God Helped My Memory

In the middle of prayer I remembered just now. It is still Sabbath and a wonderful relaxing afternoon.

God helped me to remember.
God helped me though my anxieties to do a good job with my meetings this week.
God helped me through my fears as a spider was within inches of my face. As three huge flying bugs (one had a stinger) were in my home.
God helped me to be encouraged with the work that I do through the testimony of another coworker's devotion to serve the Lord after he was given a second chance to live.
God helped me spend more time with my son and see awesome moments of his growth.

I am happy and I am blessed.

I was so comfortable and happy that I forgot to start writing about how good the Lord has been, writing in this blog. I have made it my aim to write in this blog every Sabbath and I have been doing this for nearly a year (not peeking at first post date).

I never thought I would continue each Sabbath for this long, but the Lord continues to work marvelous things in my life, and that is why I continue to post.

God is good. Praise Jesus today!

Funerals Won't Continue Forever

Happy Sabbath

" In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand."

I have the version that Christina Grimmie sang along with others that have been my favorites.

I went to the viewing this afternoon at her childhood church and stood along with many of her friends and family and other fans who like me enjoyed her God given talent on YouTube, the Voice, and beyond.

I met her dad and he was handling it well. Her brother Marcus was there for about a half hour and left. When I first read in the news that she was murdered, I couldn't believe it and it took me reading it about three times to fully comprehend what the article was saying.  Her family home is only a few minutes away from mine. I was in the marching band in highschool and frequently went to her school for competitions and the other school Lenape down the street was equally good.

So when I learned she went to that school, I was not surprised as they have some talented people there. She was extremely talented and amazing and I am comforted in knowing that she had a good relationship with Jesus.

She was not afraid to sing about God when so many of her peers go the popular route. Her faith showed through her music and it was this along with how she could do covers of songs and sing them better than the original artists, her humility and her love for Zelda and other games I grew up on that drew me to her.

I talked with a few friends of the family. One said she was so wonderful with her granddaughter who was intensely shy. She knew her from childhood. The other ladies were close friends with her parents and pointed out her grandfather and other cousins. I was one of the few minorities there and in some ways felt out of place, but as we passed the news and paparazzi cameras and entered the church, people became more friendly and talkative.

Christina sings a song called I Bet You Don't Curse God and it played at least once while we were inside. She sings about situations that don't work out or are what you never expected. ..feared and have come true.  There is pain and life hurts. There's a thousand things people think they don't deserve, but those things happen anyway. To the bad. To the good. To those who try their hardest to walk the straight and narrow. The Bible says one thing gets to us all. We all die in this life but it is what you do with your life that matters most. She lived a life that has inspired many and I hope brought people into a closer walk with Jesus. She was a Christian and lived kindly to others.

We can learn from her example and should do so in honor of her and the example that she followed, Jesus, to live kindly. Love others.

She sang a cover for Sia called Titanium. Satan can throw anything. God has her. God has you so live the best way you can in this short time you have. Jesus has us, we just need to give our all to Him and not worry about what may come our way.

There will come a time when there will be no more death. The sorrows that we have, the tears will be wiped away. Jesus knows our sorrows and He cares for us. We don't know why she died in this way but know that God loves her and loves you too. He really does.

Praise be to God for His comfort and healing power.

Restorer of Dreams and Joy

It’s another wonderful Sabbath day and I am at home with my son.

I’ve had some ups and downs this week, but God is good and helped me through each day.  Everything I needed to arrive from Amazon came and I have done well in setting up this place.  I am sitting in my pillow nook below the window in my room and am so comfortable in each room.  I still want to further divide the room, but have not decided if I want another Kalax unit, install a bar for a curtain into the already standing unit, or get a few more gigantic leaves to canopy divide and give it a tropical look of entering a rainforest.  That last idea sounds really cool…those gigantic leaves are about $15 each.  Two more could suffice. 

I was so disappointed in myself yesterday after my last meeting.  I had time to prepare but still was not prepared enough and felt stupid even though I was able to respond.  I hate feeling that way and did not make a good first impression.  The other days, the Lord helped me through my anxiety and I did well facilitating processes I was not fully familiar with.  Some agencies I have great teams to work with.  Others are snake pins full of vipers who for the life of me, I can’t understand how such bitter mean spirited people even want to do social work in this way.  If you don’t like people, you shouldn’t be doing this.  You could be earning so much more else where.  Go away.

I met with vipers this week and I meet with them next week. 

On Sunday, I sat and looked through photographs of myself before disaster struck and wondered where certain items were.  I saw a shirt I loved in a photo and after 3 years, my body has gone through so many physical changes, I might just be able to fit it if I can find it.   It probably too is being held hostage in my aunt’s garage.

I went through more bags and more are waiting to get in my car and be opened here in my home.  I have just too much stuff and I will have to set aside a day to trash or donate a lot of it.  I found the shirt and wore it twice this week.  The shirt fit perfectly and I was overjoyed. 

I found a skirt I wore when I was 12 and 13 years old.  I am 32 and yet could wear the skirt comfortably.  I zipped it up and walked around in it for a while before receiving texts from my mother and sister to trash it or put it in a frame on the wall. It's hanging in my closet. I found clothes I made 10 years ago, accessories I bought during various adventures, and things that reminded me of what I used to dream of and live for.  I used to want to go to Jerusalem so badly but when disaster came along, I dug a grave for that idea. 

I have enough funds for a trip to California with my son, but I always wanted to go to Jerusalem, this is your peace Jerusalem.  My reading plan this morning was giving me Hebrew words that every Christian should know and it brought Jerusalem up (providing this definition of Yerushalyim/Jerusalem). 

Things I thought could never happen can happen again.  God has reopened that door for me and He knows how much I love to travel.  I have a list of 16 places we can travel to and on my son’s birthday in 2018,  he will select one of those places.  I am saving for what ever place it will be at this time.  I will  purchase the trip on my birthday in 2018 and we will either leave at the end of 2018 or beginning of 2019.  I want to go away for at least 2.5 weeks and I selected places like Australia, Columbia,  Namibia, and the Phillipines.   We are going if it’s God’s will.  My last overseas trip was to Italy and I went initially to Rome, but Florence was on a whim and my last buck.  I enjoyed the SDA church over there and the welcome I received.  I met so many wonderful people from all over the world and was led through the city by an Italian who just learned English coming back from her year in South Africa. 

Where ever we go, I know will be awesome.  My son will still be young but the experience will be one he will never forget and neither will I. 

I am in this new place because of God.  I can dream again and pursue new adventures because of Jesus. 

Anything is possible with God. 

God Lives Here

Good morning and Happy Sabbath’’

I am pleased to say that I am writing this while sitting in my living room, my own place after over 3 years. 

I had a successful move with the help of one of my older sisters and some from my parents (they went to the aunt who was holding most of my stuff hostage and loaded their van with essentials like my kitchen table and chairs).  I rented a uhaul truck on Sunday and went to Ikea to get four living room chairs (went with a non traditional theme for cost and physically straining reasons) and purchased the 5x5 Kallax cube shelving unit along with wall lightingI and several other items.  I was disappointed to find the lacquered banana leaf stools unavailable (I intended to get two or three and stack them and add a round tray to make it a suitable table.  I didn’t like the inflexibility of their round tables and either wanted the coffee table to be an ottoman that could store other things, or seating that could be moved to the balcony or bedroom.  I stopped by Walmart which said the ottoman I wanted in grey was in stock, but when I got there, I couldn’t find it on the floor and staff claimed they never saw the product in their store.  I loaded up the beds and other furniture and moved all of it in. 

I am still moving stuff and have plenty of space.  I had a hornets nest and birds nest…and wasp nest (I sprayed that down the first day) on my balcony and the landlord said they took care of it.  We shall see.  I am loaded with hornet spray and want to install that bar so I can get the privacy curtains up. 

I stopped at Ross Stores for the first time in years and found two nice rugs, living room décor, and other things to complete each room.  I am still waiting for something from Amazon, but for the most part, this place is complete and amazing.  I have never had a space like this and I am so thankful that I can spend a quiet Sabbath in my own home.

My sister who helped me move lives in another court on the other side of the complex.  She has a one bedroom on the first floor with hardwood floors and I have a larger bedroom with carpet on the second floor.  The Ikea unit does really well to split the room so that my son and I have our own defined spaces.  She has Comcast and is permitting me to connect to her signal for free so my son and I can watch youtube, and get MSNBC, Sprout, and other channels we are used to. So far I have three devices connected and my mac serves as the main tv for the home, but my son can use his tablet if he prefers to see something else. 

When I went to Walmart yesterday, I discovered they sold cubes like Ikea did.  I bought a 9 cube shelving unit in dark chestnut for the living room because the furniture in the living room is darker than the other rooms. I assembled that before Sabbath and put up a few more things before calling it a night and I have a side table to assemble after sunset.

I had a few hiccups along the way, but God has blessed me to be able to get to this point and it can be no one else but God.

I could have been homeless.  I could be on welfare or in a hospital, in TN or GA totally defeated as I previously planned to go in desperation of escape from the enemy.  I could be broke and not have a cent to my name.  I was surrounded by the bulls of Bashan, their tongues wagging at me, their heads shaking.  They said I would be destroyed in so many ways, people who didn’t even know me and wouldn’t talk to me to understand my situation.  People without compassion, full of bitterness, and ravenous for the secret and public misery of others who never did them any harm.  They said many things or rather satan made them say these things because it was his force that came after me when I was open about my truth. 

My son is curled up in one of the comfy living room chairs, watching youtube.  He is alternating on his own between Yancy children’s worship songs and other material with children going through various fun experiences.  He is quiet and comfortable, clean and fed, and happy.  He is loved and provided for.  I can feed my son and I do not receive food stamps or handouts.  He is going to school and learning and talking.  He sings in tune and can remember the proper note to start on; he has a good ear. I will teach him piano, woodwinds, the guitar and have him exposed to more instruments as he gets older.  He knows sign language and is at the top of his class developmentally, even though he was diagnosed with autism.  He calls me Mommie and asks me what I’m doing on the computer and other questions that I never imagined he would ever get to the point to even speak, because his language was so delayed from the start.  He is thriving and in this new home, will continue to do so.  

I also don't have family who don't accept what I believe in telling me to do things they know I will not do on the Sabbath.  I don't have to hear my dad blasting Sir Mix a Lot from his wack iphone (as to why my dad did this the other week, I will never know because he's too old to listen to that).  And yes I said wack because we all know android is better for phones and he still doesn't know how to use his phone right. I don't have to smell sausage and bacon each morning or neckbone beans/or greens in the evening.  I don't have to worry about my son coming into contact with those things or other things he is allergic to on a daily basis as when he was close to at my parent's home. 

God is so good and I know that without Him, I would never have this.  I received an excellent evaluation from my supervisor at work and continue to receive great evaluations.  God is right on time and helps me to think of other ways I can do things when one thing doesn’t work out (looks at the bed risers that were for the bed that are now used for the book shelf). If it were not for God, I would not be here.  So it is a fantastic year and happy Sabbath to me.