her testimony. 

I decided not to speak on my experience as I felt that it would in many ways overshadow what she talked about.  I’ve had many accidents, some of which were terrible.  Like her, around this time of year, I had a great struggle going out in my car to get to work and school.  What I am talking about is that accident I had on October 19th in 2014.  Satan attacked me every single day, all in an effort to make me fear going out of the house.  I decided to trust in the Lord despite these attacks and have overcome by the grace of God. 

On Sunday, I went out with my son to his adventurers club and he did good that day.  On the way home, it was raining (not hard) and I took the long way home because I wanted to do something different.  I have gone this path many times before, but don’t really recall if I drove that way on a rainy day (probably so), but I came down the road and entered a turn (ramp) that would put me on another road.  Suddenly, my car began to spin to the right.  It kept spinning and went a full circle and a half before we stopped.  All I could see and imagine was the car hitting the curb to my right and bursting the tires, stranding us on the side of the road.  I called on the name of Jesus and He helped us.  My son thought it was fun and games but again like I said, this time of year comes with a bunch of mess for me.  It was the first day that he went back to school, September 7th, that I purchased two new front tires because the car mechanics from Pepboys said they alone were on the verge of blow out.  They mentioned nothing about the rear tires.  On September 6th, my tire pressure signal came on and I put air in the tires but knew something was wrong because every time it came on, there was either a nail in the tire or some leak somewhere. 

Well this time Pepboys said that the rear tires didn’t have enough tread on them and having new tires on only half of the car would make for a brake lock skid situation.  I didn’t want to chance it so I purchased two rears to match the front with the same package option as the front on October 10th. 

I thank God that we didn’t hit a curb, that the car did not flip over, and that my car did not hit or get hit by another car as we were not alone on the road. 

I took my son to school on Friday and was talking with the parent of another classmate of my son.  We both have the same first name but she doesn’t know that.  She told me that on 10/12, someone ran a light and totaled her 2005 car.  She and my son’s classmate were in that car.  She is also 9 month’s pregnant.  She walked away with a sprained wrist and is driving a rental.  Prior to that, I think the day before I read in the news that there were accidents EVERYWHERE.  One report said they had to send out divers.  Others said electric wires blocked opposing 6 lanes of traffic.  There were fatalities and major damage.  Even when I was driving to and from my appointments I noticed people were not driving with much care and I had to dip to the side to make sure my mirrors stayed in tact.  I just found out also this week after getting the tires that my headlight is not working right.  I need a new bulb.  It’s always something.  A spider or something bit me good on my arm and woke me up from my sleep.   October is not a good month for me, but if not for God.

If not for God.

I thank God for yesterday and for today.  I thank Him for tomorrow.  I have yet to be seriously injured in any situation.  I’ve seen people seriously injured.  I’ve seen people not make it out alive.   No matter what comes my way, I know that I can trust in the Lord.  You can too.

Fire and Peace

Happy Sabbath

I first want to mention this so that those who are praying people, will pray over this situation.

I was returning home and noticed police taping off a section of the street and a fireman pulling a hose along the street. When I asked a lady who was sitting out on the curb, she said it was a fire on the other side of us. I opened my door and all I could smell from that point onward was smoke and I came to my balcony and saw at least two apartments burned out directly across from me. Please pray for them because there was a young family downstairs. It looked like the fire started upstairs. I never saw who lived upstairs but I would always see their tv flickering behind their curtains. There also appeared to be damage to the apartments to the right of them on their line.

Thankfully I am 2 minutes away from my parents' house and they just went on their trip to NC yesterday afternoon so I can be over here with my son in a safe place.  There is a small suburban hospital in between my apartment complex and my parents’ house (plus field and like one extra road). When I passed the hospital, I saw two more ambulances being dispatched over to my area but they were not moving fast or with sirens. I just pray that all who were involved in this situation are ok and that no one perished.

Someone at church today the Sabbath School about a situation that just happened to his neighborhood too. He received a call from his daughter in another state who was asking if he was ok. In his neighborhood, there were police searching yards for someone and he looked outside to see the action unfolding after her call. The story was on the news. There are so many dangers unknown that we don’t even think about, but the Lord protects us from them. I thank God that my son, I, and our belongings were not affected by the situation that unfolded today. This is just one more thing that makes me want to work harder on getting into our new house next year.

I am thankful for another opportunity to be used to play piano today. I had a chat with someone who let me know I could transfer my membership to this church or I could do a profession of faith and not have to the other church. I have thought about it and am still holding off. I want to do it when I am sure I have a house in this community. I have been attending for I think over a year and I come every week with my son. I continue to be cautious because you can’t trust that people are coming to the church for the right purpose. There is someone who attends who gives me the creeps and (acts unusual around children). I refuse to let my son out of my sight and after something he said today and where I found him (with no good purpose being), I have a responsibility to look out for the other younger children who are not mine. Molestation is a big problem nowadays and it seems that many open testimonies of struggle and triumph in the Lord for most people includes some form of abuse in the church. I am trusting my gut and something is not right with this person who is a parent of two teens who attend there. His wife is there for God and is always paying attention to the sermon. She is not looking to see where he is going to. Perhaps I am wrong but whatever the case, this is something that needs to be prayed about.

To end this post, I had a wonderful and productive week. My son is having g some behavioral challenges at school but God is helping means his teacher and others to work through it. We went to the park on Sunday and out of all the children who could come to the park who go to the schools there in that township, his best friend in school came there. He played so we’ll with him and his little cousin and older brother. It’s just wonderful to see how he has grown. He shares, takes turns, is kind, and fun to be around and he is speaking better. I thank God that he is becoming better adjusted in social situations. Now if I can just get him past his little tantrums he has at school, then we would be perfect.

He's getting there and that’s what matters.

Beautiful Day

Happy Sabbath,

I had a good week this week and thank God for it.  Today was the baptism of two teens who go to what I am calling my church for now.  It was such a wonderful sight to see and I am happy to see that they have taken the next step in their commitment to the Lord.  It was 10 years ago on September 1st, that I took those same steps and I was filled with excitement and joy and couldn’t wait to step into the pool.  There was much for me to learn and grow in and even now, I continue to and I pray that these young ladies will hold on to Jesus and what they know to be the truth as He has showed them.  The song I chose during my baptism was I Know Whom I Have Believed.  My favorite scriptures at the time was Psalm 25 and Psalm 30.  I have other scriptures since then, but that song could not be any more perfect. 

This morning I also played for the first half of Sabbath school on the piano.  I was still nervous but I was able to shake out most of the nerves toward the end.  I never used to be like this.  I just want to be ready for if I am called on for this or anything more.  There are some songs in the hymnal that I have trouble reading and getting through and I know that this church has called the pianist or organist at times to play them.  At my old church, I never said I wouldn’t try but I did let them know it was going to be interesting if I did attempt.  Today, they asked for ones I am familiar with and have had played many times before.  Now that the organist has moved to another state (with the expectation of them playing today), there is a possibility I will have to prepare myself as the main pianist might be home sick or dealing with some other issue.  Today, she was late for Sabbath school and that’s how I ended up playing this morning.

I want to give thanks to God for the ability to play the piano as well as I do.  I want to thank Him for helping me to be organized and focused during my meetings and work this week.  I was telling my mother the other day how there are times people don’t respond to my messages and I am thankful because I learn that there is an issue with scheduling a meeting on a particular day and being able to find an answer for a problem for another situation I didn’t even know that was occurring at the same time.  God handles these things when I should be up poop creek. 

I thank Him for helping my plants to grow.  I brought in my broccoli plant, palm tree, grape vine, rubber tree, and tomato plants.  I thought the broccoli died but one out of three survived and is still reaching it’s leaves to the sunshine.  My palm tree grew taller and wider and my rubber tree tripled in size in just 3 short months.  I love being able to see life inside my home and out.  What I am even more excited for is the house I am planning for next year.  My apartment is too small to hold these plants and after seeing the heights to which a rubber tree can grow in person, I definitely need to have a house.

I will continue to pray about what I should do and how to get ready.  I have been in contact with my realtor and will begin looking at houses in January/February.  I am thankful the Lord is giving me an opportunity to do this without public assistance or other charity. 

One last thing I need to mention.  My son went to school on Monday and my mother dropped him off and picked him up.  She went to pick him up with my older sister who will be assisting one day next month with this (she came along to see the process).  The teacher was not there because there was a death in her family but the two aids who are with the class were there.  At the time, I didn’t know how many aids there were.  Because the teacher was out, he had to go to another room with another class because there were no substitute teachers.  When my mom went to get him, they were not at their normal waiting spot and it was only when my mother heard someone call the name of another child in my son’s class that she was able to find him in a completely different area waiting.  There was no communication from the school about this to me or my mother.  I was praying about a different situation for my son that day.  The enemy really tried us because when I got to the house to see about my son, my mother showed me his bookbag.  My son’s lunch bag was missing and what she found instead were a bag of popcorn and an open bag of peanut butter crackers in the zipper part of the bookbag. 

My son is severely allergic to nuts.  I have been struggling all month also to get an epi pen prescription filled by the pharmacy so there was no epi pen on file at the school for him.  Thankfully, he didn’t see the crackers or mess with them.  I sent an email to the teacher and to the principal and was able to talk to the aids at the school the next morning when I took him to school.  I also photographed the sign on the classroom door which specifically says it is a nut free classroom and has directions for staff on this issue.  I called the doctor to hear them say they sent the script on September 7th before school started to the pharmacy.  I called the pharmacy for them to say the script came in and they were going to fill it (it was out of stock) but they kept saying before that they were waiting for the script al this time.  Then when they said it was going to be filled, I pull up for them to tell me that they couldn’t fill it because the insurance network was down.  I received a call the next day saying something was ready but it didn’t say what or for whom.  I pulled up yesterday and was able to pick up the EPI pen for $5.  Without insurance it would have been $649.00.  I am looking at it now on the chair across from me. 

I thank God that he did not come into contact with the crackers and that I do have the last medication he needs for the school.  His albuterol is already there.  I thank Him that I have insurance for him.  I thank Jesus for having our back and looking out for us.

Stand Up For What You Believe In

Happy Sabbath,

I had a challenging week but was encouraged by the Lord. If Jesus can get through all the attacks, hate, and evil and overcome the world, I can with His help.

On Sunday, we had an event at our church occurring at the same time as the Adventurers meeting. I received a text asking if I was attending the meeting and I responded in the affirmative. Then I was asked to teach the Adventurers Little Lambs as the teacher was out sick. I decided to do it and we had a fun time, but I don't feel that I am called to teaching.

Afterwards, I heard music being played in the sanctuary and saw that the pastor was playing the electric guitar. I decided to join him with the piano and it really was a nice time. Aside from playing during the Adventurer induction ceremony, for the previous Sabbath's pre-worship Sabbath school, I have not played in public for over 5 years. They have a grand piano and it just produces such a premium sound. One day, I would love to have one in my house...in my living room.

During the week, I was hit with satan's attacks through family members, co workers, racist strangers on the street to even one of my clients. It was really interesting. The enemy will throw any and everything at you to see which arrow sticks best.  I made it with the Lord's help to church today and was able to hear the sermon.

The speaker talked about challenges he faced and encouraged us to trust in God and keep the same face on that we have in church on while out in the world. He remained consistent. He didn't give up. The title of the sermon spoken by a 25 year old guy was Don't Give Up. We must be ready in and at any moment to speak and live in the truth. My dad tried challenging me with the Bible. My mother tried to challenge me too, but she doesn't have God's word in her arsenal. I gave answers to my dad and he didn't know what to do. The verses were right there and he tried to skip over them. Then he was silent for a while and decided to give his attention to other matters outside.

My sister is at her college graduation this hour. I am not attending and it has upset my parents. I had my mind made up well before I read the story in the quarterly at the end of this week. It said a guy was friends with an Adventist in some eastern european country over there. They graduated highschool and just finished some college entrance exams when they saw an advertisement talking about an air show happening on Sabbath. The guy decided to join his friend at church the same day that the event was occurring and if he had not, he would have been caught in the crowd of hundreds that were injured/killed when one plane exploded over the crowd that afternoon. I don't believe my sister believes in God. The graduation event is not focusing worship, praise, or lifting up God. To many, they have completed years of coursework due to only their efforts. They don't acknowledge the Creator in their studies or day to day life. Even if they do for school, I still look at a college graduation as a secular event.

If my graduation were scheduled for a Sabbath, I would not have attended. My smaller graduate school graduation was on a thursday and the larger on Friday. I didnt attend the Friday one and my parents tried to pressure me with that one too. My parents tried to say I went to my cousin's graduation party on Sabbath back on 2015, but they forgot that the party was held on Sunday. If it were Sabbath, I never would have attended.  So it is important to be consistent, if you believe with all your heart about any given thing.

When Sabbath ends, I plan to join the family at Red Lobster for dinner. I'm a strict vegetarian and Red Lobster is not very accomodating so I have packed some items to make a plain salad a wholesome meal. There are pressures to give up this health journey I am on. Our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit. Last time, years ago, Red Lobster was my favorite place for shrimp scampi, cheddar bay biscuits, and any form of shrimp linguine. I even remember the very first time I tasted shrimp, but scavengers of the earth and sea were not meant to be consumed by people. Shrimp may be tasty, but they are the cockroaches of the sea. Seriously.  So anyways, I will go and celebrate my sister's success after Sabbath.

I thank the Lord that she was able to complete this program. She has been floating along without motivation for much of anything so perhaps this will lead to new and great experiences for her that will not only bring her great satisfaction and passion about life, but also closer to Jesus.

I thank the Lord for the message this Sabbath and the encouragement from the book of Isaiah He gave me.

I also thank Him for extra confirmation about the previous situation. Although I already spoke about it, I did see an albino child (read last week's post) during the back to school night my son's school was hosting.  God is alive and He hears us if we search for Him with all our hearts and let go of our sinful ways. All we have to do is be determined to try to be faithful to Him every day. God does answer prayer.

Talk to Jesus today!

A House on a Hill

Happy Sabbath,

I have a testimony for this week.

Monday, I returned to work at the office and spent time catching up on a lot of work.  During my shift, I missed a call from the bank I contacted first about getting pre-approved for a mortgage.  Prior to applying on 9/7/17, I saw a post about a guy who was trying to get money for a house.  He made about the same as me and had more than 50% less than what I currently have in debt.  I think we also had similar credit scores not sure, but the way it read, he was the most comparable to me and set the mark for what I expected of myself.  I went to visit my parents on Sunday and while I was over there, my dad received a call from my aunt.  She is someone who I enjoy talking to, but I don’t stay in contact with (I don’t stay in contact with anyone really outside of the immediate family).  I talked with her for a while and shared with her that I was looking to purchase a house next year and she encouraged me in the Lord to keep moving forward with the search, to trust that the Lord would not withhold good things from His children.

I haven’t been a good child of God, but I’m working on it.  Although she is Baptist and argumentative like my dad, I still enjoy talking to her when I do (she is my favorite aunt of all).  She sent me a picture of one of her son’s house’s in Richmond, VA.  He purchased a gorgeous brick house for $45,000.  The house looked like it could be worth $200+.  It was a foreclosure and she happened to spot it and spoke to the owner about it, and prayed about it.  I asked her to pray for my situation.

Well Monday, I went to work and missed the call from the bank.  I thought it would be appropriate to wait until I finished work to then return the call and when I did, I braced myself for the good or bad.  If God said I could not get more than what I imagined I would get, what the guy who was comparable to me was offered, I would then instead plan to rent probably forever and put that money towards my son’s and our vacation to one of the random destinations I wrote about a few years ago (Phillippines, Namibia, Borneo…you get the drift). 

I was offered double the other guy’s offer (his was $50k, mine was $100k).  I discussed my debt during the call, but that has no effect on my offer.  I know to many people, $100k is chump change and couldn’t get them a nice house in the county/state that they live in, but where I have been focusing my sights, the homes are great, the township is great (I grew up there and know a lot about it), the schools are okay (doing better), the taxes are lower than surrounding towns, and the homes are around 50-60 years old so they require less work than some older communities.  During my winter/spring search, I saw beautiful homes for 60k-80k in this community.  The location is perfect (distance to mass transit/work, major highways and interstates).  They rebuilt the town center, it has beautiful parks, a golf course, recreation center, a new and awesome library, and so much more.  If I go to the other town I was considering, they have nice Victorian style homes but they are much older and closer to the flood zone  There is so much more variety with the homes in the town I am focusing my search on and I have been in several styles of the homes already so I know what the layouts are and generally want to expect. 

When I was told they were offering me this money, I jumped up and down out in public for joy.  I never do that. 

I went to catch the train when I ran into someone that I met before who is in need, ot at least I thought.  I prayed about that situation too.  I choose not to allow people to get close to me because when I have in the past, I was used for money and treated like trash.  I prayed about this person who appears to be a very nice lady, she with her two children (one 4 and one 3).  I got on the train to go home and over heard a conversation between someone else that seemed to mirror the encounter I had with her that day.  I felt that if God could bless me this greatly, I should go and bless someone else, and that is what I thought I did.  After the ride and much later on in the day, I thought more about what she said as far as her situation.

She told me her job let her go last month and all she has is hot dogs in her fridge.  She went to the benefits office to get assistance as her benefits have been cut off but was not able to get any help.  I asked her for her name and I asked her for a phone number but she claimed she did not have a working phone number.  She gave me an address she lived at.  I gave her my business card should she get a phone and need to call ( I stopped short of giving my cell phone, which I think may have been for the best). 

When I was home, I googled the locations of the welfare assistance offices in the city where she resides and wondered why this was the second time I ran into her at the same location that is not convenient to her.  The location I ran into her at is no where near any of the welfare assistance offices.  She was waiting in this area with her two children and once again, did not have money to pay for her way back home.  I’m still praying about this situation but what I did pray for was for God to show me if she was lying about her situation.  I do not want to get in a situation again where people are lying to me and using me and I am struggling myself trying to make ends meet, but bending over backwards supporting those who mean me ill will.  I prayed this week that if she is lying, that the Lord show me an albino.  I went all week doing my work going about my business.  Right before Sabbath started, I was checking the news as I missed it all day due to other work.  I was reading the new when I came across an headline about white giraffes. 

Now I never heard of white giraffes so of course I opened the article and read about these two wild white giraffes in Kenya.  They are extremely rare and the article was short so I just googled white giraffes.  Now the articles that popped up mentioned albinism but said that these giraffes did not albinism but were leusitic, but the definition of the leusitic condition and albinism, the way I read it leaves room for a creature to be either one of the options since they bring up some partiality for the lack of color/melanin or existence of some melanin for both.  Scientists say they are not albinos.  When I saw the image of the white giraffe’s, before I read the other articles, albino was the first thing that came to my mind.  I mean, what would you think it was first if you spoted a white giraffe or elephant, or peacock?  You’d think it was albino right?  I’m so like Gideon, it’s terrible. 

As I sat thinking about the image I just saw and went into Sabbath, I was playing a program (Veggie Tales) which is a children’s cartoon that has lessons about God and replays Bible stories in modern ways that children can relate to.  I was thinking about the image when the story of Gideon came up and Gideon asked for the fleece to be dry and the ground to be wet.  The scientist explanation bothered me.  What I am seeing is an albino giraffe but scientists/zoologists what have you say it is not.  I prayed for something else and only God knows what that is.  If it comes to pass, I will write about it most definitely. 

I went to church today and promised my son a reward if he continued to behave during the day.  I came in before the Sabbath school teacher showed up and decided to sit in the sanctuary and wait until I was sure if she would be there.  As I sat, a lady asked me to play the piano for the Sabbath school service.  I have not played piano for church Sabbath school service or general service for 5+ years.  I was nervous and messed up a little but was able to play two songs she called at random.  My son sat and waited until I was done and we went downstairs for his lesson.  So what this means is, I need to practice in case I am called again.  I used to know every song by number and during the communion service, the numbers started coming back to me.  I don’t know if the Lord will require me to do piano at this church.  I remember stepping in at my last church when the only pianist was leaving and enjoying playing hymns every Sabbath and at nursing homes I would visit.  I used to teach piano during the week to make extra money.  If and when I get my house, I have been promised at least one piano from my parents.  My parents have 3 pianos at their house and my dad said he was talking to someone who gave him the third piano that they had another one they were willing to give to him for free.  What I want most is a grand piano, but the ones we have so far are the regular up right ones.  I want to teach music again and have a music room (I have been gathering instruments from clarinets, flutes, guitars, violins, to trumpets, harmonicas, and what ever I can find). I’m going to need that extra money. 

At this time, I am trying to see if I can get a mortgage payment that is lower than what I pay for rent.  I pay $970 and next month it will be $980.  Now I didn’t realize how much I would have to pay for property taxes and thought the amount was included in the smaller figure that was told to me.  It’s not.  My parents pay $5500 for property taxes so if no other numbers come in, I would expect to pay $985 each month (what I would pay next year as I would plan to remain in my current apartment if I was not offered anything above $50k).  If I had a small part time job, I would be able to live more comfortably, but I cannot think of a part time job that would work for me at this time.  I’m praying about that too. 

So these are all the things I am concerned about this week.  The person I ran into this week and waiting for an answer from the Lord about the other thing.  The loan offer and if I can get a lower payment.  If I will commit to being a pianist at church if I am called to do so.  My son’s behavior overall and a bunch of other unspoken things that I’m not ready to write for you to read. 

Please pray for me and I pray that you have a wonderful and blessed week.  I pray that the Lord leads us and that we take the time to hear Him and understand what it is He wants us to do each and every day.  That we do all according to His will and that we are satisfied in His plans for us. 

Travel the World or Stay Put

Happy Sabbath

I thank the Lord for bringing me through another week and being able to enjoy a nice quiet sunny afternoon at home. 

I thank Jesus that I was able to stay on my current job 2 years (started September 8th), and that I am still in a state where I enjoy my job and the people I serve.  I went to a meeting where I met some disgruntled members and was able to handle it with a level of professionalism I didn’t even realize I had.  Usually I have warning that such people might show up to a meeting and I pray over it and stress out, but God had it that I was able to breeze right through with confidence and answer their questions thoroughly.  With Jesus, I can handle any and all surprises.

My son went back to school on Thursday and I was able to be off that day to see him through the process.  He is not getting a bus this year so I have to drive him to school.  I am thankful that I can make my schedule work so I can be there for him.  He has a smaller class size (6 total) so I thank God that he will have that individualized attention again this year and that he has what appears to be a great teacher working with him. 

That same day, I went to my car appointment as it was over due for another oil change and general maintenance.  I left having paid not only for general maintenance, but also for two new front tires.  The day before, my tire pressure sensor went off and I was concerned.  The weather was a little cooler, but not significant enough to cause the sensors to malfunction like they did in the past one time.  All the other times the sensors went off, it was due to a faulty tire or a nail.  They said my rear tires were good but the front two were on the verge of blow out and worn down.  The day before, I was able to put air in the tires to get the sensor to go off, but I couldn’t remember how long I had the tires and knew it would be time coming that I would have to make an expensive necessary but unwanted purchase.  I am thankful that the Lord had me put their Pep Boys savings coupons in my purse because I was going to need something.  Total cost was around $423 and I didn’t have them bother with the AC because the season is changing.  I’ll address that for next year. 

I scheduled that car appointment because I heard a story in the news of a lady who hit a bunch of people and they at first said that she claimed her brakes failed.  I didn’t want to be that lady driving down the street and causing an accident because a tire blew out or I couldn’t stop at the intersection.  I do a lot of driving.  Unfortunately, the excuse the lady gave did not hold up as she was arrested for driving under the influence and there was nothing further mentioned blaming her vehicle. 

I completed an application with my credit union also on Thursday.  I wanted to complete one with another bank or two, but couldn’t find links on their website.  When I submitted the form on the site, it said I was pre-qualified.  I am concerned because I am starting to build debt again and as long as I continue renting in the place I am in, I will continue to lose money.  If I choose to pay less, I will have to move into an area that is not as clean, quiet, smaller sized rooms, and be around people and things I’d prefer not to be in close quarters to.  My first apartment I learned later had many people who were staying there killed (gangs, drug deals, etc…).  My second apartment, I had a crazy neighbor banging on my wall telling me not to use my water, pests, and domestic violence situations down stairs that led to a bleeding 12 year old hiding out in my apartment (true story).  My third apartment was more expensive, in a quieter setting, but still a step down from the previous location.  My current home is almost double the cost of the previous apartments, but at least I have my own private entry way, a balcony garden, washer/dryer and dish washing machine, and a better maintenance crew.  I want a house.  I want a house, but I have to allow the Lord to have His way.  I am praying that I get a mortgage, get accepted despite the debt I currently have (it’s a lot), and be able to provide for my son the way I dream of being able to. 

A few years ago I said that in 2017, I would allow my son to pick a place for us to travel to.  I think I said I would have him pick that place on my birthday (which is next month).  I would then work on getting passports and book the trip on his birthday.  We would then travel near the end of 2018 to that place.  I had places like Israel, Morocco, Australia, Namibia, Philippines, and Argentina.  I think I had like 16 places listed if not 20.  If I cannot buy a house next year, I think I might still go ahead with this plan.  We have a good amount of money to travel but I don’t want to waste an experience on him at an age where he is not able to appreciate it or even remember it.  I don’t know what the Lord’s plan is for me this or next year.

Lots of things to pray for.  I hope that you have a great new week and the clarity you need to keep walking with Jesus.  Please pray the same for me.

10TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Happy Sabbath

Today, well rather yesterday and today are very special days for me.  It has been 10 years since I was baptized as a Seventh Day Adventist.  Yesterday, I spent the day out with my son and the latter half with my older sister.  I had a great day off from work and now that I think about it, perhaps I should plan to be off of work every year for that day. 
Today I went to church not knowing what I would encounter.  There is a couple at my church who I never spoke with.  They are older and Ihave seen them from time to time but didn’t know who they were or how they were related to other people at the church.  I still to this day am guessing and think that one is the father of the person who teaches my son at Sabbath school.  The church was packed today and they did something different that reminded me of my old church. The service was like an interview and he gave his testimony about how he came to the Lord and what has kept him believing in Christ all these many years.  There were many people but it felt smaller and more intimate. 
He talked about his Buddhist past and how he and his father both started getting Bible studies at the same time.  They were baptized the same day.  He spoke about the Adventist education system, going to college on the west coast, meeting his wife, and the most important lessons he learned over the years. 
I was able to take some notes and plan to look back at them from time to time.  I was encouraged and inspired by him to try harder and live better for Christ.  I didn’t take heed to the warning I received on September 1st in 2011.  It is Ephesians 6:11.  That was when I was keeping company with an unsavory figure and didn’t realize that the enemy was working behind the scenes through that person.  I have been on YouVersion since June 2010.  When I first started studying the Bible and posting notes publicly, the enemy started even then.  September in 2011 was when some of the first of many attacks on my faith began.  I should also say that when certain things happened to me, although Youversion has the same verse saved every single year for every day of the year (they never change, I’ve checked), when I had a certain problem, question or situation, the verse of the day would speak to my problem perfectly.  God can use anything and I have experienced Him using Youversion too.

I felt like such a failure but 10 years in, I can say that the Lord has kept me and brought me through some of my most difficult times.  What the enemy means for evil the Lord does turn around for our good.  I thank the Lord for not letting me go.  This week reminds me to try harder, live better, and do what I can to lead others to Him.  He has entrusted to me a son and when I have by sin and ignoring the dangers, lost friends and gained doubters in my God and in all that I had shared with them, I have someone still that I can talk to and who can walk with me, experiencing the wonders of God first hand.  My son was good during Sabbath school.  He sat and listened during Children’s story.  He prayed for the class and he is learning about Jesus.  This gives me great joy and I am thankful for an opportunity such as this.  I am thankful for 10 years, 11 years of being a Christian.  I am thankful for this Sabbath day.  I am thankful for Jesus. 

Vacation

Happy Sabbath,

I want to thank the Lord for a great week off for vacation.  I was able to go to the beach with my son and have a great time.  I no longer have free easily accessible wifi so my data plan has been almost maxed out (including the roll over data I didn’t use when I relied heavily on the wifi).  I was so uncertain as to how I could travel the long distance to the beach without my phone dictating my every turn.  I decided to give the drive a go without turn by turn, constantly glancing at my phone map and recalling roads I took before to get there.  I was able to go and come back without needing the navigation feature on my phone. I only used the data to load up initial directions and even if I veered off from them, I was able to figure out how to get back.  In current times, it is so much easier because you don’t need to have navigation set up on your phone.  Your phone can show exactly where you are without data and it helps so much the more as you read a map. Imagine having a paper map constantly having to unfold it to figure out why you are so far west from where you were supposed to turn.  I don’t miss those days. I also was able to go back to the zoo to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I really didn’t but it was nice to walk through and know exactly where I was going. 

When I pulled up to the zoo main entrance (first time going that way), there was no parking and dozens more cars were coming in.  The first time I came down, I ended up going to the back side parkinglot on the other side of the zoo away from the main entrance.  Most people don’t know about this side so when I found no spaces on the main side, I was able to get a spot just about at the entrance on that side after arriving 30 minutes late.  God is good.

I found the roads I was familiar with and went straight to the beach. We sat in the sand and let the water lap up over us, pushing us this way and that.  We even went out to deeper stronger waves and it was the first time I got soaked at the beach.  I usually don’t go that far in and I cannot swim well. 

I attended a home buying seminar on Tuesday with my son.  When I registered for the event, I didn’t expect to have my son with me but my parents went to NC for the week so that meant I would have to bring him with me.  I prayed that my son would be quiet and that I would be able to get the most information out of the seminar.  I even printed up a financial profile of myself to give to a banker there in case I would not be able to stay past 5 minutes as my son is rarely cooperative.  I drove 45 minutes away to this seminar with my son and praise God, we were able to sit the entire hour through it without him having a tantrum, breaking into offices, running in the street, and having to need to use the potty.  He only burped, had some audible flatulence that made one person laugh, and annoyingly touch this veteran’s lower back who sat in front of us.

This week I was able to finally get some dry cleaning done.  I reorganized my cupboards (two really), was able to use the free $20 Kohl’s cash Captial One gave me for being a great customer on some cute items, and get a bunch of other things done. 

I had a great week and my son was better behaved at church today so we were able to stay.

I am happy and am enjoying the day.